Damian's POV

"You up for Saturday night?" Aidan asked me during lunch. Mariam was still praying with her sister and Yaz in room 13 and Theo and Denise were buying something from the canteen, which left me all by myself until I spotted Aidan. He used to be my main man, the guy I always went to first for all my problems, but he had been replaced by Theo in a way. I still talked to him, just not as much as before.

"What's happening Saturday night?" I asked vaguely, knowing that I probably wouldn't go anyway.

"Oh, you know, the boys and I are gonna just chill at Toby's, maybe order some pizza," Aidan shrugged in reply.

"Oh, really?" I arched an eyebrow at him and the two idiots beside him, Felix and Toby. We were a band of four, always cooking up trouble and sticking together like brothers, but now that I avoided trouble I could tell they were trying to reach out as my friends, grabbing onto whatever bit of me they could relate to. "I don't know, guys."

"Come on, Damian, you never hang with us anymore! I don't wanna sound like a whiny little kid, but you're drifting apart from the brotherhood!" Felix cried, planting a palm on my shoulder in an effort to include me. "So are you in?"

"I might be busy," I muttered, subtly detaching myself from Felix's grip. "I have a few tests coming up and assignments to do, so..."

"Hey, bring them! We're going to be doing homework too, right boys?" Aidan and Felix nodded earnestly at Toby's words, and they all turned to me, still trying to coerce me to come.

"Since when do you guys get together to do homework?" I chuckled. "Last time we tried that, it turned into a party." And it was a pretty crappy party too. I had to remember I was Muslim now, and those things were forbidden to me now. I didn't want to betray my clean streak by making the mistake of hanging out with my "boys" because they always had a talent of making me do things I shouldn't. They also had a talent of making me like doing those bad things. Though I hadn't been any better back in the day. I used to be the one pressuring my friends to do crazy sh – stuff. Man, I really needed to stop swearing.

"Yeah, but that was last time. We won't do that again, will we?" Aidan had a sly smirk on his face as he said that, and I regarded him with suspicion.

"No promises," Felix held his hands up with a mischievous grin.

I rolled my eyes. "In that case, I can't come. I need to be home for my mum, you know..."

"Didn't you say your mum was doing fine?" Toby asked. "In fact, I remember distinctly you mentioning that she had another year to live thanks to the chemo..."

Crap. I couldn't use my mum as an excuse not to go out anymore. Maybe I should've kept that awesome piece of info to myself, but still. I was excited that the initial five months the doctor had given my mum to live had extended to triple the time, so naturally, I told all my friends about it. But guess who I told first? Mariam. I owed it to her, as she'd been there since the beginning.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be home, just in case," I continued.

Aidan scoffed. "Dude, it sounds like you're just making up excuses not to hang with us anymore. You've already chosen those Muslim chicks and Theo over us, so if you don't want anything to do with us, just say it like a man."

Now it was my turn to scoff. "Like a man, huh? You sound like a jealous little kid right now, feeling hurt that I have found other people to hang with instead of you," I shot back.

Felix raised his eyebrows. "I don't think he meant it like that, Damian."

Aidan ignored him and narrowed his eyes at me. "Jealous? Why should I be jealous?"

"Hm, I dunno, maybe because you've been replaced," I spat venomously, feeling disdain against this person who stood before me, this person who was acting childish just because I didn't hang out with him anymore.

"I don't give a shit about them," Aidan rolled his eyes. "But it's clear to see you don't give a shit about us. Your old friends."

I let out a mirthless laugh. "Oh, so you are jealous? Well, guess what? Maybe I don't need you anymore, because those guys I hang with now are the closest things to real friends that I've had in a long time."

"You call those girls real friends? Don't forget they tried to change you, Damian! Real friends accept their friends, flaws and all, but those girls didn't. Did you ever think about that, huh?" Aidan stepped closer, and I clenched my fists, struggling to contain my anger.

"So what if they changed me? Maybe that was a good thing! You talking about real friends, Aidan? The friends who want the best for you are what I consider real friends, but all you wanna do is get me wasted and hooked up with a girl, so is that what real friends do?" I ranted.

Something flickered in Aidan's blue eyes, but he remained tempestuous, brewing with frustration and anger or whatever that storm was in his expression. "Do you think just because you're Muslim now and all holy or whatever that you're better than us? You're acting like just because we do stuff like party and drink that you can't be our friends anymore and you're just going to throw us away like a piece of garbage?" he growled. "Well, we're sick of your arrogance, Damian. You may have changed your religion, but you're still the same cocky jerk everyone hates."

"Take that back!" I yelled, my fists shaking with the urge to punch the lights out of my ex-best friend. I didn't want to start a fight again, but the way things were going, I might have no choice. I tried to remember words to calm me down, words Mariam had taught me that helped tame the devil inside, but at that moment I forgot them all, and I was consumed with this uncontrollable rage I had kept locked in. The same rage I had bottled up against my father.

"Guys..." Felix tried to interfere, but it was as if he wasn't even there. Everyone else had disappeared, and it was just me and Aidan. However, if I had taken a second to look around, I would've noticed a crowd gathering, and among them would've been my friends – the real ones.

"I meant every fucking word I said, Brewer. And I don't care if your mum is sick – that's no reason for you to act like such an arrogant bastard, thinking you have a right against all of us," Aidan raged. "And you know what? Becoming a Muslim has just made you even worse than before."

"Worse? I'll show you worse." And with that, I let loose all the anger I had been restraining, my fist flying towards Aidan's jaw before I even realized what I had done. I think I had a right to punch this guy in the face, don't you agree? But as soon as I did, I regretted it immediately. Had I really just punched Aidan in the face?

I caught the outraged look in Aidan's eyes, which were no longer blue, but a stormy grey, as grey as the clouds above that threatened to rain down on us. Suddenly, I felt my body stumble backwards, and I realized it was due to Aidan shoving me. So I shoved him back. And it went from there.

A punch to the nose, a punch to the stomach. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Blood spilled, shirts were torn, and all sense went out the window. I forgot where I was, who I was, and my purpose. And in all the pandemonium of my own animalistic desires, I forgot the One who created me, for if I had remembered, I would've never thrown the first punch. And I would've chosen my words wisely. But the devil won in the end, and I heard the crowd's cries and cheers, before Aidan delivered the punch that sent me to the ground.

I fought with everything I had, because I was blinded with anger, blinded by the devil. Aidan and I wrestled for a while on the ground as the sky fell in droplets, and for every blow I managed, Aidan returned it.

"Damian!"

My ears recognized the voice, the same voice I had listened to for hours in phone calls and face-to-face, the same voice that had told me not to give up hope, but I had betrayed her. I betrayed her by getting into this fight, and so I let Aidan hit me, giving in to my fate. As my vision blacked out, I heard voices calling my name, and then I saw her. I saw her, and her tears, the tears I had caused. However the last face I truly saw was Aidan's enraged expression, and behind that, behind all the rage, there was an inkling of regret.

I guess we had both lost the battle to the devils inside us.

***

Mariam's POV

"Damian!"

But it was too late. Aidan had hit him so much Damian fell unconscious on the asphalt, a trickle of blood running down his nose and into his lip, and another cut on his temple. I couldn't believe his own friend had beat him up like that, but as I approached, I could see Aidan gazing at Damian in sadness and regret, as if he couldn't believe what he had done.

"What happened here?"

It was Mr Newton, and he was on duty, however he had come too late. I stared at Damian's seemingly lifeless body until it became blurry.

"Hey, are you crying?" I felt a touch on my arm, and I turned to find Yasmine. Oh, Yasmine!

"Damian, h-he's – Aidan –"

Yasmine pulled me into a hug, rubbing circles on my back and murmuring that he was going to be okay, In Sha Allah, and over her shoulder I watched Mr Newton take care of the situation, checking Damian while Felix and Toby ran off to the first aid to get a stretcher.

"Shit, is Damian - ?"

I turned to Theo, wiping my eyes hastily, who had a half-eaten hot dog in one hand and Denise in the other. Nowadays they were inseparable, which was totally sweet, but where had they been while Damian was being beaten up?

"I thought Damian was supposed to be with you guys?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"I thought he went to his locker or something," Denise mumbled sheepishly. "We went to the canteen, and he said he'd meet us –"

I stopped listening as I watched Mr Newton, Felix and Toby carry Damian in the stretcher while Aidan was being tended to by his girlfriend Annabelle, dabbing his cuts at the drink taps with a tissue and cooing, "Poor baby."

"We should go with him," Yasmine suggested, pointing to where they were taking Damian. He still hadn't regained consciousness, which wasn't a good sign, so I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, let's go. He's our friend, after all," I said, hurrying over to the first aid room, which was just left from the office. Yasmine, Denise and Theo followed, and when we arrived at the office we bumped into Mr Newton, who looked more frazzled than usual.

"Are you Damian's friends too?" he asked, and we all nodded. He then locked eyes with me and seemed to sense my unease, for he said, "He's going to be alright, he's just had a nasty blow to the head, but he'll come to soon, don't worry."

I nodded, adding "In Sha Allah" silently in my head before passing him to the first aid, where Felix and Toby and an office lady were gathered around Damian's bed.

"Boys, I assure you, if you wait outside, it'll be better for all of us," the office lady, Ms Harvey, I believed her name was, told Felix and Toby, who looked extremely worried about their friend, who I couldn't see from the doorway, since they were all blocking the view.

"But he's our friend! We gotta stick with him. What if he wakes up? We should be the first people he sees," Felix was acting like they were in a soap opera drama, and if I weren't so worried about Damian, I would've laughed.

"I'll take good care of him, Felix, don't you worry. Right now, I need to clean his cuts okay and if he doesn't come to in five minutes, I will have to call the ambulance," Ms Harvey clucked in sympathy, and I heard the tap running as Felix and Toby sighed in defeat.

"So does that mean we're not allowed there?" Theo whispered.

"I guess we better wait outside," Yasmine exhaled, turning just as Felix and Toby stepped out of the room.

"What are you guys doing here?" Felix asked.

"They're his real friends, remember?" Toby muttered, and a look of understanding crossed Felix's features as he regarded all of us.

"Damian really cares about you guys," he said, and I frowned, wondering why he was being so dramatic.

"Cool, man, thanks," Theo raised his hotdog to him with a smile.

"What was the fight about, if you don't mind us asking?" Denise questioned.

Toby let out a heavy breath, running his hands through his hair. "Aidan and him were having some argument about real friends or something," he explained. "In the end Aidan insulted Damian about him being Muslim, and it turned out ugly."

We all turned to the first aid room, getting a peek of Damian. Ms Harvey still tended to him, wiping the blood with the fondness of a mother and every so often checking his pulse. Ya Allah, please let him be okay.

"Why, Damian? Why'd you have to get into a fight?" Yasmine tutted under her breath.

"He can't help it," Felix shrugged. "I remember once he got into a fight with George in year nine just because George said that Damian's haircut looked gay."

Theo burst out laughing, choking a bit on his hotdog. If only Damian were here to do the Heimlich on him. "That sounds exactly like what Damian would do."

"He thinks with his heart, not his brain, that kid," Toby commented, shaking his head. "Gets him in trouble most of the time."

"You guys seem to have been through a lot with him," Denise remarked.

"Oh, yeah, you wouldn't believe the shit we went through together," Felix laughed. "Like once, we got so drunk that –"

"Dude, they don't need to know that," Toby put a hand on Felix's arm to stop him from continuing.

"Why not? It's a funny story," Felix pouted.

I was barely paying attention to Felix and Toby, though, because I was keeping my eye on Damian's progress. Ms Harvey was doing a good job, and I wondered whether she was also a nurse once upon a time, since she had the skills, taping Damian's cuts with Band-Aids wherever necessary. But most of his injuries were bruises, and there was a big red shiner on his jaw which I could see from here, and as I stared at him I didn't notice Ms Harvey addressing us.

"Are you friends of Damian's?" she asked, and I nodded, glancing at Yasmine, Theo and Denise.

"Yeah, we are." I noticed Toby and Felix had gone, and I wondered where they were. Probably getting their lunch.

"Could you look after him for a bit while I go and call his parents?" Ms Harvey asked.

"Yes, Ms Harvey, we will," Yasmine answered.

Ms Harvey beamed at all of us before hobbling around the corner, leaving us alone in the hallway.

"Damian? Are you awake, man?" Theo asked tentatively when we stepped in the room.

"Is he sleeping?" Denise whispered.

"I'm pretty sure he isn't," Yasmine whispered back.

I approached the bed, which was a bit of a tight fit for Damian since he was so tall, his feet almost hanging off the end, and peered over at him. He had a slight crease in his brows, and up close I noticed how beaten up he was. Splotches of pink and purple where Aidan had hit him, but otherwise the evidence was generally cleaned away by Ms Harvey. The only comfort I had was that Aidan had looked worse, with a bruise around his eye and a bloody nose, however he was still walking and conscious. Damian, however, wasn't. Until his eyelids fluttered, and I held my breath.

"Damian?"

I wasn't ready for those bright aquamarine eyes to reveal themselves, but they did, and I let out a sigh of relief.

"You're alive!" I exclaimed.

Damian cracked a smile. "Were you worried about me, Mariam?"

I bit my lip. "Maybe..."

"Damian! You scared the shit out of us, dude! What the heck is wrong with you?" Theo yelled at Damian, who winced.

"Not so loud, man, my head is killing me," Damian's voice was gravelly and deep, as if he had just woken up from a deep slumber. I'd know because Nasr sounded like that in the morning.

"Sorry, dude, it's just – sorry. If only we'd been there with you, we could've stopped –"

"What's done is done, Theo, there's nothing you can do," Damian muttered, rubbing a hand over his forehead. "Man, I feel like crap."

"As one would after getting beaten up," I quipped, before getting angry. "How could you get into another fight, Damian? I thought you were past all of that!"

Damian frowned. "Why does everyone have all these thoughts about who I'm supposed to be? Can't I just be myself without any expectations?" he grumbled. "I'm sick of it."

My anger dissolved as I realized I was being a bit harsh. After all, I had heard the other side of the story. Aidan had said some bad things, and it was only natural for Damian to react that way. But he could've stepped back, especially if he had initiated the fight in the first place.

"You're right. No one has the right to tell you who you should be. That's your decision," I said softly.

Damian smiled, before grimacing. "Ouch, it hurts to smile now," he mumbled, touching his jaw.

"I think we can live without your smile, right, guys?" Theo joked.

"Meh, I'll survive," Denise shrugged.

"You're a fighter, Damian," Yasmine said, pumping her fist. "But sometimes, it's better to just step out of the ring and...walk away."

"I couldn't do that, Yaz," Damian groaned. "Do you know what Aidan said about you guys? What he said about me? That guy deserved everything he got."

"Maybe he did, maybe he didn't, but do you deserve this?" I gestured to his face.

"Yeah," Damian swallowed, and the way he responded, so quietly and dejectedly, made me feel sad. I suddenly could see the inner battle in his eyes, the battle to be good, and the battle of just being himself. Maybe this converting thing was harder on him than I thought.

"You may think that, but I don't think you deserve it," I stated firmly. "You've suffered enough already. And Aidan is a complete jerk to have hit you."

Damian's eyes sparkled. "I agree. However...I'm the bigger jerk. I hit him first."

"And any guy's reaction would be to hit back, am I right?" Denise iterated.

"Well, yeah, it's instincts, fight or flight, ya know?' Theo replied. He grinned at Damian. "And you chose to fight like a man."

Damian shook his head. "I'm no man," he muttered.

"Oh, good, he's awake!" Ms Harvey exclaimed in relief as she returned. "Damian, how're you feeling?"

"Like crap," Damian replied honestly.

Ms Harvey laughed. "Perfectly reasonable. Now, do you feel any dizziness or nausea? Is your vision blurry or anything?"

Damian blinked rapidly, as if this would help with his vision. "Uh...no. But I do have a massive headache."

"That's understandable. Unfortunately, we can't give you any Panadol for that, but you can have a sip of water from the tap," Ms Harvey began filling a plastic disposable cup with water and handing it to Damian, who sipped it slowly.

"Thanks, Ms," Damian offered her a weak smile, attempting to hand back the cup but Ms Harvey shook her head, declining it.