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"Is it wrong? Am I wrong? I- honestly I give up. I can't even stand having him too close to me without-"

"Lia! Girl, calm the hell down!"

This was all too frustrating for my state...I couldn't function properly anymore with this one, hell piece of sweet cupcake of a girl trying to tell me that kissing her boyfriend didn't feel the way she thought it would.

My attraction towards her had the same principles of the moon's gravity towards Earth.

Jackson was planet Pluto.

The kiss I gave her had every single emotion shocking her lips from mine...what I never realized was due to me giving her such dosage, her kiss with Jackson turned out to be, well, planet Pluto..again.

But I couldn't contain my feelings for her...I was overpowered during that kiss.

"I think I'm stressing way too much,"she sighed making me bite my lips, laying back on the bed.

"You think? Look, princess...you're not going to be Jackson's princess until he earns your trust."

"It's not intentional...I just panick around-"

"You don't panic around me," I cut her off, feeling her uneven breaths making me furrow my eyebrows. "Why is that?"

"I-I don't know...I guess I just feel safe around you."

My heart was swelling nonstop by this moment... safe. The only word I had to hear from her to get my cheeks burning red and my heart pleading to be free from the cuffs some scientist decided to call ribs.

I stopped talking, stared at the ceiling and imagined how my life would be complete if she ever let me in and granted herself. I wanted to be her safe place, a place where every ounce of stress fades away and no harm could ever be caused..my desire to mend her broken heart overpowered my eagerness to put a finger on her mental syndromes.

"Ross?" She whispered making me sigh frustratedly.

"Do you want to come over?"

"Right now?"

"Yes," I bit my lip, getting up to slip on a shirt and collect my keys. "I'm coming to pick you up. Stay over tonight at mine. Your father isn't home anyways."

"Okay..I can't deny I need company tonight," her word made me smile sadly..if only she knew I needed her just as much as she feared loneliness.

"I'll be there in five," I informed her, already on my way to her house. She hummed, before saying her temporary goodbyes and left me in my deep, dark thoughts.

Ones that felt like a huge amount of nervousness, guilt and fear thrown at my chest all at once.

I was tired of being stressed...tired of the lack of peace I've had inside me.

I wanted this girl way too badly to cope with helping her get over her shyness to be with another boy. I wanted to treat and free her from the mental illness cuffs and embrace her forever...I wanted to show her the huge space inside my heart that was long empty, driving me sad for years until I found her...realizing that god had saved this spot for her.

But life was never of good luck, and I still couldn't get her to be with me to fill my emptiness and let me fill hers.

I parked beside her house, honking twice to see her come out ... and goddamn.... I had a feeling she was trying to murder me with that mini, leather, tight skirt, a lace, red bralet with only a thin, see through scarf wrapped around her arms.

Well, Fuck.

I stared, not bothering to take my eyes off..not even after she opened the door and sat.

Hell, I was even more attracted after seeing her curled her and flirty eyelashes behind her glasses from up close.

"What?" I heard her mutter, making me shake my head, still completely speechless. She glanced down at her outfit before chuckling lightly.

"Oh, this? I went shopping with Rydel Today."

My lips pursed the moment Rydel's name rolled out of her lips...almost as if awakening me from my staring fit.

I shook the thought of her away and smiled at Lia softly. "You look amazingly beautiful."

"Thank you," she blushed, looking down at her hands making my heart flutter. I knew there was so much more to know about this innocent, captivating girl. "I do feel better about myself in it..perhaps a little shy but I feel beautiful."

"Just so you know," I paused bringing the car ignition to life, using that as an excuse to divert my eyes away from hers. "You look beautiful however your hair is, in whatever you're dressed in, during any time."

I don't think she was able to form any other words after my complement, well, my confession. But I was totally fine with that...any moment with her was a peaceful moment, a comfortable kind of peace.

After a good five minute drive, I parked the car and entered with her into the penthouse gate.

Lia pressed on the floor and waited close to me, softly resting her head on my bicep. Her little hands wrapped around my forearm, inhaling deeply, while my own breath hitched by the cause of her actions.

I tried containing my feelings, getting in with her to plop on the closest couch. We stayed still for a while, our eyes glued to the ceiling with the quiet atmosphere surrounding us. I was pretty sure both our minds were as unstable as a hurricane.

"I want to get drunk," I heard Lia mutter, making me turn my head to look at her.

If that isn't my state twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, three hundred sixty five days a year...

I stood up to the fridge, taking out the stoli vodka, two glasses and walking up to her shocked, frozen body. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," I muttered, pouring the enlightening drink before handing her one. "I'm a bad therapist, aren't I?"

She let out the arousing giggle of hers and clinked the glass with mine, "to expensive vodka and another good therapy session."

Only I knew I needed that more than she did, which was why she was full after only one glass.

I, on the other hand, had three to restrain my unconscious, drunk state. I wanted to stay sober for the night, and although I wasn't fully sober, I felt a good wave of numbness.

"Today was a little weird," she scooted closer towards me, and I, out of the affect of the soothing atmosphere, wrapped my arms around her shoulder.

"Tell me about it."

"Shopping with Rydel made me consider changing my look...what people online call 'glowing up'."

And once again, my pulse increased and my breath hitched at the memory of the blonde. "Rydel...."

I felt Lia turn to look at me, her eyes propagating through my vision, seeing what she was never supposed to see. "You don't like her?"

"I can't not like my sister."

Perhaps I wasn't fully conscious, but I couldn't care less. I was tired of burying my entire life deep inside, and I was given the chance to open up... I wasn't even regretting opening up to that breathtaking soul sat in my arms.

Her reaction got my body physically worried where my palms suddenly felt extremely sweaty. "She never told me you guys were siblings."

"Well...that's because she never knew..."

"How is that even possible?" I was relaxed and stable that she was taking so slowly...but my mind was about to explode with oppression.

Therapists are mentally ill, too...

"Aren't you guys family?"

I diverted my eyes, shaking my head continuously, placing the fourth glass back on the table, scoffing. "I never had a family and I would never consider the married couple who had sex and waited nine months to give birth to me, my parents."

My diverted eyes locked with her hazel ones again and I suddenly regretted looking into them. Her stare embraced me, comforting my heart and refracting her currently quiet self to emerge as a pleading eye, asking me to tell her more just to seek my comfort.

"Rydel last saw me the day I turned 12 before traveling away to her boarding school," I started, my eyes abruptly tearing, making me feel completely vulnerable. "Leaving the boring, nerdy, introverted, depressed, anti social Ross behind. Leaving me with two crucially heartless people I called mom and dad."

Her body suddenly felt cold against mine, a wave of sympathy transferring from her to my eyes. "Imagine having your parents drive you to an 'academic summer camp' on the other side of the country just to discover later on that it's 'lakeside academy'....a shelter for homeless, given up on, children. My parents gave up on a human being whom was depressed ever since turning nine because, well, it was too much for them to deal with a child they accidentally had and on top of that turn out to be a loner, unloveable crybaby."

I was now surrendering under her sad stare, tearing helplessly as the words I swore to keep until the day I die, emerged.

"Being confused and attached from the heartbreak, I spent three months in the room I was kept in, figuring out a way to hack through the phone and know exactly what was up, and if the heartless words my mother had written in her diary that I kept were real. But it's not easy for a twelve year old to hear their mother talking to their sister through the phone to inform her about her alive brother's death, and to invite her over for a funeral god knows how they planned it. Do you realize how fucked up that is? Faking a funeral to hide their crime of giving me up? Using money to fake every single thing about their fake lives??? It's not easy to see my sister after all these years of bleeding lies, it never is and it will never be."

I had to gain breaths after holding back sobs to tear without crying, holding them back in disbelief of the memories that were suddenly resurfacing.

"If I were to see my parents now, whether its actually them or their souls, I would let the words burn into their rotten conscious. I would look them in the eye, stand up straight, and tell them with eyes full of pride, 'Look at me now.' , mom and dad! Look at the hopeless child you left in the hands of an amazing elder who she raised to be the greatest therapist in the country! Look at the depressed soul you gave up on raising whom is now reviving broken hearts and healing mental illness! , and look we're I've gotten without you.

"I wouldn't only do that, no....no no no, I would take the love of my life and show them that the unloveable human being they've left behind is now madly in love with an amazing girl whom appreciates and believes in him. A girl whom took his heart and treated it with such love hat she mended the so called heart that you broke."

Oh, how it was hard to pour out three quarters of my heart to her with tears streaming down my face...how relieving it felt to finally leave the enormous ball of oppression fire I had kept with me for a lifetime, how it was hard to scream that I wanted that girl to be her in order to complete my needs...

And just as I sobbed out the words, yearning to be said through my mouth, through my bloodshot eyes, she read every syllable with her own...and crashed her lips on to mine.

Those lips that I was now a hundred percent sure that they would never fit perfectly with mine....those lips that were far from being made to seal with mine and yet, created a kiss that required more than just age difference and name titles to be broken. A kiss that held my heart and had it fighting to escape my entire body.

I have never had such an outburst with such a loud mind...never have I ever gotten way out of control to the point were her hands in my hair locks and her lips dancing passionately with mine made me forget the fact that she had a boyfriend, and that she was coming for release and not more drama.

I only let my tears pour as she gave me the reviving kiss, having me regret kissing back because I knew too well that she's going to hate me after this.

I had to pull away.

And I did, to feel my heart beat even louder...not in happiness, but in sadness to what I knew I was just about to face.

Her hands traveled from my hair to my cheeks, staring at me with her swollen lips before giving me another peck, whispering,

"keep this kiss a secret for my sake."