😂👆

~Hectic days keeping myself busy

Distraction filled schedule

But I won't forget

Burned into the back of my mind like a tattoo

What have you been up to lately?

Who are you thinking of so far away?

But even so I still gotta go

To the person I loved too much

To the red thread that got too entangled in itself

I couldn't reach you, so I'll walk a separate path

For that reason I'll say goodbye

*~*

In order to release your hand right now

I gotta let you know that I need to let you go

Hard to say goodbye But I can't run

I'm ready to let go

I'm ready to let go

I'm ready to let go

~

Tears ran down your face reading this letter which was left on the front on your doorstep in your rented apartment. You hugged the letter and burst into tears. It had been a few long and torturous weeks without Jimin. Without your love. Without your husband. To your surprise Jimin hadn't tried to contact you. He hadn't tried to call you or turn up at your doorstep. But that one letter touched you. It made you want to see Jimin again. It made you cry your heart out. "I wish I didn't have to let go of your hand. I wish I didn't have to let you go. But you gave me no other choice."

~I'm going crazy

Take it all away, I hate you

But your my everything(Your my)

Everything (Your my)

Everything (Your my)

Please go away huh

(I hate u)

(I hate u)

(I hate u)

I need you girl

Why am I in love alone, why am I hurting alone

I need you girl

Why do I keep needing you when I know I'll get hurt?

I need you girl, you're beautiful

I need you girl, you're so cold

I need you girl I need you girl

I need you girl I need you girl ~

Again you burst into tears reading the next letter you received a month later. It's so hard without you, Jimin. I need you too. But I have to try and learn to be without you and you should to.

~On top of this ending tune I'm standing here alone

Now tell me that it's over,

Let Me Know

Girl Let Me Know

Girl Let Me Know

I already know it's all over but, Let's not leave any regrets

Girl Let Me Know

Girl Let Me Know

Girl Let Me Know

Tell me something

I Just Wanna Know Know Know

I Just Wanna Know Know Know

My lingering feeling are trying to withstand the end

So I don't care what is it, Just tell me something

Girl Let Me Know~

You rested your back against the door and slid down it, breaking into a flood of tears. You put your head in your knees with the letter tight in your hand. It had been 3 months already. These 3 months had been the hardest time of your life and these letters are only breaking you even more. "Y/N, are you alright?" You felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned around and hugged Jungkook tightly crying in his arms. "Jungkook-ah how am I supposed to get over him if he keeps sending me these letters?"

Jungkook rested his head on top of yours and gently took the letter out of your hand to read it. "Wow" He whispered. "These sound like song lyrics." He put the letter down next to you and held you close to him. "I would break down too if my lover sent me something emotional like that."

"Why is it so hard without him?" You cried with your head in Jungkook's chest. "Why couldn't we have just been happy together like we used to? I've loved since the moment I met him. It's so hard to get over him now."

—————————————————

—————————————————

The next week was Jaemin's birthday. His first birthday celebration without both his parents together. Every week you let Jimin pick Jaemin up from preschool and take him home for the week so Jaemin could spend an equal amount of time with the two of you. One week he would stay with you and the other he would stay with Jimin. But you hadn't seen each other in all this time and ever since the day you left Jaemin hasn't spent time with the two of you together. So things must also be really hard for him too.

You, Jungkook and all the others came over to your house to celebrate. Jaemin was in his room getting ready while the others were preparing the decorations and everything. You heard the door bell ring and went over to it expecting it to be Hoseok and Jin who were the only ones who hadn't arrived yet. You opened the door only to find another letter sitting at the doorstep. Knowing who it was from and what it will contain, you took a deep breath before bending down to pick it up and open it.

~I want to breathe, I hate this night

I want to wake up, I hate this dream

I'm trapped inside of myself and I'm dead

Don't wanna be lonely just wanna be yours

Give me your hand

Save me save me

I need your love before

I fall, fall

Give me your hand save me save me

I need your love before I fall, fall

Give me your hand

Save me, save me~

You felt your eyes get teary yet again. You so badly wanted go see him. But instead you put the letter on your pocket, closed the door and turned around.

Once Hoseok and Jin had arrived, Jaemin came into the dining room to see the decorations put up for him and the cake siting on the table. "Happy Birthday Jaemin!" You said as Jaemin jumped into your arms.

"Thank you Mummy!" He exclaimed and sat down on a chair in front of his cake which had a 4 candles on it. Everyone sat down too and you sang happy birthday to Jaemin. As he leaned forward to blow out the candles, Taehyung cut him "Wait make a wish!"

Jaemin closed his eyes for a moment before blowing the candles out. Everyone clapped for him. "What did you wish for?" You asked him. Jaemin smile slowly faded away. He took a deep breath before saying "I wished for you and Daddy to forgive each other and be a family again."

Your own smile dropped. "Jaemin" You said and gently put a hand on his shoulder looking at him with sorrow eyes. "Your dad and I aren't getting back together."

Jaemin looked at you with teary eyes. "But why? You cry all the time and I know it's because you miss Daddy and when I see Daddy, he's always upset about you. Why can't you just forgive each other and we can live together again?" You wiped away a tear that left Jaemin's eye then held him in your arms. Forgiveness is not something that is done very easily. If only we could go back to the old times and live together.

Flashback

"...8...9...10! Ready or not here I come!" You said as you opened your eyes and started walking out of the kitchen room. The three of you were playing hide and seek together. You briefly searched the dining and lounge room but as you expect they weren't there. You went upstairs and entered Jaemin's room. As you did, your eyes immediately landed to a large lump underneath the covers on Jaemin's bed. You smiled. The lump looked too big to be Jaemin hiding underneath it but last time he had put pillows underneath to make it look like it was Jimin there and not him.

"Hmm...I wonder if Jaemin's in here" You said and slowly approached the bed. "Oh look I think I found someone!" You sat down at the edge of the bed. "I wonder who could it be. Is it Daddy or..." You pulled the covered off to reveal. "Jimin!"

You were completely surprised to see him there and not Jaemin. "Looks like you found me baby" Jimin teased and pulled you on top of him. "I...I'm sorry" You said embarrassed. "I thought it was Jaemin. Last time he put pillows underneath to make it look like it was you.....I'm sorry."

Jimin smirked and wrapped his arms around you. "I have to say when you said 'is it Daddy' it turned me on." You widened your eyes. "Why you dirty litt-" You were cut off as Jimin smashed his lips on yours. Of course you were surprised since you were supposed to be playing hide and seek with your son, not making out with your husband. Jimin roamed on of his hands through your hair while the other tightly held you by your waist and kissed you passionately not planning to let go. Unknowingly a moan escaped your mouth as you moved in sync with him getting lost in the moment. Once you realised that Jaemin was still waiting to be found you pulled away. "I still have to find Jaemin" You said and quickly left not wanting Jimin to see your red, burning cheeks.

You found Jaemin in your room then went back into the corridor to see Jimin waiting for you. "Babyyy, I hurt myself" He whined like a little kid. You smiled at his childish pout and went up to him. "How did you get hurt Pabo?"

"I fell for you" Jimin said and snaked his arms around your waist again. You blushed slightly then hit Jimin's chest playfully. "Don't say cheesy things!" And you pulled out Jimin's arms then turned around. You stopped when you felt Jimin embrace you again. "But you liked it didn't you?" He whispered in your ear. He turned you around waiting for you answer. "Ok I did" You said and gave him another kiss.

End of flashback

You hugged Jaemin tighter and felt his tears soaking your shirt. You heart ached remembering those happy times with Jimin. Those times were you enjoyed being with him. Those times where he loved you more than anything else. "Because Jaemin" You said. "Our relationship just didn't work out."

I was sitting on my bed hugging my knees looking out the window into the night sky while thinking about my baby. She really left me. She really left me alone. It's been 3 months without her. Three torturous months. I can't do anything but think about her. I wake up in the morning feeling lonely since she's not next to me and fall asleep crying to myself since she's not next to me. I cook my own meal thinking what Y/N would have made if she was here. I spend my whole day thinking about her.

I didn't go to work for the entire first week without Y/N. My company is struggling a lot right now because of me. I can't focus on any work. I'm letting my company down because the only thing on my mind is Y/N. And so I decided to distract myself by overloading myself with work. These days are hectic as I've been keeping myself busy by working and working. But at the end of the day all I can think about it Y/N.

How are you doing without me? Do you miss me? What are you doing right now? Are you moving on from me? Are you looking for someone else?

I've been writing down all my thoughts and feelings. I've turned these thoughts into songs. I've made a few already. One about the day she left me. The day she let go of me. And how I miss her but I must accept that I have to let go of her. Another how I want her to save me from this torture without her and a few more. I've sent her some of my lyrics in letters on her doorstep once I found where she was living in hope she'll contact me. But so far she hasn't.

I lay down on the bed. I curled myself up and cried. I cried and cried. That's all I did. That's all I could do. I then started singing to myself.

"~geurae mibda niga neon tteonatjiman

dan harudo neoreul ijeun jeogi eopseotji nan

soljikhi bogo shipeunde

iman neoreul jiulge

geuge neol wonmanghagibodan deol apeunikka

shirin neol bureonae

bonda yeongicheoreom hayan yeongicheoreom

malloneun jiunda haedo

sashil nan ajik neol bonaeji mothaneunde

nunkkochi tteoreojyeoyo

tto jogeumsshik meoreojyeoyo

bogo shipda (bogo shipda)

My tears run down my face faster saying these words. I put my hands against my chest close my eyes tight.

bogo shipda (bogo shipda)

eolmana gidaryeoya

tto myeot bameul deo saewoya

neol boge doelkka (neol boge doelkka)

mannage doelkka (mannage doelkka)

My face was covered in tears. Why? Why did I do this to you? Why did I hurt you? You loved me so much but all I did was hurt you. You believed in me but I broke your trust. Why? Why can't I just give the love you deserve?