Performed by;

•Ram Sweeney's Father (Bill Sweeney)

•Kurt Kelly's Father (Paul Kelly)

•Congregation

RAM'S DAD

You wait just a minute, Paul!

It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world a place our boys could not live in!

They were not dirty!

They were not wrong!

They were not lonely verses

in the Lord's great song!

KURT'S DAD

Our boys were pansies, Bill!

RAM'S DAD

Yes! My boy's a homosexual,

and that don't scare me none --

I want the world to know...

I love my dead gay son!

I've been thinking. Praying.

Reading some magazines. And it's time we opened our eyes.

Well, the good Lord made the universe

The Lord created man.

And I believe it's all a part of his gigantic plan.

I know God has a reason

for each mountain and each flower, and why he chose to let our boys get busy in the shower!

They were not dirty --

They were not fruits!

They were just two stray laces in the Lord's big boots.

Well, I never cared for homos much until I reared me one, but now I've learned to love...

I love my dead gay son!

CONGREGATION

He loves his son, he loves his son!

His dead gay son!

RAM'S DAD

Now, I say my boy's in heaven and he's tanning by the pool.

The cherubim walk him and him, and Jesus says it's cool!!

They don't have crime or hatred, there's no bigotry or cursin' --

Just friendly fellows dressed up like their fav'rite village person!

They were not dirty --

They just had flair!

They were two bright red ribbons in the Lord's long hair.

Well, I used to see a homo and go reachin' for my gun,

but now I've learned to love...

And furthermore! --

(to Kurt's dad)

These boys were brave as hell!

These boys, they knew damn well!

Those folks would judge 'em, they were desperate to be free!

They took a rebel stance, stripped to their underpants!

Paul, I can't believe that you still refuse to get a clue, after all that we been through --

I'm talking you and me!

In the summer of '83.

(Congregation gasps)

KURT'S DAD

That.... was one hell of a fishing trip.

(A long beat. Kurt's dad approaches Ram's dad and kisses him, hard. They embrace.)

CONGREGATION

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

They were not dirty - Whoa!

And not perverse -- No no!

They were two stray rhinestones

on the Lord's big purse!

BOTH DADS

Our jobs are now continuing that work that they begun!

CONGREGATION

'Cause now we love, love, love!

We love your dead --

BOTH DADS

They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings!

They grab a mate and roller skate while Judy Garland sings!

They live a playful afterlife that's fancy-free and reckless!

KURT'S DAD

They swing upon the pearly gates --

BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION

And wear a pearly necklace!

Whoo!

They were not dirty!

They were good men!

And now they're happy bear cubs in the Lord's big den!

BOTH DADS

Go forth and love each other now, like our boys would have done.

EVERYONE

We'll teach the world to love...

BOTH DADS

I love my dead gay son!

My son! My son!

CONGREGATION

Not half bad, your dead gay son!

Wish I had your dead gay son!

Thank you, dad, for your...

BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION

Dead gay son