《Vikings imagines》Hvitserk imagine
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The prompts I chose are: "Why are you lying to me?", and "Forget it, you're a fucking asshole".
Warnings: cursing, mentions of sex
When you had started to befriend Ivar you had just had eyes for him.
Ivar had been mildly irritated by the fact that a young girl his age was following him everywhere, but after a few months he had grown used to it, accepting and embracing the friendship you had imposed on him.
He relished in the fact that he had your attention and care for once, not his older brothers that usually got the attention of everyone.
You grew up into a beautiful young woman, one who though she wasn't quite a shieldmaiden could stand her ground and knew her worth.
It took years for you to realize that there were other boys than just your best friend Ivar, but when your girlfriends started fussing over Ubbe, Hvitserk or Sigurd you started to notice one of them as well.
Ivar's brother Hvitserk had started to catch your eye whenever he entered the room, or when you entered a room with him in it.
You always let yourself take a brief look at him before focusing your attention on what you had planned on, trying to ignore the lanky Prince but never quite being able to do so.
You didn't notice Hvitserk's stares, but when he started teasing you you grew annoyed by him quickly.
His teasing was more of a brotherly taunting than anything, he tugged at strands of your hair or made slightly aggressive comments pointed towards you, alwas with this big stupid beautiful grin on his face.
You talked more and more often with each other though he continued his teasing, but still most of your attention lay on Ivar.
When you were talking with Hvitserk and Ivar entered the room you quickly found a way to end the conversation and to slip away to Ivar, who was already expectantly waiting for you.
You didn't see the way Hvitserk was glaring at both you and Ivar as soon as his younger brother stole you away from him, which started out in a way that a child would look when his brother stole his toy, but over the years became much more intense and meaningful.
Ubbe noticed and though he didn't say anything he knew that you were special to both of his younger brothers, if in completely different ways.
You had noticed from early on that Hvitserk could not be trusted with behaving in a serious manner, neither in everyday life nor with women, because he took after his father and brothers in that department.
Whereas you would think that even boys could manage to be faithful you quickly saw how adventurous and easily bored with women Hvitserk was, because he seemed to have a different girl at his side every evening at the dinner table.
It made you sick seeing him with all the different girls, the way he would shove his tongue down their throat or sometimes even profanely licking their ear, neck or fingers in front of everyone, but no one seemed to mind, no man at least.
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You loved being with Ivar because he didn't seem to lust after women the way his brothers did, and if he craved for a woman's attention it was yours, in your special friendship way.
You loved giving your attention to Ivar, you loved caring for him and doing things for him he couldn't due to his legs, but you wanted more than just an intense friendship, and definitely not with him.
You loved Ivar, immensely, but you loved him like a brother, not in any way romantically.
The only person you actually had eyes for was his brother Hvitserk, but you tried to ignore it.
You didn't want to be played, and you didn't want Ivar to know and be upset about it, which was why you kept your feelings for yourself.
It was far more than an occasional crush you had developed, and you noticed so because after years of having feelings for him those feelings didn't stop, but gradually built up to become more and more intense.
You couldn't help but stare at Hvitserk more often, so much so that Ivar finally noticed, and after questioning you and throwing a tantrum he decided to just ignore what he had learned about your feelings for his brother, so that maybe they would go away.
You had that exact same hope, but you weren't naive enough to actually think it would become true.
The more you talked to Hvitserk the more you fell for him, and each time you hoped Ivar would come sooner so you wouldn't have to stay in Hvitserk's presence any longer, because whenever you did you couldn't help but fawn over him.
You knew your girlfriends would have called your crush cute and would have encouraged you to act on it, if only to sleep with Hvitserk once, but you managed to keep it secret from them, mostly because you didn't see them often due to Ivar's neediness.
But still, whenever you left Hvitserk for Ivar the older boy became grumpy or even angry lately, so much that even you noticed his bad mood after every conversation you had.
It took days though before you met Hvitserk in the streets, and he tried to slip away from you without even greeting you.
The both of you were alone and usually he would have teased you or made a joke, but ignoring you certainly wasn't like him.
"Hvitserk!", you yelled as you turned around and watched him stop in his tracks before turning around to face you, contemplating on whether or not to answer you.
He only nodded at you without giving you one of his signature smirks, sending a curt 'hello' your way, which immediately showed you he was in no mood to talk to you.
"What's wrong?", you asked him as you made your way towards him, and Hvitserk just stood there, slightly leaned forward so his shoulders were hunching a bit, the way he usually stood, not much majestic but like a warrior, his height and shoulders giving him a lanky look.
It took a short while for you to reach him but when you did your height difference was rather dramatic, as always.
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He was much taller than you, and it was secretly something you loved about him.
"What's wrong, Hvitserk?", you repeated, determined to find his recent problem with you, but not at all sure if you wanted to know.
"Nothing's wrong. My day wasn't amazing so that's why I'm not in the best of spirits", he answered you quickly, crossing his arms over his chest as a defense mechanism.
You didn't budge in your inquiring position in front of him, and he immediately knew that you had seen through his lie.
"I'm on my way to a girl and I'm late", he tried to lie but though you looked hurt by his words you knew that it had been a lie as well.
"Why are you lying to me?", you asked, your softness making way for anger and determination he had never seen in you before.
You had always been the lovely caretaker, smiling and helpful, but he had never met you in such an agitated state.
"What's up with you all of a sudden?", Hvitserk asked back and you looked up at him questioningly.
"Are you growing desperate? Because you know Ivar doesn't give you what you need?", he asked and as soon as the words had left his lips he regretted them immensely.
You had only been determined to see if he was alright and he had made a fool of you, and the way your eyes were glossy he knew he had hurt you far more than he had intended to.
You could feel your lip tremble as you glared at him, much more angry than hurt, but definitely hurt too.
He had no right to speak to you in such a way, though you knew it was true, that you were desperate for a relationship more than friendship, and that he knew you wanted it with him scared you.
Shaking your head you turned around, before looking back at him angrily.
"Forget it, you're a fucking asshole, Hvitserk!", you whispered before starting to walk away.
Hvitserk stood and stared at you for a few moments, shocked by his words and the effect they had had on you before running to follow you.
"No, please wait", he said softly as soon as he reached you, stretching his hand out to your elbow to hold onto.
"I didn't mean what I said, and I am sorry that I did", he said and you stopped walking abruptly, nearly making him stumble into you.
You still weren't facing you, but at least you were listening.
"I didn't mean to hurt you", he added and you slowly turned around to face him.
You weren't crying, you had more dignity than that, but you were visibly upset.
"It's just... you never really have eyes for me", he said and your eyebrows raised in surprise.
He had to make fun of you, you certainly couldn't discard that idea yet, but you continued listening to him wordlessly.
"I mean you talk to me, yes, but as soon Ivar enters the room you focus on him, and I'm nothing anymore", he said and he finally felt safe enough to take his hand from your arm.
"I know you're friends with Ivar and you love him and all but... what if I want your love and affection as well?", he asked and you could see from the way he started to fiddle around with his fingers on his tunic that he just had to be serious.
"Hvitserk, you don't want my love and affection. You want it once, for one night, a few hours really, and then you want to discard of me as you do with all the other girls", you said to him and you could see his face falling.
"No I... I don't", he said softly, his shoulders falling visibly as he feverishly tried to think of what to say.
"Over the years", he started and realized that it was a good way to start before going on.
"Over the years I started to notice you more and more, but you always seemed so focused on Ivar that you didn't really care for me. So that's why I'm angry, because you don't care about me even though I've never felt about a girl the way I feel about you", he said and the honesty of his words took you by surprise.
"You're beautiful and caring and smart and you need to see what a relationship feels like, there's more to life than being just friends with someone, and I want to know what that feels like too, with you", he told you and you nearly stopped breathing.
You didn't know what to do or say but you watched Hvitserk in surprise.
"I never cared about other girls, that's true, but I do care about you. I don't know why, but I do. And those feelings didn't go away so I know they never will", he breathed out before he watched you.
Your expression had changed from anger and hurt to shock, and now you seemed to be in a state of awe and admiration, but he couldn't be sure.
He was so much more experienced in everything than you, and that he wanted you the way you had always wanted him shocked you immensely.
A smile made its way onto your face as you looked at Hvitserk, who immediately smiled back at you.
It wasn't the suggestive grin he usually wore but a heartfelt smile, and you knew for sure that he had meant every word.
Hvitserk moved his weight from one leg to the other as he watched you, both of you silent for minutes.
"May I kiss you?", he asked you and you chuckled at his uncharacteristically timid question before nodding at him.
"Yes, you may", you smiled and he smiled back at you, leaning in and setting a hand on your cheek.
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