《"Hate And Shame" -Poems of a mentally ill person-》anything but me ☆

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I want to pull myself apart and mold my limbs into beautiful statues that people put on their shelves, in an art lovers home next to paintings of pretty girls, smiling.

I want to plant seeds into my lungs and watch them sprout into a bouquet of flower words that I couldn't dare to speak out loud.

I want to throw my teeth and nails into glowing coal and burn them away, then cool them down into icebergs like the ones that once used to decorate the north pole.

(Before we destroyed it)

I want to slice away on my bones like a scout child carving wood, turning it into a bone dice to decide the fate of the worlds demise, as it lays in the hands of unknown men.

I want to rip out my eyeballs and embellish them with animals, plants, people and nature, forming new planets, shaping new stars, building new galaxies.

I want to grow black cornfields out of my hair and make rivers longer than the nile out of the tears I've wasted crying on the ashes of people who hurt me.

I want to grow forests on my skin and down my spine, I want to make islands appear on my thighs and calves and let waterfalls adorn my knees and ankles.

I want to sew holes into my fingertips and make them slide into the fleshy mass that used to be considered my body, like a bouncy slide for children.

I want to be everything, anything but me.

July 14th 2022

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