"What're you going to do?"

A grimace snuck up my face as I covered Tanya's face with a black color. I held the tablet in a better position in my hands, looking up at Andrea, "Perfect."

I loved the confidence the picture gave me despite its vulnerability...I hated that it was during the times Jackson and I were on really great terms.

But what's about to be done, has to be done.

I stood up the table, completely ignoring my speeding heart.

"Can I have everyone's attention please?"

Everyone's mumbles filled the cafeteria, mostly wondering .

"I'm pretty sure most of you knew me right after I dated Jackson, my one month ex boyfriend...despite being with all of you since kindergarten. Later on you labeled me as 'The Hot, Smart Blonde' after I was known for being 'The Awkward, Nerdy Blonde'. What was the cause?"

"Your hot ass?" A jock called out, causing an eruption of laughter to fill up.

"No, sweetie, step your game up. It's more than just an ass," I rolled my eyes, bringing silence back up, "it was because I took therapy...I was simply confident. And I became brave enough to block any sort of confrontations by embracing my flaws. Does it make me feel ashamed? No. I'm fucking proud of it! Why would I be ashamed of something that changed me to the best? But I'm here to ask all of you, should it make me feel ashamed?"

I looked at everyone's dropped jaws, a smile fighting its urge to tug on my lips. A girls voice rose as she raised her arms , "it shouldn't!" The girls beside her all called out, agreeing making me smile.

I saw Andrea and Ted, mutter a damn as everyone agreed, drawing a prominent grin on my face.

"Well," I started again, making silence fill up once more, "I can see everyone agrees...but I know too well that Jackson doesn't. Jackson Byers, the school hockey champion, was shamed that his -now- ex girlfriend took therapy."

I took the tablet from Andrea, unlocking it to raise the edited picture, "Jackson Byers, the school's polite student, tried to get in my pants by playing drunk after cheating on me in last month's senior party."

I handed the tablet back down watching attention dive right into his shameful eyes. "I wasn't trying to do this just to roast Jackson, even though I totally did...I did this to prove that I, Lia Marie Johnson, a mentally ill girl, am not ashamed of who I am. And neither should any of you who's trying to hide something you don't like about yourselves, your body, your personality or even your mind."

The way I was smiling uncontrollably made my heart beat faster...but not in anxiousness, in happiness.

Happiness that I finally made a voice with good feedback just as loud as it.

I couldn't wait to tell my therapist about this.

***

"Each and everyone of you will get a piece of paper, a word written on it. Each word refers to a certain feeling. All you have to do, is try and express that certain feeling out loud through words of your own."

"That's him," I whispered to Andrea as I watched Ross pass through my row, secretly sending me a wink.

"Damn," she mumbled, making me smirk. "You got the whole package."

"Who'd like to start?"

Love, I read, smiling softly. I knew too well that word along with his presence were enough to make me kick every bully's ass do well with my SLO points during activity and SLO classes.

"Uhm, Lia," Andrea whispered, making me look towards her, "I think this is for you."

Meet me in the janitors' closet by 2:00 ;)

Oh god, Ross.

Oh god, Lynch.

Oh god, you goof.

I giggled nervously, taking the paper from her hands before raising mine up, to go first.

There's no way in hell im going to do this the way I did eight months ago.

"Lia," he rested by the teacher's table, a little smirk evident to me on his face.

"Love," I started, watching everyone's attention turn to me. "The closest word to love in my dictionary is care. It's when you care for an individual, boy or girl, and you know you'd want to go through everything they do just to let them know they'll never be alone. Love is embracing all your partner's flaws and instead of simply accepting them, loving them. Love is knowing your partner's hands would be a safer place for your heart than your ribs."

"Wow...that's the punkest definition of love anyone's ever given."

"That depends on your opinion and how you see it from your own perspective," Ross smiled at me, replying to Jackson's cold remark before turning to the whiteboard.

Speech, he wrote, drawing a circle around it with several branching lines.

"Speech," he leaned onto the table, taking his glasses off to set them on the table, "has two outcomes. Either it's a yes, I like your speech, or a no, I don't like it. There are several reasons to both; yes: could be for a certain attraction a person's got towards the talker, in which your stimulation is convinced the person's personality is perfect enough to create a beautiful speech. Could be the use of vocabulary with positive words such as love, care, and heart, in Lia's example. But when it comes to a no, I don't like your speech, there are even more reasons.

"The first, and the one we've just witnessed, is a certain repulsion coming from the listener, what's your name?"

"Jackson."

"Jackson," he smiled, walking up a little closer to him.

I could watch him talk that way all year and I would never mind.

"Can He please sign up at our school for advising class? He needs to be more than just a guest," Andrea whispered, almost as if reading my own thoughts.

Hell, I wouldn't mind if he was in charge of all subjects.

"The art of being a good listener, is never showing any kind of attraction, repulsion or naiveness. Meaning, the feedback coming from you could be convincing enough to make the audience agree with your opinion, if it didn't have repulsion as the main factor of standing up against the talker," only I sensed the way he tried to contain his nerves against Jackson. Only I knew how much he hated him.

"That's why the art of speech is powerful enough to be concluded in everything, such as school. You could write an essay knowing too well it isn't worth the A+ you're looking for, but simply using a set of positive vocabulary could flip it right side up, and vice versa, if you wrote an excellent essay that does, deserve an A+, the loss of positive vocabulary, arrangements of the paragraphs and disorganization of the ideas could make an A change into a D. Now, attraction and repulsion are important factors, so if your teacher doesn't like you, you've got to step up," his little chuckle along with the girls' giggles made my heart burn.

How dare they?

I couldn't blame them. The way he was dressed today, his voice, his talk, all could do the wonders.

Wow, he's actually mine...

"Who wants to go up after the remarks?"

***

I was pinned against the wall right before his eager lips smashed on mine.

It's been two days, and seeing him for two periods during advising class blocked the urge to resist.

"What did you do?" He softly chuckled against my lips, his hands roaming my body as mine tugged softly on his hair.

"I stepped up," I smirked, kissing him hungrily as his breath shivered in response.

"Well it certainly had an impression," he mumbled, locking my tongue with his as he dominated it.

"You accidentally gave the note to Andrea."

I suddenly missed his damp lips on mine...too close to whining for my kisses back.

I'm that needy for him.

"Shit," he chuckled embarrassingly, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, I told her about us."

I was the one to lay my lips back on his, not able to resist the way he touched me.

He suddenly left my lips, trailing wet kisses down my jaw until he reached my neck, starting off with wet kisses near my ear, "Ross you're going to give me a hickey."

His chuckles made me bite my lips, knowing too well he never cared about my remark, "well I need to mark my property if I'm going to have to cope with all these boys staring at you."

His breathing got shorter as I failed at trying to contain my little moans.

I've never moaned before.

What if it's horrible?

His hands rested at my thighs, lifting me up to make me wrap my legs around his waist. He left my skin, biting his lips softly as I blushed.

"Can't proceed with cute, little, hot moans escaping your pretty mouth," his eyes pulsed love to me along with his precious smile.

I love him too much to not confess it to him, but I needed a perfect moment for a confession.

"But I guess a pink, little love bite will do the work."

"Lynch!" I hit his shoulder, playing with his collar. "I'm guessing I have to do the same to you after hearing the girls' gossips."

He laughed, giving my lips a little peck that warmed my heart. I watched the love drunk look in his eyes slowly change as they stared at mine with sorrow. My heart broke at the way whatever was on his mind, and I immediately frowned.

"Whats wrong, baby?" I muttered, my fingers grazing his lips slowly.

He raised his eyebrows, his lips parting slightly as his hold on my thighs hardened. "D-did you j-just call me baby?"

"Yeah," I giggled, letting my arms snake around his neck. "Can't I call you baby? Or were you expecting me to call you daddy?"

Perhaps I was trying to tease him...especially after he opened his diary next to me this morning.

Damn, he was one, dark man. No wonder girls found him intimidating.

Luckily only I got to know the truth.

His deep red cheeks along with his widened eyes were enough to please me, as I knew about his little secret now.

"Babygirl," he muttered, hiding his face against my chest in embarrassment.

God, he was cute.

"It's okayyy," I giggled letting him face me, "I actually find it kind of hot."

"It doesn't freak you out?" He bit his lip in worry as I shook my head smiling at him.

"Not a bit," I kissed his cheek loving it's dare red shade that screamed care about my feeling,

And mostly shyness.

"Now, please tell me what's up."

He put me down, grazing my cheeks with his calloused fingers, allowing me to stare into his hazel dripping eyes.

I knew too well then, that I was loved...and I was loving.

Have been all along.

I need him to let the sorrow out...

"I know where your mother is."

😭😭