❦ SESSIONS ❦ WITH ❦ LOVE❦

Chapter 18

|The story|

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Stuffing my face with ice cream I've already eaten four scoops already, and I love it. I offered Silas a bowl, but he refused, said that he only wanted to watch me eat it. "How did you win?" Silas asks me, but I only give him a smile. What no one knows is that there is no secret behind it. I just shrug. "I just played the game. There is no other reason" I tell him and that is the truth. There is no other reason for it. Besides, I don't think Silas noticed something about Ace which I saw.

Ace could not take his eyes off Trina, and she could not take his eyes off him. The voice told me that they were flirting with one another, and they would hitch it off when Silas and I would leave. I think that is the only reason why I won because Ace was not even focused on the game itself. Though, even when I have to say that he does play it well, and he's rather good at it, and I'm sure he would have won if he had not been distracted by Trina.

Still, I think that the two of them really do match and that they will love each other one day in the same way that I love Silas and there is nothing and no one that can tell me that won't happen. "You won because you are the best" He says to me. The red forms in my cheeks as the blood rises inside me. My heart is beating inside my chest only for him and no one else, I don't even think that it is beating for me, but it does for him, that is the way that I like it.

My stomach has begun to hurt, but I love ice cream and I don't want to stop eating it. "Silas?" I ask him after some time. He has been playing with the shell necklace around his neck which he hides from view but when we are alone he takes it out and can barely stop playing with it. "Yes?" He asks me. I can see the love in his eyes that he has whenever he looks at me, and I'm sure that the love is the same in my eyes when I look at him as it is the love that I feel inside my chest, and it is bright and true.

"Am I normal?" I ask him. For some time I have been thinking that I'm not like anyone else and while that is a quality that should be amazing, I feel that I'm not someone that people want. Why? I don't know yet, but I have these thoughts in my head, and they just won't go away. "No. You're not normal" He says. I stop eating ice cream and look up at him with tears in my eyes, but he just gives me a small smile, a real smile.

My eyes meet his kohl black ones but this time I can't see what is inside them. "You're not normal like all the other women in the world, but normal is not what I want. I want you, Leanna. No one else. I don't want you to be normal. I want you to be you. No in else" Silas says to me. The tears are running down my cheeks and landing on the table. But, these are happy tears. Nothing other than that. The love that I have for Silas is just amazing, and I love that he doesn't want me to be someone else.

He wants me and no one else. "I love you" I say to him and take his hands after I've wiped them off as I had some ice cream on my fingers. No one can eat ice cream and not get some on their fingers. It's simply impossible. 'For you' The voice says, and I almost roll my eyes at her words. I think that she's in a bad mood, well she always is in a bad mood, but that is beside the point. "I love you" He says to me and I know it is the truth and nothing but the truth.

"I think it's time to put an end to this before you get sick. You're still recovering" He says to me and I roll my eyes. But, nonetheless I do allow him to take away the ice cream and set it back into the freezer. I will have to visit this freezer soon enough, and I will have to eat that ice cream. Silas made one mistake. He showed me where he keeps the ice cream and the best part is that it's not the only ice cream flavor that is there. I think that I was able to see at least a dozen or flavored in there.

If I'm not wrong (and I never am) I would say that there is only ice cream in that freezer and that is the best of it. "I need a session" He speaks to me and I nod my head. I know that there are things that he wants to get off his chest, and I'm going to be here to listen to him and hear what he has to say. After all I'm not only his therapist, but I'm also the one that loves him and I want him to be happy and safe and let go of the pain.

I want him to become the best version of himself. "All right, can I go to the bathroom first, I really need to pee?" I ask him and he laughs. His laugh makes my heart flutter in ways that only he can make happen. "Of course" He says. "But after that I will have you all by myself" He says and gives me a smirk. There is a look in his eyes that I can't tell what is, but I do like it. 'It's called lust' The voice says in this duh tone.

As if I was supposed to know that, but I don't know everything in the world and neither is that even possible. No one can know everything. Though I know more about Silas than anyone. I even know more than Ace, his best friend. Even when I was with the two of them for a short while I realized that they are not the types that share their feelings but in my line of work I take notice that men are less likely to share their feelings, I find that horrible, and it needs to change.

Men are human as well and do have feelings, and they need to share what they are feeling because keeping feelings bottled inside is never a good thing. Silas takes me to the bathroom and when I'm done he walks with me to the office where we will have our session. "Why don't you just set me down in the wheelchair?" I ask him but he just chuckles. "Because holding you is much easier, and it will help me calm me down" He answers me and I let out a laugh.

He's so strange sometimes but at the same time I will have to agree with him because without his arms around me, I don't feel like myself. I need him to hold me and being without him, I find that there is no warmth that can touch me. I could be in the middle of a heat wave and still find that the cold is biting me so hard that I would not be able to survive that cold, without the touch that only he can give me, I'm cold, and I feel like I'm all alone but with him, I feel whole and me, I feel loved, and I feel everything.

My body needs him. It does not get more simpler than that. As he sets me down on the chair he gives me a look. "Hopefully you will not confess your undying love for me again. We have other matters to speak about" I tell him. I see that his smirk does fall a bit, but it is there. I did have a feeling that he was going to continue telling me that he loves me and everything like that. It is his way of avoiding things that need to be said.

"I have another thing that I want to talk about. Something that I've never said to anyone" He says. I told the pencil in my hand and nod at him, give him a small smile. To let him know that he's at a safe place, and he can speak to me about anything. I well never judge him and bedsides I love him more than anyone. Silas takes a deep breath and his kohl black eyes meet my eyes and there is sadness in them. "I was not always this person that I am now" He tells me.

"I never wanted to be the leader and I never wanted to be the one to kill. I never wanted it all" He begins. His eyes never stray form mine. As if he's trying to hold onto mine to keep him safe, and I allow him that. Never will I allow him to sink into this darkness that people get taken into when they speak about their past. "When I was eight I killed for the first time" He speaks to me. I can imagine that this is hard to say for him, and he's doing all he can to not break down.

"At the time I didn't understand why I liked it, but I did. Having that kind of power was something that I had never known. I was the one that people texted horribly, and I never wanted to feel that way again. I had tried to get as war away from them as I could, but they caught me. They molded me into someone else, but I hid who I was inside. The person that wanted them dead and then when I was eleven I ended it all" Silas says. I write down what he says, even when I don't really understand what he's saying.

He just needs to say it. His story does not make sense to me, but it does to him, and he's finally accepting the past and finally becoming the one that he wants to me. That is all that matters, not the part where I have to understand. "I told them that no one would ever make me feel like that again. So helpless and alone and trapped and lost. Never again I told them, never again. And then I killed them all. I had planned to go somewhere else, but then the men wanted someone else to lead them, and I was the strongest, even as a child" He says.

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Silas told me about how he ruled as this leader of what is called the Mafia. He told me that he hated every second of out, but he loved killing people and he did so every single day. His enemies he struck down and from them on he become the most dangerous criminal and the most wanted in the world. People feared him. But, he did not car.e he loved nothing more than to torture people to get what he wanted, and he would get it, no matter who dies or lives, he gets what he wants.

The empire that he built grew and grew until he was known all over the world. His name become the one people feared, but he laughed in their face. Killing become his sport and he did so every single day. Not that I can blame him for that, killing is one of the best feelings in the world and I love killing and allowing the blood to pain the prettiest picture on the walls. There is one thing that Silas has not yet told me, and I am still confused about it.

"How did they catch you?" I ask him. He raises an eyebrow as if he does not understand my question. "You were caught and taken to the prison, how? You said that you were the one that no one could catch, but they did catch you, didn't they?" I ask him and Silas smirks. That smirk I know too well. "They did not catch me, I gave myself up. There was something that I needed to do and someone to get out of there" He says to me.

"You wanted to get caught?" I ask him and he nods his head. I write that down in my notes. I had never thought that he wanted to get caught, but I suppose it all makes sense. Since he even claimed so himself that's while he was the most wanted criminal in the world, no one could catch him. Not even the most experienced police officers or private people that worked to catch people or a living, whatever they are called. So, he wanted it all. He's so clever saw he planned it from the beginning. I will never understand how he is able to do that.

"I was there for you, Leanna" He finally says after a moment of two has passed. The smile on his face and the love in his eyes is what makes me stop writing and look only at him. "Why?" I ask him. It's strange that he let himself be caught so that he could find me. We just met that day when he came into my office. Still, I don't understand it. We did not know each other. I'm rather confused of this. "That is a story for another day" He tells me and I frown.

My smile has been turned upside down into a frown and I don't like that, I don't really like frowning that much. "Tomorrow?" I ask him and he laughs. "No. But someday I will tell you everything about it. Too much information you won't be able to handle, and it's not good for you to get too much at the same time. Still, I promise you that lone day you will know the truth. For now, I want to kiss you. I have been wanting that the entire time. Watching you bite your lips has made me want to do things to you that you don't even know what are" He says.

Silas wastes no time to kiss my lips and I welcome him. I want to feel his body on mine so badly and my body needs him more than I could ever say, and I don't even think that I understand myself just how much I need him. I have this feeling between my thigh that is eager to have him and I need him. We kiss so deeply, and I get to taste him and be near him where I get lost in the world, as if nothing matters but this, him and me together is all that matters.