《Pipe Dream || Timothée Chalamet》29
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It's been two months. Two months since Timothée admitted that he cheated on me with Lily. Two months since I've seen or talked to him. Two months of me crying at least once everyday.
For about a month after he told me, Timmy texted and called me everyday, but I'm guessing he gave up due to his calls being declined and his texts being ignored. Sometimes I wish he would still try to reach out to me, but I would've given up if I were him too.
The only time I leave my apartment now is to go to school and to photo shoots. Sometimes I wish I didn't even have to do shoots but I desperately need the money.
Timothée has kept himself busy in the light. He's been getting a lot of buzz and he has 2 new movies out. I can't help but keep up with him and how successful he's becoming. I really want to see his new movies but Ashley and Eden think that it's a bad idea. Which it probably is.
All my social media's have been deleted. It hurt me to see all the posts about Timothée's up and coming success. It just proved that he was doing fine without me.
It's almost spring break and I decided that I was going to go back home to Maine for the break. The weather should good and it'll be nice to get out of the city for a little.
It's crazy to think that only a few months ago I was dreading going back to Maine because the city felt like my home but now I'm excited to go back to Maine. I'm realizing that the city probably wasn't the thing that felt like home. It was Timmy. Now I just don't have a home.
I'm pretty sure everyone knows or suspects that Timmy and I are no longer together, but just not why. And it wasn't my place to expose why. As much as I wish I could go and tell everyone how horrible and disgusting he is, I can't. I can't because it will hurt him and I will never be able to hurt the people I love.
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"Alright Addy, it's time you get your sad ass up and get out for the day" Ashley beams as she enters into the room.
I shake my head, but before I can even protest, she rips my blankets off of my body and hands me an outfit. "Come on, just a nice day out with Eden and I, please" she begs in a tone that lets me know I won't be winning this argument. "And then we can come back here and watch sappy love movies and get drunk"
My mind runs through my excuses of why I can't leave but all of them have been used. "Fine" I sigh in defeat. "As long as I get to pick the movie"
"Okay it's a deal" she smiles at me as I force my body up and grab the outfit she picked out for me and began to get ready.
—————
"Post it Adeline, show him that your doing perfectly fine without him" Eden encourages me as I stare at the photos we had taken as we ate lunch.
I shake my head. "Why would I lie?" I ask causing Ashley to shoot me a glare.
I haven't even been able to look at myself in a mirror for the past two months, much less have enough confidence to pose for instagram pictures.
"You look hot, just post it" Ashley now encourages me as I finally give in.
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dish of the day...
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the queen is back!!
what happened with you and Timmy?
I'm so glad timmy dropped your ass
who the fuck is Timmy?
you look stunning, miss you so much
can y'all mind your business for one second
—————
I feel the warm tears sting my cheek as the end credits of La La Land roll on my laptop.
Eden, Ashley, and I are all snuggled in my bed watching sappy romance movies and drinking way to much alcohol that Ashley got by flirting with the man at the liquor store so he wouldn't look too hard at her fake I.D.
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"I think I'm ready for bed" Ashley slurs as she rolls out of bed, Eden following right behind her.
As they both crawl into their own beds I shut my computer down and scroll through my phone.
Similar to every other night, I end up on my camera roll, scrolling through pictures of Timmy, my heart breaking a little more with each swipe.
These pictures always hurt a little extra when I'm drunk. I feel a warm tear slide down my cheek as I scroll through the pictures.
After a little while of crying and reminiscing, I quietly slip out of my bed and pull a hoodie on over my t-shirt as well as a pair of shoes.
I sneak through the door, trying not to wake up the two sleeping girls. I make my way out of my dorm building and down the sidewalk. A slight drizzle causes me to pull my hoodie up over my head as I aimlessly walk.
After walking for a bit I pass by Insomnia Cookies, Timmy's favorite cookie shop. I smile remembering the time he took me here in the early hours of the morning when I couldn't sleep.
I find myself walking into the shop as my nose is greeted with the amazing aroma of fresh cookies. I walk up to the counter and tell the worker what I would like.
After she hands me the bag of my cookies, I take a seat at a table and mindlessly eat while I scroll through Instagram, trying to ignore the hundreds of comments about Timothée.
I finish my second cookie, and as I'm about to move onto my third, the door to the shop opens catching my attention.
My heart sinks into my stomach at the person staring back at me.
Timothée
I quickly grab the bag with my last cookie in it, and try to gather my wallet and keys.
"Adeline" he breaths out, frozen in his tracks. The sound of his voice makes my heart sting.
Before he could say anything else I exit the store with my head down to hide the fresh tears streaming down my face.
I try to push the image of him out of my head as I walk back to my dorm. The way he looked so put together in just some sweatpants and a hoodie. The way his hair has grown since I last saw him. The way he was doing so good without me.
The second I enter my dorm room I breakdown on the floor, sobs escaping my mouth, not caring about waking up my roommates.
Ashley jolts up from her slumber and flips on her lamp. "What the fuck happened?" She groans as her eyes adjust to the light, her words awakening Eden.
I bring my knees up to my chest as I let out my cries into the fabric of my sweats. I try to catch my breath as Eden sits down beside me, holding me in her arms. "I saw Timmy" I hiccup, my heart breaking at the thought.
"Where?" Eden gasps, her eyes filling with concern.
"Insomnia cookies" I sniffle with a small laugh. "Of all fucking places"
"It just hurts to see him doing so good without me" I elaborate as I try to control my tears.
Ashley shakes her head slightly. "You don't know that, he could be doing just as bad as you but hiding it better"
I laugh at her backhanded statement as Eden nods in agreement. "Ashley's right, I mean why else would he be getting cookies at 1am"
I laugh some more as my tears stop and my breathing is controlled again, but the image of the boy that stood in front of me not even an hour ago still resonates in my mind.
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