the minute i got home, i rushed straight into my room and let myself fall back into the comfort of my bed.

i exhaled a long sigh, relieved to finally be back where i belong, and away from all of those handsy reporters, even if i was only going to be home for one day.

i slipped my shoes off and slid under my covers slowly, pulling my phone out of my pocket and preparing to turn it on again after months of it being in evidence.

the notifications flooded in uncontrollably, to the point where my phone glitched for a minute or two before i could get it running again.

i had gained thousands of followers on each of my social medias, and i had received hundreds of messages from strangers, some attempting to shame me for falling in love, and some supporting mattia and i.

after seeing masses of trending videos and pictures and hashtags, it was clear that we were currently the nation's main focus.

i was fucking terrified.

i was an extroverted introvert, i was friends with quite alot of people but i would never consider myself popular. i guess i was a likeable person, but this was probably because i never really voiced my opinions on anything and i stood for a lot of shit, which made me a neutral person. either way, it felt so weird being the centre of attention for once.

i was still replying to messages when i got a facetime call from mattia, which i answered with no hesitation.

'we finally got our shit back!' mattia cheered excitedly.

'it feels so fucking good to be able to use my phone again,' i replied, 'have you seen everything that's been going around? we're literally everywhere.'

'i know, i cant escape it, the pictures of us from today have already been posted like a million times.' he said.

'we're so fucked.' i chuckled dryly.

'no we're not.' mattia started, the motivational flare coming to life in his eyes for the second time today, 'look how far we've come, y/n, look on the bright side, it's finally gonna be over. soon, we're gonna be together, with our baby too.' he said, putting his finger to his lips jokingly at the last part.

i smiled, my heart throbbing at his words. he really did hold so much power over my feelings, even through the phone.

'we never decided on a name?' i reminded him.

'oh yeah.. what were the last two options again?'

'it was milo for a boy and eliza for a girl.' i answered.

'god, i really hope it's a boy.' he said.

'hey!'

'i cant help it, i've always dreamed about raising a boy and teaching him to play soccer and xbox.' he said.

'i guess we'll have to wait and see.' i laughed, putting a hand over my stomach area, whilst the thought of either a boy or a girl growing inside me made me happy.

at that moment, i felt a tiny beat against my skin.

'wait.' i said to mattia, furrowing my brows as i tuned into it.

i felt it again.. and then again.

'mattia, i think the baby's kicking.' i whispered, tearing up.

'are you kidding me, y/n? that's fucking insane!' he yelled through the speaker, bursting with pure joy.

'yes! the baby is definitely kicking!' i screamed out of excitement.

'holy shit, y/n... we're gonna be parents.' mattia said.

i looked at him, analyzing his slightly pixelated face.

'i'm fucking ready.' i said, unable to control the excitement on my face.

'me too.' he said, grinning like his life depended on it.

'okay, so, a few days into the whole court thing, i tell mr miller that i feel sick and let him put two and two together? i'm gonna need a check up sooner or later.' i said

'just do it whenever you feel ready.' mattia responded.

the sound of footsteps approaching my room interrupted our conversation.

'i think my mom's coming, i gotta go.' i whispered quickly.

mattia nodded his head.

'i'll see you tomorrow.' he whispered as i ended the call.

a moment later, i heard a knock at my door.

'come in!' i yelled.

the door swung open to reveal my mom, i still hadn't gotten used to seeing her face again.

'how are you doing, y/n.' she asked sincerely, perching herself down on the end of my bed.

'yeah i'm pretty okay, all things considered.' i replied.

'i'm glad.' she said, smiling gently, 'no matter what happens tomorrow, i'll be right there behind you, just remember that.'

'thank you, mom, it really means a lot.'

'good. now i'll leave you to catch up on everything.' she gestured towards my phone.

'close the door behind you.' i laughed at her.

'lunch'll be ready in a few.' she said, before shutting the door behind her.

i held my phone to my chest and stared up at the ceiling as i slipped into deep thought.

i just wanted to be able to cuddle and kiss mattia more than anything in the world. the law frustrated me, and so did the system in general. why did we have to be abused and bashed just because we wanted to express our emotions.

it wasn't fair that i was going to have to endure an entire court process just because i was in love.

nothing even felt real.