— 34. To the Gates!

While Tova was with Bjorn, Ragnar, and the others attacking by sea, Lagertha led another large number of forces alongside Kalf by land.

Tova looked upwards as they approached the walls of Paris. She smiled slightly in admiration, eager to fight once more. It had been nearly a year since they fought in Wessex and she knew Paris would be even better.

She turned and watched as Floki sounded the horn, signaling their preparation to attack. She was about to walk toward Ragnar, only to have Bjorn grab her arm and force her to turn to him.

"You've been avoiding me ever since Athelstan died," Bjorn suddenly spoke up, causing Tova to sigh and roll her eyes in frustration as she turned to face him.

"This is not the time to be talking about this," She complained, giving him an annoyed look.

"Then when is the time?" Bjorn asked her with an attitude and leaned closer to Tova, "I love you, Tova, and I want to be with you. But you keep pushing me away. What better time to talk about it than now? One of us could die today and never again will be able to speak of it."

"We will not die, Bjorn," Tova argued in a stern tone. She sighed and before Bjorn could respond, she had walked away, causing Bjorn to curse under his breath.

The ships became closer to the walls and Tova looked upwards, noticing the Franks rushing to the walls with crossbows.

Many people began to jump off the boats and into the water. Some of them ended up being unlucky enough to be shot with the crossbow bolts while others reached the wall successfully.

Tova was on the verge of climbing off the boat, only to turn when Ragnar grabbed her by the arm. "Be careful. Don't die stupidly out there. I need you here. I refuse to lose you. Not after losing Athelstan. Do you hear me?" He told her in a stern tone and Tova smiled.

"You will not lose me," She assured him, nodding her head slightly before walking forward.

Tightly gripping onto her weapons, Tova jumped into the water. She began to walk through and move toward the towers Floki built. She winced as she felt it to be harder to walk through the water than expected. Her leg was beginning to hurt more than usual, which was odd for her.

She stopped and looked upwards, trying to figure out the best way to do everything. She sighed and continued to walk forward. She went to climb up onto the main platform of the tower alongside several others, only to slip as her leg throbbed in pain.

She cried out, but before she could slip into the water, Bjorn grabbed her by the waist and pushed her onto the platform. She turned to him and glared, roughly slapping his hands away. "I'm fine," She told him in a stern tone, earning a puzzled look from Bjorn.

As she stood up and her back faced Bjorn, Tova's eyes widened in fear slightly and she placed a hand on her thigh. Something wasn't right. The pain there was more unbearable than ever before.

It wasn't long before Bjorn climbed up as well and when he did, he and Tova made their way over to where one of the towers stood. They stood off to the side, shouting orders to the men climbing up.

"Up! Come on! Get up! Get up!"

Tova sighed and looked upwards, watching as dozens of men fell from the towers after being shot by crossbows one by one. "Come on!" She shouted anyway, having no other choice, "All of you! Go! Up, up!"

Just then, as several other groups of men climbed up and nearly succeeded, Tova turned, her eyes widening in realization. "Cut them out! Grab the ropes!" Tova shouted out, "Now! Climb!"

She smiled, watching as many men reached the top of the walls successfully. However, after doing so, many of them were killed and thrown back down, which caused her to begin to feel uneasy.

"Go on!" Bjorn had shouted as he pushed men toward the tower, "Go on, climb!"

Tova glanced around, feeling uneasy by the piles of bodies around here.

Just then, she looked upwards, her eyes widening in fear at the sight of a large bucket being held over one of the other towers that men were climbing up. "No!" She shouted out, watching as hot oil was poured all over the men.

They screamed out in pain and before they could react, one of the Frankish soldiers shot a lit arrow, which caused the entire tower to erupt into flames, the men with it.

She watched as many of them chose to fall into the water than burn to death, causing her to sigh in defeat. She turned her head and soon locked eyes with Ragnar, the two of them looking disappointed.

Tova took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a long moment. Gradually, she opened them and glanced at Ragnar before turning toward the tower.

Without hesitation, she began to climb, causing Ragnar's eyes to widen in alarm. He ran forward, only to become even more alarmed when Bjorn followed her up as well.

As they climbed, a man close to them was suddenly shot in the shoulder with an arrow. Bjorn quickly grabbed him by the arm, saving him from falling to his death. He grunted, beginning to struggle with holding the man up while holding gripping onto the tower.

Tova sighed as she looked downwards. Refusing to let Bjorn fall to his death as well, she lifted her foot and began to kick the man in the face. She didn't want the man to die, of course, but if she had to choose between the man and Bjorn, she would choose Bjorn without hesitation.

She grunted as she kicked him and soon enough, it wasn't long before he fell straight to the ground. Tova looked down, her eyes widening when she saw Ragnar standing there.

They exchanged a nod with each other and with that, Tova began to climb up, leading to Ragnar beginning to smile at her proudly.

Once reaching the top of the tower, Tova yelled out and slashed at the men with her ax. She jumped onto the walls of Paris, tackling one of the men to the ground. She slashed him across the chest and stood up.

One of the men immediately swung at her and she arched her back to avoid being touched by his blade before she cut him across the neck.

She continued to cut down every man in her way, killing any she could get her hands on. She spun to avoid a man coming toward her from the back before she hacked him in the face.

She yelled out, blood covering her face as she fought in a state that was almost as though she were a berserker. Her ax soon fell from her grasp and as a man swung at her, she crouched down. She picked up a fallen man's sword and with that, she stood back up.

She yelled out and walked forward, slashing at any man in her path as if it were nothing. She smiled slightly, a rush of energy running through her that made her nearly forget entirely about the pain in her leg. She practically lost herself, too caught up in cutting down any Frankish soldier who came into her path.

She smiled and extended her arms out as one of the men ran toward her. She ducked as he swung at her and with that, she slashed him across the chest.

Just then, she turned her head to see Ragnar moving toward her, cutting down numerous Franks as well. They soon found themselves back to back, fighting and killing every Franks that came their way.

Just then, she looked ahead and locked eyes with who she figured to be the leader of Paris. Next to him was a girl who showed no fear in standing witness to so much bloodshed, despite clearly not being a warrior herself.

Tova realized at that moment that if she got her hands on that girl, it could be the key to forcing the Emperor of Paris to give everything up.

She continued to fight past the Franks and just as she had gotten close to the Count and the princess, two Franks had shoved her to the wall and pinned her there.

She turned her head and locked eyes on Paris, her eyes filling with hope. They had been defeated, but it didn't mean it was the end.

Tova yelled out and stabbed one of the men pinning her back. With that, she climbed onto the wall and pushed herself back, off the wall.

She fell downwards but instead of heading straight for the pile of bodies, she hit her back on the tower, causing her to cry out. However, the most pain came when her legs collided with the walls of Paris at full force before her body finally hit the ground.

She gasped, unable to breathe. She coughed and grunted, clutching her gut in pain. She coughed once more, blood spilling from her mouth before her eyes slowly shut.

Nearby, Ragnar landed on the ground. He groaned, hitting the ground in almost the same fashion as Tova. He forced himself up off the ground and began to walk away, only to stop when his eyes locked on Tova.

Ragnar's eyes widened in fear and he rushed over to Tova, cupping her face in his hands. "No, no, no! Tova?" He called out, only to get no answer as her body remained still, "Tova? Tova! Tova, open your eyes. Please. Wake up. Tova!"

Just then, a small groan escaped Tova's lips. Her eyes fluttered a bit before finally opening, causing Ragnar to sigh in utter relief. "Thank the gods. I thought you were..." Ragnar trailed off as he engulfed the girl in a hug, which led to her groaning in pain.

"I'm alright," She assured him as Ragnar pulled away from the hug, "I've been through worse. No need to get emotional."

Ragnar smiled and laughed in relief at her words. He ended up helping her off the ground and Tova groaned as she clutched her stomach. They were on the verge of leaving, only to stop when Tova turned her head and locked eyes on Bjorn.

"Bjorn?" She called out in concern since his back was facing her as he laid still on the ground, "No, no, no. Bjorn!"

Tova cried out in pain as she pushed herself forward, despite being unable to properly walk on her own. She ended up hitting the ground with a thud, causing her to groan. She didn't care, though, and instead took it upon herself to use her arms to crawl over to Bjorn.

She and Ragnar turned Bjorn to the side a bit, finding Bjorn's eyes to be wide open while his body seemed to be still. He had two crossbow bolts embedded in his back.

Tova began to tear up and cry at the sight, fearing he was dead. Did Bjorn jinx it when he said what he did right before the battle?

She cupped Bjorn's face in her hands and pressed her forehead against his. "Please don't be dead," She pleaded in a whisper, beginning to cry, "Please don't be dead. I need you..." She trailed off and leaned her head against his chest to check to see if he was breathing, "I love you."

_____

Alongside many others, Tova and Ragnar helped bring the wounded back to camp. They both assisted each other in dragging Bjorn's body. Tova wasn't much help though, given she was wounded herself. She wasn't going to admit that, though. She wasn't going to admit the pain in her leg was worse than ever before.

Moments later, she knelt in front of Bjorn's body in a tent while Ragnar stood nearby. His eyes were on Tova, however, who kept her eyes fixed on Bjorn.

Ragnar had insisted that she should be checked out as well, but she said she didn't need to be checked out. She refused to leave Bjorn's side. However, deep down, Ragnar knew Tova was wounded. He knew just by the way she kept rubbing her hand against her right thigh and the way she kept adjusting all of her weight to be put on her left side.

The duo watched as the lady tended to Bjorn and the wounds on his back. Just then, Lagertha rushed in, causing Tova to turn. "Is he alive?" She asked worriedly, "They told me the news. Is he dying? Is my son dying?"

"I don't know," The woman tending to Bjorn replied in a soft tone.

Lagertha remained silent for a long moment before looking up at Ragnar. "What happened?"

"He and Tova were proving you don't need titles to be a leader," Ragnar answered as he exchanged a look with Tova.

Just then, Rollo entered, looking just as concerned as Lagertha had. He rushed over to Bjorn, worried for Bjorn's wellbeing. "You should never have let him climb the ladder," Rollo complained, causing even Tova to scoff, "Now he may die."

"Both of you stop treating him like a child," Ragnar argued in a stern tone, "He's a man, so let him be one."

"Today we came so close." Rollo complained as he stood up and walked closer to Ragnar, "Next time, we will not make the same mistakes."

Ragnar sighed in frustration. He groaned in pain, walking out of the tent without another word said.

______

In her tent that night, Tova sat alone, wearing only her pants and a wrap around her breasts. She was staring down at her leg with tears in her eyes, knowing something was wrong.

Hearing someone walk in, Tova felt uneasy, only to sigh and relax when she saw it was just Ragnar. "How are you?" He asked his daughter, a concerned look on his face.

With her back facing him, Tova quickly wiped her tears and began to act as though she was cleaning the blood and dirt from her arms instead of examining her leg as she actually was.

"Alive," Tova replied in a bored tone and Ragnar smiled slightly.

"You did well today. You led and you led well," He complimented her and Tova scoffed in response.

"No, I did not," She argued, looking disappointed in herself.

"What do you mean?" Ragnar asked, frowning as he walked closer to her.

"I am the reason Bjorn is wounded. He followed me up there. He wouldn't have gone up there if it weren't for me," She admitted and Ragnar sighed as he watched her look down at the ground in shame.

"Bjorn will live. There's nothing to worry about," He assured her, only to frown when he saw Tova sigh and remain silent as she uneasily glanced down at her leg, "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me," She complained as she looked up at him and frowned.

"There is," Ragnar argued and walked until he was standing in front of her, "What is wrong with your leg?"

Tova stared up at Ragnar for a long moment, trying to contain herself. Gradually, she looked down, placing a hand on her right thigh. "The pain..." She trailed off and began to tear up, "Ever since we arrived in Paris, it has become worse, more unbearable than ever."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ragnar responded, frowning at her in concern.

"I thought I could live through it," Tova admitted in a soft tone.

"And you think you cannot?" Ragnar asked as he raised a skeptical brow at her.

"No, I can. But I believe it will slow me down and my quickness is what makes me such a good warrior. You've told me that ever since I was a girl. I might be small but I am quicker than those larger than me, which is what gives me an advantage," She explained, looking disappointed in herself, "If I don't have that advantage, what's keeping me alive?"

"Your mind," Ragnar suddenly stated, earning a puzzled look from Tova.

She turned to him and frowned in confusion. "I...I don't understand."

Ragnar sighed and walked closer to Tova. With a determined look on his face, he bent down and placed his hands on her shoulders. "You are smarter than you think, Tova. Your quickness is not your strength. Your wits are. You catch onto things far quicker than those around you. People like Lagertha, Rollo, Bjorn, and Floki. People will think that you are not a threat because of your limp. What they don't know is that it makes you stronger. To endure such pain and still continue on as you do is a strength like no other. Out of all my children, you have the most potential. Bjorn is a skilled fighter but you are something far more. You have wits and you are cunning. You are who I believe is the most important for the future of our people," Ragnar explained and Tova's eyes widened in surprise, "You have many gifts. That anger you bottle up constantly is a gift because you know just the right times to unleash it. Your mind and cleverness is a gift. You do not think like the people around you. You think like me and also like me, you can be unpredictable and I promise you, Tova, it will serve you well. You will amount to even more greatness than I have. You just need to endure. Endurance is strength. Remember that."

Tova stared up at Ragnar and gradually nodded her head. She watched as Ragnar smiled and hugged her, which was what she desperately needed at that moment. The comfort of a parent.

_____

Deciding to visit Bjorn, Tova had traveled to Bjorn's tent, only to sigh in relief when she saw him stirring in his sleep. He groaned and opened his eyes. He turned to her and Tova smiled, immediately making her way over to him.

"You led today," Tova spoke up, smiling softly at the thought.

"I only did what my instincts told me to do," Bjorn admitted and Tova knelt in front of him.

"Well, you made Ragnar proud and he is sure to tell you that. He is proud of you. As am I," She confessed, sighing as she grabbed hold of his hand. She brought it up to her lips and lightly kissed his hand, "I suppose we should talk about what you mentioned on the boat to Paris."

"We should," Bjorn replied and nodded his head in response.

"In the span of a year, I lost my mother and Athelstan, two people that I loved dearly, even if I didn't show it. I did not show it, but Athelstan meant a lot to me. More than you could ever imagine. He is the only reason I survived in England as a child. He taught me their language. And he has always been a constant. I have known him longer than anyone else in my life. He was my first friend. The first person who ever gave a damn about me. And now, that he is gone, it is as though a part of me is gone," She explained, smiling sadly at the thought.

"I understand," Bjorn admitted and Tova began to tear up.

"I just needed space after losing him. I distanced myself from everyone, not just you. And I'm sorry," Tova replied softly and Bjorn weakly lifted his hand to place it on the side of her face.

"It's alright," He assured her, a small smile on his face, "I know this is all complicated, but I love you. And to me, that is all that matters."

"And I love you," Tova confessed, placing her hand over his, "But you must remember that you are married to Porunn and have a daughter with her."

"She doesn't want me anymore. And she doesn't want our daughter," Bjorn replied, a shameful look on his face, "She will leave me. I know it. She will leave my daughter with me as well. And I don't believe I will have what it takes to raise a child on my own."

"I will help you," Tova replied without hesitation, earning a surprised look from Bjorn, "I will help you raise Siggy, I promise."

"Thank you," Bjorn responded softly, continuing to hold her hand, "If you would like to know, there was something I was yearning to say this morning."

"And what was that?" Tova asked as she smiled softly at Bjorn.