❦ SESSIONS ❦ WITH ❦ LOVE❦

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Trina breaks down into tears and I don't waste any time to hug her, to make her feel safe. She's so sad, and I want to help her, but I don't think there is much that I can do to help her at all. "I wish I could have seen the pretty picture that you created when you hurt him. The blood would have been incredible to see everywhere" I tell her, and she laughs a bit. "Lea... Thank you" She says to me. I'm just so glad that we're here together and that she's safe.

'You're also glad to have harmed someone' The voice in my head says to me. Lately I feel that she's only there to insult me. But, if we're going into the subject then it was you who to torture him. Was it not you who took over my body and did those things to him? When she doesn't answer me, I know that I've won that argument, but that's not relevant right now since all that matters now is Trina. We have been so long without one another, and I feel like things are falling into place now.

We hug for some time and then when we break the hug she wipes off her tears and sniffles a bit. I just give her a soft smile. Letting her know that everything is all right now. Her eyes drop to the seashell necklace that is around my neck. "That's pretty" She whispers, her voice is a bit hoarse from crying. I beam. "Thank you. I made it myself. And I even made one for Silas. Though he does hide it under his t-shirt. I don't think that he wants people to know that I'm good at making necklaces because then I would have to make them for everyone" I tell her, and she bursts out laughing.

She lightly shakes her head. "Yeah, let's go with that thought" She says. I don't understand what she means by that, but I laugh anyway. "I really do love it, I had no idea that you could create a necklace that pretty" She tells me and gestures to look at it closer. I smile a bit and take the necklace off, only for a second, and then hand it to her. She looks at it and I can see the smile on her face when she holds it.

"I can make you one someday" I offer, and she looks at me with this shocked look on her face before she smiles at me and hugs me. "That would be amazing, thank you" She tells me and hands me the necklace once again. I like this moment. Just the two of us and I feel that we're both the people that we should have been when we met. I can tell that she's much happier now than she was before, and I'm much happier, but only because I have Silas in my life.

With him in my life I know that I'm always going to be happy. I hear a loud sigh in the back of my head. All right, fine I do need you as well, but that's different, and you know it. I put on the necklace and then take her hand. "You know, I had always wondered if you were safe and all right after what had happened" I say to her. The night that Silas broke out of the prison, I wondered what had happened to her, but I did not want to think that much about it.

Only because I did not want to think the worse and I know that it would come to that if I would think about it. I also don't understand why Silas did not tell me that she was working for him and why only now we're meeting when I had been with Silas for some time before I had been taken to Adam. "I wanted to tell you and I wanted to find you, but I was told that you were still healing" She says. I give her a confused look and raise an eyebrow. "Healing?" I ask her retainer confused.

"Yes. When Silas had taken you from them the pills and medicine as they call it were not being directed into your blood stream. You started to see the world like we did, sort of. You changed, and we think that might be because of what the pills did to you and not the person that you are. I can't explain it, but those pills changed you somehow. Made you more childish and when Silas took you off them, you started to behave normally. Or at least you were about to become the better version of yourself, as you would say it. But then you got taken away..." She trails off.

I don't understand much of what she's saying, but I just nod my head. 'You truly are stupid' She speaks in my head. Then you are too because you are me. I love how whenever she insults me she's actually insulting herself in the process which is honestly hilarious. "I don't remember being on any pills" I tell her, and I really don't remember. I have no memories of anyone giving me any pills of any kind, not even the birth control ones. Though, I've never needed them because I've never done things like that in my life, so I never saw the point of taking them.

She sadly scoffs. "Trust me, it's better that you don't remember taking any of them. You were forced to take them and not in a good way" She tells me. Forcing someone to do something can be good? Since she said not in the good way, I just wonder about. There is a groan in the back of my head, but I ignore that. However, when I think about my time in the prison, I can't seem to recall anything out of the ordinary. I don't tell her that, though.

I know that the things that I remember are not the things that actually happened, but that is all right, I'm all right with that. "How do you feel now?" She asks me. For a moment I remain silent as I think of her question and what I can answer her with. "I feel happy" I tell her. That is the truth, I really do feel happy, and I know that has something to do with Silas and us being together. She laughs. "I didn't mean that" She says. Once again I grow confused.

"Then in what way did you mean it?" I ask her, clearly rather puzzled by her question. She takes my hand. "Well, Lea, you went through a great deal. Trauma and pain in ways that I can't even imagine. That is bound to change you in some way... I don't know much about this, I'm certain you know much more about it than I, but I think there is a something inside your heart and soul that is struggling" She explains to me. I take a deep breath as I look into her eyes and nod my head.

"I understand what you mean, but I really do feel fine. In fact, I feel as if I've connected to all the parts inside me and become one. I'm better than I've ever felt. I'm myself" I tell her, not even knowing if she can understand what I mean, but she doesn't need to understand what I mean to hear and listen to what I have to say. I'm a therapist and I know best that listening helps a great deal, listening to the one that is speaking is more help than anything for listening to what they have to say and really allow them to express themselves is what helps them the most, to let all those feelings out into the world where they can deal with them.

Trina and I start talking about everything, and it made me remember about the good times that we shared together before all of this happened. It was just the two of us, and we were happy. Of course, I know things have changed since then, and it will never be the same again, but I also know that my life is perfect. I have the man that I love more than anything by my side and now my best friend. I don't think that I need anything else.

After some time I realize that I've not seen Silas for some time, he said that he would give us a couple of minutes, and then he would come and fetch me but since then it has been a couple of hours. The two of us just talked about everything, like old times. Having my best friend here does make everything better, and I can't believe how lucky I am. The world is better now, and I'm the best version of myself. I feel like I'm finally the person that I've always wanted to be.

"What are you thinking about? You suddenly went all quiet" Trina asks me and I break out of my mind. "I need to find Silas" I tell her. My body feels so empty when he's not with me. Like as if my other half has been ripped away from me where I can't get it. I need him more than I can ever say in words and I doubt that I will be able to explain to anyone the love I have for him. She clears her throat. "Now?" She asks me, I think she's confused.

I nod my head. "I need him" I tell her, the voice inside me says it at the same time. My body feels as if it can't. Be completed without him. My heart is missing something and without his touch I will never be able to fulfill the missing item that I need. It's hard to even breathe without him as I need him more than air itself. I notice that Trina's growing nervous and moving a bit from me, why is she moving away from me? I don't understand it.

"I need him" I say again but this time the voice is the one that speak and once again I'm pushed to the back of my mind where I can only feel what she does, and I can think, and yet she's the one that control my body. 'I am you' She tells me inside my mind. The only thing that she has said for some time now, she has remained silent for a long time which I find is new for her as she would normally be the one to criticize everything that I do and say, but she was silent, perhaps to allow me to have that moment with my best friend.

'I am you' She says again. I heard you the first time, you know, you don't have to tell it to me again. I'm not deaf, but you should know that since you're me. When my eyes look at Trina once again I see fear inside her eyes, the fear of me. It saddens me that she's afraid of me and I don't understand why that is. "Lea, listen to me. It's all right. It's just me. I'm going to get Silas. Just wait here, I will be right back" She tells me in this your fear state that she is in, and she hurries to stand up.

I, or rather the voice doesn't have a time to speak before she has left the room, and I'm in here alone. I stare at the door that she has walked through and closed the door behind her. I can't stand up with my injury and still I feel as though I need to stand up and follow her. I need him more than I have ever needed anything. My body can't handle being without him. The voice starts to murmur words under her breath and I listen to what she says, but these words don't even make sense.

Never have I heard these words before, and they sound perhaps as if a child were speaking them before they have the ability to speak their native language. The way that she speaks, it sounds gibberish and yet at the same time I feel as though I can understand it. I don't know what she's saying, but I feel like I understand the feeling behind it and the context. Silas. He's the only one that has taken over my mind and I know it has taken over hers too.

She's me and I am her. We think alike and the words that she speaks must be about him and the love that we feel for him. We are one. My head is looking down to the ground and at my feet where I gently move them around, not really doing anything with them but let this agony which is other known as time pass by. I need him. I need him. I need him. I'm barely able to breathe, and I need to hold him to breathe, and she does too.

I hear the door open, but I don't look up. "Leanna" The voice of the man that I love is the only thing that breaks me from my thoughts and I look up at him with a smile on my face. However, his look shows me this worry, I don't get it. We're together. He hurries to sit down next to me and take my hands into his. "Leanna" He softly speaks to me. "No" I speak. "I'm not her" I speak. The voice comes from my mouth, but she's the one that speaks and says the words that come from me.

I want her too, she's the one that controls me and I let her, but I choose to let her control me. She's me after all. "Who are you then?" He asks so gently to me. The kohl black in his eyes is the only thing that calms me down and brings me into this relaxing state. My head leans to the side as I grin at him. "Your worst nightmare" I speak and then giggle. The look on my face is wild, and I love breathing now, since he's here I can breathe and be better than I was before.

My eyes catch sight of Trina who looks at me still with that look of fear, as she should be. Of course, she should be afraid of me, I can do things to her that she could not even think of. I can break her body to my will if I wanted to and if need be I will do it. Silas only chuckles and when I look back at him he's smirking. "Trust me, you're not my worst nightmare. Now, I want Leanna back, and you're going to give her to me" He commands to her and I think that she just grows angrier by those words.