Dear body,

I'm sorry for all the things I've done to you.

In sorry for all her pain I've caused you.

I'm sorry for all the times I've let you starve so I could be skinny.

I'm sorry for all the times I've punished you for eating.

For all the times I made you workout until your legs were bruised, your vision blacking out and you were shaking like a leaf.

I'm sorry for all the times I made my stomach throw up the few calories I had eaten.

I'm sorry for cutting you everytime something didn't work out.

I'm sorry for hitting you and making you bleed whenever someone told me I wasn't good enough.

I'm sorry for everything I've done to you.

But thank you.

Thank you for being able to go through all this self-abuse.

Thank you for being able to stand here today and not pass out.

Thank you for being able to walk even after I destroyed my thighs with blades yesterday night.

Thank you for being able to write this even though I've cut open my arms like meat.

Thank you for being able to survive even after not eating for days and days on end.

Thank you for not dying these nights I've tried to kill you.

Thank you for helping me be alive even after all this pain and suffering I've caused you.

4th December 2021