— 41. Truth

Hours had passed and Tova found herself sitting in front of the fire, shivering.

Bjorn sighed, walking over to her before he placed his cloak around her. He affectionately rubbed her shoulders for a brief moment before walking away.

Tova sighed and turned, watching him curiously. "Why are you not yelling at me?" She asked, a confused look on her face.

"What reason do I have to yell?" Bjorn retorted, earning a puzzled look from Tova.

"You told me yesterday that you wanted to be with me, that you wanted to marry me. I agreed yet this morning you found me trying to kill myself," Tova reminded him and Bjorn rolled his eyes at her.

"What am I supposed to say?" He argued, sighing in frustration, "I have no right to tell you what you're going through is not reason enough to kill yourself. I don't know what you're going through. I've never endured such pain before. I've never had to result to crawling around just to avoid using my legs because they hurt too much. I've never woken up to find my legs completely numb almost every morning," He paused, moving toward Tova before he knelt before her, "But you were found by me for a reason. The Gods willed it. If that isn't reason enough for you to continue living, then I don't know what is."

"You think the gods wanted you to find me?" Tova asked, frowning in confusion.

"You were miles away from this cabin. The only tracks I found in the woods were only a few feet from where you sat on the ground. I could have searched in any direction, yet I chose to head east. How could I have known you had traveled in that direction? There were no tracks. It was the will of the gods. They wanted me to find you. They want you to live. So you must not try it again," He insisted, cupping her face in his hands, "Promise me you will not do it again."

As Bjorn continued to hold her face in his hands, Tova remained silent, avoiding eye contact with him. "Promise me, Tova," He demanded and Tova sighed in defeat.

"I promise," Tova replied, an uneasy look on her face.

"You have much to live for these days. You will break the hearts of thousands if you were to die. Mine most of all," He confessed, causing them both to smile softly, "I love you and I want to spend my life with you, Tova. Don't take that away from us by killing yourself. We could be happy together."

"You would be happy with a cripple for a wife?" Tova asked, letting a loud scoff.

"When that cripple is you, most definitely," Bjorn replied as he smiled jokingly, "I have loved you since I was just a boy and didn't even know what love was, Tova. I loved you then and I love you still and I shall love you no matter what."

"Promise?" Tova questioned, smiling softly.

"Only if you promise not to try to kill yourself again," He demanded and Tova began to glare at him while he smiled innocently.

"I promise," Tova replied in a soft tone.

"Good. I promise as well. To love you no matter what, even if you are the pain in the ass most of the time," Bjorn responded, earning a playful eye roll from Tova.

"You know, you're a pain in the ass, too," Tova replied, smiling as she leaned closer to him, "As a boy, you were a moody little shit and in a way, you still are. You're now as big as a bear and fight in a way I've never seen before."

"A bear, huh?" Bjorn asked, an amused look on her face.

"Mhm," She hummed in response as she laid down on the ground, "You know, there was something I never told you."

"And what was that?" Bjorn questioned, a curious look on his face.

Tova slowly turned to Bjorn, a teasing look on her face. "When I saw you for the first time in years when you came with Lagertha to help Ragnar and I take back Kattegat..." She trailed off, beginning to smirk mischievously, "How good-looking you had become was the first thing I noticed about you. You grew into this strong, beast of a man and..." She paused, beginning to laugh, "I even wondered what it was like to bed you."

"That's weird," Bjorn commented as he shook his head.

"How?" Tova asked, frowning at him in confusion.

"I wondered the same thing about you when I saw you," He confessed, causing them both to laugh, " You did really become beautiful during those years. I mean, you were always beautiful but I didn't really notice it until I saw you after all those years. I wanted to bed you so badly but then I learned you were with Finnr."

"Ragnar had him killed, you know," Tova informed Bjorn and shrugged his shoulders, "Not that I mind, though."

"Yes, I know. I was the person he sent to kill him," He confessed, causing Tova to turn to him with wide eyes, "What?" He asked, only to have Tova loudly groan, "Are you angry or something?"

"No, I just feel stupid that I hadn't pieced it together sooner," Tova replied, shrugging her shoulders.

"He deserved it," Bjorn replied, smiling down at her.

"I can't say I disagree with that," Tova smiled as she shrugged once more, "If it makes you feel better, you're better than him."

"In what way?" Bjorn asked, smiling slightly, "In bed or as a person?"

"Both," Tova laughed in response.

"I know people are not supposed to ask such things, but how many people have you been with?" Bjorn responded, staring down at her curiously.

Tova smiled, wasting no time sitting up from her lying position. She remained silent, beginning to count on her fingers.

Bjorn watched her curiously, watching as she counted so much she had to use two hands, Bjorn's eyes widened and watched as she turned to him, holding up eight fingers.

"As far as I can remember, eight people," She admitted, causing Bjorn to stare at her in surprise.

"You've been with eight men?" He asked in disbelief.

"Eight people," She corrected him, earning a puzzled look from Bjorn.

"People?"

"People," Tova repeated, nodding her head as she gave him a knowing look.

Bjorn continued to look confused, only to have eyes widen in realization. "Oh, people. You mean, both—"

"It's not worth saying," Tova quickly changed the subject and waved him off, "How about you?"

Without hesitation, Bjorn lifted his hand, revealing three fingers. "I feel inexperienced compared to you now."

Tova smiled, finding what Bjorn said amusing. "No need. Most of my partners were bad in bed anyway," She admitted as she turned to him, "Who were the three?"

"You, Porunn, and a slave back in Hedeby. What of you?" He asked her curiously and Tova smirked.

"You, Finnr, Erlendur, this slave woman, some other people that are not worth mentioning, and..." She trailed off, turning to Bjorn with a smirk on her face, "And Queen Kwenthrith of Mercia."

"No way," Bjorn complained, shaking his head, "I don't believe you."

"You don't remember her kissing me in front of everyone?" Tova asked, giving him a puzzled look.

"No," Bjorn replied, a puzzled look on his face.

"Oh, well, it was right before you dragged me away and kissed him in that dark hallway," She informed him and Bjorn nodded in understanding.

"Wait," Bjorn suddenly froze, turning to Tova in confusion, "Does that mean you bedded her after kissing me?" He questioned and Tova shrugged, causing him to roll his eyes, "So much for loyalty."

Hearing Bjorn's words, Tova let out a loud laugh. "Loyalty? Says the one who kissed me and confessed your undying love for me while your pregnant wife was in the next room, dying of a wound to her face."

"Shut up," He snapped at Tova, glaring at her as she smirked at him.

"Never," Tova replied and shook her head.

"Sometimes I think you just love the sound of your own voice," Bjorn complained and Tova smiled.

"More than anything. I love using my mouth," She admitted, a playful smirk forming on her lips.

"You have a pretty mouth," Bjorn replied, grabbing her chin before turning her to look at him.

Tova smiled as Bjorn kissed her roughly, which lasted a short while before she pulled away. She turned away from him, smirking as she began to speak in a taunting tone. "I'm told I'm good with my tongue too."

"I can't deny that," Bjorn simply answered and it became silent between them.

"Do you want to have sex?" Tova suddenly asked, causing Bjorn to turn to her in surprise.

"That was blunt," Bjorn commented, letting out a large scoff.

"Is that a no?" Tova questioned as she rose a brow at him.

"No, no, definitely not," Bjorn quickly answered and shook his head.

"Good," Tova replied and nodded her head, "Because it would have been awkward if that wasn't where the conversation was supposed to be heading."

Bjorn wasted no time sitting up, watching as Tova moved closer to him before kneeling in between his legs.

She smiled, affectionately stroking his cheek before she rushed to kiss him. Bjorn roughly tugged her closer before she sat down in his lap. They continued to kiss and Tova closed her eyes, moaning as he kissed her neck.

Suddenly, Bjorn pulled away, cupping Tova's face in her hands. "Don't think this will make me forget what you tried to do earlier," He complained and Tova opened her eyes, trying her hardest not to look uneasy.

She realized Bjorn wasn't as much of a fool as she once thought. He knew she had done it all on purpose to avoid talking about how she tried to kill herself that morning.

"Just shut up and kiss me," She demanded, smashing her lips against Bjorn's to change the subject.

______

Days had passed and all seemed to be well between Bjorn and Tova. The duo was kneeling outside, placing traps outside for bears. Tova had taught Bjorn how to set up the traps just days before and he had caught on quick.

Once they finished, they turned to each other, beginning to smile.

The following day, they returned, frowning when they found nothing on the traps. Bjorn bent down, lightly using his hand to wipe off the snow.

Suddenly hearing a snarl, the duo looked up, their eyes widening at the sight of the bear that stood before them.

Bjorn and Tova both slowly reached for their axes, watching as the bear stood up on its hind legs and roared at them.

However, as doing so, it turned and left, causing Tova to sigh in relief. She turned to Bjorn, the two of them exchanging an uneasy look. "We should get back," She suggested and Bjorn nodded in agreement.

Moments had passed before they returned to the cabin. Knowing they needed more firewood, Bjorn went to grab some from the pile, only to frown when he noticed that a wooden barrel had been hidden underneath it all.

"What is it?" Tova asked, the two of them exchanging a look with each other.

"I don't know," Bjorn admitted, wasting no time picking it up. He shook it, revealing some liquid to be inside.

He set it down on the ground, wasting no time hacking into with his ax. The moment he opened it, Bjorn picked it up and took a whiff, his eyes widening when he realized it was mead. He quickly took a big gulp of it, groaning loudly at the taste.

He began to laugh and turned to Tova, wasting no time handing it to her. Tova quickly drank some of it, smiling widely when she realized it was still good.

"How did I not find this earlier?" She asked and Bjorn began to laugh loudly, causing her to smile at how childish he looked.

_____

That night, Bjorn and Tova sat by the fire outside. They continued to pass each other the barrel of mead, both of them drunk. But it was clear Bjorn was more drunk out of the two.

They sat with Bjorn's arm wrapped around Tova, the two of them staring at the green lights in the sky above them. "It's so beautiful, don't you think?" She asked Bjorn, who smiled gleefully.

"Indeed," Bjorn sighed and Tova turned, laughing when she realized just how drunk he was.

As the night passed on, Tova had simply sat there, watching as Bjorn made a fool of himself. She had laughed hysterically when she witnessed him get on all fours and howl at the moon, only to hear a wolf from a distance howl back.

Bjorn had laughed while Tova stood up and walked over to him.

"Alright, alright, that's enough," She demanded as she grabbed him by the shoulders, "And here I thought you were a bear, not a wolf."

Bjorn laughed loudly until finally, he turned to Tova. He grabbed her by the waist and tackled her to the ground, beginning to tickle her.

"Stop, Bjorn! Stop it!" She exclaimed as she began to laugh, "You know how ticklish I am! Stop!"

Finally, Bjorn stopped and began to kiss her neck, causing her to smile and playfully roll her eyes.

"Please, don't stop on my account," Tova told him, only to frown when he didn't move at all. She lightly lifted his head, only to groan in annoyance when she found he had fallen asleep on top of her.

"Are you kidding me right now?" She muttered under her breath and attempted to push him off. However, it was no use due to his large size, which causing her to sigh and give up.

Tova rolled her eyes at Bjorn and closed her eyes, deciding she would just have to sleep like that. It wasn't like she was cold. The fire was right next to her and Bjorn's large frame completely shielded her from any cold.

_____

The following morning, Tova ended up waking up when Bjorn did. She watched as he sat up, only to laugh when she found his face covered in frost. She frowned when she heard the sounds of the bear from days before.

However, the moment Bjorn had thrown up close to her, she began to gag instead of paying attention to the bear.

The duo exchanged a look with each other, seeing the bear not too far away from them.

"What are we going to do?" Tova asked, knowing the bear would never leave them alone.

"I am going to kill that bear," He declared, causing Tova to give him a curious look.

"Do you want help?" She asked, only to watch as Bjorn shook his head.

"I want to do this on my own," He admitted, smiling as he placed a hand on the side of her face, "And I shall bring you back its furs. Just go inside before you freeze."

Tova couldn't help but give him a concerned look but reluctantly nodded her head. She sighed, watching as Bjorn walked away without another word said.

____

Hours passed and Tova found herself pacing outside the cabin, worried that Bjorn still hadn't returned. Suddenly hearing someone walk through the snow, Tova turned, sighing in relief at the sight of Bjorn.

She ran over to Bjorn, rushing to hug him. She frowned when he groaned, only to see the wound on his chest. "You're wounded!" She exclaimed, a concerned look appearing on her face.

"I'm fine," He assured her, beginning to groan in pain, "I just need you to sew up the wounds, alright? Can you do that?" He asked and Tova wasted no time nodding.

Moments had passed and Bjorn found himself sitting outside the cabin with Tova standing in front of him. He winced in pain as Tova ripped open his shirt, slowly picking up the blade she had placed in the fire.

Bjorn stared at it with wide eyes, the glowing redness of the metal making him feel uneasy.

Tova ended up, flicking his cheek, which caused him to turn to her in confusion. However, as he was distracted, Tova pressed the hot metal of her blade on his wound, causing Bjorn to roar in pain.