Gemini

Sometimes, I found myself falling uncontrollably.

Just spiraling into a void of unknowing, of uncertainty, of fear of the unknown.

The day Cancer had passed away, that void had only deepened and I drew closer to it, feeling like I didn't even know me well enough. Who was I, if not a shadow of the world around me? Was I even somebody out of the school walls, or was I just a blank canvas, woefully devoid of any colour? I knew it wasn't like me to be so up in my feelings, but when things were so strange, I just couldn't help thinking and thinking and worrying until I felt sick all the way down to my core.

"Gemini? Hey, you feeling okay?" I blinked rapidly, snapping back into reality. Cancer stood in front of me, frowning as if he'd just found out I was an alien or something. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine... Just thinking..." He laughed, those impeccably straight white teeth glistening in the fluorescent white lights of the restaurant of the restaurant. "I hope you're not thinking about how horribly this date is going."

I laughed, shaking my head. "No, Cancer, this is all so great. It's just I've been a bit caught up in my feelings lately, but, you know, that's a me thing, and this is about us, so..."

"Well, if something's bothering you, let's talk about it. I'm a great listener. Seriously."

"The thing is, lately, I've just been so shaken up. I think that, you know, everything that's happened has really made me question who I am."

"Look, I know I'm not you, but from my side of the table, I look at you and see someone who is brave and strong and thoughtful. And, honestly, that's what I like about you. Your thoughtfulness, I mean."

"Thanks, Cancer. That's a real nice thing to say."

"It's alright. Now, do you wanna maybe dig into the pasta before it goes cold?"

I laughed, nodding as I took some gnocchi into my plate, my thoughts momentarily silenced.

.....

"Morning, sleepyhead," came a voice. I opened my eyes, gasping as pain flooded my back. "What-OH MY GOD, CANCER!"

We were lying on the concrete flooring of a footbridge, our sweaters and jeans not offering nearly enough warmth to combat the February chill. "How-what-" Cancer pressed a finger to my lips. "So we might have gotten a little... drunk..." I frowned, looking Cancer up and down. "I'm sorry, what?" He shrugged, smirking. "Oh, go away!" He rolled his eyes, helping me up. "C'mon, we better get home before anyone notices." I frowned. "What's the time?"

"Oh, it's 5 in the morning."

"WHAT!"

"I know, I know. C'mon, now!"

"Okay, fine!"

We hurried toward Cancer's car, quickly driving away. We arrived by my place in a matter of moments, since I lived right in the middle of town. "See you," I said, smiling, when Cancer leaned over and kissed me. He kissed me like it was nothing at all. Like it was just standard or something. I blinked rapidly as he pulled away, a smirk on his face. "See you, Gem." I dashed up toward the apartment, sneaking in as quietly as possible. If Mom woke up, I would be toast-I was lucky Dad had to leave so early every morning. Just as I closed my eyes, I felt my Mom shaking me awake. "Up, Gemini! It's 7:30!" I groaned, pulling myself out of bed and walking over to my closet....

When I realised I had my clothes from last night on.

"Well, someone was too exhausted to get changed, huh?" Mom commented before leaving the room. I groaned, grabbing a towel and quickly showering, just to get all the grease and grime that came from sleeping on a footbridge off me. I changed into a cropped white shirt paired with classic denim jeans, topped off with a canary yellow windbreaker.

(Gemini's look)

I walked out of the apartment building, hurrying to get on the bus. Aquarius gestured toward the seat next to her, grinning. She wore a printed sweater with brown jeans, paired with black sandals. "Hey, Gemini!" she chimed. "So I couldn't reach you last night. Where were you?"

(Aquarius' look)

"Oh, just buried knee deep in homework." My stomach began to flutter guiltily, my mind flashing back to when Aquarius had told me about her crush on Cancer. What had I been thinking, going out with him, knowing what it would do to Aquarius if she found out? I must have been the worst friend in the world-no, the universe. Even the aliens had me beat. She laughed, nodding.

"I know right? The teachers give us way too much to do-"

"Nice sweater, A-cry-ius!" The blonde's expression hardened as the guys from the football team walked in, smirking. "Did Mommy knit it for you?"

Aquarius just sighed, turning away. "Probably wearing it so she can cry into it..." I stood, infuriated. "Shut your mouths, jerks, or lose the ability to speak. Fine by me either way, yeah?" I balled my fists to indicate that I didn't mind resorting to violence. That seemed to shut them up. I turned toward Aquarius, who was resolutely looking out the window, forcing herself to stay looking in that very direction. "Hey, Aquarius, don't take what they say to heart."

She only nodded, lost in her own thoughts, when the bus stopped rather abruptly in front of the school. We flocked off the bus, where Libra stood with Scorpio and Sagittarius, the three of them engaged in conversation. It seemed that Scorpio and Libra were wearing matching orange varsity jackets, which was... well, complicated, given their relationship status. Libra had worn her makeup quite lightly as well, her hair left to curl naturally. She wore shorts, which was a horrible choice, given the chilly February weather, and, for some strange reason, a pair of stilettos.

(Libra's look)

"Oh, hi!" Sagittarius waved us over, grinning. "How's it going?"

"Oh, not too bad," I answered, while Aquarius just sniffled.

Sagittarius frowned, looking over at Aquarius. "You good, Aquarius?" he asked, looking concerned. She didn't answer. Sagittarius shrugged, turning back toward his friends, when Leo walked over toward us, wearing (as usual) an extremely guilty expression. "Hey, Leebs-"

"Leave." Libra's smile turned into a scowl as she turned toward Leo, eyes narrowed to slits. "Look, you're going to have to hear me out sometime-"

"I don't wanna talk."

"Leebs, please-"

"She said she doesn't wanna talk, Leo," Scorpio interjected, glaring coldly at the quarterback.

"Yeah, Leo. Leave before I make you." Sagittarius balled his fists ominously.

"Thanks, boys, but this is my fight." Libra stepped forward, the boys falling behind her. "Let's talk, Leo. Let's talk about how you abused me at that restaurant. Let's talk about what a big head you have, only helping people because you think you're so much better than them." Leo's nostrils flared, the veins on his neck bulging.

"Don't act like you're not damaged goods, Libra! You're a freak! A sociopath! You're so toxic and insane you should be locked up!" Leo flared, Libra crossed her arms over her chest.

"You know what, Leo? I don't have time for this. Let's go."

We all followed, Leo left alone on the curbside, head in hands. Aquarius nudged me, and I turned toward her. "Gemini, I-I know that nothing is certain with... with us, but please, please promise me that you'll... you'll stay. Don't leave me for anyone else." I frowned, not quite understanding what Aquarius was trying to say, but nodded anyway, just to make her feel better.

We left for our Period 1 classes, my heart turning over in my chest excitedly when I realised I was going to see Cancer again...

.....

"HOW COULD YOU?"

Tears were streaming down her cheeks, her mascara running all over her face. She was clearly distraught, and it was all my fault. "Look, Aquarius, I'm really sorry, it just kind of... happened..."

"YOU PROMISED ME, GEMINI! YOU PROMISED!"

Now I was starting to get angry. "I never promised you anything, Aquarius, you get that?"

"YOU DID! YOU FREAKING DID, GEMINI!"

"No, I didn't! Are you really as mental as you look?"

I immediately knew I'd gone too far. She flinched, backing away.

"Aquarius-I didn't mean it-"

She let out a loud, strangled sob.

"Look, if it really means that much to you, I'll back off. You can have Cancer."

She frowned, blinking rapidly. "It's not Cancer that I want."

"What are you talking about?"

She began to sob once again, her head in her hands. "You promised me that you wouldn't go anywhere, Gemini! That you wouldn't leave me! And now you're leaving high and dry again!"

"What... what are you implying?"

"I needed you, Gemini! I needed a friend, and you got up and left, and I-"

"What's happening?"

"Gemini, I think... I thought... I thought you were in love with me." I blinked rapidly.

"Aquarius, I'm not-I don't-"

"I know. I'm... confused. I don't know who I am. All my life I've been average. Normal, apart from my interest in astronomy. And then, I felt something for you. Something I've never felt before." She sighed. "But you don't feel the same way."

"No, Aquarius, I-"

"Just... go. I don't want to talk to you."

"Aquarius, please-"

"I SAID LEAVE!" I drew in a breath, turning toward the bathroom door, only to be greeted by an eavesdropping Cancer. He jumped backward, stammering.

"I-I'm sorry, I just-kind of ended up here-"

"Save it, Cance. I'm glad you heard, actually."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just... I know it's incredibly selfish, but I'm glad for you. I know it's complicated, but I can't help but just want you by my side."

Cancer smiled, squeezing my hand gently. "Well, I'm not going anywhere."

It was funny, how I had pretty much told Aquarius the same thing and ended up breaking my promise. But when Cancer said it, I just couldn't help but believe him.

We made our way back to class, hand-in-hand.