Kakashi was having a bad day. A bad week, really, but today was the worst.

It started when Asuma was admitted to the hospital after a run in with Itachi Uchiha—who Kakashi was expressly forbidden from engaging, much to his chagrin. Gai had lamented the lack of actual combat, crying worryingly fat tears over Asuma's prone body as he was carried away. Then, someone came in to tell him that his kid had escaped the hospital. For a single, glorious moment, he thought she'd come out of her slump, that she'd come walking through the door to the Hokage's office and sigh reprovingly at him. Then, when it became clear that her escape was facilitated, by his other kid, no less, and that they'd immediately sped out of the village to gods knew where, that high plummeted into a gut wrenching worry. He wasn't stupid, naïve, or optimistic enough to think their impromptu vacation had nothing to do with the sudden arrival of another Uchiha in the village. His insides were tying themselves into knots, his every instinct demanding he pursue and bring the idiots back home and never let them leave the compound again. Certain people—the council, Clan Heads, and the Raikage—were all conspiring against him, however, keeping him all but chained to the Hokage's surprisingly plush chair with meaningless petitions he didn't actually have the power to oversee. If he were any less a trained professional, his leg would be bouncing with anxiety.

It was his fault, really. Being interim Hokage was such a convenient excuse—and a legitimate one, for once—to avoid his responsibilities. Of course, one of those responsibilities was a living person who was probably really upset with him for avoiding her. The last time he saw his daughter, she had just undergone emergency treatment. She lay in the hospital bed, too pale, too small, too quiet, her petrichor scent drowned out by the stench of antiseptics and foul medical concoctions. Looking at her, it wasn't too big a leap to imagine her laying on a metal table in the morgue, instead, to picture her name on the Memorial Stone, to see himself standing by it and running his fingertips over the unfortunate kanji that made up her name. The very idea had him fleeing the hospital with his tail between his legs, willingly burying himself in paperwork just to keep it from ever rising up in his brain again.

His cowardice stung, eating at him every time he spent more than two minutes unoccupied. Now, it was threatening to swallow him alive, nervous sweat beading on his forehead as he waited for two Sannin to come through the office doors.

Was it too late to escape? The window was open, a gentle breeze teasing him with the promise of freedom. He must have been too obvious, as Tenzou's chakra flared in the ceiling above him. Drat.

With a sigh, he slumped in his seat just in time for the door to burst open, Tsunade Senju storming into the room like the force of nature she was. She closed the distance between the doorway and the desk with quick strides, slamming her open palms on the old wood with enough force to shake it but nowhere near her full power. Her hazel eyes glared at him and he took a little pride in his lack of outward reaction. He smiled his usual sugar sweet smile, closing his one eye in the face of the Slug Sage's wrath.

"Yo, Tsunade-hime, it's been a while."

The older woman seethed, letting out a long, hissing breath. "Hatake. What the hell have you been teaching these brats?"

His eyebrows rose of their own accord. Looking past her, he noticed with a start that his two missing children were standing beside a grinning Naruto and a woefully put upon Jiraiya. Relief welled up in him at the sight of them, whole and unharmed, only to be dashed by the way Hanako avoided his gaze, ducking behind Sasuke and using the boy's superior height to hide from him.

Oh no.

The sight of her in Uchiha clothing certainly wasn't helping. The high collar hid her unmasked face, and he could recognize that Sasuke's options were probably limited when he busted her out of the hospital, but the reminder of her—non-Hatake—heritage was a kick in the gut. He shut his eyes, blocking out the unwelcome view, before turning back to Tsunade.

"Mah, I'm not sure what you mean, Tsunade-hime. Did my cute little genin do something wrong?"

Oh, she did not like that. Her nostrils flared even as her eyes narrowed. "Cute? These menaces are not cute!"

"Eh? Baa-chan, that's mean! We're the cutest, believe it!"

Ah. He got it now. Beneath his mask, he let the corner of his lip quirk upward. "Naruto, that's no way to speak to a lady."

The blond scrunched his face in confusion, the expression so like his mother's it hurt. "Eh? But she's my baa-chan, believe it! Hana-chan said so!"

Tsunade's long suffering sigh and a wave of her hand conveyed her agreement, if not her approval.

"Indeed," she said. "Hana-chan said a lot of things." She threw a glare over her shoulder at the child, but it was deflected by Sasuke, the Uchiha's expression impassive above the mask. "Things that need to be verified."

Oh, no. What had his little genius done, now? He knew from experience how easy it was to figure out secrets no one outside the highest ranks of Anbu should know, and he assumed Hanako knew better than to share those secrets without official clearance.

Then again, he'd also assumed she knew better than to adopt his bad habit of escaping hospitals—she certainly scolded him for it often enough.

"Mah, kiddo," he drawled, pretending her wince didn't send a senbon through his heart. "What did you say?"

She didn't answer, dark, red rimmed eyes focused on the floor, the scent of tears carrying across the room to hit him in the face. Oh, no. Panic welled up within him and he yearned to reach out with his chakra to soothe whatever hurt was making her cry. He couldn't, though, not with so many people between them. Hanako—and, to a lesser extent, Sasuke—was well accustomed to the feel of his chakra, and, as his child, was expected to be. These others, these non-Clan, were not. Touching them with his chakra would be incredibly rude and entirely deserving of punishment. So, instead of comforting his kid, he sat slumped in his borrowed chair, a fake smile plastered on his face as she actively hid from him.

His question was answered, however.

"I was told to ask after Anbu Agent Neko."

Kakashi didn't need enhanced senses to hear Tenzou's sharp inhale in the ceiling and Tsunade did her training justice by pointedly not looking up.

"Hoh," Kakashi turned his gaze back to Hanako. "And how did you know about that?"

That information was top secret. He, Tenzou, and Danzo Shimura were the only people still alive who had any business knowing it. Hanako's genius was not, by any means, a sufficient excuse for knowing that Tenzou even existed, let alone why he would be of interest to Tsunade. Kakashi consciously hardened both his heart and his gaze, reminding himself why the girl had been placed in his care in the first place. Sharingan aside, she was still technically from Kiri, as Jiraiya so helpfully supplied, and there was no love lost between their villages. Although he could honestly say he probably knew Hanako better than anyone else in the village, he was still viscerally aware that she kept secrets, some of which he knew, others he had yet to uncover.

At the very least, he could say she bore no ill will for Konoha. The dogs would have told him if she had.

The child in question was still dodging eye contact, worrying at her bottom lip with teeth that looked like his, hiding behind a boy wearing a mask like his, and no doubt considering the odds of escape just like him.

The barrier he'd erected around his heart cracked, just a little.

"Answer me, kiddo. This is important."

She looked at him then, fathomless eyes wide and brimming with tears. The heat of Sasuke's glare was appreciated, as it reminded him they weren't alone and he couldn't vault over the desk and whisk her away from the world that insisted on hurting her time and time again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, barely audible even to his ears. "I needed her to come. Lee needed her to come."

Ah. Kakashi leaned back in the chair, some of his tension gone with that admission. Lee. Guy's little mini-me. His kid's best friend from her academy days. Right.

He should have known that would be her motivation. He was there when the boy received his career ending injury, after all. The same injury which awakened his kid's weird Sharingan.

"That's why, kiddo," he said slowly, glad that Tsunade and Jiraiya were staying uncharacteristically quiet during their exchange. There was nothing more annoying than people inserting themselves into his parenting—when he parented, that is. "I need to know how."

She was trembling. Her one hand was gripping Sasuke's jumpsuit so tightly, he doubted it would ever iron out properly.

"He's your friend," she said, again almost too quiet to hear. "And he smells like Hashirama Trees." Ok, true enough. That still didn't explain—. "When Sasuke burned down half the house with his fireball, it was fixed the next day." Oh. "When Sano and Tetsu dug up the garden, it was fixed, too." Ah. "Trees aren't normally squares, but there's this one stump in the courtyard that—."

He held up a hand, covering his face with the other. With a loud sigh, he rubbed at the back of his neck, barely restraining himself from glaring at the ceiling. On the one hand, those were excellent reasons for her to know about Tenzou and the Mokuton. On the other, that she was able to put two and two together the way she had without outside assistance was still highly improbable. On another, smaller, disembodied hand, he really was an idiot sometimes, huh?

Whoops.

"Alrighty, then," he said, forcing himself to smile through the self-loathing. "That makes sense. Tsunade-hime," the princess turned her attention to him. "Agent Neko will seek you out on their own time. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

She sneered at him, crossing her arms under her breasts and adopting a wide, somewhat aggressive stance. "Don't get snippy with me, brat. I was your midwife, in case you've forgotten."

He had.

A new layer of sweat beaded on his skin even as Jiraiya snickered at his expense. "Aha, apologies, Tsunade-hime."

The legendary kunoichi huffed, clearly unimpressed by his deference. "You're chibi-chan's father, correct?"

"I am." It was an instant answer. Only once the words had left his tongue did he remember that, no, he technically wasn't.

The blonde woman turned to her teammate who suddenly looked like he, too, was considering his odds of escape. "And you're her grandfather."

The Toad Sage grimaced, as if the very idea pained him. "That's what the tests say."

Tsunade nodded, her expression clouding. "And her mother?"

Immediately, Kakashi straightened in his seat. "That is not something that should be discussed so casually." Especially not in present company.

She seemed to grasp his meaning, turning hazel eyes on the three genin. Naruto cocked his head, clearly not fully understanding everything that was going on. There was a light in Sasuke's eyes, the boy interested in the woman both Kakashi and his kid avoided mentioning. Hanako...

Yep. She was sad. Er. Sadder. He knew better than to bring up her mother, even all these years later. That was a job better left to Inoichi. As it was, he could just hear the rise in her heartrate, the steady quickening of her breathing signaling him to end this farse of a meeting sooner rather than later.

"I'm sure you'll be granted access to the necessary files if you ask, Tsunade-hime," he said coolly. "Jiraiya-sama got into them easily enough."

The older man hummed in agreement. "They should still be out. I asked the archivist to hold them so you could add her and the chibi to the Clan."

A growl welled up in his chest and he barely managed to force it back down before a sound escaped him. Jiraiya spoke as if it was a given, and Kakashi supposed it was. The Senju were much more important than the Hatake, after all, for all they were both founding Clans. The only family who could rival them were—.

"Wait a minute," Sasuke interjected with a growl of his own, standing between Hanako and her two kinsmen. "Why would Hana become a Senju?"

"Because I'm a Senju." Jiraiya's tone was condescending and Kakashi winced internally, knowing full well how the boy took such treatment. It was the easiest way to get under his skin.

"And she has a Sharingan, which means she's at least half Uchiha. If she's joining any Clan, it's mine."

Hoo, boy. It was only by drawing on years of experience as an Anbu Agent that Kakashi managed to keep his patented smile on his face. The two elder Senju, on the other hand, erupted into a barrage of questions, their age and status granting them the freedom to behave as they wished.

"I don't get it," Naruto's voice broke through the cacophony, his face tilted in that Kushina way. "I thought Hana-chan was a Hatake."

Ah, that hurt. His insides were an oversensitive tangle of knots, his genin's words tugging on all the wrong strings—or maybe the right ones. Of course, this was nothing compared to the absolute acid poured on them by the sound of hiccoughing sobs.

Hanako was crying in earnest now, rubbing at her eyes with her one hand as fat tears rolled down her face, soaking the high collar of her borrowed shirt. The "adults" stopped their bickering and watched as their kinsman began to wail. Gone was the girl famous for her uncanny maturity. In her place stood a child.

His child.

He didn't even try to stop the growl that escaped him, then, the sound echoing unnaturally in the crowded office. Only Naruto reacted appropriately, the Fox influencing his instincts just enough to make communication easier, but the others were suitably cowed. He crossed the room with long, purposeful strides, crouching with his back to Jiraiya. It was the second time something he'd said had caused Hanako harm. Maybe some restrictions were in order.

Eye locked on his kids sobbing face, he reached out with his chakra and immediately began growling even louder. What the hell? Who? How? Why?

In a single movement, he scooped up his kid and stood to his full height. She was small, so it was easy to hook an arm under her knees and press her head against his shoulder, letting her take comfort in his familiar scent and the rumble of his growl. The scent of her tears almost overwhelmed him, as if the horrifying undercurrent of her chakra wasn't enough.

"We're done here."

He didn't wait for a response. In a single shunshin that would have made even Shisui proud, he removed his kid from the Hokage's office and brought her to the safety of their home. The Hatake compound was off limits to anyone not already keyed into the defensive seals—an addition made by his sensei, far too long ago. Those offensive Senju wouldn't be able to come anywhere near his kid without his express permission, and he had half a mind to forbid it, altogether.

With his free hand, he reached up and pulled down his mask, biting into his thumb with a canine. In a puff of smoke, the room was filled to brim with dogs. His dogs and hers both rushed toward him as he skillfully laid himself down on his back, his kid a heaving lump on his chest. Cold noses pressed themselves against exposed skin, high pitched whining expressing concern even as heavy paws pressed into bruises. Pretty soon, they were at the bottom of a dog pile, covered from head to toe in warm, squirming bodies.

His kid pressed her nose to the crook of his neck, shuddering with the force of her tears. Almost unconsciously, he wrapped her up in chakra, carefully removing his anger from it as he let the lightning run across the surface of what usually a calm lake. Now, it was agitated, a whirlpool in the making.

No. It wasn't agitated. Something was agitating it. His heart sank all the way to his toes as he recognized the effects of a Curse Seal. He'd worked with Anko's long enough to know one when he felt it. His kid's was weaker than Orochimaru's former student's, but it was still there, stirring the waters from below as she struggled to keep the surface smooth.

He placed a hand on her head to keep it from shaking, pressing her closer to him. The puppy that had wormed its way under her arm yipped a complaint, but his growled response cut it short.

"It's alright, kiddo," he said, voice rough with emotion he rarely let himself express. "I've got you."

For some reason, that made things worse. Her somewhat calm breathing dissolved into ragged gasps.

"Do," he swallowed thickly. "Do you not want that?" Oof, that hurt to think about. He could barely even say it, tears welling up and making Obito's eye sting. "If—If you want, I can take you off the Hatake registry—."

"No!" She shook her head, rubbing her face against his chest and dislodging a grumbly Pakkun. "I—I want to be a Hatake." The weight of the dogs holding them down was suddenly nothing. "But I can't." And then it was too much.

"Why not, kiddo?" He asked tentatively, rubbing small circles on her back in a reflection of his turning mind. "I won't make you leave if you don't want to."

She shook her head again, whining en lieu of an answer. He didn't say anything, just laying on the ground and waiting for her to find her words. It wasn't so bad, being crushed underneath thirteen dogs and a child. It was actually rather comfy. Warm, too.

"I'm a liar."

The words were so soft, mumbled into his tear soaked flack jacket, that he almost missed them. Damn. Where was Inoichi when he needed him? This was not something Kakashi should be trusted to handle alone. He'd mess it up, mess her up, and no one would ever forgive him—himself included.

"Kiddo," he began, slow and unsure. "I know. I know," he rambled on, desperate for momentum lest he stop there and ruin everything. "That you're from Kiri. Jiraiya told me when he figured it out. Knowing that, everything else makes sense. Your life would have been much harder if you'd told the truth." His jaw tightened as he recalled many, too many, conversations with Danzo, the reality of what her lies had saved her from kicking him in the gut. "Tell me, kiddo: will your lies hurt the village?"

She hesitated, but eventually shook her head.

"Well, then, that's all that matters, isn't it? All shinobi lie, Hana. It's in the job description. I do it all the time, you know that. I don't care," he continued, keeping his tone light despite the acrobatics happening in his stomach. "What your name used to be, or where you used to live. Right now, you're Hanako Hatake, and you're a shinobi of the Leaf. Most importantly," he freed his arm from under Bull's girth and tilted her head upward so he could look her in the eye. "You're my kid. Got it?"

She started crying again, but her tears smelled less of sorrow this time.