"P-Please, please listen to me. Please, I don't want this. I don't--". She whimper but her words were cut off when he throws her on the bed

It was the first night after the marriage.

"I don't care what you want. You have killed my mother and took her away from me and I will take everything away from you". He growled as he hovers over her removing her scarf

She fights against his chest trying to move away as he starts to remove her dress.

Then he slapped her.

She whispers like a lost child weeping for help. She soon realises she wasn't worth the fight. That no one will ever fight her and there is no use in fighting herself.

"You are cheap and I hate that I had to do this with you. I would have rather done it with anyone else besides someone as low as you". He said after he was done taking her chastity, "No one will ever desire to have a wife like you".

That's when her heart broke.

She screams opening her eyes as she looks around scared that he might come back from somewhere. Since Zain is not as powerful and influential as Ahad she always fears of him coming back to get her or much less kill her.

It's been two weeks.

In these two week, she had just gone to a psychiatrist because of her nightmares every single night that wouldn't let her sleep.

She was diagnosed with PTSD which causes her to have insomnia in the end. The doctor explained that being in an abusive relationship had caused her to have a long term effect on her mind and she had realised it too. She was always a sensitive girl who used to be treated in the same way. She lived through the years in prison with the hope that one day she might be free and will finally live her life.

However, Ahad entered at that route taking her off the ground and pushing her limits to the point that she finally broke down. She was numb to the pain and she had been cutting herself but she doesn't feel anything. She had been either feeling everything or nothing.

Those were also the signs of being in an abusive relationship.

Emotional imbalanced.

She is scared to watch Ahad face again and it haunts her at nights. She had started to feel like she doesn't belong in this world and everything is closing down on her. She looks at the blade in her hand ready to draw another line when a soft knock stopped her in her track.

She hides the blade away covering herself properly opening the door to reveal Zain standing there with a cup of coffee. Zain and his mother had taken care of her the most and she couldn't be thankful. They have stopped Ahad from coming in when he was pushing his way into the house a couple of days back. She was hyperventilating when she heard his voice and it was when Zain called her name was when she came back to her senses.

"Ji". She said confused as she takes the cup of coffee and it was still 2AM

"Mere sath aao gi?". He asked softly as he steps back waiting for her (will you come with me)

"I did something wrong?". She asked anxiously scared that she might get punished like Ahad used to do

"Nahi nahi. Ap kub kuch galat karti hain. Mai toh bus chahta tha k hum garden mai chalein". Zain said hurriedly before she starts to panic again (no-no. You never do anything wrong. I just wanted us to go to the garden)

He had seen her have a panic attack at a mere sound of his file dropping. Now that she was away from Ahad all the signs of withdrawal were starting to show obviously she used to be scared before but now she was terrified of everything.

She gulped nodding as they walk outside with their coffee. She sits on one of the chair looking at the sky feeling her heart bleed as she thinks of everything.

"Kia howa hai, Zeenat?". He asked softly startling her as she turns to him confused, "Mujhe batao mai sub sahi kar duin ga". (What's wrong, Zeenat) (Tell me I will make everything right)

"Ap kuch nahi kar sakte". She said as she bites her lips to not cry, "I am dirty, worthless and the most pathetic person". (You cannot do anything)

"Is tarha kyun bol rahi ho?". Zain asked frowning, "Kisi nae kuch kaha hai?". (Why are you talking like this?) (Did someone say something)

"I have a child, Zain and I don't even have a future". She cried, "Ahad always told me I was weak and look at me I am weak. No one will ever want me".

He heard her weeping and he knows that she had been breaking down these past weeks.

"Zeenat". He said as she turns to look at him with her tear-filled eyes making his heart clench, "No one besides yourself knows what you truly deserve. People will say things just to see you break- they have fun doing that. But if you know what you need then no one can stop you. You are the strongest person I have seen so far and you have the power right in your hands. You have people who care for you around you too".

"I had everything planned before I was supposed to leave jail. I decided to visit my parents grave because I wasn't even able to see my mother one last time. Then, find myself a job and continue my studies. B-But t-hen h-he--".

She couldn't believe she was speaking about it again. She thought her life will end with the abuse and she will have to live in that house all her life.

"We can go visit your parents tomorrow then we can work on your studying". He said smiling lightly

"Really?". She asked unsurely, "I don't want to cause you trouble".

"You will never do that. Also, some of the workers from Ahad place came along asking for you. If you want to meet them then we can do that tomorrow as well?". He asked

She shakes her head, "Not yet. I was thinking of Aunt can tell Ahad about the baby. I don't want to see his face and I can't do anything else until the child is born".

"Ok". He said nodding as they sat in silence looking at the sky

The next day she felt a little better as she managed to sleep at last for a few hours. She hasn't spoken to anyone in these past two weeks beside her psychiatrist and it was refreshing at some parts. She enters the graveyard as her eyes start to brimming in tears when she near her mother grave.

"I-I am so sorry". She cried as her heart shatters, "I don't know what to do with my life. I try a path and I get scared of ruining it. I am scared of everyone and I am scared to stay in this marriage or the thought of marriage scares me. I remember you used to speak about having me beautifully dressed and whatnot but nothing of that sort happens. Don't I deserve love and respect?. Why is everyone snatching it from me?. What do I do?".

She exits the cemetery after a while sitting in his car as they drove past the beautiful scenery. He stopped the car at one of the beautiful view of the country walking outside without words knowing she will follow behind him.

And she did.

"This is beautiful". She gasped as she had not seen a view as good as this before, "How come I didn't know about this place?".

"You couldn't have after everything you went through". He said softly

She sighs sadly, "I have lost so much".

"Exactly! You have already lost so much does it make sense that you continue to lose more of yourself?. You have all the time in the world to set everything right and you have people who love and support you. You don't have to build fear around yourself instead build warmth that you can reach to when you are troubled". He spoke taking a deep breath, "And you have a new life coming to this world. How do you want the world for your child?. If you think you cannot be anything think of what you want your child to see you as. You are the strongest woman I have seen and I wish your child could learn that from you. You have come past everything and now you need to think that when your child looks at you as his world what world do you wish to show him?".

She nodded understanding as this time her heart doesn't hurt rather it felt at peace.

"Ammi must have told him". He said breaking the silence "And I think we should head back I don't want anything to happen there".

They walk back to the car driving away.

The moment they enter inside the house she was pulled in a strong grip that had her whimper instantly with the fear gripping onto her.

"You can't keep my child away from me". Ahad pleaded, "Please, I am sorry. Give me a chance and come with me. You have to come with me. You are my wife. I need you. I love you, Zeenat".

Manipulation.

She understands it as her psychiatrist had warned her about it in the session.

She rips her hand off his hold, "Your kid?. Do you know how he was conceived?". She snapped pushing on his chest, "Out of punishment for something I never did. What would you tell the child in future?".

"Please, Zeenat. I know you are angry and you have rights but--". Ahad started

"Leave". She said angrily, "Get out of my house. Right now".

"Your house?". Ahad said raged and she feels her heart thundering in fear as she moves back and Zain stands in front of her, "This is not YOUR house. Your house is my house. I am your husband and you are my wife. You are mine".

Zain pushed him out of the house locking the door as he walks inside to find her standing taking a deep breath.

"Are you ok?". He asked knowing she will say fine when she isn't

"I will be". She replied softly looking at him, "It's just a lot to take in".

He nodded understanding.

The next couple of days went by until she decided that she needs to make her life decision in her hands before anyone else thinks they own her. She starts to work in the restaurant again not wanting to burden anyone with herself. Since she will have to pay for the hospital visits and possibly delivery she decided it's best to save money. She already has a good amount from the few months she worked before and adding that her mother account was opened to her once again.

"You need to take care of your health". His mother said sitting beside her after they came back home from work, "Here eat these fruits".

She smiles looking at the different fruits and she has always been a lover for fruits.

"Thank you". She grins

"What do you have on your mind?". His mother asked

She shrugged, "Mostly I am thinking about future and baby. But, I have been thinking if I deserve love or not".

"Mohabbat toh sub ka haq hota hai per mohabbat se uper bhi ek cheez hai jo us ko mazboot karti hai". His mother said and she frowns,"Izzat. Izzat milna bohat muskil hai chahay woh mohabbat kitni mazboot kyun na ho agar izzat nahi toh us mohabbat ki umer lambi nahi hai. Tum izzat ka kyun nahi dekhti mohabbat khud a jaye gi sath".

(Love is everyone right to have however there is something bigger than love) (Respect. To be respected is very hard even if love is strong if there is no respect then love won't live too long. Find respect and love will come to you with it)

She stayed there thinking about her words. She never felt respected and perhaps she had lost her way in the world where love is shown as something attractive that she never consider how beautiful and precious respect is to someone.

Then, she realises something.

"Is everything ok?". She heard Zain voice as she turns around and her face turning red

"I-I-, yes". She stuttered as she tries to leave from there hurriedly

Zain frowns watching her leaving but at least she looks better than she had been in these few days. He prays every day that she finds her way and understands what she deserves because like his mother said even if they told her what she deserves she wouldn't be able to walk on the path they create for her for long.

After a couple of days, she went for her first checkup with his mother and thankfully everything was alright beside that her stress could cause some issues in the long run.

She feels bad that she went into depression and didn't think about her child safety so she decided that she wouldn't do anything to hurt her child.

She walks outside of the hospital when she finds Ahad standing there and her eyes widen.

"Please Zeenat. One chance is all I ask. Is it that hard?". Ahad asked

"Hard?. Imagine being beaten every single day and fear about it. Do you think it's easy?". She snapped angrily, "Leave me alone. You are causing me stress".

She tries to move away when he holds her hand dragging her as she screams for him to leave her. All the flashbacks from when she was hit came back to her and she fights harder against him.

But, it was of no use.

He took her back to his house and the moment she enters inside her heart dropped. Her own cries, screaming and those painful moments when her body used to scream at her in unbearable pain was all she heard. This place was not her home and all she had here was a life long-suffering and a scar so deep that it might take her whole life to heal.

"You are my wife and no one can do anything about it. I want you back no matter what. If you don't hear it nicely I will do it forcefully". Ahad said as he continues to drag her to their room

Her breathing hitched.

"N-No, don't do this to me. I can't stay here. I can't be here". She whimper when he starts to take steps towards her causing her heart to stop, "Stop. Don't come near me".

He holds her hand pulling her towards him as she hits his chest, "I will never let you go".

She pushes against him but he didn't let go instead he placed his lips to her and she feels her world crumble. He pushes her against the wall forcefully kissing her almost bruising her and she fights against him not wanting to feel his touch on her body as they only burned her. He holds her body in a tight grip and she feels the pain coursing through her body.

She fainted.

She groaned opening her eyes a little after she fainted and almost immediately she places her hand on her stomach worried that she might have hurt her baby. She hates that he didn't even care about the baby or her feelings either. She looks around to find herself still in his house and she didn't even have her phone on her. His mother had her bag when she was dragged and she was an older woman who tried stopping Ahad but never succeeded.

She sighs.

She walks downstairs to find Ahad sitting with bruises on his knuckles but she didn't ask him anything walking ahead to the kitchen since she feels the need to drink water.

"Wouldn't you cook something for your husband?". He asked entering behind her

She stiffened, "I thought you hated my cooking since every time you would throw it away and beat me for it".

Ahad groaned, "Why can't you just forget it?. I know I was wrong and I am trying why can't you?. Why can't you accept my love?".

Guilt card.

That was the best weapon to use against the person who you want to feel like they were wrong. Some of the traits of abusive relationships lead to guilt to make the victim not think clearly without having to deal with guilt.

"You have our baby. Think about the baby at least. How will you take care of him?. I can provide for both of your needs. I can keep you safe--". Ahad started

She slapped him.

"Safe?. In this house?". She said glaring at him, "I want to leave from here".

"You cannot leave". He said angrily

"I said let me leave". She screamed angrily

He looks taken back obviously not expecting her to have a strong comeback.

But, she was not the old naive woman.

"Fine". Ahad said sighing after a while as she went to change

"You should forgive him". She heard the worker voice as she looks at her, "My husband doesn't even apologise to me for hitting me neither he does what he is doing for you. He doesn't even bring money for the children to feed them. You will live a comfortable life in this house. Men are hyper and emotional you should give him one chance for your child".

She feels her anger growing by every minute but she remains quiet. It is because of woman thinking like that the men are in power. Or maybe those woman want other to suffer just like them.

Silently and painfully.

"What if it's a girl?. How will you handle her expenses?. It will be hard to carry a girl around without a father". The worder said and Ahad enters inside

She pushes herself to move behind Ahad who takes her back to Zain house. She immediately rushes inside the house with tears falling down her face in relief of being home.

"Zeenat". Zain said as his eyes landed on her and relief flooding in his distressed heart

"Zain, what happened to you?". She asked shocked as she finds his whole face covered in bruises

"It's nothing. Don't worry". He said smiling and wince when his face hurts

"Ahad did it". She stated as tears brimmed her eyes

"Don't worry about me. I am just glad you are here". He said sighing, "You should eat something. What should I make you?".

"I can--". She started

"No, please just rest. You look like you have been through hell". He said walking back to the kitchen

She nodded walking to the lounge looking at the pictures of Zain and his mother for a long time. They had a beautiful smile on their faces and the warmth spread within her.

"Here you go". He said placing the plate in her hand sitting at a distance from her with his own," Ammi went to sleep because she wasn't feeling well especially with the stress from Ahad".

"I am sorry". She mumbles

"Zeenat". He said looking at her as she turns to look at him, "I will always fight for you no matter what. You are an important part of our family and that will never change. I will protect my family in every way possible just don't ever think you are a burden to us. All I want is for you to find your way and walk on it".

"How do I do that?". She asked lowly

"If you can't find it on your own then pray for it. Prayers reach the sky faster and the way will come to you even faster". He said smiling, "Now eat".

She smiles nodding.

She feels her body heavy from pressure not from any wound but perhaps her heart was heavy from the pain.

"Beta". She heard her mother says and she looks up to find that she was laying in her mother lap

"Ammi". She cried wrapping her hands around her waist, "What do I do?".

"Do you feel the pain?". Her mother asked brushing her hair away

"Ji". She whimper

"It's not from beating. It's your heart that is carrying the pain and this pain will not heal unless you allow it to". Her mother said sadly, "This is what happens when you decide to go back to the place that hurt you in the first place. Maybe you feel at this time when you are young that it will not affect you but in the long run, when you start losing this youth you will realise the effects of it on you. Your heart will be sick and then there is no way you can cure it".

"What about my child?". She asked confused