Tighs full of cuts,

Arms full of scars,

The floor full of guts,

And my brain is full of memories.

Memories that haunt my dreams,

Waking up from nightmares,

Screaming while my tears are fucking streaming down my face,

I just wish somebody cared.

Just not you.

You haunted me when I was thirteen,

And I still remember the green,

Of your eyes from these pictures,

Pictures that weren't suited for eyes as young as mine were.

But you never cared,

Because my pain turned you on.

I told you I was a child,

And you just smiled.

You told me you loved when I bled,

"Cut some more" is what you said,

And I did just to please you.

A 23 year old cause it's what you were into.

You're disgusting so I'm finally discussing,

Discussing what that adult man did when I was young.

Grooming me and now you're playing dumb.

You're a pathetic bitch and I hope you'll die,

And I hope I can kill you one day,

Just like you killed me,

For what felt like years when I was under your "control".

Just know that I would never condole,

Because you destroyed my imange of a healthy bond,

And you made me feel like I was bound,

But now I'm free.

Free from your fucking mindgames.

My body's always bruised,

And I get that they might be confused,

And I get what they might assume,

Cause I get cold when midnight blooms.

13th November 2021