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Anvesha:

I stared at the enormous building in front of me. An approving gasp left my throat even before I could hold it in. No one looked at my loose behaviour though, they were all too enamoured by the beautiful building, The University of Calcutta that stood in front of us.

As if on queue, the teachers led us inside the intricate entrance hall. Cream coloured tiles laced the entire floor. Walls were a white colour with portraits of famous students who passed this college were lined up.

The ceilings were lined with beautiful crystal chandeliers and that's when I realized something. This was all British, the building's design, the pattern of the walls...the high ceilings, all of it was British architecture. And then it didn't help my pride that I was begrudgingly appreciating their work.

Pakhi stood beside me, no signs of awe on her face, just a smile to keep up with her manners. It was highly mannerless for a women to keep her emotions on display for everyone to see, she must be thinking.

I shook my head lightly and that is when I heard the footsteps. Within a short period of time, a number of the university's students had gathered in front of us. All of them were men, standing tall on their feet with their hands behind their back.

I noticed that quite a large number of men were Indians, but it didn't mean that there wasn't any share of British men there.

And I was astonished. I did not have any idea that British men, in fact, joined Indian schools and colleges.

Wasn't it degrading for them? I thought bitterly.

I wiped the thought away from my mind as it was quickly replaced by excitement.

"Pakhi, have you been here before?" I asked the silent girl beside me.

She looked at me and gave me a smile, "I suppose I have, when I was a child. My grandfather was in the college's administration for a really short while."

Ah, so that is why she isn't that much excited.

I hadn't noticed but our teachers were addressing for us to stay at our best behaviours and that we will be escorted by two volunteering students who would show us around this castle like structure. I lost my attention again, as I made my way towards probably the first portrait of a woman I had seen in the whole place.

Gayatri Roy was written with bold letters below the painting of a women whose hair was tied behind her head in a loose braid, but her head was covered with her sari. She wore a blouse which covered her arms and a plain red sari which was wrapped around her in a fashion I hadn't seen before. She was sitting on an intricate chair and staring off at the left side with a thoughtful look on her face, yet no smile.

A brief description was written about her. It told us that she was the first women who was eligible to give the entrance test for this university.

Her hobbies included writing poems and brief plays, in which almost always a strong women was the main protagonist.

When I stared at her portrait, I couldn't help but feel as if this woman gave me motivation to not let the society's norm come in between me and my thinking; to be fearless and speak my mind.

I really wanted to know more about her.

I would have probably continued reading more about her when I was called by Pakhi. I was in a daze about the woman because I didn't see who will be escorting us for the tour.

Not until I heard someone clear there throat that I lifted my face to come face to face with a pair of icy blue eyes.

And I stood there, stunned, not moving at all. The next thing seemed to slip the ground beneath my feet.

Behind the icy blue eyed man whom I knew too well, stood another man with emerald green eyes whom I can't forget even if I tried my best.

Both Matthew and Alexander stood to their full heights, dressed in expensive coats and trousers, with ruffled colloared shirts. Matthew had a glint in his eyes, and Alexander stared at me with a tilted smiled.

Pakhi stared at me suspiciously.

I felt as if all the oxygen had been cut off my body because I was stuttering, "I-I...y-you?" I tried to say but it felt like I was talking to myself.

"Anvesha, if is not correct for you to be like this. Please control yourself." I heard Pakhi whisper in my ear as she fought to keep away the embarrassed look on her face. The other two woman were flushed with anger for me to be acting this way, but they didn't say anything.

Before I could say anything, I heard a deep voice say, "I am Alexander and this my friend Matthew. We will be delighted to give you all a tour of this university; please follow us to our first stop." And he said no more, for he turned around and the women followed him in soft strides. Matthew kept behind but he wasn't looking at me, his hands were behind his back as he quietly waited for me to start following them.

And I did. I closed my mind for any withering thoughts and payed close attention to my surroundings.

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"...and that's all that we could possibly show you. If you would like, I could show you the principal's office?" Said Alexander, with a polite tilt on his face as he waited for our answers.

"No, we all our tired, we would like for you to take us to the main hall, perhaps?" I heard Pakhi reply with no politeness in her voice.

I had no idea why the lack of interest was shown by Pakhi, but I agreed with her. My feet were aching after touring for what felt like one whole hour.

"Yes, please follow this way." I heard Matthew say with a polite tone as he led us down the hallway.

I kept my distance from all of them as I stared at the paintings that lined the empty hallway.

"You go to Bethune? I couldn't not believe it." I froze when I heard the owner of the familiar deep voice speak beside me.

I turned sideways to face Alexander and then looked around us to see if there was anyone else present.

There wasn't.

I can't say that I wasn't surprised with the way he talked to me, as if he genuinely wanted to build a conversation. But I did not want to stay here in an empty hallway with a man who I had just recently stopped hating.

"Indeed. Same can be said for you." I answered him, with a lack of interest in my voice.

I think I saw his face fall at my tone, but I can't be so sure because he was already walking with hands clasped behind his back. I was probably imagining it.

His strides were long and confident, stating the fact that he held too much pride for my indifferent nature.

"I have to show you, no wait, rather give you something. Would you walk with me to the library?" Alexander said, waiting at the end of the Art hallway. He sounded almost excited.

What is wrong with him?

I was shocked at his request, but because I was curious at what he could probably show me, I found myself giving him a curt nod.

We kept a fair distance between us as I followed him on the way I had been when he was touring us to the library.

Once we reached there, Alexander asked me to wait outside. After a moment, he told me to come inside as there was no teacher there who could restrict me from entering this area.

I followed him, suddenly feeling too uncomfortable in an empty room with a man who wasn't so much as a stranger, but whom I didn't like.

"I am going to wait here, whatever there is that you had to show me, you could show me from here." I said, and Alexander stopped walking towards the aisles. He turned around and nodded to me with an unreadable expression on his face.

I could here shuffling from the back aisles, where Alexander was probably searching for something.

He came back with a book of some sort in his hand. He didn't say anything as he handed it to me. I examined the cover, it was handmade paper and a string of thin jute rope binding the book together.

I knotted my eyebrows in confusion, "What is this?" I asked, running my hand along the delicate looking colourful paper.

He fidgeted with his cuff links. I don't know why I feel this, but I think he was almost nervous. "I, uh, found this when I was searching for some book."

But it didn't explain what it was, or why I was given the book.

He wasn't looking at me now, he was staring off at distance and I could swaer in my father that I saw his ear and cheeks turn slightly red. I got even more confused with his reaction.

"You should keep it, I think you will like it. No one knows of this book anyway, so it isn't like anyone would find it gone." He answered.

"But it would be stealing, wouldn't it?" I said suspiciously.

"No, it doesn't has the library mark on it, meaning no one had found it beofore me." He said impatiently.

Why was he so eager to give it to me? And what was with his quick change of nature? I asked to no one in particular in my mind.

I didn't ask him anything about the book and placed it in my bag.

With that he asked for me to follow him to the main hallway. And I did, not asking anything else.

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I was home before evening. I was extremely tired and my feet ached with today's work it had to do.

A thought stroked in my mind. When I and Alexander came back from the library, Pakhi was staring at me with a suspicious yet curious expression. But that wasn't shocking.

The fact that Matthew was red in the face, and his mouth was pressed into a form line, not to forget the way he kept glaring at Alexander with a so much hatred...that is what stunned me.

I didn't understand why he acted that way, but for the first time I felt fear. Not that I will admit it to anyone.

I sighed as a slightly cold wind brushed past the window.

Father wasn't back yet from his work and I was home alone. I lighted a lamp and kept it at my bed side table. I was about to go change my clothes when I caught a glimpse of the colourful cover book in my bag. Curiosity got the best of me and I found myself pulling the book out.

I sat on my bed as I slowly untied the knotted jute ropes.

I slowly slipped away the cover, coming face to face with handwritten pieces of paper. I quickly turned to the front page.

Written in crisp Bengali, 'My Journal' adorned the first page with a beautiful handwriting.

Why would Alexander give me someone's journal?

I was confused.

But not until I read the beautiful cursive handwriting at the bottom right of the page. I was speechless, my heart banging loudly in my chest.

Gayatri Roy, it read.

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