— 32. Relentless

When Kalf's ships began to arrive, Tova began to walk over to the men alongside Ragnar. Ragnar carried Ubbe over his shoulders, which Tova found amusing, especially the way he was hung upside down.

Hvitserk was hanging off Tova's back, but that wasn't unusual. He always seemed to be latching onto her in some way.

"Kalf!" Ragnar called out to the Earl of Hedeby with a smile on his face.

"King Ragnar," Kalf responded as he climbed off of his boat.

"Earl Kalf," Ragnar corrected himself as he placed Ubbe down on the ground.

"Greetings," Kalf responded and Tova playfully rolled her eyes as both Ubbe and Hvitserk began to grab onto her at once.

Kalf ended up hugging Ragnar, just before doing the same with Tova. "I join you in the expectation of the greatest raid in the history of our people," He informed them both with a smile on his face.

Just then, Ragnar and Tova turned, awkwardly looking up at the large man who appeared beside Kalf. "Who is this chunk of meat?" Ragnar questioned and Tova smiled in amusement.

"This is Earl Siegfried," Kalf informed him and placed a hand on the man's shoulder.

"Lord Ragnar," Siegfried greeted Ragnar as he bowed to him, "I put my ships and my warriors at your disposal."

Ragnar smiled and patted the man on the shoulder, only to turn to see Tova staring ahead with an expression on her face that was as though she had just seen a ghost.

He turned, his smile fading when he saw what Tova was looking at. Erlendur.

Once Kalf saw the duo staring at something, he turned and smiled slightly. "I'm sure that you remember King Horik's son and the widow of Jarl Borg. They also have expressed a desire to take part in our raid," He explained as the three of them walked over to Torvi and Erlendur.

"Torvi!" Tova spoke up, smiling widely at the sight of the girl.

"Erlendur," Ragnar greeted Erlendur and nodded his head slightly before turning to glance at Torvi, "Torvi." He looked back at Erlendur and smiled widely, leading to Tova facepalming herself, "I have to say that my daughter and I are a little caught off guard seeing you here."

"I figured there was a reason you spared my life. Maybe it's for this," Erlendur responded and Ragnar forced himself to smile, "I have to ask. How is the settlement in Wessex?"

Tova's smile faded but she maintained composure as Ragnar smiled at Erlendur. "Good," He replied and with that, Erlendur walked past them.

"It is good to see you again, Torvi," Tova called out to Torvi, who smiled at her politely before walking past her.

_____

Tova didn't know why she cared, but instead of going straight to the feast Ragnar was holding at the Great Hall, Tova had gone to see Porunn and baby Siggy. She entered the woman's cabin, causing Porunn to immediately turn to her.

"How is she?" Tova asked curiously as she walked closer to Porunn, who was holding Siggy.

"Good, I suppose," Porunn answered softly, earning a puzzled look from Tova.

There was a moment of silence before Porunn sighed and turned to look directly at Tova. She stood up, holding Siggy in her arms as she made her way over to Tova. She avoided eye contact with Tova, looking down at the ground as she held the newborn baby out to Tova. "What are you doing?" Tova asked, a puzzled look on her face.

"Please take her," Porunn insisted, refusing to look Tova in the eyes.

"I don't understand," Tova complained as she turned to face Siggy fully.

"Take my baby," She demanded and Tova frowned in concern as she walked closer to Porunn.

"What are you talking about?" Tova asked, despite having the feeling she knew where the conversation was going.

"I cannot care for," Porunn admitted in a soft tone, earning a loud scoff from Tova.

"Of course you can," Tova argued and shook her head in disbelief.

"I can't," Porunn argued back lowly as she finally brought herself to look Tova in the eyes, "I want her to be like the sons of Ragnar. I want her to be like you. I want her to be strong. I want her to be a warrior. I want her to be Viking."

Tova's eyes widened as she stared at Porunn, shocked by the girl's words. "What does it matter what your daughter becomes in the future?" She snapped at Porunn calmly as she moved toward her, "Whether she's Viking or not is not important. Nor if she is a warrior like me or not. She will still be your daughter no matter what she is. That is all that should matter to you, especially since she is still just a baby. She has her whole life ahead of her. What should matter at this moment is that you love and nurture her. For if you are fortunate, she will grow up healthy and strong and that is all that should matter. And perhaps one day, she will give you grandchildren to be proud of."

Porunn remained silent for a long moment as she stared down at baby Siggy, clearly hesitant to listen to Tova.

"Think of Bjorn," Tova continued in a calm tone and Porunn smiled sadly as she nodded her head.

"I am. This is why I want you to raise his daughter," She confessed, causing Tova's lips to part as she stared at Porunn in shock.

"Bjorn loves you," Tova reminded Porunn, giving her a knowing look.

"He loves you more," Porunn admitted softly and shook her head, "And I cannot raise this child. Nor can I stay here. But you can. You can raise this child. Bjorn will be much happier and better off without me. As will this child."

"That is not true!" Tova complained, staring at the girl in disbelief, "How could you say such things? How could you even think that your daughter is better off without you?!"

"It is what I believe," Porunn argued in a stern tone.

"It is a very selfish and cruel thing to believe," Tova snapped at Porunn, beginning to glare.

"I cannot help it," Porunn replied, beginning to cry.

Tova sighed and moved closer to Porunn. She remained silent for a moment, just before placing her hand on Porunn's shoulder. "Your daughter needs you. She needs her mother. No child is better off without her mother," She explained and Porunn stared down at the ground in shame.

She stared at Porunn briefly and while she had been sympathetic at first, her expression soon became cold. "You should be glad to even be blessed with such a daughter. You must not dare to abandon her. For if you do, you don't deserve to be a mother at all. And you will regret abandoning her," Tova explained in a calm tone, "Pray to Freya. She will comfort you."

"She cannot help me," Porunn argued as she shook her head, "No one can. Look at me!"

Tova tried to keep a straight face as she stared at Porunn but soon enough, she began to laugh. "You're pathetic," She complained, causing Porunn to frown, "So what? You were wounded in battle and your face is fucked up. You're going to let that define your entire life? You should be ashamed of yourself!" She shouted, raising the skirt of her dress slightly to reveal one of her legs to be crooked slightly, "I was wounded the last time we went to Wessex. I was trampled by a horse and nearly died. Two years have passed and still, I walk with a limp and most likely will for the rest of my life. Most days, I suffer agonizing pain in my leg, but I do not let that stop me from living my life. I endure it. As should you. You simply have a scarred face. Get over yourself and live on. Don't let that scar define you. And if you do, you should have never stepped foot on the battlefield in the first place and do not deserve to call yourself a shieldmaiden."

Filled with anger, Tova shot Porunn a glare and with that, she stormed out of the room without another word said.

______

At the feast that evening, Tova moved away from where she sat with Helga and Aslaug and instead made her way over to Lagertha, who was glaring at Kalf from across the room. "You cannot ignore him forever, you know," Tova spoke up, beginning to smile at Lagertha.

"I'm not going to ignore him, Tova. We are going to fight together, even though he took all that was mine," She explained, smiling at Tova, "All that was ours and Bjorn's."

"Perhaps it was fated," Tova replied and Lagertha playfully rolled her eyes, knowing Tova believed what Ragnar did. That while some matters were fated, other matters occurred solely by free will.

"And perhaps it is fated that I win it back someday," Lagertha responded and Tova smiled at the woman.

"I'm sure of it," She replied, watching Lagertha made her way over to Kalf.

She smiled and shook her head at Lagertha. She turned, only to have her smile fade at the sight of Bjorn walking toward her. She cursed under her breath and immediately began to walk toward the door to leave, clearly wanting to avoid speaking to him.

"Don't hide away," Bjorn replied, chuckling as he wrapped his arms around her from the back and pulled her closer to him.

"Why not?" She asked, turning to smile at him. She placed her hands over his as they were wrapped around her face, "We are in public and you have a wife."

"What does it matter? People expect it of us anyway. They have ever since we were children," Bjorn replied, leaning down as he began to kiss the crook of her neck, "And you look very beautiful tonight."

"You're drunk," Tova replied, giving Bjorn a scolding look as he lightly bit her earlobe.

Bjorn sighed and pressed his front side firmly against her backside. "What does it matter?" He asked her in a low seductive tone. He began to kiss her jaw and neck, his hands lightly squeezing her breasts through her dress, "It doesn't change that I want you."

"I know and I'm sorry," Tova replied, sighing as she grabbed his hands and removed them from her breasts, "I suppose it's been a long time since you've been with a woman, but I have matters to deal with."

"And what matters would that be?" Bjorn asked, beginning to smile in amusement.

"I must speak to someone. Her name is Torvi. She is the widow of Jarl Borg," She informed Bjorn, smirking as she turned to face him, "Perhaps I will see you later."

Teasingly, Tova began to lean forward, and just as Bjorn thought she was going to kiss him, she walked away without another word said.

Just as Tova was on the verge of walking over to Torvi, she frowned when the entire hall fell silent. She turned in concern, realizing it had occurred because Athelstan had entered. She quickly made her way over to where Ragnar stood, a concerned look on her face. "What is happening?"

"I don't know," Ragnar replied softly and they both turned, watching as many men roughly shoved Athelstan and spat on the ground in front of him.

Just then, he made it to Rollo, who began to glare at him as he stood up. "I have nothing to say to you, priest, except this..." He trailed off and grabbed hold of Athelstan's arm. He pulled Athelstan's sleeve down, revealing that he wasn't wearing his arm ring, "Where is your arm ring?"

Tova and Ragnar exchanged a glance with each other and without hesitation, they made their way over to Athelstan and Rollo, who was shouting at the priest.

While Ragnar stood on one side of Athelstan, Tova stood up at the other, glaring up at Rollo.

With that, Ragnar wrapped an arm around Athelstan before he and Tova began to lead him away. "I have someone very special I want you both to meet."

It wasn't long before they entered a room where the wanderer Ragnar spoke of laid sprawled out on a bed. "Meet Sinric," He told them with a smile on his face, "The wanderer I told you both about. It was he who guided me to England."

Tova turned to the man, smiling as she listened to him begin to speak a foreign language she assumed was the language the Franks spoke.

"You speak the language of the Franks," Athelstan commented, a large smile on his face and Sinric shrugged.

"Not only that, but he also knows how to find the mouth of the Seine," Ragnar revealed, causing Tova's eyes to widen in surprise as she began to smile.

_____

Once leaving the room where she had spoken to Sinric alongside Ragnar and Athelstan about Franki, Tova had grabbed two cups of mead before she made her way over to Torvi. She smiled at the girl, jokingly clinking the cups together.

"Would you like some?" She asked and Torvi innocently stared up at her.

"Yes," Torvi replied softly and Tova smiled as she handed her one, "Thank you."

"It has been a while since I last saw you. I'm sorry about your husband. I remember him quite well. No one could forget him," Tova explained, giving the girl a sympathetic look, "He was my father's enemy but he was a great man. And now, he is in Valhalla."

"Yes, I know," Torvi answered quietly as she nodded her head at Tova, "I know he is with the gods."

"And your new husband, Erlendur?" Tova asked her curiously.

"What of him?" Torvi replied almost defensively.

"Is he kind to you?" Tova questioned and Torvi shrugged, causing Tova to sigh in defeat. She shook her head slightly and decided to change the subject, knowing by the look on Torvi's face that she didn't want to talk about it, "He will come to Paris?"

"And so shall I," She responded, a confident look on her face, "I refuse to be left behind."

"You must be brave, then. And courageous to do such a thing without being a warrior yourself," Tova explained and Torvi stared up at her with a serious look on her face.

"I am Viking," She corrected Tova, who began to smile.

"Perhaps the day will come where I shall teach you how to be a shieldmaiden," Tova suggested and Torvi smiled at the thought.

"I'd like that," She admitted, causing them both to smile.

_____

It was around dawn when Tova walked onto the beach, where she found Bjorn sitting on the side. She smiled and made her way over to Bjorn. "Bjorn," She called out and Bjorn turned to her, looking happy to see her.

"You have come," He stated and Tova nodded in response.

"Indeed," Tova replied as she moved closer to him, "I hope I have not disturbed you."

"You are not disturbing me. You never are. I find myself enjoying your company above all others," He explained and there was a moment of silence between them. Slowly, Bjorn turned to her, a serious look on his face. "I love my wife."

Hearing Bjorn's words, Tova couldn't help but smile slightly. "Forgive me, but as you say that, it seems as though you are not trying to convince me of that, but yourself."

"Perhaps you're right," Bjorn admitted softly and Tova smirked in amusement.

"I know I'm right," She corrected him and Bjorn playfully rolled his eyes at her.

"Do you always have to be like that?" He asked her in a frustrated tone.

"Be like what?" She asked, a puzzled look on her face.

"So cocky and arrogant. You have the need to be right and most of the time, you are right," He explained, leading to them both beginning to smile.

"I will take that as a compliment," Tova replied, playfully nudging Bjorn.

Bjorn sighed and turned to her, his smile fading. He gently placed a hand on the side of her face, staring at her intently. "I hate myself for it, but I do. I love you, Tova. I believe I always have, ever since I was a boy," He confessed in a whisper and Bjorn nodded his head.

"I believe I feel the same. It just took me many years to come to terms with it," Tova admitted as she smiled up at Bjorn.

"I hate myself for doing this to Porunn, but she..." He trailed off, looking downward as he sighed, "She has been pushing me away ever since what happened in Wessex. And in any case, deep down, I know I only involved myself with her because I couldn't have what I truly wanted. You."

"Well, now, it seems you can have me," Tova encouraged him and Bjorn nodded his head at her.

"Indeed."

"Then have me," Tova encouraged him, smiling as she moved closer to him, "What are you waiting for?"

Bjorn smiled at Tova as he held her face in his hands and leaned closer to her. "Since when did you become so impatient?" He asked, leaning his forehead against hers.

"I am a needy woman," Tova replied softly, desperate to have his lips on hers as they brushed against each other.

"Needy, huh?" Bjorn asked and Tova nodded as she hummed in response.

Unable to take it anymore, Bjorn leaned forward and roughly attached his lips against hers. Tova gasped, running her hands down his chest as Bjorn to pull down her dress. They continued to strip each other of their clothes, not daring to break the kiss.

Once Tova had been rid of her dress, Bjorn lightly pushed Tova flat down on the sand. She smiled up at him and Bjorn thrust into her, causing Tova to moan as she arched her back in pleasure. He began to kiss down her body, the two of them not caring that they were on a beach where anyone could see them.

_____

After what occurred with Bjorn, the duo had remained in each other's arms for a bit longer before Bjorn had to leave. Tova had dressed herself before traveling to Athelstan's home, wishing to see him.

She opened the door to his hope, a large smile on her face. "Athelstan, you are not going to believe what just happens. I have a feeling you'll be relieved to know that it has finally occurred," She called out, only to have her smile fade as she looked down to see Athelstan's lifeless body lying on the ground.

"No!" Tova shouted out, tears beginning to fill her eyes as she rushed over to him. She shook her head frantically as she fell into a kneel before him, "No, no, no. Please, Athelstan. Please," She pleaded, cupping his face into her hands, "Please, wake up. Wake up. I beg of you. Please, wake up."

Tova cried out, tears rushing down her cheeks as she realized Athelstan was beyond saving. She let out a heartbroken scream, pressing her face against his lifeless chest.

First her mother and now Athelstan? Who was next?