Penelope in HR is talking, but I can't focus on a word she's saying. Yesterday when Ash admitted Imogen was back, something in my brain short-circuited. It was like I could already see the strands of my life fraying, and all I wanted to do was repair them. The problem is that I'm not the one who can fix it, and I'm not even sure Ash is.

Whatever nonsense Imogen feeds him will steer the course of the time I have left here. His obvious desire to hear her out, even if he didn't say it, makes me queasy. Hashing out their differences could very well leave me and Joey in a house that will no longer feel like a home.

I felt the change in him from the minute he walked in the door. A chill. At first, I assumed practice had been extra hard or he hadn't played well, but as soon as he told me about Imogen, I realized the shift in him wouldn't be temporary. Right or wrong, I jumped on the notion of him freezing them all out. Keep them away as long as possible.

When Penelope stops talking, I realize I'm supposed to say something. "I'm really happy to hear HR has taken my concerns seriously."

"Sometimes a new perspective is necessary to make you realize something hasn't been quite right all along. The company and us as a department, unfortunately, let the company policies become too dated to be effective."

Out with the old and in with the new. If only the rest of life was as easy as a few policy changes.

"We'll be implementing training around the new code of conduct, and as a condition of continued employment, all staff will be expected to sign it."

"And if they don't?" Jack's hostile attitude coupled with his poor work ethic won't be a good fit for the conduct revisions, but that's exactly why I can't see him agreeing to sign without a fight.

"There is a flexibility clause built into the contracts regarding HR policies and procedures, and the changes we're suggesting, according to our lawyers, aren't unreasonable and are in line with similar companies. For those unwilling to sign, we're offering severance with all our terminations, which is standard. You can direct anyone who might have questions to us, and we'll deal with them accordingly." She gives me a knowing look.

Jack isn't likely to complain to me, but he'll complain to everyone else. "I'll call a team meeting to make sure everyone gets the same message."

"Let me know when you schedule it, and I'll have someone from this office there to take questions. We realize we didn't move quickly on these changes, but we needed to get everything in line legally as well as draft and revise the new code of conduct. We didn't want to just stick a plaster on it."

While having them take their time might not have been what was best for me on this project, it's definitely the better solution for the long term. A robust code of conduct that deals with today's problem but is also able to foresee issues in the future is the right call to make. Even if I was immensely frustrated sometimes with the slow pace of HR and the slow pace of my team, I understand that any change is often fraught with complications.

"Now that we, hopefully, have the biggest thorn in your side on the way to being plucked out, we wanted to speak to you about your contract." Penelope draws her keyboard toward her and taps a few things into the computer. "Your initial visa is good for two years, and you expressed a willingness to extend your first year if the low-income housing project wasn't complete."

"That's right," I say, and my heart hammers in my chest. A few days ago, the idea of staying longer would have been an absolute gift. I'd have run home and told Ash that we had more time together. Now I don't know what to think.

"Your last estimated time of completion had the project about four weeks behind. Would you still feel that's accurate?"

"Um." I take a deep breath, and I try to calm my pounding heart. No matter what I say, the company may decide it's just as easy to slot Catherine or one of the other team members into my place for the home stretch. "Possibly more like eight. I'd have to review the project in a little more depth, since we're still about three months out from the original deadline."

"Right. Of course. If we could arrange it with your current housing, would you be willing to stay on longer? Possibly to the end of the assignment? Perhaps longer? We're trying to get a sense of what we could possibly put together for you. It may come to nothing, and we might simply extend until the end of the project, but there are some moving pieces right now. The senior management team here has been really impressed with your work and work ethic."

If she's dangling another promotion in front of me, my gut instinct is to grab it. Move those pieces, slot me in. But if Ash goes back to Imogen, I can't imagine he'll stay on as my nanny. The idea of it makes me queasy again. Equally, the idea of trying to hire someone new to fill his shoes is daunting, if not downright appalling.

"You don't seem certain," Penelope says.

"I'm doing mental gymnastics over my childcare situation," I say. "Sorry. Joey is my top priority, and I would need to make sure that's stable."

"I can understand that." She gives me a small smile.

Though it isn't right, I always worry about job opportunities drying up as soon as I remind people that I'm also a mother.

"I'm obliged to mention that our Michigan branch has been asking about your intentions as well. They are keen to have you back, and I wouldn't be surprised if they reach out as well with some sort of offer to return."

"The offices don't really compete for staff though, do they? I mean, we're the same company." I let out a soft laugh.

"Not compete, no. That's not what I'd name it. When there's someone in the company who is a good fit for key roles, we want to make sure they're in the best position for the company." She pauses for the briefest moment. "Also for their personal situation as well. You may be offered one of the jobs or you may be offered both. It's early days yet."

With only three months left, their decision doesn't feel early. Considering my visa is already good for an additional year, they may not rush to make a decision. Limbo is my least favorite position.

"Assuming you can arrange your childcare to suit your needs, are you open to staying in England longer?"

I should give her an immediate yes and show zero hesitation, but I've allowed my life to become stitched with Ash's. If I lose him, I also lose Tejinder and Diya. The only person I'd have left in any sort of social circle would be Maryam, and we're work friends. I've rarely seen her outside of office hours.

"If my childcare can stay on," I say. "I'm willing to stay as well."

"I'm happy to hear that." Penelope clicks a few things on her screen and then faces me. "I'll be in touch with next steps, and if you can keep me in the loop about your childcare situation, I'd appreciate it."

"I'll speak to him soon, and I'll get back to you." I leave her office, and I head back to my desk, my mind a muddled mess. Even if Ash agreed to stay on for several more weeks or months, I'm not sure I can count on that.

How long can I press Ash to stay away from Imogen and her family to serve my own desires? It's grossly unfair because he probably needs to deal with her and his residual feelings, whatever they are. Although encouraging the distance is wrong, the thought of losing Ash makes my chest tighten with dread.

Imogen's return has thrown a wrench in the works, and while I don't know if anything is broken, I can already sense something isn't quite right.

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