Mistakes. Everyone makes them, but what happens if you make so many of them. What happens now? Who will stay be your side now? I feel a string pulling away from me ever so slightly. I really am just a mistake, used by both the gods and my father. A pawn in a game that can never be won. I was never in charge of my life. all the decisions that I made, were really someone else's. I'm sorry for disappointing everyone. Lagertha, Bjorn, Geir, Ashletoe, and Halfdan. I have let too many people die and most of their deaths were all my fault. Erlendur, I could have saved you. My family and country, I have failed you. So I ask again, what happens now? Odin I have waited too long, please kill me now.

I wait in my cabin. Slaves wiping my body trying to get all the blood off. I couldn't move. My whole life just came crashing down on me. They grab me a dress. It is beautiful. A long blue dress, made out of the best fabric, with tight sleeves, and a black leaf pattern all over it. They also place black armor over my chest. shoulders, and my wrist. I'm guessing its time to interrogate the man, who rebelled against Lagertha. They brush my hair and leave it down, with two French braids going down it to at least get some of the hair out of my face. Right when they finish, Lagertha walks in.

"It's time Alca." I nod my head. I can't speak. My throat hurts too much to even breathe. She grabs my arm and entwines it with mine, as she leads us out of the cabin down to the grand hall. There people are standing around, whispering about Egil, while he is tied to a pole over a fire pit, and guards watching him and everyone around.

As we walk in, everyone stops talking and looks in our direction. No amount of eyeshadow could hide my tired and emotionless face. I was suppose to look fierce, but instead I looked like emotionless child. Lagertha walked away and turned to Egil. She was interrogating him and every once in a while would look over at me. I on the other hand was looking at his wife. She was pregnant. I guess i was starring for too long because her head turned towards me, making direct eye contact. My eyebrows soften and she bowed her head towards me. I bowed back and turned towards Lagertha. I wish I had left, that I had just stayed in the cabin.

It started to smell like burning fresh, making me want to throw up. Egil wife started to beg for him to tell them who gave him the army so they both could be set free. I wish I was never there. maybe if I stayed with Ashletoe. I would have been happy there with Geir.

"I was paid by King Harald Finehair and his brother Halfdan."

Again another mistake I have made. I shouldn't have been there. Lagertha turned towards me, wondering if I knew, but I could tell by the expression i was giving off, she knew i didn't. She burned Egil in that moment. I couldn't stop staring at his burning body. Lagertha put her hand on my shoulder, her body facing towards the door.

"Did you know Alca?" "When I was out there, one of his men said the were ordered to kill me. Halfdan ordered to murder me." Tears fell down my face, smearing black eyeshadow all over my face. I guess it was just a one way streak. He never loved me. I gave up everything for him and in the end he just wanted to slay a serpent.

Just a pawn in a never ending game. I need to see the seer. I knocked Lagertha hand off my shoulder and walk away, through the cabins into his. knocking the bones away. He sits there starring at me, with his eyeless face.

"Alca it's a surprise for you to be here. Ask what you need to know." "Seer, i need to know what happens next. Who shall my life be given too?" He coughs a little, but starts to laugh.

"That is not the question you want to be answered." "ANSWER IT!" I yelled at him. i was just so angry at this moment.

"There will be a war. A war between brothers. A war where the sons of Ragnar will kill one another. your role in this war is crucial. For what ever side you chose will win the war." "What do you mean side. Whom am I choosing between?" He coughs again.

"Ask what you really want to know Alca. It will be your last chance." I tried to slow down my breathing. "Did Halfdan ever love me."

"Child of oden, his love for you is stronger than any the gods could give you." I took his hand and licked it and stepped outside of his tent. He did love me, then why did he try to kill me? My pawn piece has been moved on the board, but to what side am i closest to? Who is moving my piece, or was it me all along.

Halfdan

"Geir wake up now! Geir." His breathing has slowed down, but the blood had stopped coming up. "Halfdan what has happen?" I see Harald running towards me. "GO! Go get Bjorn NOW!" Harald got up and ran away. I promised Alca I would protect him. I have let her down. His breathing has stopped completely. I laid him completely down on the ground. I am on my knees above him and I slam my hands down on his chest.

"Come on Geir." I slam my hands down again. "Wake up!" I slam them down again, but nothing happens. "Halfdan!" I turn my head to see Bjorn.

"Halfdan, what happened?" I keep slamming my hands down my he isn't breathing. "He stopped breathing, I can't wake him up." My breathing becomes heavy.

"Halfdan stop." Did he just say stop. I can't. If he dies everything is over. He was like my own son. I will have broken my promise to Alca if he is dead. So, I keep slamming. Bjorn and my brother grab me by the arms and pull me back.

"I CAN'T STOP!" i struggle against them, dirt flying everywhere. The other sons of Ragnar have joined by and are watching me. Bjorn stands in front of me now, "He is gone Halfdan." I stop struggling. He can't be gone. I look at Harald, with a sad expression on his face, as if he knows what I am felling and maybe something more. I think look towards Geir. His blonde hair covering his eyes. Blood all around his body. " I promised Alca i would protect him and now he is gone. He will not go to Valhalla. He is just gone." I sat there placing my hands on my knees.

Ivar was next to Geir. He did not look excited to see him there, dead. Ubbe groaned and ran his hands over his face. Hvitserk placed his hand on Geir's shoulder, with his lowered. No one really cared about his death, all they cared was the reaction it will have on Alca. "What happened here?", Ivar asked. I looked over to him. He was asking me, making direct eye contact.

"What does it look like. He is dead Ivar. Fell over coughing up blood." Ivar didn't ask anymore, but just looked down to Geir. Bjorn did not take this well. He went over to a tree, next to him, and punched it so hard his fist started bleeding. "He shouldn't have come here. This was all Alca had. And you killed him Halfdan."

Bjorn walked over to Geir and where all his brothers are. He took his necklace from around his neck, that had Thor's Hammer on it. He grabbed Geir's hand and placed it in his palm. "May Odin guide you in his journey."

He lets go of his hand "We need to have a proper burial for him." Bjorn stands up, as well as his brothers, and many walk away. The gods must have been with everyone that day because in that moment a miracle, a sign there were really there happened.

Geir gasped for air. I tried going to him, but my feet kept slipping on the dirt. I somehow made it over there and picked him up in my arms. He was still trying to breathe. The sons of Ragnar all turn around. No sound was made, except the sounds by Geir. Ivar crawls closer to him and looks at me and then to Geir.

"How is this possible, he had no pulse, he was dead", Asked Ivar. Geir is finally able to breathe. I move his hair away from his eyes. They have changed. They look dark and evil, just like Alca's when I first meet her. He pushes me away from him to stand up. Bjorn walks closer to him.

"Here Bjorn I don't think i need this anymore." He handed back the necklace and just started smiling. How could he be smiling at this moment, he was just dead and walking around like nothing happened. He turned around to me. I was still on the ground in utter shock. "Oh Come on Halfdan, I have the blood of serpent in me, blood of the gods, do you really think I could die that easily." It was more of a statement than a question. Ubbe steps forward, "How are you alive Geir?"

Geir started patting the dirt off himself, "Alca broke her vow trying to protect herself against the men sent to kill her. She broke her promise to me and to the gods, so now she must pay." Hvitserk stands in front of Ubbe now, "What does that mean?" Geir goes and picks a spear up from the ground. He inspects it, and throws it up a little in the air and catches it in his hands.

The smirk never leaving his face, "It means, the gods want her dead now, They don't want a servant who does not serve them." I finally stand up now, with the support of Harald. I am emotionally weak, but I really need to seem strong. "You don't mean what i think you mean Geir", asked Bjorn

"Who else can kill her, but her own flesh and blood." He turns around to Harald and I. "Oh don't be surprised you two, for it was fault this all happened." He walks away and towards his tent. Bjorn comes up to me, "what does he mean it's your fault?" I shake my head, truly not knowing. " I don't know what he is talking about." He stares at us before walking towards Geir. Everyone has left and gone back to what they were doing. Harald and I walk back to his tent, probably knowing I have to ask him a question.

"What did you do Harald." "Brother I would never hurt your queen. She is nothing like my princess." I knew he was lying, but i wanted to believe so hard he wasn't "Did you send Egil's men to kill Alca?" his face became stern. "I would never hurt the woman you love brother. She is too important to be killed. Egil must not have known who she was, I mean she has changed a lot due to the lack of food consumed , she could have changed more. Now I will be preparing for tomorrows battle. come when you are ready."

Harald walks away. I know he is lying, but i have to believe him. At least Geir is alive. If Egil isn't dead now by Lagertha, i will kill him. I need to get ready for tomorrow.

As i said everyone makes mistakes. Mine changed to much, for better or for worse, I can't say, but now I bigger threat is coming my way. I threat I created myself, made out of my own flesh and blood. Kill me if you must my son, but know I didn't mean to betray you, it was a mistake. So if i must be killed, I'm glad the gods have chosen you to do it.

"Alca are you coming to dinner?" I stop writing my letter to Geir. " I will be there soon Astrid." I have to leave Kattegat. I place my letter where at least Lagertha can find it. I walk to my small one man boat and put my bags on it. "So you are leaving Alca?" I turn to see Astrid. "Well you knew i wasn't going to go to dinner."

I jump in the boat. "where are you to go Alca." I push the boat into the sea. " I place where darkness and evil was created. I'm going to the kill the king of Norway in his home place."

"Good luck Alca, the gods are not with you any more."

So my son, when the time comes i will be ready. Kill me if you must, but just know, you are the greatest love in my life, may you not have the same fate as me.