"Tonight at the beach resort? When's it going to be? Uhuh...I'll see what I can do. My girlfriend? Mmm...I don't know...I'll think about it and sort everything out. Alright. À plus tard."

I don't know if waking up to Ross' voice only is a blessing. I sure did wake up smiling, but his features are what keep me calm. His pats, his light, finger touches, his presence. I needed it all....god, I must be way too selfish.

My eyes scanned the large room, feeling the warmth of the sun occupy my light skin in the best way possible. I grabbed a breath-mint from my bag, having one realizing I completely forget my morning utensils. I fixed my hair nonetheless, tied it in a messy bun and left the bed to have his inaudible mumbles lure me.

He entered the room, looking up at me with his wide eyes, a little surprised I woke up. "Good morning, you woke up too early."

His chuckle filled the air, and I couldn't help but smile happily, feeling the true morning blossom with his presence, and his golden drunk complexion that stood out with the rising sun, toning his naked torso.

"I had to revise before my exam."

"You set it at 1 pm?"

I nodded softly, feeling my smile reflect on his worried face. "In about four hours."

I walked back to the bed, crossing my legs on it and looking at him as he followed.

"Girlfriend?" I smirked lightly making his eyes widen as the brightest shade of red covered his cheeks.

"They don't know we broke up a while ago...it's a party they have tonight at a beach resort. We have them every now and then," he laid back, with his hands behind the back of his head, smiling lightly. "Every doctor takes their spouse. I'd usually take dates and spend good times."

"Sounds fun," I smiled, watching him stare at the ceiling, a little grin covering his lips.

"It does," he shrugged, his little smile vanishing away as a pout took over, "though I won't be able to go tonight."

"Why not?"

"No date. That'd just make it a lot more awkward for me. And I don't really feel like asking anyone out," he looked at me, smiling sadly as I bit my lip softly, watching him gaze into my eyes. He seemed too dazed off to realize the way his stares affected me, and I had to break the intense eye contact to stare at my fiddling fingers.

"Do you want to go out with me?" He spoke up, making my widened orbs lookup in response to his completely inappropriate words. "N-not like a date, but like, a little hangout..."

"Jackson..."

"I'm not introducing you as my girlfriend for your own safety...unfortunately," he smirked playfully, making me attempt to hide my shyness with a light giggle. "If I were to do that, would've totally shown you off to everyone."

I lost it when he winked, completely red despite the fact that it was all but a little mischievous method to make me blush.

"You've got to stop making me red 25/8," I chuckled, looking up at him shyly as he laughed at my coyness. "But, yeah. I'd love to. But what are you going to say about your «girlfriend»?"

"I'll just be completely honest."

"I guess it's always the best to do."

It is the best to do...especially between certain people.

Yet here I am, hiding my entire life from my so-called boyfriend and friends, courtesy of my trust issues that don't appeal when it comes Ross.

******************

"You have ten minutes left!"

I don't know if I was tense because of the little amount I had left to revise my answers or if I was too tense thinking about Ross coming to pick me up.

I don't know if my tension was of excitement or of worry, but the fact that I'm going out with him right after my last exam is exhilarating.

I read through the last question on my paper before leaving the pen to lay back against the wall, watching everyone ahead of me.

"Miss, if you're finished and ready to leave, you can. A guardian is waiting for you at the reception."

I nodded, opening my paper one last time, checking I had every question written along with my information in it.

I collected my tools, standing up to leave the hall slowly, grabbing my backpack and my phone.

"Lia!"

I whipped my head towards Andrea's voice, smiling at her as she caught up with me.

"Hey, how did you do?"

"It was pretty easy. Just a lot of questions."

"It was," I smiled, pointing at her new bangs that covered her eyebrows as she snickered, "it looks very cute on you."

"Ted said so too. Though I look literally eight."

"You just look adorable," I shrugged, giggling lightly making her blush. "Are your parents picking you up?"

"Yeah. We're having dinner tonight. Ted gets to meet mom and dad," she bit her lip making me awe. The fact that he's already meeting her parents proves nothing but seriousness. Dedication too, since they haven't been together for that long. "Is someone picking you up?"

"Yeah, actually," I gulped, looking down as we approached the school gate.

Hiding the effect of having him cross my mind only is hard. His impact on me is way too powerful for me to cope hiding. Nonetheless, I guess I have to let them know. If not Jackson, then Andrea and Ted.

"Who's that?"

"Not dad. It's a long story. Sleepover tomorrow? We've got a lot to talk about."

"Sure. I'll see you then?"

"Of course," I smiled, opening the car door, "take care."

"How did your exam go?" His voice startled me as soon as I entered the car, making me jump slightly in my seat.

"Jeezies gramsbinge, Ross!"

"Jeezies gramsbinge?" His giggle had me stomping my feet, crossing my arm and look at the window to avoid his teasing stare. "And you argue about not being a baby..."

"Well, thanks for asking. I did pretty well," I bit my lips, trying to hold back my smile as he grabbed my cheeks to make me look at him.

"Of course you did, you're a princess after all," his eyes lit up watching my cheeks redden.

Making me shy has to be his new, soul-nourishing hobby.

"Now we head to the mall for 1. a dress and 2.....who does your fancy makeup?"

He handed me the Starbucks steaming beverage, taking a sip of his own as my eyes widened.

Dress? Makeup?

"1. I don't have any money and 2. If you're talking about last time's, it was Rydel."

"1. Who said you need money when I'm around and 2. She's away so I guess we're going to a spa."

"Ross, I'm not letting you spend more money on me," I held his hand, stopping him from turning on the car ignition, vigorously shaking my head as my frown showed nothing but protest.

Sometimes I wish Dad and I were mentally connected. He would've told me what to do now instead of literally throwing me into a situation where I'm banging on every wall.

"Lia," he left the key to hold my hand, the excitement in his voice fading lightly. "I had the honor of taking you out tonight this morning, which may not be that much of a big deal for you because you have a boyfriend- god... don't get me wrong. I'm just taking tonight seriously because you're going to be in it. And if it were to be an actual date, I would want to take my date out to try on the prettiest, most beautiful dresses just to have her feel as beautiful as I think she is. I know you're not one to look at money as a treasure, for a 25-cent ring could make you the happiest girl alive, but I really want to show you how beautiful you really are. And I'm going to use this opportunity to the fullest to prove to your mind that you, are in fact absolutely ethereal. So please, let me 1.buy you a dress, 2.take you to a spa and 3. Show you off tonight as everyone stares at nothing but you, too blinded by your beauty to notice your personality which only I and a few others are lucky enough to witness all of it."

I loved the feeling of my hands in his.....

I loved more the feeling of his words lingering in my ears...and I wished I had taken him wrong, but his eyes shined nothing but pure truth. A truth that never required the words, 'don't get me wrong'.

"Okay," I softly said, sitting up a little to softly plant a kiss on his cheek.

If simple actions have us blushing nonstop, perhaps we're under a deserted sea of a mesmerizing beach.

We're blind.

****************

"Let's run 'em errands."

"We only have shoes left."

A long day of shopping is a long day of messing around and trying things I thought would be iconic. I loved the results. A perfect smile on a perfect man.

"Black pumps. Sexy, classy and would make me look 21. Don't worry. I'm not going to get wasted," I felt his hands on my waist, leading me inside the shop.

"You're just using our anti-suspicion plan to drink," he chuckled making me bite my lip, holding back the escaping guilty laugh. "What size are you?"

"38.5, if not available then 39 would do fine."

He sat me down on the black, fancy couch as I started taking my converse off along with the socks.

Ross was going to throw a tantrum once we parked the car close to the most elegant mall in town, with nothing but costly shops for gowns, tuxedos, shoes, even furniture. I couldn't simply apply to his idea, so arguing was a plan...a failed plan.

"What do you think about this one?" He showed me a pair of high, burgundy pumps, with sparkly designs drawn on it with the same color shade, giving a blinding highlight under the light. "I think it'd go well the dress. White and red go amazing together."

"Wowzies," I whispered, trying it on as he kneeled in front of me, chuckling lightly.

Standing up, I held his hands before walking to the mirror.

My legs looked fine. The red was contrasting my somewhat light skin, giving it the perfect tone.

"I love it," I contained my excitement, looking at the mirror wonderingly before turning to see Ross smiling at me.

"Go for it?"

"Totally," nodding, he left the bags near the cashier, handing him his visa as I sat down to take it off, watching one of the ladies in charge boxing it up for me.

I put on my shoes, tying them up before I stood to see Ross holding another bag. We left the shop with an excited me, though it didn't last long until my phone buzzed in my skirt's pocket.

"Jackson," I mumbled, following him to a stop near a jewelry shop. "Asking where I'm at."

"Just tell him you're with your uncle."

"No, I'm done with lying," I bit my lip, catching his attention as my hands worked on the phone. "I'm just going to tell him I'm busy and that we need to talk tomorrow."

"Really? You're really going to do that?"

"Totally. If he's planning on taking me seriously, then he has to accept the fact that I'm mentally ill and that I visit a therapist."

I was more than serious, though I wasn't anywhere near sad. I wasn't happy either. Being with Jackson is being in a whole different world; A world where I'm completely emotionless.

"Jackson is just grey, you know?"

"And yet you're still sure you're going to tell him?" He adjusted his glasses, making me stare wonderingly into his hazel eyes, clearly seeing them screaming the complete opposite.

"What have I got to lose?"

"Him," he calmly uttered, gulping after my eyes went completely blank.

"If me being emotionally vulnerable would draw him away then I should slam the door the moment he leaves."

I felt powerful. His eyes were sending me every little ounce of strength by every second as I spoke. All I needed to do was stare into beauty.

"Don't deny your approval of my words, Ross. It's okay to hate my boyfriend."

This time, it was him who broke the stare, looking down at his feet as I felt my blood rush to my head.

"You're bound to get me on my feet. I hope I get to have you as my therapist. Even if it was for once," I smiled at his confession, knowing it took a lot from him to blurt these words out.

"You're a huge part of my life...everyone I know has to accept that fact."

His smile warmed my heart, never failing to transfer to my lips slowly.

"Thank you, Lia, I'm honored," he slowly put my hand in his as we walked towards the parking of his car. "We have to get going to the beach house, get some sleep, and then be up a few hours before the party so you can head to the spa as I get ready."

"You're still insisting on that?" I frowned, standing in front of the black Mazda as he placed the shopping bags in the backseat.

"Yes. We're not talking about that again."

"Alright. Sorry."

"It's okay, princess."

I honestly couldn't wait until I was home. I don't mean my house, I don't mean his, or the beach house. I mean his arms, where I can feel safe enough to rest and break every habit I've achieved over all these years.

I felt a wave of guilt wash over me.

He's home and I'm accommodated in the heart of another male. And right now my body is fighting my needs with emotions I can't interpret, just the way seas fight sea stacks. Uselessly. In vain.

All I want is to cut the hurricane my emotions are in and rest in the arms of safety.

I want him.