Waking up hungover, knowing too well I was never drunk hurt a lot more than being sober.

Last night was something else.

Last night my heart beat for love.

Last night I finally knew what Love was after being too naive for too long.

But my tongue was tied and I only let my body react the way it pleased. I let my heart beat happily, I enjoyed the adrenaline rushes and I let my body ache for his closeness, just the way it does now.

"What's with the goofy smile?"

"Come on in," I softly said, letting my hair fall from the made bun.

"We're you busy studying?" She pointed towards my glasses, making me shake my head as I stretched, smiling.

"No, I was just using the computer. Make yourself at home."

I watched Andrea walk into the kitchen counter, staring at the laptop, making me blush lightly.

"Cheesy," she smirked making me bite my lip softly. "So...you mentioned yesterday something you nee-"

"I take therapy."

The only thing holding me back from giggling was my sanity. I couldn't help contain my smile. Confessing to her something that I thought would make me feel insecure made me feel untied.

My grin confused her. Its effect was crystal clear. She sat down on the couch beside me as I adjusted my glasses, "I don't know if I should be happy or sad about this."

I completely understood her which was why I was nowhere near offended.

"I'm happy about it. I'm getting treated by the best Therapist. His name is Ross and he's a huge part of my life right now."

She sighed in relief, a smile cracking its way through her little lips, making me lightly bounce on the bed, "I'm so happy that you're happy, Lia," her hug was all I needed as an approval of support, despite her nervousness. "It's clear you're improving emotionally, right?"

"Okay let go of being nervous," I giggled, taking off my glasses to clean them with my loose, long sleeved cropped sweater. "Taking therapy doesn't make me any less of a healthy person. I'm just mentally unstable and I have someone helping me with it."

She nodded slowly, making me smile at her, "is it anxiety?"

"Yeah," I bit my lip, laying on my back. "Social anxiety."

My smile was calm yet my mind was completely unsteady. It was s little hard for me, knowing she figured it out pretty easily...she wasn't the case, though. I was worried about Jackson's opinion's outcomes.

"Don't worry. Jake should be fine with it. If he isn't then I don't even know if he's the one, Lia."

"That's right. Though I'm not worried about his opinion...I'm worried about how his opinion would affect people around us at school."

"Lia," she chuckled, shaking her head slowly. "Jackson being popular had you become popular. If he reacts to it negatively it wouldn't be a problem. If the school gets any rumors spread, then your confidence could simply break it from something you hide to something you embrace."

Her words filled my body with warmth as the thought of Ross captured me.

"It's alright to have a flaw, Lia. We all have défauts, but a flaw seems to have a bigger effect on us and our confidence. I want you to believe in that your flaw makes you unique, to believe that it's simply a significant trait in you. That's how you get to embrace your inner beauty, and that's how you get to know who to trust in being a partner to embrace your flaws with you."

"Come on in."

It's hard to cope with Rydel treating me as a long known friend.

Being frustrated would be a good way to express my state.

She automatically sat on the couch, waiting for me to sit by her, which I reluctantly did.

God, please help me.

"So," I held my hands together before clearing my throat, "how about we get to know you?"

"I'm Rydel, I'm 25 and I deal with depression."

Lie.

"Have you visited any psychiatrists before?"

"Yes, I have actually. About three."

Another lie.

"How did they turn out?"

"Not too well. I was searching for something but I just never seemed to find it."

The way she was too straightforward dug a knife deep into my ribs. I felt awfully sick.

Dear god, let your universe swallow me right now.

"Have you noticed a pattern of the way you face depression or is it spontaneous?"

Her eyes diverted to mine, making me drown in her hazel eyes, "Pretty spontaneous."

"Do you think, from your perspective, that there's a reason behind it?"

"Yes."

I liked the way she put her plan. I love the way she wanted to deceive me into thinking I believed she needed time to tell me about her "depression".

But the fact that she didn't realize I've spent my life studying body language and psychology dissatisfies me.

"I just hate that...I get to hurt people just to get closer to wounded hearts. I hate that it's also self-destructive,"she sighed heavily, resting her chin on her fist, leaving her inches away from me, "it makes me feel like a bad person...and eventually, my self-esteem gets to be a little—,"

"Sad," I whispered nervously, feeling her gaze shift to my lips.

My body was frozen, but my mind was doing its best to tell me to stop, to warn me that I'm cheating.

Which made no sense and yet I understood it too well.

"Exactly," she breathed, making me feel her cherry flavored lips which caused me to back my head off.

I looked at her, shaking my head slowly. "I can't."

Of course, I couldn't. I wouldn't do so even if it just to please her.

"Why?" She whispered, making me swallow the lump I've formed in my throat.

"Rydel..."

"You're not, are you?" Her tone never changed. Inaudible whispers that only o could hear. Inaudible muffles that only I could feel. Yet it still hurt too badly. "It is you."

Her words built tears up in my eyes. I couldn't tell whether they were sad tears or tears of relief, I couldn't tell whether I was sad or relieved.

She gasped for air, before taking me in her arms, making my tears pour endlessly. I sobbed hard, I sobbed too hard for her to cope holding back her own tears.

"It's you, Ross. Ross Shor Lynch."

My breath hitched up my trachea and I sobbed louder, hugging her closer. I had to have the ability to catch my breath before confirming her thoughts.

"It's you, Rydel. Rydel Marie Lynch."

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