†Mahyden P.O.V†

"Mahyden..." Faizon says.

"Mhm..." I mumble and nod.

"Stop playing... Who is this?" Faizon snaps.

"Faizon calm down." I plead. "Just listen..."

"You listen! I don't know how you got this phone or why you called with these lies! It's not funny to call someone and talk about their DEAD brother that way. This can't be Mahyden he wouldn't be gone that long without calling or coming home. He would never do that!"

"Dottie listen." I start to cry. I deserve it.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" He yells and I jump. "Nobody deserves to call me that. You have no respect."

"July 4th..." I manage to say to him.

"What?" He snaps back.

"Your birthday is July 4th along with La'rey. Your favorite color is Turquoise. La'rey's favorite color is Black. Your favorite meal is Lasagna with garlic bread. You have a mole on your lower left thigh. La'rey and your middle name is Jaymar. Last but not least when you were younger I would read Good Night Moon to you both as we fell asleep."

The lines got fairly quiet on his end. I could hear light sniffles coming through the phone.

I hear someone whisper. "It's okay..." through the phone. I knew it was Carter comforting him.

"Faizon please say something." I call out.

"Mahyden..." He cries into the phone.

"Hey Bud..." I smile but it quickly turns into a frown.

"Why did you leave Mahyden? How could you? I thought you loved us. Was I bad? Could you not handle taking care of us anymore? I'm sorry for whatever I did Mahyden. I'm sorry."

I let my tears fall while I sobbed silently. I knew I needed to do this. This was about to be an emotional call. Hell, it already was.

"Stop apologizing Fai. You weren't bad or anything of the sort. I loved you and La'rey both. You were too young to understand why I had to get away, but it still wasn't right. I've been going through hell without you guys."

"You hate us..." He sniffles.

"No I don't." I shake my head.

"Yes you do. You left us here with Jalonni. You don't know what he has done to us and put us through. He put La'rey in the hospital and I can't go see him. He hurts me Mahyden not sexually but emotionally. All I want is to be loved like he loves La'rey. Everyone hates me." He says, and it honestly crushes my heart.

"Stop it Faizon. I love you. I'm coming back soon. I just have to get myself together. I never meant to leave you guys. As soon as I got myself together I was gonna come back for you two. I didn't have it in me to fight and I still don't. I've been to hell and stared into the devil's eyes Faizon. Me coming back now would cause a lot of turmoil for anyone."

People just don't understand the extent of Jalonni's rage. He always gets what he wants. It was easy for him to let his friends hurt me and leave me for dead. He'll kill me within the blink of an eye. He was even raping me with my dad in the room right next to us. He's ruthless. Until you are in my shoes no one can judge me. If I fight back, he'll win.

"Mahyden I miss you. I just... I just want my big brother back. I don't know how long I can go on. I'll run away just like you did." He says, that's the schizophrenia talking.

"No Faizon. You're safe where you are. I'll figure it out. I just want you and La'rey's forgiveness. I fucked up. I know I fucked up. I'm going to protect you guys just give me time."

"I love you Mahyden!"

It warms my heart even under these circumstances. "I love you too Faizon and La'rey too. I know I can't make up for my absence but I'll try to do better."

"Can you call me everyday?" He asks.

"I'll try..." I respond honestly. "I promise I'll try."

"Goodnight Faizon."

"Good night Hyden..."

I hang up the phone and just stare at the blinking screen. I'm glad he's okay. I have a lot of wrongs to right but just hearing him forgive me was all I needed. I know that if La'rey is the outspoken one now he'll have a harder time accepting me back. I'm prepared to fight for it though. Jalonni not letting Faizon be able to go see La'rey is awful. It's typical behavior though. I just hope Theo can get me back in time.

Once I get myself together I walk back into the room. Theo is laying on the bed asleep. I creep over to him, and sit his phone onto the nightstand. He shuffles in his sleep, moving his head partially. I climb on top of him, and sat on his groin. I start to twirl my bios down on him. I lean down and kiss his neck lightly.

"Mmm." He opens his eyes. "What are you doing? How did the call go?" He asks.

"It went well." I answer back, still kissing his neck.

"Mahyden stop..." He sits up with me still on his lap. "As much as I want to ravish you right now... I know you're still hurting. If I make love to you right now, you'll crumble."

"Theo all this time I've been forced to have sex. It was never on my terms. This time it is. I want you. I want our first time to be now."

He sits back and stares at me intensely. "Go get cleaned up. When you come out the bathroom I'll have the whole get up for you. This is going to be your real first time. Fuck everybody else." He says.

I nod and get off of him. I grab some clean underwear that he bought me, and one of his big shirts. He throws me a towel, and I walk into the bathroom.

"Take your time. It's no rush. I'll be waiting for you." He says closing the bathroom door for me.

I turn on the bathwater. I go over to the sink and pour some of the bath bubbles into the tub. I wanted my water to be nice and hot. I did need a bath. Before I started to strip I stood in the mirror and looked at myself. I'm weak. Mentally and Physically. Things could be so different if I just buck up and get a back bone. I can't do it. I'm terrified of the people that chose to take me in, and surround themselves around me.

Theo peeks in and hands me a bag. I take the bag from him and he exits back out. I look inside the bag and it's a toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash. I laugh at his notion. I get what he's trying to say and I agree. My breath hasn't been so fresh. That was a nice way of telling me.

I place the bag on the sink, and turn my bathwater off. I slip off my clothes, and step one foot into the water. It was nice and hot just like I liked it. I slowly eased my other foot into the water, and slid down. I let my tenseness go, and became one with the water. I shut my eyes and thought back to the last conversation my mother had with me and Jalonni before she departed.

"Mahyden and Jalonni come sit with Mama..." She said weakly, laying in the hospital bed.

Jalonni grabs my hand and we walk over to the bed. We hoist ourselves up.onto the bed with her. I look into her dying eyes. It was a horrible moment to see my mommy dying.

"You both know I love you right? " She asks.

Jalonni and I both nod.

"You mommy is dying babies. I'm drifting away and I need to tell you some things."

"What is dying Mommy?" I ask, innocently.

Jalonni mushes my face. "You're so stupid."

Mom looks at him with hurt in her eyes. "Stop it Jalonni. Mahyden you are not stupid. You can smarter than anyone else if you believe you can. Nobody can take that from you."

I nod and snuggle up to her.

"You mom's health has been deteriorating since your oldest brother died. I couldn't have anymore babies. Jalonni you're my baby but you were carried by a surrogate mother."

Jalonni just looks at her confused. Even I didn't understand.

"Then Mahyden and the twins came. I was so happy God gave me another chance..." She sighs and pauses to catch her breath. "Jalonni you were always different and you're always going to be. I don't know where I went wrong with you. Just know no matter what I love you baby."

Jalonni buries his face in the crook of her neck and starts to cry. He could comprehend what she was saying more than I could.

"Stop crying Jalonni." She wipes his tears. "You have to be strong for your brothers. Oh how I wish I had a girl." She chuckles briefly. "Protect Mahyden Jalonni. Love him and protect him. In the end all you have is each other."

He nods in understanding.

"Mahyden..." She grooms my hair. "My baby... Look at mama..."

I look up into her eyes again.

"You're gonna go through a lot of different trials in your life. I already know you're different from others. I love you baby boy. Jalonni is going to protect you, and you should protect Jalonni. That's my only wish from you two. As for Faizon and La'rey they're babies so they'll be lost when they grow up. Guide the way for them. Show them the multiple family photos we all have. Don't let them forget their mama."

I nod. I guess I got the gist of what she was saying at the time.

Shortly after, I dozed off. When I awoke again Jalonni and Dad were crying, and we were in the lobby. All dad kept saying was.. "She's gone..."

I opened my eyes and tear had streamed down my face. I realized why I let Jalonni get away with so much. I was protecting him in a way. I have always said I still loved Jalonni despite his treatment towards me. He is my brother regardless. I refused to tell on him or get help because I just wanted to keep our family together in one piece. Call me crazy but that's who I am.

I bathe up and get myself together. I scrub my skin, and try to scrub the filth over the years I have felt. Once I get good and clean. I let the water out, and get out of the tub. I walk over to the sink and brush my teeth for three minutes. Then , I gargle with then mouthwash. Afterwards, I dry myself off and put on my Johnson & Johnson lotion. I place on my clothes, and exit the bathroom.

When I walk back into the room I am amazed at the scenery. Theo dimmed the lights had Chris Brown x Wet The Bed playing. There were roses on the bed, strawberries and chocolate on the nightstand, and the other things necessary for our love making session.

He's laying back on the bed with only his robe on. I smile brightly as I walk over to the bed.

"There is a smile I haven't seen in years." He chuckles, moving my hands away from my face. "Show me those pretty teeth." He orders.

During my journey to self discovery I had totally forgotten that I had straight, pretty, white teeth. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw someone who wasn't worth anything special. Theo is saying all the right things to me right now.

He holds his hand out. I grab ahold of his hand and he pulls me closer to him. I straddle his lap and he holds me in his arms.

"I waited so long for this Mahyden..."

"Me too..." I smile.

He looks up and we kiss. I can honestly say I know what people mean when they say they felt fireworks. When his lips touched mines it sent a rush of energy through my body. He wasn't taking advantage of me, he wasn't rushing, he was being gentle and sweet.

He picked up one of the strawberries and swirled it around in the chocolate. He removed the strawberry and lifted it up to my mouth. He rubbed the chocolate coating around my lips, and I opened them to bite.

"Mmm." I moaned as I chewed.

He lifted up and kissed me. He suckled on my lips cleaning off all of the coating. I leaned my head back, yearning for him to taste my neck. He trailed to the side and sicked on my passion spot. I pushed him back to kiss him once more.

"I'm ready..."