my hands were wrapped tightly around my cup of coffee, soaking in its warmth, a nourishing contrast to the surrounding december air that seemed to have submerged the atmosphere just at the turning of months. november had been a meager cold, whereas the first day of december had introduced a new wave of numbing air, where every small motion or swish was enough to cause a bitter, prickly, painful sensation in the skin, feeling as though you were constantly wading through a carpet of ice.

i dumped the last of the drink into my mouth and swallowed it gratefully, pausing to allow my body to absorb as much of its heat as possible, before releasing a long exhale in preparation for the day ahead.

i stood up, stretching each of my limbs out and picking up the cup to place it into the sink.

i stopped for a moment, staring through the large kitchen window in front of me. it was early, and the sky was a stunning picture of a range of blues, greens and greys smeared carelessly across a canvas, so bewitching that i almost questioned if it was even real. its light glowed low and blissful, still overshadowed by a hint of morning darkness, however the lines of trees in the distance remained prominent, the branches beaming against the dark sky, swaying slow and performatively, moving in perfect sync as if attempting to lull me into a deep slumber. my eyes danced around every inch of the horizon, memorizing it all and storing it safely in my mind so that i'd be able to paint it verbally to mattia later on.

a rapid tapping at the front door made me jump slightly, pulling me away from the thoughts that had imprisoned my attention without me even realizing it.

the urgent knocking continued, growing louder with every strike, and i finally placed the cup into the sink, making my way towards the door afterwards.

i forced the oak door open, heavy with the thick frost that was the air, wondering who could be knocking at such a quiet time.

natalia stood on the doorstep, her face a picture of knowledge, whilst a separate flame flickered in the center of her eyes.

'what are you doing here so early?' i queried, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

'well, i know you like to head out really early, and i have something i gotta tell you about.' she spoke quickly, an almost desperation in her tone.

'yeah well i was just about to leave.' i remembered my priorities.

'no, trust me, you need to see this.' she spoke quietly, avoiding waking up my mom or daughter.

'fine, make it fast, please.' i indulged, not wanting to offend her.

'okay, look.' she said, extending an arm out with her phone located at the end, it's brightness slightly startling me.

i skimmed through it quickly, it was about me. arguing in my defense. sympathy - reading it sparked unfamiliar feelings, usually articles like this were against mattia and i. i became more interested, inviting myself access to her phone and scrolling through the article, near the bottom lied two photos in black outlined boxes, bold, the center of attention.

it was pictures of me from some weeks ago. pictures of me crying.

i suddenly recalled an incident in which i'd had to chase away a desperate journalist, and i figured that was where the photos originated from.

my face flushed with hot embarrassment, and i prayed that the light wasn't sufficient enough for nat to see my twisted expression.

'why are you showing me this, nat?' i asked, avoiding direct eye contact.

'because this is what it caused.' she yanked her phone back and tapped against the screen a few times, switching tabs before holding it out for me to see again.

the sight made me breathless, causing me to understand that the flicker i had previously noticed in natalia's eyes was that of hope.

'how am i only just seeing this now?' i breathed shakily, the number on the screen making my legs feel weak.

'the article went viral overnight.' she said, her voice full of hope, 'i guess it got enough people to feel sorry for you guys, because the signatures on the petition went up by around 650,000 in only a couple of hours.'

'i can see that.' i gasped breathlessly, still in shock at the screen in front of me.

the petition was at 687,530 signatures out of 1,000,000.

'watch this.' nat said.

she refreshed it, and suddenly it had gone up to 692,005 signatures.

'we could actually pull this off.' i said, not even really understanding the words that were slipping out of my lips.

'at the rate it's going at, and with two days until december 3rd, i think we could.' she whispered, a tingle of excitement buzzing in her voice.

'but what if we can't.' i sighed, remembering my history in terms of disappointing mattia, and considering whether it'd only make his death more painful if it didn't work.

'listen to me, y/n, you just go and spend as much time with him as you can, and i'll run everything out here, on this end.' she told me.

'nat, are you sure?' i said, knowing the anti-love nature of her extended family.

'yeah, i'll try my best, i promise.'

i threw myself into her, the warmth of our bodies embracing each other making me feel dizzy with joy.

'i literally don't know what i'd do without you.' i stated, letting go of her after a few long moments.

'just go.' she smiled kindly, reading my mind.

'keep me updated.' i giggled as i shut the door behind me, watching her silhouette become smaller and smaller as i moved further and further away.

as i headed towards the bus stop my brain tried its hardest to remind me not to get my hopes up, but my heart swelled with so much content that it poured out of my chest, blurring my logical mind.