As I mentioned previously, I had no sense of support and/or options for where to go. My income and funds were very limited. I saw a listing for a one-room apartment in Durham. It seemed like a good choice because, unlike most rentals situations you need to come up with two month's rent and a security deposit, this apartment only required an upfront payment of one week.

I soon learned that the location was not somewhere where I should have been living. It was located on Holloway Street in Durham which is not far from downtown and the main library. I was learning that this area was known to be a drug-infested, crime-ridden part of Durham – not a place for someone like me.

I could sense as someone who should not be walking alone especially at night on those streets. Few people should be walking alone down that street if they wanted to stay safe.

There was actually a bed and breakfast up the street from the apartment that catered to a more affluent person, but it was behind a gate. Still, it seemed strangely out of place.

On the street, you could see needles that had been discarded. These obviously were used for illicit drug use.

The house had two floors. Each room was a separate Single Room Occupancy (SRO) apartment. There were five rooms upstairs and five rooms downstairs. The stairs were the first thing you see when you open the front door. Each tenant received a key to their room. My apartment was the first one on the right as you enter the front door. Down the hall, there was a soda machine and a snack machine. Then at the end of the hall, to the right, there was another hall with a shared bathroom and shower. To the left was the kitchen area with a stove and microwave for the tenants to prepare their meals.

Next to the kitchen was another door that leads outside to the driveway. Around the back was an apartment where Scott was living. Scott was the one who collected the rent each week and gave us a receipt. I believe he was getting free rent in exchange for this service and a few other small responsibilities that he had.

The landlord was named Jimmy, but he never collected the rent. We always paid Scott. Jimmy sometimes came to visit and to stock the soda and snack machines. He seemed nice enough for a while.

He introduced me to a very nice woman named Grace who I befriended. She was very attractive. She was a single mother with two children. From time to time, she would take me to the Durham Bulls to see a baseball game. Other times she had me come to her place to work on her computer.

Beginning in June, Jimmy contracted with me to build a dating website. He understood that it would take a while to do this. We could buy profiles that would make the site look like there were members and that hopefully would encourage people to want to join the website - for a free trial that would convert to a paid subscription. This arrangement was in exchange for my weekly rent.

At this same point, the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation (VR) had funded my training to get a certificate in web design from North Carolina State University in Raleigh. Following the completion of that, they were funding the startup costs for me to start a home-based web design business.

The fact that I had discovered years earlier that computer or other technical jobs were not for me did not seem to matter with my counselor.

I felt so little self-esteem or self-confidence and my sense of hope and identity was non-existent. So, I went along with this idea.

Working with VR, we developed a business plan with a list of start-up expenses that VR would fund. My counselor at VR, Eric Peters, asked me "where are you going to run the business?"

That seemed like an unusual question since we knew it was going to be a home-based business. He pointed out that the neighborhood was known to be a drug-infested crime-ridden area in Durham. That's obviously problematic for having people come to the business which might happen from time to time. In addition, they were concerned about the possible theft of property that was owned by VR. As part of the plan, VR would maintain ownership of the computer equipment for a few years.

They also maintained ownership of the software that was purchased. At that time, software was distributed on DVDs which were kept in the office area of the room.

The room was about fifteen feet by twenty feet. There was a wall that was about 8 feet from the door to the apartment which hid the bed that was behind that. A couch came with the room and a desk with a couple of chairs and a mattress that was on the floor. My computer was on the desk that was to the right as you enter the room.

At one point, VR was willing to pay the rent for a couple of weeks, and on another occasion, the Department of Social Services paid the rent. This was before I had the arrangement with Jimmy to work on his website in exchange for the cost of my rent, which was $90 per week.

Somehow VR agreed to let me set up my home-based business at this location.

A number of weeks after the dating website project had been underway, Jimmy became overly disappointed that he wasn't making money yet. So, he pulled the plug on that and demanded that I go back to paying rent. I wasn't prepared to pay rent when this demand was placed upon me. I had not seen it coming. I thought he understood that it would take time.

I had some options because there are resources in the community to prevent a person from being evicted from their home. VR might be able to help me as well. Maybe I could turn to my family for help as well.

I received an eviction order and was given a hearing.

He even cut the cable line to my apartment.

During the court hearing, I appealed the eviction. I was merely asking for some time to make arrangements for where I could store the items that could not be replaced, as well as clothing and the computer equipment. I also felt I could find a way to pay the back rent. The judge agreed that my request was reasonable and allowed me to be given two more weeks. It looked like VR would help me with the rent to get caught up.

Before we move forward, I want to mention a discussion that I had with Jimmy as he was stocking the soda and snack machine. This was before the work for rent arrangement had broken down. This will be important to know in a later chapter.

I had commented upon some aspects of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) because the treatment of DID had played a role in my current situation.

As an example, I said that if I had the disorder, which I did not, I might have a different personality that might take control of my body. That other personality might have a different name. I might have amnesia for the time when the other personality was "out."

[In consideration of future events for which I could not know yet, I want to add something that I had not shared with Jimmy. I couldn't have explained the "switching" to him because there's no specific way that happens. It's unique each time. Certainly, a layperson would not recognize it, right away. A person doesn't repeatedly cycle through various personalities or identities. Again, the switch might not be noticed by the average person. It's not obvious. ]

Also, I explained to Jimmy that if a person switched to a different personality, that other personality would or could be out for an extended period of time.

In my example, I said that if I had different personalities, one of them might be named "Brucie." I was thinking about how grandpa had called me Brucie as a kid.

Getting back to the eviction situation, I did have ideas for work and to catch up on rent. Jimmy had multiple properties and each one had multiple tenants. It is reasonable to assume that landlords have to be aware that they will have empty rooms or apartments from time to time. The same is true for hotels and motels.

It's important to realize that at this time, so many aspects of photography are based on actual film. The film gets developed at a photo lab like the one where I was working at Eckerd. We gave people the negatives of the photographs so they can print them in different sizes later.

All my memories of the life I had known for the past decade were on photographic prints, the film negatives, and I had many photographs that I had scanned and stored on CDs, DVDs. This included all the photographs that I had taken growing up in Connecticut or as a young adult.

All my memories of a lifetime were stored in these ways. So, it was precious and irreplaceable. That included photographs of Celta and then of Lynn.

All the letters that Celta wrote to me were also things that I wanted to preserve.

My life had fallen apart but I wanted to hold onto what had sentimental value to me. I certainly had drawn a great deal of strength from the experience I had with Celta even after she died. Lynn always knew about this and she understood that I wasn't clinging to the past or someone more special than her.

As I was saying, I had plans for catching up on the rent, or I would find a place to store my most precious things that could not be replaced. I planned to do that before it was too late. I had to figure something out. There had to be some options. Maybe I could ask some friends to hold onto these items that were not large and did not take up much space, but which had value to me.

Later, as the nightmare got worse, I would lose everything that I had in this apartment. The landlord would end up just throwing it all away. I would be devastated when I learned this. I would have nothing physical to hold unto in terms of the memories, mementos, keepsakes, and photographs.

What happens next would be one of the most bizarre and horrifying events in my life.