warning: this chapter includes some content that some may find triggering

I take one more look in the mirror as I sigh at my tired reflection.

I got back to New York yesterday and my mind can't seem to escape the thought of Timothée. He asked to get lunch with me today to 'talk', which was the culprit of my lack of sleep last night.

My mind spirals at the fact that I know this conversation will have to do with Lily. Why can't she just go away?

There's a knock on the door, pulling me from my thoughts. I open the door to reveal a smiling Timothée. "Hi" I smile lightly, hoping he can't see how nervous I am.

"Hi Addy" he smiles back, wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing his lips against mine.

At first I'm taken aback by this, due to the awkward nature of the past few days, but almost instantly my lips move along with his.

I unfortunately break the kiss, not wanting to risk anyone seeing us. "I guess you missed me?" I laugh as he nods eagerly.

We get on our way, walking down the street hand and hand. I'm not sure where we're going tonight but I feel a lot better about the circumstances considering the kiss we just shared.

We walk a little longer than what I'm used to until we end up in the front of an extremely fancy restaurant.

We make our way inside and Timothée tells the host that he had a reservation. The host then leads us to a table a right next to a stage.

We politely thank her and sit down. "This place is really fancy" I giggle at him from across the table.

"It's the best Italian food in all of New York" he grins at me.

After the waitress comes over and takes our drink order I can feel the tension rising.

"So obviously there's stuff we need to talk about" Timmy begins causing my heart to drop and speed up all at the same time. "And before you can say anything I just want to tell you that I was wrong. And I'm sorry. I talked to Lily and told her that I want nothing to do with her and to stay away" he speaks quickly, sounding like he's out of breath.

All I can do is smile at him as my heart flutters. Not to sound like a total bitch but hearing that he cut Lily off completely makes me so internally happy.

"Thank you Timmy" I smile at me, taking his hands in like from across the table.

The waitress soon comes back with our drinks and takes our food order as a band makes their way to the stage. I study them for a little until I realize why they look familiar.

They were the band that was playing the night that Timmy and I went to dinner with the Hammers.

My smile widens as I look at Timothée, only to see that he's already been looking at me. "This is the band from when I met Armie and Elizabeth"

"I know" he whispers with a smile.

He really took me to an overly fancy restaurant to spend way more money than he should on a meal, just because he knew how much I enjoyed the band.

Butterflies to the max

—————

Sexual Tension.

That's the only way to describe this night so far. All throughout dinner I could feel Timothée undressing me with his eyes and even on the walk back to his apartment I could feel the tension thickening.

The second the elevator doors shut Timothée had backed me against the wall and his lips were roaming my neck. "Aren't there cameras in here" I laugh slightly to cover my moan that was about to escape.

Timothée kisses his way back to my lips and gives me a shrug. "Lets give them a show" he winks, pressing his lips to mine.

I laugh into the kiss as the elevator dings and the doors open, signaling our arrival to his floor.

Timmy grabs my hand and leads me out of the elevator, walking rather quickly to his door.

He fumbles with the lock, eventually opening the door and pulling us inside.

As the door closes, he pushes my body up against it his hands roaming my figure as our lips battle.

I tangle my hands in his hair, earning a slight moan from his mouth, causing my heart to beat even faster.

"Jump" he whispers into the kiss and I do as I'm told, wrapping my legs around his waist as he places his hands on my bum for support.

He carries us into his bedroom and gently places me down on his bed. I bite down on my bottom lip as he slowly unbuttons his shirt.

Once he discarded his shirt he climbs on top of me, unbuttoning my t-shirt dress I had worn for the night.

Once he's completely unbuttoned the dress, he slips out from under me and takes a minute to admire my almost completely naked body. His stare causes my body to heat up and my mind to begin racing.

No boy has ever seen me like this, much less touched me in the way that Timothée has in mind for tonight. I've never allowed myself to be this vulnerable with a boy because of what happened so many years ago.

Timothée places a kiss on my stomach and begins kissing his way all the way down to the hem of my underwear.

Images of the one time I've ever been touched like this before shoot through my mind, causing my heart to jolt.

Adeline stop. Your fine.

The boy in front of my hooks his fingers around the sides of my underwear and just as he begins to pull it down I jump.

"Stop please stop" I spazz, sitting up as Timothée looks at me wide eyed. I bring my knees to my chest as I try to control my breathing.

"Addy I'm so sorry I-" Timmy begins to apologize but I shake my head.

"You didn't do anything wrong, it's me, I'm sorry" I speak, keeping my eyes fixed on his comforter.

"Have you never gotten ea-" he begins to speak again.

"Nope" I respond quickly, not wanting to endure the uncomfortable topic of being eaten out. I almost gag at the terminology.

"Have you ever given-"

"Nope" I finally raise my eyes to meet his.

Confusion is written all in his expression. "If I tell you a secret, do you promise not to tell anyone?" I ask, wondering why I'm choosing to share this with him.

He nods, handing me his shirt. I slip the fabric over my body and pull my knees back up to my chest.

"I was assaulted when I was 13" I breathe out shakily. "My mom has brought some guy home and he came into my room once she was asleep and touched me in horrible ways"

My eyes dart back down to the comforter, not being able to look at him as I speak. "I can't be touched without freaking out and remembering" I shake my head as I feel my tears threatening to spill. "I can't even bare to look at myself sometimes" I whisper as the tears make their way down my cheeks.

I feel a pair of arms wrap around my body, sending warmth though my spine. "I never would have thought, I'm so sorry"

I shake my head again. "Your the only person who knows this happened. Not even my mom knows" tears continue to spill. "I told myself that is wasn't a big deal so I wouldn't realize how bad it was"

"It is a big deal, no one deserves to go through that" he sympathetically looked at me.

"I'm sorry this is all so sudden I've just never been able to talk about these feelings" I sniffle, watching the tears splatter on the bed.

Timothée places a hand on my knee and lifts my chin up, my eyes meeting his. "You can always talk to me, no matter what"

"Thank you" I cry some more, wrapping my arms around him, reconnecting our embrace. "I want to get better. I want to be able to be touched and not freak out. I want to feel like a normal human" I mumble into his chest.

Silence fills the room for a few minutes as he hold me in his embrace. "Thank you for letting me talk to you" I sigh, pulling away from the hug, wiping my tears. "I promise I'll try to get better, I know you have needs and it's not fai-" I begin to ramble but Timmy cuts me off.

"Adeline, if you looked me in my eyes right now and told me you never wanted to have sex with me, that wouldn't change a single thing" he says seriously, staring into my eyes. "I can wait as long as you need"

And with that, my lips crashed into his.