《You, since forever》Chapter 15
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"She was only a bet for you." The words were ringing in Haya's ears. Was she just a bet ?Was she nothing but a conquest for Taimoor ? Taimoor broke her heart in a way no one could have. Why had she given him the power to hurt her? Why had she fallen in love with him? Why did he pretend to care when she was just a bet? Why did he make her fall in love with him ? Why was her mehndi so freaking red , if she was nothing but a conquest? So many 'whys' shattered her .
Lost and broken, she sat on the bed. She was numb with betrayal. She wanted to cry in misery. She wanted to weep her sorrows away, but tears failed to escape. Was it because she had made a freaking promise to him that she won't cry? What an irony? He, who had asked her not to cry had given her thousands reasons to cry . Nothing was making sense. Nothing!
She should be feeling grateful that she had been rescued once again. Thankful, that after that she wont have to see much of Salman. Thankful that maybe now everyone would finally know that she was innocent and Salman was the devil. But at what cost had the truth been revealed? Why did she have to get her heart broken once again? Why ? She was betrayed again, and she was never going to recover from it . Because she was in love with her Mujrim.(culprit )
Haya was upset not only with Taimoor but with herself too. Despite all this, her heart was begging her to give Taimoor a chance. Her heart was asking her to dismiss whatever Salman had said. Her heart was cultivating a passage for Taimoor's forgiveness even when his crime still hadn't been proven.
She had told Aiman that she didn't want to talk to anyone. She had even refused to see her mother. But deep down, she wanted someone to hug her and tell her it was okay. Was it okay ,though?
Why had she defended Taimoor in-front of Salman? Why did it matter to her ? Why she had felt like defending him honor in-front of Salman, who was nothing but a sick cousin? Why she had lied and told Salman , that she knew about the bet. Why she had said that she would choose , Taimoor any day even if she was just a bet for him. Was it even a lie? Had she said it all because she didn't want Salman to have the satisfaction ? Was it because she didn't want Salman to know how he had done the damage he had intended to do ?
Taimoor hadn't told her . She didnt even have any slightest idea about the bet. PERIOD! Instead of shouting at him , like she should have, she had said nice things about him. She had praised Taimoor like he was her sun and the moon. She had stood beside him holding his arm with pride even though inside, the truth was callously destroying her . What a great actress I am . Salman had looked so convinced. Haya thought .
Everyone thought that they were in love. That Taimoor had married her because he loved her. What a joke ?She still couldn't get why everyone had bought it when they had claimed that Taimoor was in love with her . Had they forgotten their childhood days? Haya being swept off her feet by Taimoor , was explainable. He was charming , caring and devilishly handsome. And the fact that he was there when no one was, was enough to be get fooled by his pretense. But why in the hell everyone believed that Taimoor ,loved her? Were they that much of great actor ?Fools !She labeled everyone as fools who believed Taimoor loved her. He didn't . He hadn't . He was just a brilliant actor. She thought.
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In reality Haya was the fool who failed to see beyond the exterior. She was the short sighted one. Who was currently so blinded by rage and hurt by the betrayal that she refused to see what she should be seeing, what everyone saw. Everyone wasn't convinced because of her great acting skills or Taimoor's. They were convinced because they had seen Taimoor looking at her with love and respect when she wasn't looking. They were convinced because he tried his best to protect her. They were convinced because they had observed the fire in his eyes. He would have killed Salman for touching Haya if everyone wasn't around.
Haya was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't hear the door opening or closing. "Haya". His raspy voice called out her name. It made her lose control. The moment he said her name , she started crying as everything came back to her. Her first instinct was too run into his arms and bury her cheeks into his chest and cry her misery and frustration away.
But before she could act on those instincts, all the insults , all his jerk behavior and Salman's words came rushing to her. She was just a conquest? NO !!!! The rational part of her argued. It was pleading her to at-least give Taimoor a chance to explain. Her rationality was messed up because it believed that Taimoor loved her. If not loved her , at-least liked her or respected her.
Deciding that she shouldn't believe Salman. That she should trust her husband like he had trusted her when no one did , Haya gave in. She looked at him as she asked him what was troubling her and eating her alive.
"If you want to tell me that he was lying about the bet now is the time Taimoor." She told him as she looked at him with hope-full eyes.
She wanted Taimoor to contradict Salman. She was praying that he would tell her that they were all lies. That she mattered. That he loved her. That he cared. But one look at his pained expression told her that Salman wasn't lying. It wasn't a lie.
She took a sharp intake of breath as her resolve broke. She felt breathless all of the sudden. The world had just came crashing onto her shoulders. Her vision become poorer as the tears gathered blocking her vision. She hadn't seen it coming. His pained expression robbed her sanity and ability to think with a clear head.
But still a small part of her was waiting for him to speak. Hoping that he would eventually contradict Salman. God , she wanted him to lie , if it was the truth that she was dreading. For what felt like eternity she waited for him to speak. To deny everything but when he didn't. Haya felt her legs go numb. They refused to carry her weight and she found herself sagging into the sofa still unable to look away from him. She was thankful that she was standing near the sofa , otherwise she would have landed on the floor.
Wise men sayOnly fools rush in
Wise men were right. She was a fool . A damn fool to fall in love with a man who loathed her all her life. How could she expect him to fall in love with her ? IT was stupid of her to expect him to fall for her in those numbered days , when he had been hating on her since eternity.*
"Haya its not like...." Taimoor began but Haya was in no mood for explanation. It was either yes or a no !
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"Yes or no Taimoor !" Haya shouted. She hadn't mean to shout at him. The tone of her voice surprised her . And she flinched when she realized she was the one who had shouted.
"I am sorry Haya but...." Taimoor began but Haya lost it the moment he said sorry. She was just a bet. God she was just a bet. Did he really hate her that much? Was she this much despicable? Why did he detest her so much? What was her fault? He was sorry ! God , she was the sorry one. Sorry that she had hoped that he would fall for her. Sorry , that she herself had fallen in love with him.
""I didn't mean any of those nice things I said about you in the balcony. I don't know why I even said it. Maybe because , it is better to be only a bet than being married to Salman." she announced. She shoved his hand away from her arm and turned towards the window. "Don't you dare believe I meant a
single word I told Salman. I lied for the sake of Ami and Abbu. And well for my Mama and Baba Jani. They already are feeling guilty. When they'll come to know that their daughter is nothing but a conquest to you. They'd die of guilt and remorse. Plus, you rescued me when you did . I owed that to you. " Haya said as she gave him a sadistic smile.
"But I have to say this Taimoor, you are extremely great actor . Wow ! Like Wow ! Let me be honest. You fooled me . Yes, you did. Why did you do this Taimoor? Why ?" Haya asked as she sobbed grabbing his collar and shaking it. Habitually she leaned into his chest to cry only to pull back a few moments later after realizing what she was doing. She was going to cry into his chest because he had betrayed her. How stupid of her!
"Haya.." Taimoor began again but Haya wasn't ready for the excuses he had prepared. No ! She didn't want them . It was getting difficult to breath as if the air was being vacuumed out of the room. Her vision blurred as tears clouded her eyes. She felt numb. Betrayed , disgusted and most of all hurt. He bet on her. She was a bet. JUST A BET. She couldn't just stand there and listen to him. His voice made her heart squeeze. She loved him and most of all respected him for the gentleman he was, apparently to everyone but not to her.
Calming, her ragging heart she distanced herself from him. She needed a moment to take that all in. He wasn't her savior. He was the offender. Her criminal. He didn't just break her heart. He fixed it and then broke it into pieces that now it felt impossible to heal. He was a wolf in sheep's hide. He broke her like no-one else could. Because she had given him that power when she fell in love with him. Just a few days ago , she had realized that she loved him and now her world crashed. Her life was an unfortunate series of events. One led to another, with little time to recover.
"You made my childhood hell, why did I believe you ? Why?" Haya said as she crossed her arms and looked out the window questioning herself more than him. "I should have remembered you were the villain of my life. Like you have always claimed . I am naïve and stupid. And like you now I feel like hating my naïve self ! She gritted through his teeth. "God, I never should have forgotten it. Nature never changes." Haya whispered more to herself than to him, but he heard it all right.
"Like wow Taimoor. I feel like I have to appreciate the effort ! All this to what.... bed me? Wait I should be thankful that you didn't go for that Salman's approach. " Haya mocked him as she wiped her tears . Why was she crying? For who was she crying? She was trying to mask that hurtful expression and failing miserably.
"Now what are you waiting for ?" Haya said as she threw her dupatta on the ground. "Go ahead! Take me !" Haya shouted. If that was what he wanted who was she to resist him.
Rushing to the mirror she looked at her reflection. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were swollen, her makeup was ruined, there were black stains of liner on her cheeks. " OH ! I see it now. Not that desirable enough for you. Let me just go and wash my face. Then we can get done with it." Haya said . Her voice was like a blade slashing Taimoor.
Taimoor stood there frozen , as Haya paced around the room shouting insults at him. He didn't give a fig about them. He deserved every bit of them. All he wanted was to explain himself. But she wasn't letting him. She had gotten it all wrong.
Taimoor lost his calm the moment she decided to go wash her face. "Shut up ! Haya. It is not like that." He said as he held her in place by his forearms. He hadn't realized that he was shouting at her. "Are you saying there was no bet ?Or is that you don't like to hear the truth ?" Her voice was gruff as she stared at him , shaking to get herself out of his iron steel hold. But the more she twisted , the more his grip got tightened.
"You think that everything was about the bet ? You think it is all about bedding you? That the bet was about having you? You are fucking naïve Haya ! Whatever I would have said wont never make a difference! Right ? Because the moment Salman said it , you believed him . You won't give me a chance to explain. What do you think I am ?Well don't please . I don't want to know. But let me tell you , if that was the case, if I wanted to claim you, I would have." He clasped his fingers gesturing it was as easy as that. Haya was too confused and brain-freezed to think rationally. All she saw was red. Was he telling her that she was easy?
She was staring at him with her eyes full of loath .Haya had completely lost it the moment Taimoor whispered his apology. She loved him. God, she loved him. If only , if only he could see beyond the hate. If only he could see how much she loved him.
Taimoor was glaring at Haya as he held her close to her chest. Both of their hearts were beating frantically. They both were angry and hurt at the same time. The wind was clattering against the windows announcing the arrival of the storm, which was about to come, completely unaware of the storm ragging inside both of them.
At first when Taimoor had entered room, he was too shocked to make sense of anything. The events downstairs and everything had discombobulated him. Even the long drive hadn't helped much. Downstairs she had defended his honor, lied to Salman that she knew about the bet. And that lie, had bloomed a flower of hope in his heart that maybe she would forgive him and try to understand that it wasn't as it seemed. That maybe she would listen to him, but she hadn't . She had accused him of something , he could have never thought of.
Taimoor stared at her with disbelief and anger. How could she not see that he loved her? How could she believe Salman when he had said it was just a bet? How had she failed to notice his eye which held love for her ? Taimoor was hurt but he was masking it under the anger, like always. He had never lost control with her before , but at that prompt moment when she had dropped her organza dupatta to the ground, inviting him to have his way with her, he had lost it.
Did she really think that low of me ? He wondered as he glared into her eyes which held animosity and he realized that she did. Could he blame her ? No, he couldn't. He shouldn't .The rational side of him answered him.
That was another personality contrast they had. Taimoor was logical and composed one while Haya was irrational one, who wore her heart on sleeve , cried on the slight discomfort instead of figuring the solution out with a clear mind.
Taimoor released her the immediately, the moment he saw her flinch with pain. He felt sick, what was he doing? Maintaining a distance between them he pulled his hair in frustration as he regretted what he had just done. Never he had raised a voice on a woman , but now she had made him do that. And he deeply regretted it. And the flinch ! Had he held her that tightly ? Had he bruised her arms? He felt like punching the wall !
Haya was right , he should have informed her about the bet like Shahmeer had advised him. He should have told her even if it had happened nearly a decade ago . If not , at-least he could have confessed his feeling to her. But now it was like crying over the spilt milk as she was questioning everything he had said or done for her. It wasn't going to matter if he told her he loved her. As he believed she would consider his declaration of love, a way to get away with what had happened. Or just a way to get her into bed.
Haya was irrational and she was furious. He had to stay calm. He had to be the sane one right now. Taking deep breaths , Taimoor tried to calm himself, but her words kept ringing in his ears, slaying his heart, shattering it to pieces.
"Haya.... Just listen to me once." He began again . His voice was raw with emotions . It was a silent plea which wasn't granted.
" I want divorce." Haya said.
Was he hallucinating ? He knew Haya was over dramatic and over sensitive, but he hadn't imagined her to be this extremist. He was definitely hallucinating. Taimoor blinked twice , hoping that she would repeat herself or that the words would finally make sense to him .But none happened. She just stared at him, expecting an answer. Was she for real ? Divorce ! No ! He wasn't going to divorce her. EVER
"Haya just listen to me once ?" He began again. He was being extremely patient right now , despite being on the verge of snapping out of it. The D word she had uttered so easily, was urging him to throttle her,or shake some sense into her. She was being unreasonable without giving him a chance to explain .
" Just please Taimoor ! For the sake of Allah , stop pretending that you care. You don't . You never had. You never will. So please divorce me . Salman thinks you won the bet. You ego should be satisfied by not. If it is not, I am ready to satisfy it." Haya said as she sobbed. Taimoor felt like banging the wall. She was assuming everything on her own without giving him a chance to explain. She didn't even know how her words were like a rough knife in his heart.
"What is wrong with you, Haya ? Just let me explain" He asked looking at her. He was exasperated "You. You are what is wrong here. I don't want you anywhere me. Just leave me alone. Why did you even return back from London. Divorce me and go back." Haya said as she turned to get away from him . She could bare to look at his handsome face. Looking at him , made her want to give him a chance. But she couldn't let him play with her anymore.
Taimoor was quick. He was now standing in-front of her. His body caging her against the wall. "What are you doing? I said, just stay away." Haya whispered. She was done with him. So done.
Taimoor inched forward. Holding her chin he whispered, "So you want me to go back?" He asked and she nodded in response. She was too drained to say the words. And to scared that if she used her tongue , truth might come out.
"I creep you out." He said as he moved another inch closer. And Haya shoke her head in approval .She was lying but she needed to avoid the closure. She wanted to be shield herself. She needed to get accustomed to the fact that she was nothing but a bet. She wanted to hate him for the bet. But her heart , her heart just kept discovering new reasons to love him. Her stupid heart which was fluttering at the close proximity. Her skin which was tingling under his touch. Her eyes which were glued to him. She hated how despite all the apparent reasons to hate him; she was still trying to find one to hold on and love him.
She needed to stay away from him. "So, it won't matter if I came closer" , He asked as he stepped a little too close to her that his chest brushed against her. It was sick of her to get turned on by him right now. She was hating the effect he had on her. She could feel his minty breath on her face and it was turning her into a jello. But she found it in herself nodding in answer. "My touch doesn't affect you." He asked as he touched her cheeks, his fingers trailing up her cheekbones which had tear strains.
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