Warnings: Ivar being rude, cursing

You were best friends with Ivar the Boneless. It was difficult, it had always been difficult, but still you were proud to say that Ivar was your best friend, and that Ivar called you his as well.

It had always been strange, you were a bit younger than him, but neither of you ever minded, Ivar and you had always been somehow inseperable.

Though Ivar had his angry fits and wasn't usually kind to anyone he was a bit more kindhearted when it came to you.

You had always supported him with anything he had in mind and he was grateful for that.

He appreciated your company immensely, but especially when he was with his brothers he tended to make mean comments that held the power, but not the intention, to hurt you most of the time.

But it never lasted, because you cared about him too much, and he tended to do or say something nice after his brothers were gone that you forgave him for hurting you.

It was also his brothers that made him see the sides to you that he hadn't noticed before, which in turn made him even meaner.

You had thought you were used to Ivar's comments by now, but every time you thought so you were usually shocked by the effects his words had on you.

When his brothers started talking about your body in a way that made Ivar entirely uncomfortable he began to point out all your little faults.

Sometimes he went as far as to comment on your physical appearance, which hurt you even more than him telling you how clumsy you were.

But you always tried to ignore it as well as you could, because Ivar was your best friend, he didn't mean it that way.

You knew he didn't mean it, why he said it was absolutely unknown to you.

But of course Ivar knew why he said it.

He felt like pointing out your faults would keep his brothers from you, since he didn't want his brothers humping about with his best friend.

That had been his original reason, but with time another one had emerged.

He didn't want you to sleep with his brothers, because he loved you far too much.

And not only as much as a best friend should. Watching you while you were busy as he had always done he had realized how mesmerizing you were.

And he had fallen for you.

It wasn't easy for him to admit, it had taken ages to admit it to himself, and it would still take ages to tell you, if ever.

Or at least that was what he had thought.

Today was your birthday, and Aslaug had decided to throw a big feast in your honor.

She liked you, and because you were her favorite son's only friend she shied no expenses to make you feel welcome.

You loved Aslaug, but you were happy you had other parents.

You didn't idolize the Queen, you saw her faults in regards of raising children, but you didn't mind it.

She loved you as one of her many children and you appreciated that.

You were used to having a feast take place at your birthday, and each year it got bigger, with more and more suitors to attend and to target you.

You knew Aslaug didn't mean any harm, you were only getting older after all, but you didn't want to marry anyone.

Or maybe that wasn't entirely true, you wanted to marry, some day, but you had one specific person in mind.

And you were sure that this person could never feel the same way about you.

You knew by the way Ivar watched the thrall girl Margerethe that he was interested in women.

You hadn't been too sure about that at first, but you also knew by the way he commented on you that he was in no way attracted to you.

And you had made your peace with it.

It hadn't been easy to accept, but you had done so, after a long frustrating process of coming to terms with it.

You would never say anything of the kind to Ivar, even if it one day broke your heart, you had sworn so to Freyja.

You loved Ivar too much to have your feelings destroy your friendship forever.

After thinking about it you had realized that you'd rather spend a lifetime as a friend at his side than be banned from staying with him because you told him how you felt.

So you kept your silence.

And Ivar kept his, because he was too stubborn to accept the fact that you would say yes in a heartbeat.

He knew it, he had seen the way you looked at him, and his brothers had told him more than just a thousand times already, but he didn't want to seem weak in accepting that he loved you.

There was no doubt at all that he did, but he felt like he couldn't show it.

It wasn't all about the fact that he had a reputation to keep, but also because he knew if he made the bond between the two of you official then people would look down on you, maybe even have an intention of hurting you.

You would become a target, as much as he was.

But after a long time of watching you interact with suitors that were absolutely despicable in his opinion he had realized that seeing you with anyone but him would make him entirely miseable.

It wasn't only because he was so used to your attention that he needed it, but also because he was absolutely and entirely in love with you.

It was your birthday and as every morning you came to the great hall to eat with Ivar and the rest of the family.

It was a tradition you loved to keep, though you had your own family and siblings to eat breakfast with you usually ate with the royal family, because Aslaug had asked you to. Whenever you were present Ivar was a little less focused on fighting with his brothers.

This morning you had come to eat breakfast in a dress that Aslaug had no doubt gifted you, the material was too costly for it to come from your family.

He watched you move into the great hall, your hair braided in a festive way, as you had your mother do on your birthday, and the dress fitting you much too well.

This was the reason why Hvitserk, who usually didn't mind you, got up from the table to greet you.

The smirk planted on his face as he sent his eyes up and down your body made Ivar's blood boil, and had Hvitserk looked at him he would have seen the intense deathglare his brother was giving him.

But Hvitserk only had eyes for you and Ivar heard the slick compliments falling from his brother's lips, compliments he had used on more than a thousand women already.

But they had the effect he wanted them to have, your face blushing bright red and your eyes averting to the floor, and then to Ivar.

Ivar only stared back at you, and you saw the look he was giving his own brother.

You moved away from Hvitserk and towards Ivar quickly, greeting him and wishing him a good morning.

He only grunted, burying his face in his ale.

Once you had finished eating, during which Ivar hadn't said a single word, the others vanished, leaving you and Ivar alone.

After they had all gone you felt Ivar's gaze on you as you tried to look everywhere but to where he was sitting.

"What is it, Ivar?", you asked him and once you looked up at him you saw an unusual emotion in his eyes, you couldn't pinpoint what it was yet, though.

"Do you want to go to the forest?", he asked you in return.

It wasn't as weird as it sounded.

Ivar and you had kept the tradition that you visited your favorite places in the woods you had discovered when you were still children whenever there was a birthday or something to celebrate, to remind yourselves that there were things to love and live for in this life.

It sounded quite depressing, but it was more a celebration of life and happiness than anything.

And especially Ivar needed to be reminded of that sometimes.

Ivar's favorite places, although always being the darkest spots in the forest, were filled with wild strength and bursting with energy, your favorite places were usually lighter, the light of the sun streaming through the branches and leaves from above and filling the ground with love and warmth.

It was an ordeal to get through the forest, especially with Ivar's condition, but he always did it.

You had offered to help him many times, but he had only ever growled at you at that.

And you understood him as much as a fully functioning person could understand a condition that was far from ordinary.

You weren't too quick on your feet, so the pace you had fit perfectly to Ivar's.

After the breakfast during which Ivar had been much too silent you had agreed to go to the forest with him, as always.

You didn't know what Ivar was thinking about, but you were certainly wondering.

Even though Ivar was rather quiet he found things to talk about, but today seemed different.

You knew he hadn't forgotten about your birthday, he had seen the gift you were wearing and had asked you to go to the forest with him, but he almost seemed anxious about it.

It certainly wasn't usual for him.

Since you wanted the both of you to feel better you had began talking, telling him about any and everything, a monologue both of you were grateful for.

But your talking stopped once you reached your conjoined favorite spot.

It was a riverbed in the middle of the woods, one side of it was filled with dark fir trees that emitted a dangerous energy, the other side was more open, a little field of grass kissed the water of the river until the grass was joined by birch trees, which almost seemed to hug you. Whereas the fir trees stood so close to each other that nearly no light at all came through to the ground the space between the birch trees was filled with light and life.

The place had what the both of you loved most joined together, it was the perfect spot for Ivar and you.

And it always was the final spot to visit before going back to Kattegat.

Once you got situated next to each other you heard Ivar's heavy breath beside you.

It made goosebumps appear on your skin, just the sound of his heavy breathing.

You didn't dare look at him, out of fear that your face would show just how attracted you were to him.

Ivar was seated beside you, watching you look around the beautiful spot.

Your spot.

He watched you intently, his eyes tracing your eyes, cheeks, lips, and down your body, clad in Aslaug's dress that he wished no one but him could see you in.

The scene from this morning kept playing in his head, the way all of his brothers had looked at you, and the way Hvitserk had advanced you.

He knew there was no way to stop them looking at you like that except for claiming you for himself, but he also knew how much danger that would put you in.

Nevertheless he couldn't stand the looks on their faces, the looks he had already seen on much too many men when they were looking at you.

He knew there was only one way to end those stares, and right now his mind was set on it.

He watched you intently, staring at you in exactly the same manner as all those other men had been, but his eyes were tainted with admiration and love.

That was the small, but very distinct difference.

He watched your eyelids flutter and your cheeks turn pink as you moved your head to meet his stare.

"What is it, Ivar?", you asked softly, your eyes searching for his to see what was clearly bothering him.

"That dress is much too tight, and your cleavage is far too big. You shouldn't whore yourself out like that", you heard him say and your face became redder, but this time with anger.

You didn't understand what he was talking about.

But then again, you never did when he was discriminating you.

This time was one too many for you, though. You sat up straighter from your relaxed position to a rather uncomfortable one as you glared at Ivar.

As you opened your mouth to speak Ivar interrupted you, surprising the both of you with doing so.

"I'm sorry", he said softly as he looked at the ground in front of you.

In his life and in all the time you had been friends Ivar had not once apologized to you.

"I did not mean it", Ivar added through his gritted teeth and you could see how much it angered him to admit he had done wrong.

You saw Ivar's nostrils flare and his breathing become heavier until he relaxed again and looked at you.

It was strange seeing Ivar so agitated, especially since you had done nothing wrong.

"It's alright, Ivar. I know you didn't", you answered him as you put your hand above his gloved one resting on the ground to calm him.

Your act only made you realize how close the two of you were sitting, and you felt the warmth his body was emitting.

When Ivar felt your hand above his he spread his fingers apart so yours fell in between his, and then quickly moved back so your fingers were trapped in between his, keeping your hand firmly resting above his gloved one.

It nearly made you smile, this reaction was so much like Ivar.

He would never openly admit that he wanted physical contact, but once you initiated it he would keep you in place to keep you close.

Looking up from your joined hands into his eyes the breath nearly caught in your throat at how vulnerable he looked.

You had never seen Ivar that way, which made you afraid of what he would say next.

"I never meant to insult you any time that I did. I only meant to...", he broke his sentence off and you saw a muscle on his face twitch, pulling his lip up in a half-scowl.

"None of those men are ever going to be good enough. They only want to...", that sentence ended in a scoff, but you could very well imagine what he meant to say.

"I would never do that", he said and you frowned at him.

What was he talking about?

You saw him turn his face away and look at the small river flowing in front of you, and you wanted to do nothing more than to take his face in your hands to gently force him to look at you.

You saw him scowl again until he nearly whipped his head around to look you straight in the eyes.

"I love you, and I cannot stand other men looking at you", he admitted and you could swear your heart stopped beating for a few seconds.

Ivar looked as shocked and taken aback as you did at his words and he let go of your fingers, pulling his hand quickly from underneath yours to rest in his lap.

You could see how insecure he looked, the cocky, sometimes even sadistic grin gone from his face, his mouth was slightly open instead, showing that he was out of his mind uncomfortable right now.

If you hadn't seen how honestly scared he looked you would have asked him if he was joking.

If all of this was just one big cruel joke.

But you knew it wasn't.

You didn't know how to react to what Ivar had just said, you just kept staring at him.

It just couldn't be, you had been pining after him for all these years, and he had secretly returned those feelings?

You watched him, studying his face until your eyes reached his slightly parted lips and you did the only thing that made sense to you at that moment, you kissed him.

It wasn't a passionate or harsh kiss, it was just your lips softly brushing his, but it was enough for a shiver to run down your spine.

Ivar didn't move at all and you pulled back, looking into his eyes.

If he looked shocked before you didn't know what this look was now.

You gulped and put a palm against his cheek, thinking that maybe that would get him out of his shell.

And it did.

He blinked in confusion, but then quickly connected his lips with yours again, putting one of his gloved hands in your carefully braided hair and pulling you closer.

When he disconnected your lips he kept your head close, forehead against forehead, your breath mingling with his.

His hand fell down to rest on your collar bone as he pulled away to properly look at you.

"Do you want to be with me?", he asked you softly and you nodded quickly.

"No, don't be too fast, think about it. I want you to be sure, to be entirely certain that you want to be mine", he added sternly.

"Ivar. I do want to be with you. I've thought about it for so long, I've wanted it for so long", you answered him.

The look of disbelief and happiness made you smile.

This side of Ivar was reserved for you, no one else was able to see him this way, but you had always been able to.

"I want to be yours, as long as you will be mine", you added, taking your hand and putting it to rest on his on your chest.

You could see Ivar nodding eagerly, finally coming back to life and out of his trance.

"I've always been yours", he answered and you chuckled at that.

You leaned back in to peck his lips, your lips lingering a bit.

"We should go back. The feast will start soon", you whispered and Ivar nodded at that.

You would return to Kattegat, to the great hall, to his brothers, and he would make sure that everyone would see that you were finally his.

That the two of you belonged together.