❦ SESSIONS ❦ WITH ❦ LOVE❦

|The same feeling|

❦❦

"WHERE IS SHE!?!?" I yell at him as I punch him in the jaw. His body is nearly falls into unconscious but I don't allow it. The anger inside me is rising with every second that she's not here with me as she's the only one that calm down the beast that lives in my body. The blood-thirsty beast that is ready to kill for her. His bloodied and bruised face leaning to the side as he's bound to a metal chair. The silence that booms around us in the empty basement only makes the fury worse.

The red in my eyes and the hunger for his blood to be spilled is growing with every second that passes by and the longer that I'm not holding her in my arms. "I'm going to ask you one more time; where is she?" I ask him as I pick my knife and start to trace patterns on his skin. I chuckle when the blood is leaking down and he screams in pain but he doesn't even try to speak at all or plead for mercy. It's clear that he's not leaving this empty room alive and we both know it.

When all he does is scream I stab the knife into his thigh and walk out of the room, not caring how much blood my body is covered in. My men are everywhere in the house, doing all they can to track her down. Finding people or sources that can tell where the hell she is. I will find Leanna and when I do she's never leaving me again, no one will ever take her away from me again. I walk the hallways of the house until I've reached her room and despite her being gone for a month I can still smell her scent around here.

Closing the door I let out a sigh as I strip myself of the bloodied clothes in the bathroom and take a quick shower before dressing into new clothes. With my hair dripping with water I go into the main room and look around. Without her here this place is as empty as ever. Leanna was the one that brought the life to it with her laughter and her kindness and also her stubbornness. I chuckle to myself as I can still remember each time that woman defied me in ways that no one else has ever done.

On the nightstand is the seashell necklace that she had made for herself. I still keep mine locked away where no one can see it since she is the only one that can see me with it. I pick it up and sit on the bed. Staring down at the necklace in my hand I can't help but miss her and everything about her and what makes her who she is. Her laughter, her smile, her giggle, her body, her innocence, her eyes, her words, her personality, her scent, her childishness. Her.

They took her away from me and they're going to pay for what they've done with their lives. Leanna belongs to me. She's mine to love and mine to have. I love her. The only woman that I've ever come to love and they took her away but I will get her back and when I do I will kill them all. I will show them why I'm the most dangerous criminal that has ever walked on this planet and they will cower in fear of them. They will cower when they hear my name and they will cower when they see my face but by then it will be too late.

I lie down on the bed and smell the pillow which after so long still has her scent on it and it fills me up and brings me this wave of calmness. I close my eyes and imagine that she's here with me. Laughing at the most ridiculous things and just being Leanna. Being without her has made me want to kill every single person on this planet until she's in my arms again. However this guilt which is a new feeling is beginning to form as I let her slip past my fingers and because of that she's gone.

With her scent around me the anger washes away as if it was never there at all, that is what she does to me yet I allow her. Leanna did not steal my heart, frankly I don't believe she is capable of stealing anything, I gave her my heart willingly and it belongs to her. She doesn't know it yet but she will soon enough. When I've gotten her back to where she belongs. In my arms, she will know how I feel about her and how much I love her.

My phone buzzes on the nightstand as I had laid it there earlier. I pick it up and answer it. "Speak!" I say into the phone and I can already hear the fear that comes from him. Good. "W-we have a new lead" Percy, the new security guy after the last one... died. "Speak faster!" I say to him and he nearly faints, I can almost hear it. He might be new but that does not mean that I will go easy on him. "The car that they used is a rental and it was rented by someone with the name Adam Cross and when we went through the database there is no one with that na-" He says but I hang up.

Even her scent can't stop this anger from rising. I should've known that bastard had her the whole time. I throw my phone against the wall where it shatters but that is the least of my problems. If he has her then this got a whole lot complicated but I will get her back. I stand up from the bed and walk out of the room with the anger inside me only growing by the second. Leanna, I'm coming for you and not even him can keep me away.

❦❦

I laugh. "Adam that's not how you play. Haven't you learned anything?" I ask him as I laugh. He doesn't know how to play a new game I invented. Isn't it funny how I invented a new game and it's amazing. He rolls his eyes at me. "How can I play when you're always changing the rules?" He asks me but I give him a smile and continue to laugh at his foolishness. "You're just a mean bug" I say to him and playfully frown at him but it's hard to not smile. I love smiling.

We're sitting in the living room and playing with a board game and I made new rules and they're just so much fun. Adam told me that I had to wear a handcuff so that I won't attack anyone again. Because I did and I love smashing their skulls at the floor and watching them die. Laughing as the life leaves their eyes. It's so much fun. "Yeah but you love me for it" He says and I giggle. "Of course I do" I lie. I don't love him.

I love Silas but he's also a mean bug. He did horrible things and he was mean. I love him and I want Silas but he's far away and doesn't want me. Adam said Silas gave me away and it hurt. My heart is hurting every day and I don't like it. Why does he hurt me this much? "You put this one there and then you say 'open sesame' before you pick it up and put it on your head" I explain the rules to him, for the twelfth time this hour. He really doesn't understand the rules of a simple game.

But then again Adam has never been very smart but no one tell hm that I said that because then he will be mad. "You're unbelievable, you know that right?" He asks me and I only give him an innocent smile. "The things that are unbelievable are always believable which is why they're called unbelievable" I tell him and burst out laughing but Adam only gives me a confused look which only makes me laugh even harder. He doesn't understand anything at all. How did he even go through life without me? Sometimes I really have to know.

Adam only shakes his head and starts to play the game the way that it was meant to but that is so boring and I want to drop something fun. Stabbing someone or shooting them. Yes, I want to shoot someone. I love shooting people. It's fun and I love it but Adam doesn't let me. He says that I can't hut people but he's wrong, I will not hurt them if I shoot them. Wait... do I? I don't know but at least they will be with the unicorns and angels so they don't have to worry.

"You're still doing it wrong. I want to play a different game. This one's boring" I tell him and he sighs. "You said that about the last ten games that we played" He says and I giggle. Adam is becoming boring lately. He doesn't want to play games anymore. And we need more people but he said that he doesn't want me to be around people because I will hurt them even when I said that I won't. I was with my fingers in a cross and was lying but he did not know that and still denied it. How rude.

"Knock, knock" I say to him. He raises an eyebrow at me but I just give him a smile. Adam is so funny sometimes but he's also a lot of boring but he's a trainer, he's always so grumpy anyway. "Who's there?" He asks with a tired voice. This only makes me laugh even harder and I'm so close to bursting out. "Nose" I say to him. Once again he's looking at me funny but that is the whole point of this. To laugh, but he's not laughing but he will be once I've finished this joke, I know that.

I can see a small smile on his face. It's always there. "Nose who?" He asks me as if he can't even believe what he's saying. I look behind him at the two security guards. Bill and Bill. They're twins and have the same name. I think. I just call them that because both of them have a dollar bill tattooed in their arms which I find funny. "I nose you better" I say and then I burst out laughing and this time Adam can't resist as he starts to laugh too and I notice that Bill and Bill are almost laughing.

They're fun guys to speak too. I've not heard them speak but I can talk and talk and talk around them. Though I wish I could shoot them. That would be a dream come true and I wish that I could shoot everyone in this underground thingy that we're in. I've not seen the sun for so long and I want to because the sun is so happy and I want to be happy too with the sun but I can't so I have to end them all so the sun could shine on me and I could find Silas.

"I love you. You know that, right?" He asks me and I nod my head. Over the last couple of weeks I've made it my mission to find Silas and go back to him because I love him. And even if he doesn't want me then I will shoot him until he does and if he doesn't even when I shoot him then... too bad because he will love me like I love him. I love him with my whole heart and I want him to be with me. "I know you love me" I speak to Adam as I do know how he feels about me, but I don't return those feelings. Not anymore at least.

I loved him once but now I love Silas and I want to be with him and when I find him I know that I will shoot him. At least in the leg so that I can still have the rest of him to love. "Why is a plate round?" I ask him and he shrugs. And raises an eyebrow at me. "I don't know but you're going to tell me anyway" Adam says and I giggle. "Yep. It's because you can eat whether the sun or moon which are both around are in the sky and you can eat all the time or all around the day" I say.

Once again laughing at my joke. I can't help it. I'm just so amazing. It's so funny and I keep coming up with things that only crack me up. Adam chuckles but he doesn't laugh much. "I don't think that's the right reason but we'll go with it" He tells me and I playfully frown at him or I just put my smile in a circle until it is now upside down. I laugh to myself. I did it again. I'm hilarious and no one can tell me otherwise.

"What's so funny?" Adam asks me and I give him a smile, I can't stop smiling. It's too hard because smiling is the way of life and I am alive so I need to smile. "Your face" I tell him and he chuckles as he rolls his. "What do you want to do now?" He then asks me and I think about it for some time until I've found the answer that I'm looking and I really want to do it.

I look down at where the handcuffs are around my wrists and then they are chained to the floor. It reminds me of the prison and how the prisoners were always like. I really do miss the prison and I want to go there again. Adam always says that I should not go there since it's so dangerous to go to the prison now but I told him that I'm ready to work but that was some time ago and I think he forgot that I even asked him which is why I need to refresh his memory now and make him remember.

"Can we go to the prison? My patients need me, I've been away for so long" I ask Adam and he sighs as he takes my hand from over the table. His hand is cold and I don't like it because I want Silas's warm hands to hold me as I love Silas' hands. They're comfortable. Like him. Adam looks at me with a look of sorrow... why? I don't get it. "Lea, sweetie, I think it's best that you know the truth" He says and I give him a confused look at those words. "There isn't any prison. There never was" He speaks to me.