《Heathers: The Musical - Lyric Book》My Dead Gay Son
Advertisement
Performed by;
•Ram Sweeney's Father (Bill Sweeney)
•Kurt Kelly's Father (Paul Kelly)
•Congregation
RAM'S DAD
You wait just a minute, Paul!
It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world a place our boys could not live in!
They were not dirty!
They were not wrong!
They were not lonely verses
in the Lord's great song!
KURT'S DAD
Our boys were pansies, Bill!
RAM'S DAD
Yes! My boy's a homosexual,
and that don't scare me none --
I want the world to know...
I love my dead gay son!
I've been thinking. Praying.
Reading some magazines. And it's time we opened our eyes.
Well, the good Lord made the universe
The Lord created man.
And I believe it's all a part of his gigantic plan.
I know God has a reason
for each mountain and each flower, and why he chose to let our boys get busy in the shower!
They were not dirty --
They were not fruits!
They were just two stray laces in the Lord's big boots.
Well, I never cared for homos much until I reared me one, but now I've learned to love...
I love my dead gay son!
CONGREGATION
He loves his son, he loves his son!
His dead gay son!
RAM'S DAD
Now, I say my boy's in heaven and he's tanning by the pool.
The cherubim walk him and him, and Jesus says it's cool!!
They don't have crime or hatred, there's no bigotry or cursin' --
Just friendly fellows dressed up like their fav'rite village person!
They were not dirty --
They just had flair!
They were two bright red ribbons in the Lord's long hair.
Well, I used to see a homo and go reachin' for my gun,
but now I've learned to love...
And furthermore! --
(to Kurt's dad)
Advertisement
These boys were brave as hell!
These boys, they knew damn well!
Those folks would judge 'em, they were desperate to be free!
They took a rebel stance, stripped to their underpants!
Paul, I can't believe that you still refuse to get a clue, after all that we been through --
I'm talking you and me!
In the summer of '83.
(Congregation gasps)
KURT'S DAD
That.... was one hell of a fishing trip.
(A long beat. Kurt's dad approaches Ram's dad and kisses him, hard. They embrace.)
CONGREGATION
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
They were not dirty - Whoa!
And not perverse -- No no!
They were two stray rhinestones
on the Lord's big purse!
BOTH DADS
Our jobs are now continuing that work that they begun!
CONGREGATION
'Cause now we love, love, love!
We love your dead --
BOTH DADS
They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings!
They grab a mate and roller skate while Judy Garland sings!
They live a playful afterlife that's fancy-free and reckless!
KURT'S DAD
They swing upon the pearly gates --
BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION
And wear a pearly necklace!
Whoo!
They were not dirty!
They were good men!
And now they're happy bear cubs in the Lord's big den!
BOTH DADS
Go forth and love each other now, like our boys would have done.
EVERYONE
We'll teach the world to love...
BOTH DADS
I love my dead gay son!
My son! My son!
CONGREGATION
Not half bad, your dead gay son!
Wish I had your dead gay son!
Thank you, dad, for your...
BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION
Dead gay son
Advertisement
- In Serial16 Chapters
Permanight (Hiatus)
The world of Mecc has fallen into permanent night. Monsters roam the countryside, the sun refuses to rise, and towns and cities alike are falling into disarray. Their only hope is the ancient prophecy, which says a hero of light will emerge to save humanity in their darkest hour... 20 years from now. Too little, too late for those living now. In the midst of the the apocalypse, college student Oscar McAllister finds himself out of a job and out of luck. After accidentally ending up slaying a daemon on his way to get the groceries however, Oscar is haplessly drawn into the world of adventuring and questing, and with the old world falling apart - Oscar becomes one of the many tasked with trying to hold everything together. As he fights however, he is forced to face not just the evil that lurks in the shadows: but the indifference that lurks in people’s hearts. The world is playing a waiting game with human lives, and Oscar is caught right in the middle of it. Note: This is a dark LitRPG story, with dungeons, levelling, and quests in a contemporary setting. Permanight is currently on hiatus while I prepare a rewrite based on the current feedback I've recieved. I'm sorry for the bad news, but I want to bring the world to life in a way that feels real, and at the moment - I'm not entirely convinced that I'm doing that.
8 143 - In Serial10 Chapters
Battle for Supremacy: Rise of the Chosen
The world is at war with each species trying to gain absolute power, but to no avail. After fighting for years, peace is finally about to prevail when a secret about a hidden throne unveils itself, one that has the ability to make its occupant the most powerful being in the world. Battles erupt again. Only this time, it is more gruesome and sanguinary. But what no one knows is that the throne is not only capable, it even has a secret, a secret that might bring the rise of the fallen legacy. Now, who will emerge victorious and occupy the throne to become the supreme ruler of the world? And what is the secret that has the power to ruin everyone? Or perhaps, not? Read on to find out more.
8 86 - In Serial33 Chapters
The Ghost's Girl
"I know who I was. I was Aevlin, raised by Callily, wife of Alaric, son of the mad king," she said the words as if they belonged to someone else. Not her name, not her story. "I was a woodcrafter's apprentice, a strict woman's daughter, a selfish girl's sister. But you know that already. And she's dead." the girl's eyes glistened with tears that would not fall. She would not let them. "Does it matter?"The descendants of the last king have lived in hiding since before his death, but through a series of premeditated coincidences, Aevlin Saliz finds herself in her cousin's palace. There she faces the trials of mental labor, the allure of magic, and the stirrings of rebellion, all while doing her best to hide her identity as both royal and mage. But the desire to belong puts her independence to the test when a plot to overthrow the king in her name is uncovered. Aevlin must choose between quiet submission and taking control of her own destiny. [cover photo by Alice Alinari on Unsplash]
8 131 - In Serial8 Chapters
Dreamworld: The First Age
For six years Katie, the archangel, has been a part of heaven's military, fighting a losing war with the endless void known as the black empire. She and her comrades fight for the lives of every person in the universe. Planets destroyed, galaxies swallowed, and dimensions obliterated. Madness slowly consumes her as she loses her allies to this conflict. In this madness, she slowly discovers her true purpose in life.
8 132 - In Serial6 Chapters
It Always Rains During Gym Class
Tired of his unchanging life in the remote town he grew up in, Finn decides to move to the city. However, the life waiting for him may not be the same one he'd always dreamed of. Cover art by: StickyPotato
8 157 - In Serial32 Chapters
Keeping Up With Cade
They hooked up a lot. It was nothing else even if she wanted it to be – which she didn’t. It was convenient because he lived with her best friend – and it was good. What more could she want?
8 172

