Harald had not slept for what felt like days.

Truth be told, he did not even know how much time had passed since they had arrived in Kattegat. It was all a blur to him. Every single day felt like a lie being lived over and over again just for the sake of going through the motions.

Outside, the sounds of celebrations rang out as the others feasted and drank to celebrate their victory. Whereas before, he would be out there joining them, now he only felt indifferent.

He did not even know his own role in Kattegat. What he was still doing there. What he was supposed to be doing now. It was all a mystery to him. He felt like an impostor, a fraudulent version of the man he used to be.

Before all of this, all he cared about was winning. Winning Kattegat, winning against Lagertha. If he knew what was going to happen to Kari before everything, he would've given it all up. All of it was nothing.

His dream of a unified Norway under his rule became trivial and insignificant in the face of all that he had lost. Losing Halfdan and the possibility of losing Kari felt like a massive slap in the face.

He felt like the stupidest man alive. He had it all wrong. He had been a fool to think that his ambition, his dream was all that mattered. He had made it his whole identity, his whole being to become that man he thought he should be when all he wanted were those two people he loved.

Now, he was supposedly one step closer to his ambition but he had lost the only two people who had cared about him enough to admit it. The only two people who ever gave a damn about him were lost to him, far from his reach. His brother was gone by his own hand.

His wife was still alive but she had not moved at all. She remained unconscious. Nothing the healer did worked. She had ground up medical herbs and given all possible concoctions to an unconscious Kari but nothing had worked.

Sometimes Harald thought that he saw a finger twitch or he would think that he saw her eyes flicker open but he would always be disappointed. That didn't stop him though from talking to her, hoping to all the gods that she could hear him.

Many had already given up hope that she would ever wake up but even if Harald felt the despair creep up on him, he refused to believe that she was still not fighting. She was not in Valhalla yet.

He knew that somewhere, wherever she was, she was fighting for her life, fighting to return to him. It may be something he conjured up in his own mind to cope with his loss but he did not care. If he knew anything about his Kari, it was that she was a fighter.

A knock interrupted his thoughts, making him look away from Kari. He sighed, rubbing at his eyes to realize that he had done it again. He had lost track of time and another night of feasting had ended. It was quiet outside which meant that everyone had either gone home or passed out from drinking too much.

"Come in." Harald called out tiredly, expecting one of the servants to enter with food and water for him.

He was surprised to see another person open the door with a plate of food, looking both out of his element and slightly intoxicated.

Hvitserk grinned sheepishly, offering him a plate with a leg of pork, sausages, and some herring. "I brought you some food from the feast."

Harald cleared his throat, accepting the plate only to place it down on the table beside the bed. "I-You didn't have to."

He didn't really feel that hungry. In fact, he hardly felt thirst or hunger from worrying over his wife. It was a kind gesture though from the other man. He guessed he was feeling guilty too over what happened. Whenever Harald couldn't avoid his duties, Hvitserk was the one who sat with Kari.

"Eh, if Kari found out that I left you to waste away, she'd hit me over the head." Hvitserk shrugged, taking a seat on the other side of Kari. "Any changes with her?"

Harald shook his head, suppressing the disappointed breath that threatened to escape him. "No. Her condition hasn't changed. I was hoping that the last thing the healer did would work but you know, still nothing."

Hvitserk assured him even though he was finding it difficult to be optimistic. "Don't lose hope. She wouldn't want you to give up so quickly. I know my sister and she's still in there, I'm sure of it."

"You seem certain? Ivar told me to drink and keep drinking until I feel better." Harald snorted, picking up the plate he had intended on ignoring and placing a piece of herring in his mouth.

"Don't listen to him. He's as worried as we are, even if he might not show it." Hvitserk scoffed, recalling how his brother had even taken the time to visit Kari.

Ivar may be pretending to be busy with the celebrations but in the midst of all that, he found the time to visit their sister, declaring to Hvitserk that there was no point watching her do nothing but sleep before returning the next day with medicinal herbs.

That brought to mind the latest remedy that the healer offered to do. Harald asked, bringing it up. "Why didn't you want to try that remedy? It could work."

"Do you really believe that?" Hvitserk peered at him curiously.

"I don't know what to believe anymore but anything. I'm willing to do anything for her to wake up." Harald said, letting some of the desperation he was feeling slip out.

It did not matter that the healer had attempted dozens of methods, trying to help her regain consciousness. They had all agreed that she had lost a lot of blood but she should've woken up by now.

Hvitserk sighed, looking over to the other man, disrupting the thoughts running through his mind. "That remedy contains an herb that is considered dangerous for women carrying a child. I don't think Kari would want to take the risk, even when she's unconscious."

Harald was rattled, shaking his head, and not understanding at all what the other man was insinuating. "I-What? What on earth are you talking about?"

Hvitserk's expression dropped, his jaw going slack upon seeing his reaction. "Kari didn't tell you? I thought she would, I mean after what we thought-"

"Tell me what?" Harald demanded, his voice raising. When he didn't receive an answer, he rounded the bed, pulled Hvitserk up by his collar, and shook him aggressively, his eyes wild. "Tell me what, Hvitserk?!"

Hvitserk blurted out. "Kari is pregnant! She is carrying your child."

At that, Harald felt his world drop out from beneath him. It had to be a joke. A sick joke. His eyes landed on Kari's unconscious form before going to her flat abdomen. It couldn't be true.

Suddenly, his mind flashed with memories before the battle. Moments when she had claimed to have a headache, instances when she would avoid certain foods, and mornings when she would be bent over in a chamber pot as she hurled her guts.

It seemed so obvious now. The signs had been so clear yet he had been blind and distracted. She should've told him but how had he not seen it?

Harald turned away, not wanting Hvitserk to see how shaken he was as he muttered mostly to himself repeatedly. "She would've told me. She wouldn't have kept this from me."

Hvitserk looked over at him worriedly, seeing the dazed expression on his face. "She was worried how you would take it but I assured her that you would be happy."

Harald stumbled backward, running a hand over his face. He waved away Hvitserk's worry as he fell upon a chair. His eyes flooded with traitorous tears as it began to dawn upon him how much he failed his family.

Finally, not being able to hold back, he started to sob into his hands. He had been trying to stay strong for the past few days but now, he could not even find it in himself to stay strong. Ignoring Hvitserk's presence, he cried for the people he failed to protect.

Halfdan, Kari, and the unborn child within her. Their child. How could Kattegat be more important than the family he had built? He was going to lose his family. His ambition would be nothing, his legacy falling into shambles. He was going to be all alone.

And it was all his fault.

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Kari did not know where she was.

One second she was bleeding out on a battlefield and the next second, everything was dark. It was too dark to see anything and to think about anything. For hours, all she did was stay there, unmoving.

It felt as if she was stuck in limbo. No way to move forward and no way to move backward. She was stuck wherever she was. From time to time, there will be a flash of light and faces. Kari thought she saw Harald carrying her or Hvitserk holding her hand or even Ivar watching her.

It was all very odd. It was as if she was in and out of consciousness. She could hear people talking but she could not tell who they were. Whispers about her condition, arguments about what to do.

She wanted to tell them all to shut up and be quiet yet there was no way of doing so. Everything felt wrong. It was as if she was underwater. It was all distorted and not right.

Just as she was about to give up, she opened her eyes to see a new scenario. The darkness melted away and she was somehow back in a familiar place.

The old walls with cracking wood, the clean floors covered in runes, the small windows to see the greenery outside, and the door with plenty of locks in place to prevent intruders from coming in.

It was her old home. She was back where it all began in Northumbria.

She was filled with a sense of nostalgia as she looked down at herself to see herself wearing her old clothes. No trace of any wounds or any of the blood she was sure that she had been covered in.

It was quiet outside. There was no trace of anyone. The town was empty of people and it was almost as if she was the only one there. Perhaps she was.

For a second, she asked herself if this was heaven. She had been expecting to open her eyes in a mess hall to roaring Vikings, expecting to see herself in Valhalla. Maybe something had gone wrong and she had been placed elsewhere.

The next moment she started to question if this was a mirage. She had vowed that she would never go back here willingly. The life she left behind was nothing but the past to her. Yet now she was proven wrong as her own mind transported her back.

"I must say, this place has definitely changed since I was last here." A voice mused from behind her, making her spin around frantically.

Kari thought she had been alone but the sight of the man proved her wrong. He was not anyone she knew so that was disappointing. If she wanted to see anyone one last time, it would have to be Harald. She deserved the chance to apologize to him for all the pain she knew she had caused him.

He was taller than her though he did not tower over her intimidatingly. He was staring at her curiously, a smile on his face as he observed her defensive actions toward him. His hair was golden but what was most striking about him were his eyes. The blueness in them seemed familiar to her.

"Who the fuck are you?" Kari questioned, glaring at the other man suspiciously. He may look familiar but that did not mean he was a welcome figure.

"Vulgar. You're definitely her." The other man chuckled to himself, his curious gaze suddenly being filled with unexpected fondness.

That caused her to pause. Somehow, he knew who she was but she did not know who he was. Maybe he was mistaken because she knew that she had never met the other man.

"Who? Who do you think I am?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You're Kari, aren't you?" The man surprisingly spoke up before extending a hand in her direction. "It's good to meet you, daughter."

Kari felt her heart drop to her stomach and her eyes widen at the realization of the man in front of her. "Y-You're Ragnar Lothbrok. But you're dead. Does this mean I'm dead too?"

Ragnar shook his head, calming her fears for a moment. "Not quite, though you're hovering dangerously close to it."

She breathed out in awe, not believing that she was seeing her father after so long. "I've always imagined what you looked like. When I found out about you, all I wanted was to see you."

He raised a brow, genuinely wishing to know the answer. "And are you satisfied?"

"I can see why people say that we look alike." She retorted, making him explode into laughter.

Once he had recovered, he smirked at her. "You're welcome."

That made her break down into giggles which were infectious to him. The two of them shared in amusement for a moment until they were submerged into silence once again.

Realizing that this was her moment to ask, Kari found herself asking him the one question that had been on her mind ever since she was a little girl. "Why did you never come back? You came back to England so many times. Even once would have been enough. I could have met you and I could've had a father."

"Kari, I-"

"You didn't even have to take me back with you. I just-I wanted to know you. Maybe I wouldn't be so lost. Maybe I wouldn't have felt so alone."

Ragnar approached her, placing a hand on her shoulder and making her look at him. "If I had known that I had a daughter, believe me, I never would have left you behind."

Finally, not helping herself, she crashed into his open arms. He pulled her into an embrace, letting out a sigh as if he had been waiting so long to see her, to hold her to him.

"Father," Kari spoke, calling him that for the first time, her voice sounding so little. It was almost like every part of her childhood, every part that felt unresolved within her, every mystery was solved.

"It's alright, Kari. My darling daughter, from the moment I knew about you, I've loved you very much." Ragnar answered softly, closing his eyes.

When they pulled back, both of their eyes seemed wet with unshed tears as they looked at one another. A small smile graced both their lips, the resemblance between them uncanny.

"What now?" Kari asked, not knowing what to do next.

"Now you go back to where you're supposed to be. Back to your brothers, your people, and your...husband." Ragnar replied, shivering playfully in disgust at the mention of Harald.

"You don't like him?" Kari wrinkled her nose at his exaggeration.

"Never been fond of the man but now that I find that he married my daughter, I have never wished him harm more than I do this second." Ragnar admitted, his eyes containing mischief.

"Father!" Kari exclaimed, shoving him as traitorous laughter escaped her mouth at his words.

"What? I know you love him but that doesn't mean that I should adore him as much as you do." He raised his hands in surrender before ruffling her hair fondly. "But he misses you and I know you miss him too. So go back there and give them hell."

Not helping herself, she latched on to his hand, holding on to it tightly. She tried to remember every trace and every scar on it, tried to brand it into her mind as she knew that this was goodbye. "Will I ever see you again?"

"Not for a very long time." He revealed, holding on to her hand just as tightly as though he could feel that she was already slipping away.

Kari's voice cracked as she attempted to stop herself from crying, her vision brightening a bit for a moment before dulling. "I'm going to miss you. You have no idea how much I'm going to miss you."

At that moment, she felt something warm encompass her whole being. A warm comforting embrace before being brought back into the world of the living. It felt like a journey coming to a close, a goodbye until next time. Kari struggled to see her father once more, only to blink herself back into nothingness.

Just before she felt herself pull away, she heard her father's voice one last time.

"Not as much as I will miss you."

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Hello everyone! I knew from the moment that I started this book and wrote Kari's character that she had to meet her dad one day. But with the events of his death, it was a bit difficult until I thought about this chapter. Let's think of it as something akin to knowing who she truly is, finally.