I lay back on the exam table, watching the screen as the tech rubs the wand over my stomach.

“Here the face and the hands.”

She points at the screen and I watch in awe. Just because I don’t want to experience the joys of motherhood right now doesn’t mean I’m still not fascinated by the fact that my body can grow another human inside of it.

The baby has it’s hands covering it’s face.

“Your baby is shy today.”

Yeah. I can tell that.

I smile at my little mental sarcastic comment. Andy is watching the screen, even more mesmerized than I am. I can see tears in her eyes but she quickly blinks them away.

“Would you like to find out the gender today?”

Andy and I answer at the same time.

“Yes!”

“No.”

She looks disappointed and that plays with my emotions. After I think it over for a second, I turn to the technician.

“Can you write down the gender and give it to me?”

“I’ll print out a few ultrasound photographs for you. Would that be alright?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

I look at Andy, pointing a finger at her.

“I’ll know the gender, but you won’t. Maybe I’ll have a gender reveal where you’ll find out. For now, I’m the only one who gets to know the gender outside from the technician. Got it?”

She doesn’t hide her disappointment and hurt. She also doesn’t bother arguing. The technician makes a few notes and draws a circle on the larger image she printed out before sliding it into a manila envelope.