Waking up in this bed next him was always a bummer. Whenever dad leaves he tells him he's the man of the house. Him being the oldest in the house, he gets the urge to assert dominance, and do crazy things. I have to stay to myself or else HE gets angry. The HE I'm referring to is my brother Jalonni. He implements terror into me, and my two little brother Faizon and La'rey. He never touches them as long as I am in compliance. It all started when I was in 6th grade, and he was in 8th..

-----

One day dad had to leave to go on base for 2 weeks. He had paid up all the bills, and made sure we had cash, and food in the house. We knew to never let anyone know an adult wasn't home with us.

His friend came over that night, and because I knew him, I was allowed to stay with them during the sleepover. We all played Madden, and Saw on the wii, his friend and I wrestled constantly. As the night progressed, we got tired, and ended up falling asleep on the sofa and floor.

I made a pallet on the floor, and got comfortable. As I was sleeping I felt someone slide into my pallet behind me, grabbing me by the waist, and pulling me closer. I could feel the tent in his pants, and I immediately tensed up.

He slid his hands into my pajamas, and started to rub my butt and penis. I felt uncomfortable, but when I tried to get up he held me tighter, and whispered in my ear. "I don't want you wrestling with him again.." I instantly realized this was my brother's voice. Why was he doing this to me?

-----

Waking up this morning. I look to my right, and Jalonni is in my bed. I'm too sore to move because of the beating I endured last night. He beats me then apologizes hours later. Every time he goes crazy my little brothers are there to witness it. I take all the beatings just so they wouldn't have to. I got beat because I came in the house later from a party that he didn't want me going to. I despise him so much. You're a senior, it isn't hard to find some tail your age, so why me? Your own flesh and blood. This was all that ran through my mind.

"It's time for you to go to school.." he says shifting his head to face me.

"I know..." I respond briefly.

"I really don't want to go. Do you want to stay home with me?" he asks.

That was definitely not going to happen.

"No.. I have tests today." I explain as I slowly get up from the bed.

"You don't ever want to spend time with your nigga!" He says pushing himself up to sit up in the wall.

What the hell type of world does he live in?

"Can you stop you are my brother not my nigga...!" I shout back. I instantly widen my eyes at how I just talked to him.

"Come here." he motions me.

"No. Please." I whimper backing into a wall.

He jumps off the bed quickly, and grabs me by my neck. "If you ever talk to me like that again, I'll fuck you up.. Nobody and I mean NOBODY is going to care for you like me boy." He tries to control his rage, but I'm hoping he doesn't strike me.

"I'm sorry I swear." I claw at his arm for him to release his grip on me.

"Better be..." He says releasing my neck.

"Go get dressed..." He leaves my room, and I scurry to lock the door.

Thank goodness my brothers are at my aunts for the next two days. They don't have to see me suffer for a minute.

----

We pull up to the school, and Jalonni parks the car. I quickly take off my seatbelt to hurry into the building, but I am quickly stopped by Jalonni.

"Wait a minute. Let me talk to you." he holds my arm as I sit back in the seat. "You know the rules. We walk in together, You're my brother everyone knows not to fuck with you, literally because your mines. If I see you talking to anybody with that flirty shit you do I'm beating the dude ass, and yours." He points his index finger in my face as I flinch. "Understood?"

I just simply nod my head.

We get out of the car, and walk into the building. He gives me the notion to go my own way, and I do just that. I hurry to my locker, and put my combination in, gathering my books for class. My friend Synthia walks up.

"Hey darling." Syn says.

I smile at her eagerness. "Why so happy?" I ask with my curiosity piqued..

"Because Ryan Hostler just asked me out." She jumps and down excitedly.

"And... Guess what?" she says nudging me.

"What?" I respond nonchalantly looking into my locker.

"His little brother wants to get with you.." she smiles and I blush.

"I don't think that's a good idea sis." I speak as Jalonni walks by, and winks at me.

"Why not?" Her facial expression turned serious.

"I don't think I'm ready." I lie.

"Well, when you are... He's available. Beside we're tenth graders. Who really has dibs on us?" She places her hand on her hip.

Only if she knew.

"I'll consider that crazy..." I laugh.

"Do that." she smiles and walks off.

I begin the walk to my regularly scheduled class for first period. As I am walking I bump into Theo. He's a boy I used to talk to, but quickly cut off because of Jalonni.

"My bad yo..." He says picking up my books, and looking up at me. "Mahyden... I guess you're done avoiding me huh?" He says, handing me my books.

"Never was but I do have to go." I try to rush around him.

"Class doesn't start for 15 minutes.." He grabs my arm gently. "Let's go eat breakfast."

"I don't think I shou--"

"Come on." he pulls me by my arms towards the cafeteria, and I instantly get nervous, what if Jalonni sees us? "Chicken biscuit and apple juice please." Theo tells the Cafeteria woman.

"For you?" she asks.

"Same thing I guess." I look over at Theo and he smiles. I look away trying not to blush at his cuteness. I grab my tray, and punch in my lunch number. I grab my milk and juice, and I follow Theo to a table. Once we sit, I try to relax my mind because Jalonni can't hurt me in school.

I take a bite of my biscuit, and I wipe the corners of my lips. I look up at Theo who is grinning at me behind his hand. "What.." I ask after I swallow.

"Nothing. You're adorable when you eat.." he says, and my heart flutters.

"Thanks..." I respond appreciatively.

"Do you still have that twitch?' he asks.

"Yeah..." I look away in embarrassment.

"I never knew why you did that..." he says.

The twitch he is referring to is the twitch I have in my eye. One day during one of my beatings Jalonni slapped me in the face repeatedly with a wooden ruler. My left eye was twitching rapidly, and it never went away. Every time I get scared, or nervous, I twitch. I have really been through a lot.

"Some things happened as a child, and yeah I really don't want to talk about that..." I say trying to change the subject.

"Okay how have you be--" He starts as Jalonni sits down.

"You should've told me you were coming to breakfast I would stayed here with y'all." He says as he moves his hand under the table and grabs my thigh squeezing it aggressively.

I gasp but he shoots me a look. I look over towards Theo who is looking lost. "I should get to class." I say as I try to wiggle a loose from Jalonni's grip. He releases and I quickly get up, grabbing my tray, throw it away, looking back at Theo. God I wish he wouldn't have to see me like this.

I walk into my class, and I find my regular seat in the middle of the class. I'm very shy and quiet, but no one tries me because of me being Jalonni's little brother. I hate being related to him, and I hated being compared to have his genetics. The teacher comes in, and he starts to prompt us for our lesson. I actually enjoy being in school because my life at home is not where I want to be. I'm a geek at heart.

"You guys know we are doing group projects this week." Mr. Gains says.

"Yes." The class all says together. I just stare.

"I can either pair you up or you can pick your partner but you will not be with your friends. I want you to venture out and talk to people for those of you who do.... Is that understood?" He asks the class

"Yes." The class says.

"I guess.." I mumble.

"Get to it... Your rubrics are on the desk." He goes to his desk and sits down.

Everyone in the class starts to get up, and find a partner. I just sat in my usual spot. "Mr.Zonilli why haven't you moved?" Mr. Gains asks.

"Everyone has found a partner.." I respond.

"I haven't.." Some random dude in the background says

I turn around to see who it was. It was a dark skinned dude, he had a tattoo on his arm, He wore glasses, but he still had that thug appeal, he was buff but not too bulky. I just examined him, and turned back around. "Ahh Mr. Davison. Come pair up with Mr. Zonilli." He says pointing towards my direction.

The boy got up, and began walking towards my desk, I instantly get nervous because I've never spoken to him or really anyone in this class. Once he gets close I quickly sit up, and open my text book. He takes the desk and turns it to face me. I don't look up, and I just focus on the book.

"Yo..." He knocks on the desk and I look up. "Do you have the rubric?" he asks. He has a very deep voice which was sexy to me.

"No I didn't grab one." I say turning to stand up.

"I got you..." He gets up, and walks to get the rubric. I look over his chiseled body, and I stop once I saw his pants sagging. He was wearing briefs, so I could see the crease perfectly over his crack. I bit my bottom lip, and quickly stopped once I noticed he was walking back towards me. I watched as he handed me the paper, and sat down. "So when do you want to start on this?" He asks.

I shrug. "Whenever is fine" I respond

"Hows about tomorrow night?" He asks.

I hesitate because I know I have to clear it with Jalonni. "That's coolm" I foolishly answer.

"Alright cool." For the rest of the period we talked, and got each others numbers to meet up for the project.

The bell rings, and it's time to go to second period. I walk to my locker and Jalonni is already waiting for me. I roll my eyes at the sight of him, and I walk past him not even trying to make eye contact. I put my combination in, and he leans over into my locker and whispers to me.

"You think you slick pulling lil shit in public, but I got something for your misbehaving ass." he says and my heart starts beating fast. I shut my locker and head to my next class. I guess it's time to prepare myself for whatever may come.