《SOLAR INSTAFAMOUS !》002 | hashtag
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Aku selalu tertanya-tanya, rancangan apalah aku nak buat lagi untuk meningkatkan populariti aku? Selalunya kalau orang tu famous, post dia banyak tapi kalau aku fikir betul-betul....Hali Com Ill tak post banyak-banyak pun followers dia mencanak tinggi?
Hmmmn... puas aku fikir, macam mana nak jadi Instafamous paling terkenal seluruh dunia? Aku kalau boleh bila dah terbang ke luar negara, akan ada awek cantik tegur aku and tanya 'Awak ni Solar, instafamous tu ke? Minta nombor boleh'? Haa... kan best.
Haih.... Hmmm, apa kata aku just post banyak-banyak and hashtag benda yang trending kat media sosial sekarang? Boleh menjadi ke?
Tak cuba, tak tahu lagikan?Jadi dengan penuh keyakinan, aku selfie banyak-banyak bagi orang lain tengok muka hensem aku. Kalau satu gambar, takut ada yang tak puas hati dan minta aku buat macam-macam. Rupanya tu teknik dia nak flirt aku eceh.
Muehehehe. Alhamdulillah, oi readers! Kau tunggu kat sini watpe? Aku dah selfie so CEPAT GI FOLLOW IG AKU SEKARANG!
Tapi aku tak jamin la aku follow korang balik. Suke hati aku la.
Lepas aku multiple banyak-banyak, aku berfikir sejenak. Mungkin korang ingat aku fikirkan korang but sorry ya plis don't perasan sangat. Aku tengah fikir hashtag mana aku patut letak.
Jap, jap, jap. Haa, aku dah tau hashtag mana aku nak letak!
#dahla
Alhamdulillah, siap pun tulis kesemua hashtag ni. Awww sweet-sweet je hashtag yang aku letak. So takde alasan lagi korang tak follow aku. Kalau korang tak follow, aku babap korang sampai jadi ayam penyet.
Kan aku dah kata, aku hensem, tapi korang tak caya.
Sementara menunggu noti memanggilku bertalu-talu, baik aku periksa semua akaun kembar aku ni. Walaupun muka kitorang hampir sama, tapi muka dorang semua cam tuyuk. Aku sorang je sesat hensem kat sini. Hehe.
@_sctaufan_
Posts 54 Followers 11 m Following 5
Taufan a.k.a Taufiq >\\\Aku tahu kau jelly
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ngan kehenseman
aku, tak yah la cakap.
Following ^ Message ^
Eh apahal followers dia pun-
*dramatic song*
But bila aku tengok akaun dia ni hmmm... biasa sangat. Kenapa tak nak selitkan je muka aku? Asyik muka dia je lekat sana-sini, aku tau mesti para instagrammer bosan asyik tatap muka acah babun dia tu. Patutnya selitkanlah muka aku sekali. Ni tidak.
Tak ke dia tak tau aku pun akan digilai ramai? Taufan ni ada akal ke?! Hish... seingat aku Taufan mana ada akal jadi tak payah la aku mengadu suruh dia promote aku. Nanti lain jadinya, mesti dia akan tambah hidung oit oit kat muka aku.
Okay, aku beralih ke akaun yang kurang popular seterusnya. Nak tau akan siapa? Mai aku bagi pantun sikit, nanti cer korang teka pulak. Biar otak korang berfikir sendiri dari fikirkan benda yang tak senonoh.
Orangnya UwU, tapi menakutkan,
Si kembar toyol, saudara si jembalang,
Kalau tahu, tekalah wahai kawan,
Tak payah fikir-fikir, jawab sekarang!
Haa... boleh teka tak siapa? Siapa dapat teka, aku hadiahkan bubur Mak Yah kepada korang. Nanti kalau tiba-tiba Gem datang beraya ke rumah korang it is not my fault.
@thornrojak
Posts 1 k Followers 17 m Following 5
RoJaK
Sunshine After The Storms
( •'^'•) o )) (×_×' )/
aku tumbuk kau sampai pecah
Following ^ Message ^
Oh tak guna. Macam mana Duri yang bendul dan bengap tu lagi popular dari si Halia merah?
Haih, kalau aku minta tolong dia promote aku, of course dia buat benda lain. Macam mana tu? Meh meh aku terangkan. Kalau tunggu korang fikir sendiri, lambat macam siput je.
Kalau korang minta dia promote akaun korang, dia mesti akan tanya camni;
'Promote tu macam mana?'
Kalau korang bagitahu macam ni.
'Promote tu kau ss kan akaun aku dan letak kat story kau.'
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And then, dia akan jawab;
'Ss tu macam mana pulak?'
Korang jawab;
'Ss tu ertinya Screenshot. Kau tolong tangkap gambar dalam handphone kau.'
Dia tanya lagi;
'Handphone tu apa pulak?'
Tetibe rasa Duri ni cam bengap sangat.
And then berlanjutan sesi temu bual itu hinggalah korang mereput dalam golem tanah tunggu akaun korang dipromote si Duri ni. Laslty, dah puas korang terangkan, dia akan tanya lagi pastu air mata korang teru mengalir dengan mulut tersenyum.
'Perlu ke?'
Bila fikir semula, aku pernah minta Duri promote akaun wattpad aku dan akhirnya aku sendiri makan hati berulam jantung berkuahkan air mata.
Tulah aku tak sanggup minta dia promote akaun instagram aku. Sebenarnya aku prihatin dengan keselamatan Duri je. Sebab kalau dia buat macam tu, tak janji aku tak buka kuasa.
Haih, puas aku bebel, memang ada ke kau orang nak dengar ni? Takpelah, hari pun nak malam. Aku nak tidur dulu ye semua?
Aku tahu takde siapa tanya but bye bye!
Assalamualaikum!
Esok pagi.... Krook krook krook! ( Cam lain je bunyi ayam ni )
Akhirnya! Jom kita check noti akaun kita ni! Yehaaaa!
Yey! Nofi aku ada 106! Banyak weh! Tak sia-sia aku hashtag pelik-pelik sebanyak yang mungkin semalam!
Eh aku rasa aku terngaku sesuatu tadi.
Jari aku terus tekan ruang notifications masuk dan air mata aku tanpa diundang terus keluar macam Laut China Selatan.
Ytyqusknhu_32 Ehhh jijik aku tengok muka kau ni! Poyo je lebih!
Se.linou Ya Allah bang... sila bertaubat bang. Muka kau kalau boleh, aku rasa nak sepak je. Kenapa ye?
Amd.puterr Sewel! Syok sendiri! Antara banyak-banyak kembar Boboiboy, kenapalah kau ni wujud ah?? Nak bagi aku muntah darah ke?
Sebenarnya ada banyak lagi komen yang minta penampar. Tapi aku malas nak letak. Buang tenaga dan air mata ja.
Ceh, kaulah yang sewel. Dasar toksik. Alhasilnya, selama lapan bulan, aku berkurung dalam bilik sambil ditemani air mata. Akaun instagram pun aku dah tak buka dah. Biarlah. Aku takut aku ambil langkah mudah, suicide terus kalau baca komen dorang yang berjela tu.
Macam mana nak cakap ya? Pertama kali aku berdepan dengan kritikan ni. Tolonglah, aku rasa nak tepek je pipi dorang.
Bila terfikir balik, aku ni comel sangat. Patutlah dorang jeles.
Dalam erti kata lain, kenyataan yang tak boleh diubah...
Rancangan kedua... pun GAGAL!
Takkan aku nak tipu aku berjaya kot-
____________________
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