The next day I awoke to a dim lit room. My eyes scanned around the room. I had a raging headache right about now. I rubbed my temples softly, and tried to sit up. I quickly stopped my movements when I felt a pair of arms holding me in position. I looked to my side and saw Jalonni sleeping peacefully. He tried to remove his hands from around me but he shuffled closer to me..

"Mmh... Where you going?" He asked, with his eyes still closed.

"I have to go to the bathroom." I said, hoping he wouldn't hurt me today.

"You did that last time and ran away." He says, and finally opens his eyes looking up at me.

"I couldn't run if I wanted to. I'm back for good Jalonni. You won." I said, defeated.

He smirked to himself. "And that's all she wrote..." He released his grip on me. "Go ahead." He directed me.

I threw the covers off of me, and turned to the side. My abdomen was in so much pain. I sat up slowly and made my way into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw the sixteen year old Mahyden who was always submissive and afraid. I'm nineteen and reverted back to my prior ways. God why can't I get it right? I know if people knew they would ask "Why wouldn't you tell?" that's just it. I did tell and nobody believed me. By me telling it got me cursed out, beat again, and raped again. I'm not telling anyone. Until people are in my shoes they can't judge my decisions.

I shook my thoughts of suicide out of my head. God has a plan for everything. He never puts more on you than you can bear. This load on me was about to break the camel's back. I have never been a religious person. I'm definitely not an atheist. I just don't have strong beliefs once it comes to religion. I turned on the faucet water, and splashed my face with the lukewarm liquid. I then commenced to put the paste on my toothbrush and brush my teeth.

Jalonni knocked on the door, and came in anyways. How polite! I continued brush my teeth. If it's one thing I learned with Lamont, Daddy Mac, and Jalonni was that I should only speak when spoken to. He went to the side, and started to release himself into the toilet. I spit out the last of the foam, and went back into my room. Soon after Jalonni followed.

"Come sit on the bed..." He patted the spot next to him. I hesitantly walked over to the bed and sat down a little ways from him. He looked and me and rolled his eyes. "I want to say sorry for yesterday. I'm not apologizing for beating your ass but for hurting you sexually."

I started to clean out my ears. Was this Jalonni that was talking to me? Was he really apologizing? I don't feel it's genuine but I'll take whatever I can get.

"Look man. You my brother. I may not treat you like it but I love you. I honestly do. You just kiss me off so bad. I'm not gonna say I won't beat your ass when you deserve it but I'll cut back on you. I feel like with you being back you can really help with the twins."

Nobody would ever believe me if I told them Jalonni apologized. I was grateful for it though. I often feel like I'm too forgiving. I want to hate Jalonni, and curse his name but I can't. I just can't. Emotionally and Physically he has torn me down at each step. I try to forget his torture towards me as much as I can so forgiving is the best step towards forgetting.

"Now I gotta get ready for work. Can I get a hug?" He asks, standing up.

I really didn't want to. I stood up and walked into his open arms. He hugged me tightly and started to talk.

"I told you I love your ass to death. I mean that too. You think about running I'll kill your ass before you can even step out of the state. I'm a police officer now, so I'll find you." He said, and pulled away from the hug smirking.

I look at him trying to not show my fear but I know he reads it. Once he exits out of my room, I rush to lock the door. I sighed and slid down to the ground. There is no use in crying about my life anymore. I'll have to accept that for now this is my life. After about ten minutes of sitting in the same spot thinking about life, I decided to get up. Yes, I was still in pain, but I've always been able to tolerate it. Right about now I could use some cocaine to satisfy me.

I have none so I'll just settle for the razor.

I walk into the bathroom and search for my razors. I couldn't find them anywhere. I went into my room, and searched high and low for them. I lifted up my bed, and there was a note from Jalonni. I picked it up and sat on the bed to read it.

I threw the note on the floor and ran my hands through my hair. I just wanted some type of release. I turned to my second love of life. Reading. I went downstairs to the bookshelf, and scanned for books that I haven't read. I came across a book that looked to be new. I picked it up and read over the title. I sat at the table, and opened it up to the preface. This story was based on a true account of a boy who was constantly abused and tortured by his mother. She had 3 kids but treated him as the black sheep of the family, and his dad was too afraid to stand up to her. Just by reading the preface I knew this book would relate to me.

As I began to read the book I found myself engaged more and more. The boy's mother beat him, bought his sibling new clothes and shoes and he had to wear the same thing to school for two weeks straight. She forced his to sleep in the garage on the floor. She wouldn't allow his to play with his sibling or any other child in the neighborhood for that matter. His mother also locked him in a bathroom with a bucket of ammonia and bleach. If you have ever been a room with those two mixtures you would know how strong the odor it. It burns your eyes and nose, and can kill you.

It was sickening to read about a mother doing that to her child in Real Life, but it was nice to see my life wasn't so bad. In the book the boy told his father, but instead of him helping his son he moved out, leaving him there. I hadn't realized how into the book I got. I didn't realize Jalonni was long gone, and I was reading until 1:30pm. I had made it to chapter 23, when the house phone started ringing. When the hell did we get that?

I folded my page in the book to remember my chapter. I slowly stood up, and rushed over to the ringing noise. I grabbed the phone off of the hood and placed it to my ear.

"Hello."

"Good afternoon, Is this the Zonilli residence?" The woman on the other lines asks.

"Yes it is." I respond.

"Hi. This is Nurse Rozanda Beady at Henry Ford Hospital. I'm calling in reference to a Mr. La'rey Zonilli."

My heart starts to beat fast. I knew this couldn't be good. I hate myself for even forgetting about him during my own sorrows. "What's going on?" I ask, nearly panicking.

"I've been trying to reach someone from this household pertaining to Mr. Zonilli. He was adamant about not calling here but because he is a minor someone 18 or older has to come and sign his discharge papers for him to leave." She says, sweetly.

"U-Um yes. I understand." I say to hide my joy. I'm glad he's okay. At least to my knowledge. "I will be down there soon."

"I look forward to seeing you. Bring a photo I.D as well." She informs me.

"Okay..." I say, and wait until she hangs up.

I hang up the phone and rush up to my room. I rush into my closet to slide on some old clothes but to my surprise I look around, and see all new clothes hanging up. This was my first time viewing this stuff. I looked over all of the new clothes, and started to view the sizes. I was in awe raise everything was my exact size. The tags were still on the clothes and shoes. I shook out of my trace and threw on this Adidas jogger outfit that was in there. It was blue and yellow. I slid on the matching slides, and prepared leave the house. I have no keys, so I unlocked the backdoor to be able to get back in. I left out of the house, locked the door, and made my way to the bus stop stop.

I was growing impatient, but the bus pulled up 10 minutes later. I paid my fare and took a seat. I sat back in my seat and watched as the bus drove past many things that I had missed. I left four years ago when I was sixteen. It feels so weird being back in the same place. I only came back for my brothers. I was always their keeper. Soon after we pulled up to the hospital. I rung the bell in order to get off of the bus. I stare up at the familiar medical center that I have seen oh so many times. I proceed to walk inside the dastardly place. I walk straight to the receptionist desk. It was a small line, but I got up to the window with no problem.

"Hi. I want to know where to find out about inpatients." I tell the nurse.

"Get on the elevator and go up to the fourth floor. Once you get off make a right then a left. You'll come across some double doors and you just go through those to see the receptionist of that floor."

"Thanks." I smile, and rush to an elevator.

I stood there waiting impatiently for the bell to ding. Once it finally opened I rush inside. A man was running towards the elevator but I didn't hold the doors. He might've been the next person that would rape me. I pressed the four on the elevator and waited to arrive on the floor. Once the doors opened I followed the nurse's directions and found my way toward the receptionist desk. I slowly walked up to the desk. The woman behind the desk was writing some things down. I stood there and cleared my throat.

She finally looked up at me, and her eyes grew wide. "Oh my god."

I looked around awkwardly. "Is there something on my face?"

"No..." She stands up and comes from around the desk. "Look at you. You've grown up so much." She says, grabbing my shoulders examining me.

"Would it be rude of me to ask who you are?" I chuckle, nervously.

"Not at all. I'm Rozanda Beady. I looked after you multiple times at this hospital. I'm currently looking over your brother." She explains.

"Now I remember you!" I exclaim.

"Oh my gosh. Where were you. Everyone thought you were dead from the news reports." She says.

"I'll tell you everything you need to know eventually. Right now may I see my brother?" I ask.

"I'm sorry sure. He's in room 1406. He's kinda jumpy for some reason be careful when entering. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you." She smiles.

I smiled back and walked to his room. I read the plaques with numbers on them as I walked. I finally saw 1405, then 1406. I stopped in front of the door and waited. This was the moment. I have a lot of explaining to do especially because I know he's so strong willed now. I take a deep breath and knock on the door. After a few moments I hear shuffling in the room. I know he's probably getting himself together. After 6 seconds I finally open the door, and enter.

"H-Hey Rey...."

He stands up from his spot on the bed. "Mahyden?"