In some ways it's unbelievable. Had anyone suggested it was possible to so thoroughly ignore and avoid someone you lived with, I'd have scoffed at the notion. Paige's dedication to staying away from the house would have been impressive if it hadn't been so infuriating. No problem has ever been solved by running away from it.

As I stood in the kitchen and realized Paige was going to fully commit to pretending things aren't broken between us, I couldn't stay there without blowing a gasket. After getting the kids set up in the living room, I had to get out of there. Not sure I want to know whatever Gwen and Paige were whispering about in the kitchen. The little bit I heard before I left didn't exactly ease my mind—Paige never had any intention of telling me about the Michigan offer.

Since Imogen has been hounding me all week about a decision or a meet up, I decided that I might as well share my epiphany with her sooner rather than later. If nothing else, I've had a lot of time to think and reflect this week. My head is finally clear, and I know what I want, even if I'm not sure I can get it.

At the pub, I order a fizzy drink, and I wait for Imogen to arrive. Alcohol would make me rash and possibly cruel, and neither of those is something I need. I could have waited until tomorrow to have it out with Imogen, but I've had enough avoidance this week. Besides, I don't need Toby trying to support his daughter in all the wrong ways. She doesn't need to be coddled; she needs to face reality.

Imogen's attitude has been frustrating me, and while Paige is normally a balancing influence in my life, she's been a source of even greater stress. If she doesn't want to be with me, she can bloody well say it to my face. I might have fucked up the other night, but she's compounded it by refusing to speak to me in person all week.

Random texts that are simply an exchange of important details don't work for me. I'm not living like that for another eleven weeks, even if it means Chloe and I have to move out. If nothing else, Paige's attitude has forced me to be realistic about what I'm willing to accept or not accept with both women.

As the door to the pub opens, I fire off a group text to Gwen and Diya with my plan for tonight. One way or another, Paige and I are talking. Even if I have to tie her to the bed to do it.

"Ash," Imogen says as she sets her handbag on the seat beside her and fluffs her hair. "I was glad you rang."

I wince. She may not be glad for long.

"I've thought about what you had to say last week," I say. "And I'm open to you spending more time with Chloe, but I'm not part of the custody deal we make."

Any hint of colour leaves her already pale face. "Ash."

"You disappeared, Immy, and I fell in love with someone else. I can't help it. Can't change it, and if I'm completely honest, I don't want to. I'm happy, and I want you to be happy, too."

Tears pool in her brown eyes, and she searches my face. "You can't mean this. Chloe should have both her parents together, in the same house."

"You didn't even tell me you'd come back." I rotate the glass in front of me. If I was so important, wouldn't she come to me first? Begged for forgiveness? Offered an explanation? When someone wants you back, they don't hide from you.

"I wanted to be sure." She purses her lips. "I needed to be sure before I spoke to you."

"About me?"

"I've always been sure about you. Always."

She doesn't clarify, and my heart drops. She can't mean what I think she means. "You weren't sure about Chloe?"

"About being a mum, yeah. It's not something—I wasn't sure."

"And now?" She never revealed herself to me, I discovered her at her parents when I arrived early, and it occurs to me that I might not like any of her answers today either.

"I want you and Chloe. A package deal. I don't want to be a single mum. That's not why I had her, and it's not why I came back."

I rub my neck, and I try to find the right words for what I'm sure I need to ask, but for Chloe's sake, I'm not sure I want to know. "There is no package. Me and you won't happen again. What do you reckon that means for you and Chloe?"

"Don't know. I mean... I never thought... You've always loved me, Ash. Don't remember a time when you didn't love me. We've been together since we was fifteen. If you just—if we just—you can again. You can." Her chin trembles.

"Even if I could, the things that I want, the person I am, it's all different." I stare into the dark liquid in my glass. "I'll keep Chloe, and you can see her as much or as little as you want. As long as you're clean and in a good place, mentally, I'll never keep her from you. But I don't want her living with you if there's even a little part of you that doesn't want her. I don't want anything to dim her light if I can help it."

"You really love her more than you ever loved me, don't you?" Her tone is accusing.

I'm not sure if she means Paige or Chloe, but the answer is the same regardless. It's also a bloody knife to Imogen's heart to say it out loud.

"I've made my choice," I say. "No matter how many times you ask, or how many times Toby does, the answer's not likely to change. I'm not the man I was a year ago, and I've got no desire to go back—to any of it."

"She's leaving, Ash. I don't understand why you're doing this when she's not staying. We could be a family."

My reasons for not going back to Imogen are as a result of Paige, but they aren't because of Paige. It's a distinction I'm not sure Imogen would understand even if I could find the words to explain it properly. I want more than what I had with Imogen, and I understand now that it's possible. A level of happiness and certainty exists beyond anything I've ever felt before, and I'm not settling for anything less than what I've got right now with Paige.

Or rather, what I had last week with Paige before I ruined it with my uncertainty. Or maybe it was already ruined when she got the offer to return to Michigan and didn't tell me. Suppose I'll see where it all lands tonight.

I rise from my seat at the table, and I drain the rest of my drink while I'm on my feet. Hopefully, I've given Gwen enough time to get Paige out of the house for a bit. If I wasn't so angry with Paige for avoiding me all week, I might be a bit nervous about what I'm planning to do.

"You can let me know whether you're going to be involved in Chloe's life tomorrow when I drop her round Toby and Flora's."

She might have thought I'd cave under the pressure of not having her in our lives at all, but she doesn't understand how much I've learned this year. This week with Paige gone so much has put my life into perspective. Blotted out any hint of confusion. I'm capable of being enough for Chloe, and I'm not letting Imogen guilt me into a situation that'll only breed misery—mine or Chloe's and maybe even Imogen's. "Toby and Flora are welcome to be involved, even if you don't want to be."

"Ash." Imogen rises and grips my forearm. There are tears in her eyes.

"I won't change my mind. It'd be better if you focused on what you can have. Children need their mothers." Then I walk out of the pub to determine what I can salvage with Paige.

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