Body shamming is something which is common everywhere. And being the fat-est cousin was difficult for Haya. Whenever cousins and her relatives were around, she used to get more conscious of her body. Her brothers used to call her 'fatty'. She had never minded it. At-least not when they were not in public. Being called "fat cow" in public does hurt.

It was cold December night, the windows were cluttering as the wind thrashed against the glass, Haya lied on bed with her cousins Saman and Aiman watching a horror movie against her will. They were watching "Insidious " and Haya felt sleepy. She was not a big fan of horror movies. Mainly because she was too afraid of dark and what it held. She was lying between Aiman appa and Saman appa which was giving her some sense of security.

Owww.!!! She cried as she rubbed her arm. She did not know how and when she had fell asleep. But she was sure that appa had thrown a pillow to wake her up. It was all about waking her up. And that mere pillow which was supposed to wake her up from her slumber lead to a pillow fight. Which lead to something so disgraceful, she could never ever forget.

That pillow fight lead to jumping on bed. Saman playfully pushed her and she landed on bed. With a thud. Shit ...She thought as she realized that she had sunk bellow. To her horror the bed broke. And both her cousins started laughing making fun of her. Weren't they were supposed to look out for her and apologize. It was humiliating. If only she had not slept. If only she was not pushed. Was she so fat? All these thoughts clouded her mind, forcing her to ignore the pain from her sprained ankle.

After that humiliating night, Haya totally avoided any sort of interaction with anyone. She did not go for breakfast. She stayed in her room. Because the moment she stepped outside everyone began inquiring about the broken bed instead of her sprained ankle. The fact that she was in hiding and that Saman had spread tales of her jumping, crashing and breaking the bed made it worse.

She could not hide forever, she had to come out to eat. So, when she came out of her room everyone surrounded her as if she was some kind of celebrity. Haya hated being the center of attention .

It was Salman, her tayazaad(paternal cousin) who asked about her swollen ankle first . "Haya, I think you should go see a doctor ". He held her hand to support her as she made her way to the dining table. Salman was acting like her angel today , it was weird but she was grateful. She did need an angel right now. He got an ice pack for her. And she smiled her brightest smile. Out of her nine cousins he was the first who was seemed to be thoughtful, who seemed to care enough.

"Salman, you were talking about a doctor. I was wondering which one to consult for Haya. The one at your farm or the human one, "Taimoor retorted from the back and everyone burst into laughter. Everyone except Haya. While everyone tried to control their laughter, Haya held her tears back. She was made a laughingstock once again. She never expected this from her favorite cousin.

Salman and Taimoor high-fived. Ofcourse! They both were best friends. They were in same class, same school and stick around. But never had she thought that Taimoor would publicly call her a cow. He had not called her a 'cow', at least not in plain English but he implied that. Everyone knew about Taya's (Paternal uncle's) dairy farm. Everyone got that joke.

Haya looked at her brother, Hassan hoping that at least he would say something but what was she expecting and why ?Her brother had always referred to her a 'moti (fat)' and 'behns(cow)' . It would be ironic if he would come to her rescue now. And she should not cry because she hated crying in public.But it was beyond her control. And tears started pouring from eyes.

Taimoor was the sensible one. And she considered him the "best" of her cousins. Mainly because,he always chose her as a member in his team when they played cricket instead of making her sit on the bench as a substitution which never played. How wrong she was? Salman maybe a backstabber and charmer but never had he publicly humiliated her. Maybe he had, but Haya never thought too high of him. 'Expectations led you to hell,' her physics teacher had told her and just now Haya had realized how true his words were. It were her expectations from Taimoor that hurt more than Taimoor's words.

As her tears slid down her cheeks, Taimoor sobered. "I thought you were my friend. ",she sobbed. She really thought the best of him .She maybe even crushed on him. He was in the school football team, he was topper, he was the crush material. But not now .NEVER NOW.

"I hate you Taimoor .And I will forever hate you ", Haya said as she rushed to her room.

Aiman and Saman ,her phuphizad(paternal aunt's daughters) rushed after her but it was a little too late for that.

Haya closed the door and fell on the bed. She cried till she fell asleep. She was fat. Maybe ugly too. But being called a cow and being laughed at was something new for her. She never considered herself a beauty. NEVER but cow. It shattered her self esteem and all the self worth .

That was the last day of Haya being civil with Taimoor. From that day onwards she avoided Taimoor like a plague. She even avoided her eldest phupho(paternal aunt) who was her favorite among her dadhyal(father's side of family) just to avoid bumping into Taimoor.

Sometimes, some events and some words hurt us so much that we never get over them. They leave a scar on our soul. Become a deep rooted insecurity we are never able to overcome. We are never able to escape them. They always find us and haunt us. Apology helps but no one had apologized to her. And so, it was going to stuck with Haya.

The final nail in Haya's feeling for Taimoor happened on the day after Eid. Both her Phupho(paternal aunts) were visiting them. And like every time they sat in the lawn chatting and giggling like stupid teenagers free of worries of the world. Someone suggested that they should play truth and dare, and they began the game.

The bottle spun and to her horror it stopped on her. Haya was asked who her favorite male cousin was as a truth. Haya wanted to say Taimoor. Because even though he was a rude jerk to her , he was nice to everybody else. The day when he brought ice-cream for Alina, the smallest cousin when they went out and Alina did not, flashed in front of her eyes. Haya had loved how thoughtful he was.

Saman smiled knowing her hesitation. "We all know Haya got this big crush on Taimoor bhai(brother)." Was it that obvious? Did she still have a crush on him even though, he fat shamed her? Taimoor looked disgusted. As if the thought made him want to puke. "No, it is not true. I do not have a crush on your mean brother. Actually, I hate him." The last part was not true. None of it was. But who cared?

"Thank God. And the feeling is mutual. You disgust me fatty. You are childish, naive and ...... ," Taimoor continued but she did not stay there long enough to listen to him hurling insults at her.

With passing years, the mutual dislike increased. The rift between them turned into mutual hatred.Of which everyone in the family knew . If Taimoor said "Come on lets drink coffee". Haya would go like " No ! let us go for milk tea". In her defense , she REALLY did love tea. On family gatherings like Eid or some Shadi where everyone was around, they would avoid each other like plaque. And if they were forced to sit together , they had their sharp knives out to chop other to pieces. That was how it was until Taimoor left for further studies to London.

Those 5 years were blissful. She was able to meet her favorite phupho, nearly every day. Eids were a blast too. But now he was coming back for Saman's nikkah . And with Phupho shifted in the same colony as theirs and she knew she would have to see him , often. And even though she had lost all the excess weight she still was not confident in her own skin. Thanks to his words which had stayed with her even when he had not.

This is it. I am apologizing for the messed u tenses and spelling mistakes if there were any. Please feel free to comment what you like. But hate comments aren't welcome(Hate comments for me.Feel free to hate the characters from the stories .I really don't mind. So that was the first chapter. Tell me what you think. And congratulations to all LIVERPOOL FANS.YAYYYYY WE WON. hahah I am so into football.Please, please, leave me comments. Any thing

Lots of love XOXOXOXOX

STAY SAFEEEE ,LOTS OF PRAYERRRS YOUR WAYYYYY