Ella's pov:

I feel awful.

I didn't mean to yell at Luke like that, I just was upset with the fact he would go off at someone the way he did.

I didn't even stop to think of what he was thinking... or even going through.

Instead, I assumed the worse.

Zander did mention someone hurt him really bad in the past.

Was Samantha.... that someone?

Did she hurt him?

But... she seemed so nice?

Was she.. different?

As he drove me back to our meeting place for me to be picked up to go back home, I couldn't keep myself from apologizing again every so often, but he just said he was 'fine' every single time.

But I didn't believe him one bit.

He was clearly hurting.

Once in awhile in the car, he would grip the steering wheel, or just glare at the road ahead of him.

The whole time, he couldn't even bring himself to look at me.

But I wasn't upset at him for that, I was just upset in myself.

Fast forward to now, I am sitting on my bed just looking up at my ceiling just thinking.

I am too scared to ask him if he's alright because I don't want to make him more upset or make him think I'm too 'nosy'.

I just... really hope he's okay.

I can't even think straight knowing that he's so hurt.

It's weird because.. I have never felt this way about anyone.

I mean, sure I have cared about other people's well being, like Ally's, but it's just that with Luke.. I feel different.

It actually pains me that he is in pain, and I don't understand why.

Maybe this is just another part of the 'friends' thing.

I'm still pretty new to the whole idea.

I don't exactly understand it just yet, but I am getting there.

Well, that's what Luke said before the whole situation..

Wait, is he mad at me?

I didn't even think about this before!

What if he doesn't want to be friends with me anymore after this?

Or what if he thought I didn't want to be friends with him anymore??

Before I had more time to stress myself out, I hear a couple knocks at my bedroom door followed by the sound of clicking made by heels.

I didn't even have to turn my head to know it was my mother.

She walks into my room and takes one good look at me laying in one of my big sized t-shirts and pair of loose shorts.

"Ella it's Sunday, don't you know we usually go shopping? Why aren't you dressed?!" She says and rushes over to my closet.

I roll my eyes as I don't even make an attempt to move from my comfortable position on my bed.

May have forgot.

May have not cared enough to remember.

Close enough.

"Do I have to go? You know I don't enjoy going as much as you do." But she just shakes her head while giving me a stern look.

"Ella I have no time for your complaints, why can't you just be like your sister and-..."

"Well I'm sorry I'm not Ally." I roll my eyes again but this causes her to take steps towards me.

I sit up from my position on my bed and cross my arms.

Am I acting like a child?

Yes, yes I am.

Do I feel bad?

Nope.

"Well, at least Ally doesn't talk back to me the way you are right now, so I insist you stand up and get dressed or-.."

"Or what?" At this, I can almost see the smoke coming out of her ears.

I can tell she didn't really have anything against me.

She can't ground me and make me stay at the house because I literally can't go anywhere freely anyways.

And my phone?

Please, I have stolen that back so many times she even knows it.

"Ella stop with the attitude, I am your mother."

"And I shouldn't be forced to go somewhere I don't want to go."

"You know what, Ally-.."

"Why do you keep mentioning Ally?? Sure we don't think the same but you always compare me to her."

"I don't have time for your nonsense." She tries to walk out my door but I stand up from my bed and run to close it before she had the chance to leave.

"No, tell me." I just want to hear the words out of her mouth.

She already probably thinks it.

"Ella move out of the way." She tries to touch the door handle but I move in front of it.

"Answer the question mom."

My own voice surprised me.

I wasn't asking her, I was demanding it.

Out of anger, she finally says what I have been thinking all along, "Because Ally is a better daughter than you will ever be."

The air gets caught in my throat as I take a step away from the door.

I watch as her eyes widen, almost like she didn't even believe herself that she said it, and without giving me a second glance, she leaves the room quickly.

I stare at nothing as I slowly slide down my wall and place my head in my knees.

I feel myself silently cry to myself.

Why am I crying?

I pushed her to say those words.

I just... actually hearing it...

No, I can't think like this.

If I knew it all along, why am I so surprised?

She likes Ally more, not me.

She has always liked Ally more.

I can't believe that dinner made me think otherwise.

It made me feel like I had one, small chance of hope that she didn't think that way.

Well, the truth sucks.

I hear my phone make a ding meaning that I got a text but I fight myself from taking it in my hands and reading it.

All I wanted to do was drown in my own self pity.

Slowly looking up, I take one good look at my calendar that was hung up on the other side of my room.

Just five more months until I turn 18 and I can leave this place...

For good.