[Disclaimer: I have used aliases for clients to protect their identity and confidentiality.]

While all these things were happening, while I was trying to stay to hold onto my sanity amongst the grief over what had changed in my life with Lynn and the feelings that I had been drugged, I learned that grievances had been filed against me with the North Carolina Social Work Certification and Licensure Board (NCSWCLB). Everything was happening all at once.

This was during August of 2000. For the most part, this entire section of the book covers just one month in my life when everything changed. I was in a fog. Things didn't seem real. I was trying to process that the love of my life, Lynn, might die.

Everything had been fine just yesterday – I mean it felt like just yesterday. It felt like one day things were great and the next day I was living in a nightmare. There had been some gradual worsening of Lynn's health, as I tried to indicate previously; but I had not noticed what was happening.

I had been on top of the world, successful in my career, living a happy life with my wife. We had a "normal life." ... until it wasn't normal!

How could I mount a defense against the complaints or grievances? For me, I never imagined anyone would complain about my services. I felt shame!

Looking back, I had not been reflecting on the reality of all the people who had been totally and completely happy with me over the past decade! Easily hundreds of people!

It wasn't comforting enough to know that these individuals had been brainwashed by John Freifeld. Why was he so obsessed with me? I learned that he had composed one single grievance letter or statement and the same exact letter or statement was signed by five clients. I knew that these five clients were receiving treatment or interventions from Freifeld.

Let me give a summary of what was said. Again, this was the same exact grievance statement signed by five clients. That in itself is strange since each client had different issues. They all had Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and two of them had been referred to me by John Freifeld.

Technically, some of them may not have had DID. Not all were referred to me by Friefeld but they were all associated with Friefeld or receiving services or support from him.

They didn't feel that I could treat DID. They claimed that I insisted that I speak to their alters – ironically, that was what another client of mine named Tracy said she hated that John had done. Tracy had said that she felt like she had to respond as if she was speaking as one of these other personalities whose existence was supposed to be a part of her existence.

She had not been involved in this grievance since she had returned and left the area a couple of months ago.

They speculated that I was working with them because they were female, and they speculated that when I left the room to use the restroom it was to masturbate! Gee, I wonder where they got such a bizarre idea?

Tracy had to leave the area because she rejected the sexual advances made by John months earlier and things got out of hand as a result of that.

So, one can imagine where someone might get such a bizarre idea that their therapist, when leaving the office is doing so to go masturbate! Maybe I had an overactive bladder but that's a fact I would have loved to leave out of this story.

They claimed that I spent too much time in sessions with them. They also claimed that I planted false memories of satanic ritual abuse.

What do I mean, brainwashed by John Freifeld?

Well, Sadie was one of the clients who had left my services over two months previous to this. She had NEVER once mentioned the topic of satanic ritual abuse or anything that bizarre. She had NEVER expressed any dissatisfaction with anything I had done. Neither had her mother, other friends, and family, nor her wife. Yes, Sadie was a lesbian and she had a wife.

She definitely never had any thoughts that I was helping her only because she was an attractive female.

Only two of my clients even spoke about these ideas that existed in the conspiracy theories that had been circulating on the web. You might recall, dear reader, that I had done a web search to find out about the bizarre nature of what some clients had started sharing with me just a few months ago and for the first time.

Most of them had all been working with me for well over a year and had not discussed any of these bizarre "memories."

Going down that rabbit hole had only happened as a result of what they were revealing to me. This had only just happened, it was just with two clients, and was not a part of our therapy sessions until just recently.

They had retained lawyers and filed malpractice civil suits against me as well. My malpractice insurance company assigned me a lawyer who helped with the NCSWCLB complaints/grievances as well.

Lynn was in the hospital during this time, and I was going to have to tell her about this. I dreaded bringing more stressful information to her. I knew how much she loved me and wanted me to be happy and successful.