❦ SESSIONS ❦ WITH ❦ LOVE❦

|Sessions with Guns|

❦❦

Silas lifts me into his arms from the bed and I let out a laugh. He's so strong and amazingly warm. He makes my heart pound inside my chest with a single look. I don't know how he does it, but I know that I like it and that is all that I care about and should not care about the reason. Then he walks out of the room and into the hallways. After we put on the necklaces that he kept he took me into his arms. The hallways are so familiar, and I like looking at them.

'Because this is our future home, naive' The voice says, and I mentally groan. She's always like this, or I'm always like this. It's confusing, and I don't like her, but I think that I'm starting to like having her in my head. Now my thoughts won't be as lonely, and I can have someone to talk to all day, even when I'm alone. 'Duh' She says, but I choose to ignore that she said that. "I made some new changes to the office. It got... redecorated" Silas tells me as he looks down at me with this sort of smile.

"That's all right" I tell him. 'It means he smashed everything in there' She says in my head. Really? 'Yes' She answers. I guess she knows everything that goes on. How does she do that? "I will like it either way. As long as we have an office" I tell him and give him a smile. I notice that the happy look on his face grows even happier when I say those words. Making my smile grow even wider. When Silas is happy I find that I'm happy. 'Because you love him' She says, once again I ignore her.

She should learn to mind her own business. 'Can't. I'm you' She says and this time I let out a groan and not just mentally. Silas doesn't this as he opens the door and I gasp when I see it. Everything has changed in the office and I like it this way much better. "I love it" I tell him and I land a kiss on his cheek. He stands there still for a second as if he were trying to process what I had done. Then he suddenly gently sets me down on a chair which I find so comfortable.

"I knew you would. I made sure that some of it would be in your favorite color" He says to me and I look around the office. My favorite color is every color and especially the rainbow, and he made sure that there is a pillow in my chair that is rainbow-colored and there is a mug on the desk that has a rainbow on it. Little things but they mean more to me than he could ever know. He sits down on the opposite side and hands me the file that I had on him.

I notice that he's added some notes into it which I will have to take a look later. "Shall we begin?" I ask him with a smile on my face. This feels like old times. Someone clears their throat in my head, how is that even possible? All right, maybe it's not exactly like old times. Of course things are bound to be different, and she's here too. 'Finally' She says. I ignore her, I think that is the best thing to do. 'You're rude' She says. Yeah, yeah. But I'm the one who rules.

Silas nods his head and gestures for me to begin. "So, tell me, is there anything that you wish to talk about?" I ask him as I open on a blank page and hold a pencil in my hand. He gives me a chuckle. "I met a woman" He begins to my smile nearly drops off my face when he says that and this pang forms in my heart. I avoid looking into his eyes even when all I want to do is look deep into his eyes and get lost in them where I will come undone by them.

"She's so beautiful and so kind. I've never met anyone like her. She's brave and a fighter. She fought through death, and she returned to me" He speaks. I write down the things that he says. It makes me feel horrible that he met someone else. That he doesn't love me in the way that I love him. It makes me feel horrible that I love him more than I can even say, and yet he does not care about me, that he may love another. I feel anger run deep through me like never before, still I keep the smile on my face.

I must show him that even when he loves another that I'm happy, that way he will be jealous. "Her gentle nature is all that I need to calm me down and make me feel completed in this world. Her smile compels me as if she were the most beautiful siren that wants to take me down under. I would willingly go there if it meant that I would be with her forever. Her laugh is so sweet that it has me lost" He speaks to me, yet it feels like he's lost in his mind, yet I can feel his eyes on me.

I continue to write down everything that he says. Making a note that he's in love but has a hard time knowing it himself almost. As if he does not know what this feeling that he feels is. Then again it had taken some time for me to realize that I had fallen in love with him. 'I knew it from the moment I laid eyes on him' The voice in my head says which I really wish I could push to the side right about now. This is not her moment nor even mine, it's Silas'.

"All she needs is to smile, and I will be hers. The words which she speaks with her voice are my commands and I will be forever under her control" He says, and I finally look up to meet his eyes. The kohl black eyes that I've fallen so deeply in love with that I've lost myself in them. I cannot stop looking into them and sinking deeper and deeper down into the depths of them. The beauty that they hold are beyond anything that I've ever experienced before, and I find that they can free me in ways unlike anything else.

My heart is pounding inside my chest as if it wanted to break out, and I'm sure that it wants to because like my heart, I want to be with him. I long for his hands to hold me and make me feel safe and make me feel loved because only he can do that and make me feel things that I've never felt before. I know what those feelings are and I know why I feel them. Because I've fallen in love with him, and yet I long for more. I crave for his touch and I feel warm all over, especially between my legs when I think of his touch and his body close to mine.

"Life means nothing without her gaze, without her breath and without her. I mean nothing without her" He speaks. I feel the tears form in my eyes as I can't take this pain. That he truly has fallen for another woman. This anger takes over me, it's an anger that I don't like. I don't like feeling anger. "Do you know I'm telling you this?" He asks me. I think of it for some time, and then I shake my head. Not finding that my voice is there to answer him.

Silas stands up and walks over to me. He goes down on both knees and takes my hand. "The woman that I spoke of... Leanna... it's you" He says. My lips part, but no words come out. I drop the pencil which falls to the ground and I hold his hands. Everything that he said... it was about me? I don't understand. 'You never do' She says. A tear slips down from my eyes. One of his hand goes up and his thumb wipes away the tear.

"Don't you see. It has always been you, Leanna that my heart wants, and it's always you who I've always cared for. Never have I cared more deeply for anyone but you. When I first laid eyes on you, I saw how different you were, but it was a good different. You're not like them. We are not like them. We are one. When we are together we are one and that shines through us" He says to me. I notice that with each word that he says he has a hard time saying the words, as if he's having a hard time getting them out of him.

I give him a smile and hold his hand tightly, yet not tight enough to harm him. "Silas. I love you" I whisper to him. He stops right in his tracks and stares at me. I giggle. Those three words that I said, I don't think that I've said them out loudly before and made them into reality but now that I have, I don't have any regret for them. "I love you" He whispers to me before he slowly begins to lean down and captures my lips with his and kisses me. Oh, my.

❦

We sit beside one another on the bed. I have my head on his shoulder and one of our hands is holding each other. With my other hand I'm tracing the tattoos on his fingers and his arm. "What does that mean?" I ask him as I trace the pattern. It's weird sort of. To me all tattoos are weird since I never understand them, but I know that they mean something to the person that has them on. It means a lot to them and I think all of the tattoos that Silas has mean much to him.

He chuckles. "It's the name that I bear" He tells me. I look closer at it. "Silas?" I ask him but he sighs. "No. The name that was given to me when I became the head of this whole thing. It was actually my best friend that gave that name to me, and it has always just stuck to me. Don't tell him I said that, he'd never let me hear the end of it. When I took over, he took one looked at me and uttered that word before he fell into unconsciousness" Silas says.

His best friend? I don't think that he's ever motioned having a best friend before. "What name was that?" I ask him, I'm actually interested in knowing. Not only because that name means much to him, so much that he had it tattooed on his body. In the shape of some patterned. "Guns" He answers. I look up at him and right into his kohl black eyes. "Guns? Why?" I ask him and he chuckles. "Well, because I had two guns in my hands" He says, and I know that he doesn't want to go into the details.

I look down at the pattern. It has nothing to do with guns at all, or perhaps I'm not really seeing it. 'I like gun' She says in my head. Yes, I am aware of that. "I think it suits you" I tell him, and he raises an eyebrow when I turn to look at him once more. I can't stop looking at him and the beauty that his eyes as well as he holds. And now that I know that he loves me in the same way that I love him, I find that my heart is at peace.

"When can I meet your best friend?" I ask him, trying not to sound hurt that he never told me that he had a best friend. It hurts that Silas never shared that information with me. I'm the one that he loves, am I not? He should be able to tell me everything. Silas chuckles. "If I could choose, I would say never" He says. I'm rather confused at that. "But I want to meet him. I want to know the person that gave you that name and I want to know him because knowing him will allow me to know you and I want to know you" I say.

He sighs. "You're not going to stop asking about it until I let you, are you?" He asks me and I giggle and nod at him. 'I'm sure you would've stopped in a week and forgot all about it' The voice says, and I giggle inside my mind. No, I would not. 'Yes, you would, and you know it' She says. Much to my dismay she's correct. "All right, you can meet him, but I'm going to be supervising" Silas says. I hold his hand tighter and continue to trace the patterns.

"I don't need supervision. I can take care of myself" I tell him. 'Yes, you do. And no, you don't' The voice says. Annoying me while doing so. Don't you start with that. "I know that you can, but it's not you who I'm worried about. It's him. He can be a lot to deal with. Especially when it comes to the opposite gender. Let's say that he's a charmer" He says. I feel this anger coming from him when he says that, but I notice that he's also trying to not be angry at his best friend because who would want to be angry at their best friends? I know that I would not.

"I'm sure that everything will be all right. Besides, it's you who I want. I don't want him as I want you. Though I do want to meet him and perhaps get stories about you from him. I think that will be fun. Then I can have something to use against you when I need to" I say to him, and he laughs and kisses the top of my head. Pulls me even tighter to him, which I don't think is even possible because I'm so tight against him that I can feel his warmth and just about everything.

"Believe me, when it comes to you, Leanna, there is nothing that I would not do and that is why I'm granting this meeting" He says. I giggle and lean to lie on his shoulder again. I hold his hand with mine, and then I close my eyes. Finding that I'm at peace, and I'm happy with him. Never wanting this to end, and I want it forever. Silas and I belong to one another and that will never change and there is nothing and no one that can keep us apart and if they try then I will kill them.