"baby, if you were words on a page, you would be FINE print"

"i seem to have lost my number. can i have yours?"

"call me nemo cause i'm not afraid to touch the butt"

"if i was a cat, i'd spend all nine lives with you"

"damn! if sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!"

"do you work at dick's? chase your sporting the goods"

"is your dad a baker? cause you have nice buns!"

"i was feeling a little off today, but you turned me on"

"are you from tennessee? cause you're the only ten i see"

"my doctor says i'm lacking vitamin u"

"if you were a booger i'd pick you first"

"what's on the menu? me-n-u"

horoscopingyourasshole//Instagram