Aquarius

It was hard, knowing that my irresponsibility had led me to question if I could be tasked with the ultimate responsibility. If the situation were different, I would have actually found the irony of the situation funny.

But this was far from funny.

This was terrifying.

Which was why Andromeda's reaction did not surprise me in the slightest.

"You're what?" she screamed, hands on the kitchen counter. "I said I'm pregnant," I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. Andromeda glared at me, eyes wide, brows furrowed, her face the definition of disappointment, when she caught a glance of me. Her expression softened and her hands left the kitchen counter, falling to her sides.

"It's okay. Well figure this out. We'll figure this whole thing out. Do you know who the father is?"

"Yeah. It's Drew."

"Did you tell him?"

"No."

"Are you keeping it?"

"I... I don't know."

Andromeda sighed, looking at the picture of Mum and I in the corner. Mum was barely smiling in that, I thought. She hated being stopped to take a picture. She hated it so, so much. She hated anything and everything that slowed her down, and that included her kids. If she ever found out, she'd be furious and demand an abortion.

"How do you feel about your... your baby?" Andromeda asked, looking incredibly anxious.

"I don't know. It's like... I hate how this happened, but I wonder if maybe this baby could be an escape for me. From this weird life I've carved out for myself. It's going to sound messed up, but I think this baby is my last chance at a somewhat normal life."

"What makes you say that?"

"The thing is, having a kid, it's going to change the way I live. No more partying. No more sneaking around with Drew or with anyone else. My life will... it'll have a purpose. I'll have a responsibility-my own child, my own little person, my own salvation."

I could almost imagine it - Andromeda and I running around, trying to take care of the baby, staying up late and waking up early, but being rewarded for our efforts with those little smiles and those big moments.

I wanted this child. I wanted this child badly. But what scared me was how others would perceive me based on my decision. My mother, for one, would hate me for ruining her busy life. Drew wouldn't be pleased either to know he was going to be a dad. I could imagine his face, a picture of outrage and confusion, upon my telling him what I had decided on.

What would people say? What would people think?

Snap out of it. You've never cared about what others thought. Why start now?

"So you think this child will save you from yourself?"

"Yeah."

"Well, it's your decision, but it sounds to me like you've already decided, Aqua."

.....

I stood in front of Drew's door, taking a deep breath, preparing myself for what I was about to do. Raising my hand shakily, I knocked on the door, placing my hands behind my back as Drew's mother answered. "Hello, sweetheart. I'm sure you're here to meet with Drew-Drew, someone's here!"

Drew came rushing downstairs his expression strangely darkening when he saw me. "Hey, Aquarius," he called. "Come on in-I'll take you upstairs."

I followed Drew in, taking off my coat and hanging it up gingerly.

Even so, I didn't think my etiquette would concern Drew much when I told him what I was doing.

"So, Aquarius, how come you're here?" he asked, sitting next to me on his bed. "I have to tell you something," I explained, doing my best to keep my voice level.

"I actually had something to tell you as well, but you can go first," Drew offered, no longer smiling. "No, you go first," I replied, wanting to know if what he said had any effect on my news.

"Okay. Well, please, don't freak out, but... this thing between us has got to end." Drew paused before stumbling on. "It's been great, you know, having... you, but I think that in the past few weeks, I've found that I've been denying something for a long time.

"It started out small, when I thought that guy Aidan's smile was really cute back in the fourth grade. I ignored it, because I knew all the guys would call me names if I told them what I thought, and I... I told everyone I had a crush on some girl who played soccer with my friends in the afternoon. It was all well and good, until that girl found out. She came up to me at lunch and she told me she liked me too, and just like that, we'd become the first ever fourth grade couple at our school.

"Of course, she loved it, but I hated it. I hated holding her hand and giving her hugs after school and telling her we were going to be together forever. Because no matter what happened between us, my thoughts always went back to Aidan. I wasn't just obsessed with his smile. I was obsessed with his looks. With his personality. With every little thing he did. In short, I had a crush on him.

"But I never told anyone. My crush was a disgraceful thing, and I knew that nobody could ever find out, or else I'd be laughed about for days. And so I buried that crush so deep within myself, so, so deep, that I lost sight of who I was and I became this... football jerk. And I've been the football jerk for a long time now. But it wasn't until two weeks ago, when I met Aidan again, that those old feelings came bubbling back and I decided that maybe there was some part of my identity that I'd denied, which is why what I'm about to tell you is so important, Aquarius.

"I'm into guys. I'm gay. And this time around, I'm going to choose to be proud of it."

I smiled, feeling the tears build in my eyes. I wrapped my arms around Drew, giving him a massive hug, before turning to look him in the eyes. "Drew, I'm so, so proud of you. Please, please, live the way you want. But I did have to say something."

"Okay, hit me."

"I'm pregnant with your child, Drew, and I want to keep it."

Drew's eyes welled with tears. "I'm going to be a dad?"

"Yeah."

Now, it was his turn to give me a massive hug. "I hope they're as accepting as you are, Aquarius."

I smiled, wiping away Drew's tears. "And I hope they're able to live their life the way they want just like you can, Drew."

And with that, I left Drew's room, a new lease on life entering my mind.