Haya stared at the yellow walls of her room as she thought about her impending doom's day. She had insisted on painting the walls of her room yellow despite everyone's disapproval. Yellow is a happy color and it gives me positive energy, she had argued. But right now, the yellow fairy lights which were draped around the curtains nor the yellow walls were helping with her depressed state.

Her room which was her's once, felt strange. She shouldn't be missing Taimoor. In Islamabad they slept in separate rooms , and only shared when Haya felt scared. And in Lahore too , Taimoor usually took the couch or was sleeping in the study since last few days because he was avoiding her. Then why her room was feeling foreign to her and her heart felt udaas(sad)?

Her mother had kept everything in its place. The snow globe Mariyam had gotten her on the 18th birthday lied on the study table where she had placed it. Even the novels were arranged in the same order. Nothing was moved from its place. Her room was kept in perfect condition. Then why it felt different ?

Haya looked around the room staring at the things which she were once so dear to her. Until she had left them behind. She hadn't even thought about them until now. . Reasonably speaking it wasn't that she had left, she was forced to leave. The happy meal toys which she had gotten from MC Donalds lied on the floating shelf. She had loved collecting them. She still did. Back in Islamabad ,she had a similar shelf which had happy meal toys. And her Islamabad collection of the toys was slightly larger than her own's. Mainly because Taimoor , let her have his toys and because one Happy Meal was a little too less for him . Haya smiled as she remembered , how shocked she was when Taimoor had come back from office , with two paper bags which had 8 happy meal deals. Surprised, Haya had asked for whom it was, and he had shrugged his shoulders with a "US". They had given 4 to Bua and Ali, after Haya had sneaked away the toys saying, "What is Bua going to do with toys." It was a happy memory like a happy meal !

A knock on the door interrupted her walk down the memory lane. Haya stared at the chocolate brown wooden door of her room which opened, and her mother came inside. Smiling at her mother , Haya patted for her to sit on the bed.

Few minutes later , Haya's head was in the lap on her mother who was patting her head and running fingers through her hair unconsciously while the mother daughter duo talked about Haya's stay in Islamabad. Lying in her mother's lap , she realized how much she had missed this.

"Haya meri jaan mujhe maaf kar do, mujhe tumhare abbu ko rokna chahiye tha." (Haya , my life! Forgive me . I should have stopped your father.)

"Mama it wasn't your fault. Ase maat bolain.(Don't say this.) Leave that. I am over it." And she truly was over that. Over the fact that her parents hadn't trusted her. Maybe she was being easy with her forgiveness. But they were her parents. And had always loved her. She couldn't hold that weak moment against them , forever.

"I am glad you are married to Taimoor." Her mother said as she smiled with pleasure.

"You are ? Kyun(Why) ? You always thought Taimoor's wife was going to be lucky and you always did blessed him. And I always said 'bari bechari ho ge woh'(She would be pity worthy). " Haya found herself asking, she really was interested in why her mother thought so high of Taimoor. She had always viewed him in a good light, unlike Haya.

"Because he loves and respects you Haya."

The moment her mother had said that , she wanted to gag. If it was someone else , making that claim she would have said ,"Tumhara dimag tu nai kharab ho gaya." (Have you gone out of your mind.) but since it was her mother talking Haya kept quiet and silently gestured for her to explain.

" He provided you a shoulder to cry on when you had none. He wiped your tears when no one could have. He may have made fun of your bachpana(naivety) when you were growing up . But now he looks out for it. Didn't you just tell me how once you exchanged plates with Taimoor because you weren't like what you had ordered ?"

"Par woh tu...(But that was...)" Haya began only to had her mother glare at her and she shut-uped.

"If it was someone else, he would have asked you to eat what you have ordered. Or lectured you about how stupid it was ? Or how irresponsible you were that you couldn't even order yourself food. Truth be told your father would have lectured me if I had done anything like that, even though he loves me alot. But Taimoor said nothing right ?" Her mother asked . And Haya found herself nodding. Haya wanted to argue how her father wouldn't lecture , but by the look her mother was giving her, she decided not to contradict.

"He exchanged plates with you without even saying a word." Her mother said and Haya realized how right her mother was. Taimoor hadn't said a word. He had just smiled and swapped the plates after wiggling his brows at her request. He even had smiled when he had realized that she was dead serious.

"Haya, he cares for you a lot. You are naik-naseeb(blessed) , mere bachay.(my child) We never would have someone found anyone like him. Allah jo karta hai behtar karta hai.(Whatever Allah does, is for the greater good.) "Her mother said as she kissed her forehead and got, up leaving Haya to the new spaces and questions she hadn't explored.

Was her mother, right ? Was she really lucky ? Did Taimoor really care? Most of all did he love her ? Haya's heart was answering all those questions with a yes, while her brain argued that her mother didn't know about the bet.

During those months of being married to Taimoor, she had always wondered why he had decided to play her knight in the armor and rescued her when she had no one. All those months she had spent married, she had wondered why someone so perfect like Taimoor had decided to marry her. Wasn't he the one who had called her fat? Wasn't he the one who had claimed that her husband was going to be one unlucky guy, because she was naive and indecisiveness as hell ? Then why had he decided to marry her? At first , she had rugged it under the excuse that he did it for piety and some kind of charity.

But only after a week of entertaining the thought she had thrown it out the door. No one marries someone for pity .

A month into their marriage and Haya had thought maybe he did that for his mother. Phupho had always loved Haya. It was a valid excuse that he would have married her for the sake of his mother. Haya's father had married her mother because of Dadi , it was a valid and solid rationale . But few weeks into entertaining that rationale, Haya came to an inference that he had married her, because he was a good human. And that was it.

And that inference went down the drain when Salman told her that she was only a bet. And Haya with a self-worth which equaled to zero found it easy to believe. Taimoor was the reason for her insecurity. And her heart had believed it. And the huge ass insecurity of being shit and no good was slapped into her face once again. Not every one is born with a confidence that could rattle the mountains. Some people like her, doubt their self at every step of life. So for her it was easy to believe that she was nothing but a bet. And she believed it. Because it was believable. Because Taimoor had always treated her as if she was worthless before marrying her. He never treated her like he treated the rest of the cousins , who were showered with kind smiles and compliments . While all she got was scowling face and snarky remarks.

It would have been completely naïve of her to hope that Taimoor had married her , because he was in love with her. One doesn't just fall in love in seconds. She had fallen in love with Taimoor over a period of time . It didn't happen over a night. Plus, she had adored him when they were kids and that adoration which had turned into dislike as they grew up turned into love. But for Taimoor it wasn't the case. He couldn't be in love with me. Her brain reasoned.

The worst thing about brain and heart was , that despite heart being right ! Heart is never able to come up with solid logics and reasons like brain. Heart just have feelings and emotions . Brain is super convincing while heart is gullible. Thus , whenever it was heart vs brain, brain overpowered using all the whys and where-ofs.

Haya stared at the ceiling, and the twisting fan which was spinning like a dervish. Her mother thought Taimoor was great . And she supposed he was. If only he hadn't betted on her. If only!!! Because that bet, had unsettled everything. It had put everything in jeaopardy.

Two more days and everything was going to end. Or maybe it was going to be a new beginning. She didnt know.

For nearly an hour Haya lied on her bed, thinking about what was right and what wasn't. When she closed her eyes, she dreamt about Taimoor and herself in a filed of roses.

He was holding her hand; their fingers were intertwined. The sun was high up in the skin and it felt like spring. She could the smell the faint fragrances of the red rose. They were moving through the rosy bushes together. He was looking at her with smiling eyes, while she was eyeing the rose.

It was all good until Haya had pulled her hand out of his and ran away towards the cottage which was at the end of the path they were walking. She was so excited that she didn't realize that she was leaving him behind. Rushing through the field she finally made it to the cottage. She was breathing heavily. But the adrenaline rush that she was finally at the cottage , was enough to make her smile.

"We are here, Taimoor" She shouted, looking back at the path from where she had come. Only to realize it wasn't we. There was no one behind. Taimoor wasn't there. She was there alone.

Was she lost or was Taimoor lost ? She called his name, shouted even! At first she thought that he was playing a prank by hiding behind those bushes. But he wasn't there. She called after him again and again. But all she could hear were the echoes .

The sky turned dark. And the night took over. But she couldn't find him. She even ran back to the place when she had released his hand . In the end she dropped down on her knees, begging him to come back. But he was no where. He was gone. And Haya was the one who had left him behind. Tears were dropping down her cheeks as she shouted his name for one last time. "Taimoor!" She shouted in the darkness which took her in.

The fear of losing him , and not finding her way back to him felt so real . So real, that Haya found herself jolting up shouting "Taimoor".

Haya touched her eyes which were wet. It was a dream and she was crying. IT's just a dream. She told her anxious and fearful heart as she placed her hand on it. She was glad that it was just a dream.

Tying her hair into a knot , Haya glanced at the clock . It was time for Fajr. She wanted guidance. She was desperate for the guidance of Allah and sakoon(peace) . Her heart was restless and so was her soul.

After perfoming Wazu , Haya offered namaz. Crying in the Sajood did made her heart calm. And she felt a lot better than before.

When she got done, the sunlight was creeping through her windows. It was morning . Pulling the curtains apart , she looked out the window. She could see the blue sky and hear the birds singing as the flew in circles. And the realization hit her. She had stayed on the prayer mat making dua's at lot longer than she thought.

"Assalam Aliekum Dadi....." , Haya greeted as her Dadi came into view. Sitting alone in her room , to her thoughts wasn't a good idea and so Haya had decided to go walk in the lawn. But before she could, she was welcomed by the sight of her Dadi who was sitting on her takht in the longue. Her hair, were white which left made her curious . Haya had never seen her Dadi with white hair, since her Dadi use to apply mehndi(hina) on her hair every Friday. It was kind of a ritual for her. Dadi would first apply hina on her hair in the morning and then would take bath, every Friday.

When Haya sat beside her, she kissed her forehead. Haya was touched by show of affection from her Dadi. Dadi rarely kissed her forehead before and that to on auspicious moments like passing 10th with exceptional marks or getting into engineering institute . She hadn't expected Dadi to miss her. But by the looks of her it seemed that Dadi had missed her a lot. The old lady was crying as she looked at her and smiled.

(Haya, my daughter I missed you so much, everyday. You forgot me. You didn't even call me once. Taimoor was the only one who used to call every week and inform us about your were about?)

Dadi took her hand in hers and patted them in a loving gesture. Taimoor called Dadi everyday? Wow ! She thought. She didn't know that. Apparently, she didn't know a lot off stuff.

You didn't call too)" Haya replied .

"App say he tu sab ko phone milwatay thay . Ab app gaen tu phone kis say karwatay. ( You were the one who used to dial numbers , when you were gone who was I supposed to ask)" Her Dadi replied as her eyes got wet with tears. And Haya felt like crying.

It was true. Her Dadi used to ask her to load card in her phone or dial numbers which were already stored in her phone. Haya had spent days trying to teach her Dadi how to speed dial , but at the end she had given up. Dadi , didn't want to learn. She was content with Haya dialing them for her.

And now when was gone ,Haya wondered who used to load her cards or dial numbers for her. Dadi's brother was in US and due to time difference, Dadi usually had to call them around 3 am in the morning when everyone slept. Except Haya ,who used to be either busy preparing for exams or reading a novel she was so hooked into(But poor Dadi thought that too was an assignment and used to call her university admin names for torturing students). Haya used to dial those calls for Dadi.

(Dadi you are going to make me cry in the morning!)" Haya said as she wiped her Dadi's tears using her index finger .

(Look what I got for you.)" her Dadi said as she shoved the red velvet box towards her .

Haya opened them to find a pair of silver bariley walay jhumkay ! She was stunned. Growing up she had really loved them. Her Dadi used to wear them until Dada was alive. After his death , Dadi had packed and hidden them away .

!(Dada jaan got them for you) " Haya was eyeing the jhumkay .

"Hum app ko day rehay hain. Ab yeh kan motiya ka phool he pehnay k qabil reh gaen hain. Itna wazni jhumkay nai bardasht kar saktay( I am giving these to you. My ears wont be able to support these heavy jhumkay. They are only good to wear jasmine flowers.) " Her Dadi had replied pointed to her ears which had jasmine flowers in them.

"( But Dadi these are very....)

(Haya ,keep them . It will make me happy.)" Her Dadi had said and Haya took her Dadi into a bone crushing hug.

Haya felt bad. She had always misunderstood her Dadi. Or maybe after she had left, Dadi came to realize of her importance. Whatever , it was Haya felt bad. Dadi had always favored Salman and Taya's family. Growing up she and her Dadi were close, she used to sleep with her Dadi who used to tell her stories of Rajas and Rani. But that love got lost when her Taya shifted in the same area as them. Dadi began favoring Salman and Co. to such an extent that she would call 'black', a 'white' if Salman claimed it to be white.

The differences between Haya and her Dadi continued to increase with the period of time. Until now when, her Dadi decided to give her most precious belonging . Haya didn't know what to think of the gesture. What she did know was the worth of those antique jhumkay. She remembered her mother in law asking for them and being refused, by Dadi. And now Dadi had given them to her. She was overwhelmed and touched. She didn't deserve such love. She felt unworthy of them.

As Haya sat with her Dadi , they talked about the history of those jhumkays and her Dada. Her Dadi was smiling as she reminisced the days of her jawani(youth) and how she had gotten married to Dada Jaan .

(Your Dada jaan , wrote a letter to his parents in India and asked them to come. He threatened them saying that if he didn't get married to me, then they should consider that they only had two sons. Third one died. )"

Haya stared at her Dadi with open mouth . She didn't know her Dada was so romantic and daring. Threatening one's parent with suicide and that too in 1950s. It was something huge.

(Somehow mother was convinced and I got married to your Dada.)" Her Dadi smiled as she stared into distance probably remembering the day she had gotten married .

"Pheli eid pay unho nay humaray liye yeh jhumkay aur banrasi sari India say mangwai. Unke chotay bhai Pakistan arahay thay who leaky aye. Poray khandan main charcha hoe k Afsar nay apni begum k liye India say toofay mangwain hain. "( On first Eid your Dada got these jhumkay and a bansari sari for me. He had asked his younger brother who was coming to Pakistan , to get them. Everyone in the family gossiped about it, claiming Afsar got his wife gifts, that too from India.)

(Dada loved you this much?) Haya had asked her Dadi who nodded with a shy smile on her face.

" Par apkay bachay tu sirf teen he hain.( But you only have 3 kids) Haya commented and her Dadi had blushed.

She had said as she pulled her ear lightly.

" Dadi !" Haya fake cried and both of them burst into laughter. It felt good to be back .