I woke up, looking to my side. Ram was still sleeping, his chest moving up and down slowly. I smiled and got out of bed, stretching. I never gave myself a proper tour of Ram's room, so I decided to look around. I opened a door and was met with stairs. I decided to not go down there just yet. I looked at the dresser. A signed football and a photo of Ram and his Dad was in it. The tan walls stood out to me. I'd never thought of having tan walls, it seemed weird to me, but it looked nice. I walked back over to the closet, opening the doors again. I looked over my shoulder, Ram was still asleep, and he probably wouldn't mind. I carefully stepped down the wooden stairs. When I got to the bottom, I spotted a light switch and flipped it on. The grey room lit up. I could see a pool table, and as I walked in deeper, there was a big TV with leather reclining chairs, a fish tank, and lots of football related items, including his gear. I walked over to the gear, wondering if I would look good in it. Grabbing the outfit, I threw it on over my t-shirt and pants, and put the helmet on. I stepped out, looking in the mirror, turning around and trying out different poses in it. "Well somebody has a future career in modeling." I jumped and looked behind me. Ram was standing there. "OH uhm, sorry. I'll put it back-" "Don't be sorry, you look good in it. You can keep it on if you want. Anyways, how'd you find out about here?" I looked away. "I accidentally found it while exploring your room. I didn't wanna wake you up." I tried to remove the helmet, but it wouldn't come off. He smirked and watched me struggle. "I can help you, just say you need help." I kept pulling and it wouldn't come off. "Fineeee. I need help." He walked over and uncliped some things and took it off my head. My red hair was a frizzy mess. "Thanks." I stepped out of the rest of the outfit, smiling, and then gave him a hug, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something?" I asked. "Well actually, Mom and Dad wanted to know if you wanted to go out for breakfast. Probably to Denny's or something." "That sounds great. Do you have a brush or comb I could borrow?" He smiled. "Which brings me to what else I was gonna say. Follow me." I walked behind him to the bathroom, where he pulled out a box with a brush, a comb, and makeup. "Oh, geez, you didn't have to do that." I got ready and Ram stood next to me, shaving his face and brushing his teeth. I began to brush my teeth, looking in the mirror. He made a funny face at me, and then grabbed me and tickled my back. I laughed and squealed, spitting toothpaste into the sink. He stopped and I finished, washing the excess toothpaste out of my mouth. We walked out of the bathroom, and he grabbed my hand, spinning me around. I giggled a bit and we walked outside, his parents were waiting for us in the car. "So Heather, did you sleep well?" Ram's mom asked me. "Yeah, I did! I actually really like your room Rammie. I never thought of tan walls before." "Wow. That's the best nickname you could come up with?" He nudged me with his elbow. "What am I supposed to call you? Arm?" I smirked and looked at him. "Nah, call me daddy." His mom turned around and slapped him on the thigh, clearing her throat. I froze for a second, scared. Was she going to hit me like mom did? I started to feel my heart pound and I started breathing faster. I felt someone grab my forearm and twist my head. "Heather, are you okay?" I blinked a couple times, unsure what happened. "O-Oh yeah. Sorry." I looked out the window, watching as we pulled into the restaurant. I got out of the car, waiting for Ram to walk around. When he finally appeared, I smiled and held his hand, walking inside. I swung back and forth, and followed the lady to the booth. As we walked, I scanned the surrounding area. My eyes stopped on a familiar face. Heather Chandler. She looked at me and smiled. I glared and looked away. "Hey, what was that for?" I looked at Ram. "Are you insane? I just told you why we're fighting." We sat down, and he rolled his eyes. "I get that that was fucked up, but you gotta forgive each other." I looked at him, extremely concerned. "Can I please speak to Ram Sweeney? She bullied me and then acted like she didn't care if I died." He rolled his eyes. "Have you ever thought maybe she was really scared? Maybe she was in shock or something." I opened the menu, a little upset. "Is everything okay? Is there something we should know?" His dad asked. "Huh? Oh, no. Just something going on with my friends." The waitress came over and took our drink orders. I asked for some water, and so did Ram. I saw him whisper something to the lady and she nodded. His parents ordered coffee. I chatted with Ram and his parents, while Ram rested his hand on my thigh. I placed my hand on top of his. The lady came back with our drinks, but placed a milkshake down. "Um excuse me we didn't-" Ram stopped me. "Nah, I did. Enjoy." He placed two straws in it. I took a sip out of the strawberry flavored drink, leaning into Ram a bit. I sighed, looking back over at Chandler out of curiosity. She was stirring her straw in her water, looking down at the table. I didn't feel bad for her, she deserved to feel horrible because of what she did to me. The waitress came over and took our food orders. I sat up, taking another sip of the shake. Ram took a sip as well, and I kept it in my mouth for a little. It froze my tastebuds, and my mouth. The food came and I swallowed it. The flavor was gone, I couldn't taste anything. It was a tactic I'd used before to evade purging. I didn't realize how fast I'd been eating. I looked up and saw Ram and Mr and Mrs.Sweeney staring at me. I couldn't help it. It was a habit I could never break, it was too hard to stop. I bit into my lip, muttering a sorry. I had lost my appetite. I felt okay! Maybe I wouldn't pu-. I felt my stomach twist and turn. "Excuse me for a moment." I got up, heading to the bathroom. I closed the stall door behind me, my hands shaking. My finger crept up to my mouth, and made its way down my throat. Puke poured out my mouth, not stopping. I closed my mouth to hopefully make it stop, but it didn't. My mouth was forced open, and my head felt light. I closed my eyes, slumping over. I woke up to water dripping off my face. I was propped up against the stall wall. "What the fuck?" I looked up. "Oh thank god you're okay. I was so scared Heather I-" I looked up. It was Heather Chandler. I was about to yell at her, but something was different. She had tears streaming down her face, her makeup was ruined. She was shaking something awful. I stood up and grabbed her. "Hey hey, calm down. It's okay." I rubbed her back, holding her arm. She pulled away from me. "YOU THINK THIS IS OKAY? YOU ALMOST FUCKING DYING IS OKAY?" Her voice was hoarse and scratchy. She looked angry, but then rolled forward, melting down. "I'm so sorry Heather. I'm so sorry for being like that to you" She swallowed, "I was in shock and, and.." she looked up at me. "I didn't want to believe you could d-die." I stood there, emotionless, looking at her. I'd never thought she cared about me that much. I fell down on top of her, wrapping my arms around her and crying into her red shirt. I heard a knock on the stall door. "Heather, are you okay in there?" The voice was soft. It must be Mrs.Sweeney. I sniffled. "Yeah, I'll be out in a moment." I motioned for Chandler to leave the stall. "Honey, do you wanna talk? Are you sure you're okay?" Her voice was so light and soft, almost as if you could drift away into a soft land with marmalade skies and pink clouds with soft, silk pillows. She obviously was deeply concerned for me. Chandler opened the door in the stall next to me and walked out. "Yeah, i'm sure i'm okay. I just don't feel well." Oh god, I'd have to go home to my mother. "Well, we're all set to go. Come out when you're ready, there's no rush." I loved her. I wanted to be her child. But then Ram and I would siblings so I guess I wouldn't want to be her child. I opened the door. I knew I looked like a hot mess. I was about to open the bathroom door to leave but she grabbed me and gave me a tight hug. "It's okay to not be okay." I squeezed her back, trying to not cry. She let go of me and moved a loose strand of red hair out of my face. "You have really pretty eyes, did you know that?" I smiled and she smiled back. "We should probably head back." "Okay." I was tired, but I still managed to walk back to the table. Ram turned his head and looked at me, scared. "Jesus, color me petrified. Are you alright? What happened? You look like a mess." "I'll explain tonight. I'm just tired right now, okay?" Ram looked at me, sighing. "Okay. We can go then." He grabbed my waist, guiding me to the car. We pulled into my driveway. Ram started to get out. "No. You don't wanna come in, trust me. Thanks for taking me for breakfast. Sorry that happened. Bye." He gave me a peck on the lips and got back in the car. I waved bye once more and walked up the small concrete steps. I opened the door and walked to my room, flopping on my bed and falling asleep.

I woke up and looked at my alarm clock. 5:45? How long had I been sleeping? I rubbed my eyes and grabbed my phone, dialing Ram. The phone rang for a while, but nobody picked up. I put the phone back on the wall, sighing, in the starfish position. I closed my eyes again, but then the phone rang. "About time." I grabbed the phone, putting it against my ear. "Sorry Heather! Mom needed to talk to me for a sec." I twirled my finger in the cord. "Oh it's really no problem. I don't mind." I heard a door shut in my house. Mom was home, so who could it be? "Uh, hey Ram, I'll be right back." I set the phone down and opened my door a tiny bit, looking out the crack. I knew exactly who it was. "DADDYYYY!" I opened my door and ran over to him. He smiled and I jumped onto him. "Heya there my little dragonfly. How are ya?" He set me down and put his bag on the table. "Guess what." I could hardly contain my excitement! I loved my father. "What?" He took his black fedora off. "I have a boyfriend." He smiled at me. "Now isn't that lovely. Where's your mom?" My smile faded. " I dunno, I have to get back to a call." I saw my brother walk in after my father. I slowly closed my door, picking the phone back up. "Ram? You still here?"

"Yeppers. Now, tell me what happened at breakfast."

I lowered my volume to whisper so only Ram could hear. My family could never find out.

"Well, I felt my stomach start to turn. I walked into the bathroom and puked and it wouldn't stop coming out so I passed out. I woke up and I was dripping wet and Chandler had woken me up by splashing me with water. We talked and cried and that's really it."

"I see." He said. "Well, are you okay now? I heard yelling." I chuckled. "No, my dad and brother came home. I was just excited." I heard a horn

. "Shitttt. I gotta go, I love ya to death." " Love ya too." "Bye." Ram hung up. I put my phone back and layed down. I felt bad for earlier. I grabbed my corset and tightened it as far as it would go. I could hardly breath. I stared at myself in the mirror, suffering. My brother walked in, "Jesus fucking christ have you heard of knocking!?" I snapped at him. "Love you too Heather. Anyways, describe him." My brother was 24. He had dad's brown hair. "Describe who?" He playfully shoved me. "Your boyfriend dummy." I let out a small laugh. "Hmm, let's see. He's got chestnut brown hair like yours and dads. He's got nice blue eyes. He's about 5'11. Really nice build, he plays football so he's really muscular. Not very smart, but really kind." I blushed. Ram was such an amazing guy, and I realized how much I cared about him. "So when do we meet him?" I thought about it for a second. "Tomorrow could work actually." He grinned. "Mom'll kill you!" We play wrestled for a bit before I heard a loud bang. Me and my brother, James, looked up. "C'mere you bitch. I oughta kill you~." Mom was home, and drunk. I started to tremble. I didn't want her to harm me. I felt myself begin to develop tears. My mother kicked open the door, the smell of alcohol filled my room. I tried to run, but I couldn't. My vision felt like I was staring through a fisheye lens. Blood pounded in my ears, and felt my throat dry up and it was getting hard to breath. James got off my bed and tried to shove my mom out of the room. She shoved him outside the door and slammed it shut, locking it. She grabbed a switchblade from her pocket, smiling evilly at me. I tried to run away, but I still couldn't. She threw me into the corner, glaring down at me. "M-Mom no. Please don't" tears flowed down my face. She swung her arm, dragging the blade across my cheek. It then cut my forehead. I screamed in pain, blood blocking the vision of my right eye. I heard a loud bang and my dad ran in, pulling my mom away. My green and white shirt was stained crimson. I stared at my family for a moment, before running out of the house. I kept running, not stopping for anything. I could hardly breathe, pain overwhelmed me. I reached a familiar house, and slammed my fist on the door. My hands were going numb. I couldn't tell how much blood I'd lost. The door opened and I fell forward into the hands of Ram. It was so hard for me to breathe now that I wanted to stop. I looked over and saw others beside Ram and his parents. Heather's mom? I spotted Mackie, she looked over and must have screamed. "OH JESUS CHRIST." Ram picked me up and ran me to the bathroom, Heather behind us. He sat me down on the toilet, tearing apart the bathroom. Heather grabbed my hand. "HEATHER WHAT HAPPENED?" I opened my mouth, gasping for air. Ram turned around with medical supplies. "Help now talk later." They wiped my wounds with a towel, peroxide seeped into the cuts, burning and bubbling. "Are we gonna need to get her to the hospital for stitches?" Heather asked Ram nervously. "No, they're not as deep as they seem. She'll be okay I think." He put medical tape over the wound on my forehead, Heather doing the same to my cheek. I started to cry again. I felt like a baby, that I needed others to take care of me. Heather rested her head on top of mine. "Oh honey. What happened?" The scenario began to play again. I saw my mom with the blade in front of me again. "Heather. HEATHER." I snapped out of it, looking at Ram. "It's okay. You're safe now." I looked around. "I'm hungry. And thirsty. Really thirsty." Ram grabbed my hand, squatting down. "Why don't we go back to the living room, okay? Then we can eat and get a drink." "O-Okay." I stood up, and Heather grabbed one side of me, while Ram grabbed the other. We reached the living room, where the adults turned to look at us. "Shit what the hell happened? Ram why didn't you get-" "Not now mom." Him and Heather sat me down, Ram going to get me a glass of water and something to eat, while Heather stood next to me. "Can you tell me what happened? Or do you need a little bit." She gripped the chair arm tightly. ". Me and brother playing. Dad home. Mom was drunk. Walked in room. Swi-" I felt my throat close up and I began to shake. "Switchblade." I stared forward. I knew everybody in the room was staring at me. Ram came back with a glass of water and a chocolate bar. I took a sip of water. "You should tell the cops." Before I could say no, Heather spoke for me. "Are you crazy? We obviously tried before. You think they'd actually believe a couple of teenagers? Besides, we've gotten my mom to talk to them, and they always dismiss it. She gets beaten even worse. It's better to stay quiet." I felt sick. Everybody started to disagree with each other, it was too much to handle. "IT'S MY FAULT I'M SORRY." Everybody went quiet and looked at me. I didn't know why my mother hated me. It was probably my fault though. It was always my fault at home. "No no, don't be sorry. It's not your fault." Ram grabbed my arm. He stood up. "We're gonna go to bed now." He was clearly mad at the adults. "We are?" looked up at him, confused. "Yeah, let's go." He pulled me up and we went into his room, shutting and locking the door behind us. "Wait a sec, why did you lock the door. Are you gonna-" "No we aren't having sex." He opened his drawer. "Yet." I bit my lower lip, smiling. "You're a flirt, aren't you?" I said, swinging my legs back and forth. "Maybe." He threw a red shirt and some black sweatpants on the bed. "You should probably change." I looked at him. "In here or-" "No Heather, in the gym of Westerburg high. Yes here. You have undergarments on you're fine." II clenched my teeth. "About that..." He turned around. "What. Please for the love of god tell me you at LEAST have underwear on." I went red. "I do. It's just-" He cut me off. "You either forgot to wear a bra or you're on your period. Which one?" My voice cracked out of embarrassment. "The first one." "Fine, won't look. Go ahead." I changed as fast as possible, tying a bow onto the strings of the black sweats. "Guess what?" I looked up. "You have the perfect body shape for-" I slapped him. I slapped him across the face as hard as I could. "Holy fuck women are strong." He rubbed his cheek. "I regret nothing." I said, feeling confident. "Alright. You gotta rest." I rolled my eyes and climbed in bed, Ram joining me. "I mean, if you WANTED to-" I swung a pillow at him. "As if. Shut up dummy." I curled up and closed my eyes, nesting my head into the pillow. Ram wrapped his arms around me and we both fell asleep.

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I looked around, confused. My clock said 5:10. "School?" I looked at my calendar, confused. "It's not May. It's November." I shook it off and opened my drawer. There were photos of Chandler with flowers around it. I shrugged, getting dressed. Heather was outside my door. "Wait, shouldn't Heather be here?" Mac's face went dark. "Y-You shouldn't joke about that Heather." I figured she was just mad at us. "Sorry. Are we walking or?" "Let's take your car." I shrugged and grabbed my keys, driving to school. We got out, Veronica and somebody were arguing. "Who is that?" Heather looked surprised at me. "Wow, do you have memory loss? It's JD, her boyfriend?" Veronica didn't have a boyfriend. I figured I'd play it off. "Well, young love." Heather laughed. I heard sirens and turned around. They pulled into the westerburg parking lot. "Hmm, wonder what's happening." I shrugged. They rushed into the woods, and some random student came up to me. "Did you hear? School's canceled because there were gunshots in the woods." I turned and looked at Heather, we were clearly scared. The paramedics ran out with two people on stretchers. "Kurt Kelly and Ram Sweeney. Football players for westerburg. Critical condition. Gunshot wounds to the neck and chest." I froze. Ram? The love of my life Ram? I felt my knees give out. Heather barely caught me. "Oh my god... Oh my god..." I kept repeating those words like a broken record. "Get me to the grass, I'm gonna blow." She guided me to the grass, and I hurled over and puked my guts out due to shock. Heather rubbed my back. I looked up, Veronica stared at me, and then looked away with a guilty expression. "Is he, dead?" I looked at Heather. "P-Probably."

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