It's amazing how much this silhouette in the photo above looks just like Lynn.

Before I continue with the story about how we got engaged, I want to share another story.

I wrote love poems. I said I was a poet. Is this a surprise that I was inspired to write love poems?

There was one time when I had written a love poem inspired by my love for Lynn. I decided to share it at the poetry reading. It would be a surprise for Lynn. We went to the Coastline Convention Center together like we almost always did.

It was a Sunday in late May of 1994, nearly two years after we started seeing each other. The sun was sinking low, and the room was getting slightly dark. Dusty had turned on a slightly dim light up front near the podium. The poem was inspired by a story from the old testament and a song by the Electric Prunes called "I Had Too Much To Dream (Last Night)."

I was still a Christian back then. I am an atheist now. Lynn had a belief in supernatural things, but she was not Christian. I laughingly say that I "want to believe" but I am not now an agnostic. I am now an atheist but that was not the case when these events were unfolding. This might be hard to understand for some people – someone who dreams like me only believing in objective things that I know from science and objective reality provided by my five senses.

Anyway, I thought the title was somewhat unoriginal. "Dream-like Visions from the Song of Songs." "The Song of Songs" is called "The Song of Solomon" by Protestants. I heard the song "I Had Too Much To Dream" when I was watching a movie called "The Believers." Let me share a YouTube link to the song and then I will share the lyrics below.

The lyrics go like this:

Last night your shadow fell upon my lonely room

I touched your golden hair and tasted your perfume

Your eyes were filled with love the way they used to be

Your gentle hand reached out to comfort me

Then came the dawn

And you were gone

You were gone, gone, gone

I had too much to dream last night

Too much to dream

I'm not ready to face the light

I had too much to dream

Last night

Last night

The room was empty as I staggered from my bed

I could not bear the image racing through my head

You were so real that I could feel your eagerness

And when you raised your lips for me to kiss

Came the dawn

And you were gone

You were gone, gone, gone

I had too much to dream last night

Too much to dream

I'm not ready to face the light

I had too much to dream

Last night

Last night

I had too much to dream last night

Too much to dream

I'm not ready to face the light

I had too much to dream

Last night

Last night

Oh, too much to dream

Oh, too much to dream

Too much to dream last night

Oh, too much to dream

Oh, too much to dream

Oh, too much to dream

Dear reader, I apologize that I don't have a version of the poem that I read back then. While it was used in a horror movie, I like the magical dream-like quality of the song.

There is little that is more magical than being able to get up in front of a room of people and declare your undying love for another person. I could feel the driving power of the song...

I loved the applause. It was so obvious what this was about! People were stopping me as I walked away from the podium.

I then sat next to Lynn at the table as someone else was about to start reading. I noticed Lynn was doodling. One of our mutual friends said how much he liked the poem. I turned to Lynn and said, "well, what are your thoughts?"

"What..." she said in the form of a question. "I'm sorry I wasn't listening."

I just shook my head and smiled. She added, "I thought you were only reading poems I already heard." I could tell she was embarrassed. Her face was blushing. She added, "Oh, I'm so sorry sweetie. Let me read it."

I handed it to her and turned to face her, moving closer, my arms rested on her chair and I leaned in, tilting my head, and slowly brought my lips to hers... she was too embarrassed to be the one to part lips, I felt aroused as she held my lips there, with her hands on both sides of my face. Just for a moment – there were others.

"It's okay," I said. And with a smile, I added "you know I really love you."

"I love you too, honey."

She then looked down and read the poem.

This would become an inside joke for us. I would kid her about this in different ways... maybe something like "If I share a poem about our love I hope Lynn is listening?"

Her way of making up for this was to read my poem on various occasions when she didn't have anything else to read. She would ask if I had the poem and then share it with the group. I can't count the number of times that happened. It demonstrated her appreciation and recognition of the value of our love.

Getting Engaged!

I said, "I also need to get you a ring ..." pausing to let her register it. The next memory I have is of us in a jewelry store.

We didn't plan a marriage at the same time when we were planning to get engaged, though this was definitely implied. Those details could be worked out later and they were complicated by factors outside our control.

We were discussing the meaning of this step for both of us. It was a lifetime commitment to live as husband and wife. It felt natural, right, and appropriate while simultaneously being amazing and wonderful.

Words like "wonderful" and "amazing" are so overused that the full impact of these words needs some elaboration. Let me tell you what happened.

We were in love. Getting engaged to be married is the natural expression of that commitment that was intended to last forever.

I remember we were at a jewelry store at the mall. We explained that we weren't rich when an employee approached. A big diamond ring wasn't a necessity. Again, Lynn was the practical one. About two hundred dollars.

I had butterflies in my stomach and my heart was racing. I was thinking to myself "this is real. I'm not dreaming. This is real." It was an almost ticklish feeling.

They measured Lynn's finger. I said, "are you sure?"

"Yes, let's get this one," she said looking at the lady.

"Your fiancé can come to pick it up next Monday," the lady said looking at Lynn.

I came and by then it felt like a routine day. We were alone at her place on Wrightsville Beach. I had not noticed if Lynn was aware that I had the ring that day.

I laid the bag on her bed and turned as she entered the room.

"I want to marry you ..." I began as I started opening the box. Then I noticed that she had tears of joy in her eyes. It took me a moment to take this in. My first thought was, "you knew I was bringing this" so I was surprised by her reaction.

She placed the ring on her finger, tears running down her face. Then she brought her arms around my neck and brought her lips to mine. My legs started to get weak. I raised her up by her waist a bit and laid back onto her bed bringing her with me, on top of me. My left arm then went around her shoulders. Her right arm dropped down by my lower back. She squeezed herself tightly around my back.

I felt her breasts pressed against my racing heart. Her heart was getting louder as she pressed her lips harder. I could feel her legs on my legs. I could feel the teardrops on my face.

I paused and said, "I am in love."

She answered, "I love you so much."

It was the most amazing thing I had ever experienced. Making Lynn this happy was a memory more intense than anything since. I have never been happier.

She was crying tears of joy and this was bliss! Serene. Then our lips met again, and she moved like she was ferociously hungry... like a wolf might devour a meal.

I remember sitting on her porch upstairs – it was half a flight upstairs to get to where the kitchen met the back porch. She was on the phone with her mother.

There's so much that I left out of this story.

The next phase of our relationship was moving into a home that Lynn's mother, Diane, bought in Wilmington.

I haven't even talked about my career that I was starting. Again, my choice of career was very significant for both of us. I was going into social work and the values that are reflected in that career choice were definitely something that was attractive to Lynn.

I actually had a very busy life during this time period but you wouldn't know that from what I wrote so far... You might think that we were just dreamers in love. But as I noted, Lynn was very practical and that was what attracted me to her. I'll continue to demonstrate this throughout the book.

I've focused on the relationship we had found together - Lynn and I. That connection is so crucial to the overall theme of this book. Relationships matter!

My career journey was taking off as well.

It is undeniable that the joy I brought Lynn was the happiest feeling I have ever known. I say this despite the fact that I feel very passionate about the career I have chosen. I very much like helping others and knowing that I can help another person find healing from emotional or psychological pain or negative experiences.