"What's wrong?" All it takes in one look for her to know somethings up.

And I guess I don't know exactly what's up with me but it has to do with Co.

Five days.

That's all I had left.

Five days, and I'm gone.

And I can't help but think about what will be left of Co and I.

"I don't know, I just feel like things have been off between co and I," I tell my best friend as she plops beside me on the couch. "I'm probably just overthinking but honestly, I'm scared to leave him,"

"Why?" Em questions "You guys are going to be okay,"

"But what if we aren't? We're going to be miles apart, and busy as hell," I reason. I don't think I was being unreasonable for having these thoughs, am I?

"Have you talked to him about any of that?"

"No," I mumble. I was a freaked to talk to him about all of this. What if he felt the same way? What do we do from there?"

"B you have to talk to him," Em days "I know you're scared but it's better to talk about these things,"

"So much shit is changing Em," I huff

"I hate it," she nods along with me. I did too. This has been the hardest month of my life, and it feels like things have only gotten worse and worse.

"Things will be okay," I say, I don't even believe myself though.

"I hope so," she nods "you guys will be okay, no matter what,"

I just release a deep breath. The house was quiet today, it was only me and the dog, and now em.

"How're you and my brother?" I question trying to get my mind off of co.

"We're good," she smiles softly. I wonder if that's how I looked when thinking about Co. like I was completely and utterly in love. "I mean, as good as we can be I guess, we're just helping eachothr I guess,"

"You guys are so cute it's sickening," I snort. Jordan used to say the same thing about Co and I.

"I guess we are," she shrugs a smirk on her face "I really really like him B,"

"Hmm even go so far as to say you looovveee him?" I grin

"I have not used the L-word yet," she rolls her eyes but I know she's thinking it

"Just accept in Em, you're in Love with my brother. Hell I know he's in love with you," I nod. Thinking of them and Co, it makes me somewhat happy. I'm able for just a few seconds the thing about something other than jordan and my own guilt.

"Shut up," she covers her face as she laughs and I smile. I'm happy for them

"Okay," I grin "what are we doing today?"

"I don't really have the energy to do anything besides sleep," that's basically been me the past month.

"Movies?" I question

"Yes,"

————————————

Em left hours ago, leaving me with my own thoughts. That's never a good idea, especially as of late.

I was stuck on our conversation earlier. I was nervous about leaving. More specifically leaving Co.

God I sound like such a typical stupid teenage girl. I'm leaving, taking this great opportunity for my future and career for fucks sake and I'm worried about my boyfriend. It's hard not to worry about my relationship though when he's so much more than just my boyfriend.

I don't want to break up but I know we're going to have to change some things.

I love him. More than he or anyone will ever know, but I also value my future and if I stay here any longer, I don't think I'll ever be able to leave. I know myself, and I know if I don't leave now, I won't want to when I have to, and there's no way I'm giving up this opportunity at fucking Stanford. I have to go now.

This is for my future and my life, I can't be worrying about my relationship.

But I do.

I'm scared to be without him, I'm scared of hurting him. And as I read the text that flashed across my screen I know he is too.

We've been different. I can feel it. We're now distant, and I know we've had a lot going on but even-even right after Jordan, we weren't this distant.

I know he said he wasn't mad or struggling with the he fact of me being so far, but I know he is, because I am too. I'm struggling a lot with it.

A simple 'can we talk' is all it takes for me to already know what he's thinking.

He's having second thoughts too.

I'm going to California, he's going to Florida. I'm going to be busy with classes, he's going to be busy with not only his classes but football too. These next two months were going to be the last few months of whatever kind of peace we could latch onto, but now we're giving that up. I'm giving that up.

While looking for my sweatpants, I hear my balcony door open and he's standing there casually watching me, walk around my room in just my underwear like he has countless times already.

"I was gonna come over," I tell him. He looks tense

"It's fine, I just came up," he shakes his head He goes to talk again, but I cut him off.

I should just spit it out.

"I'm having seconds thoughts," I do. I got it out and he just sits there, less surprised than I thought he'd be.

"Bails it's okay to not want to move, I mean, if your aren't ready that's fine I don't think your parents would be mad at you for that," he states and I just shake my head. He mistook what I'm saying.

"No co, it's not that. I am moving. I need to move. What I'm having seconds thoughts on is-is," I struggle to get that one final word out. If I say it I feel like I'm doing something I don't know I should.

"Us?" He finished for me and I feel my whole body sag as a look of sadness crosses his face.

"I'm sorry Co-I just, I don't know," I shake my head

"I understand," he nods

"We're going to be miles and miles apart, and busy as hell," I tell him. He knows what I'm hinting at.

"You don't think we'll be able to stay together," he says

"Not necessarily that exactly, I'm just nervous" I nod "Arent you?"

"I don't know," he shakes his head, defeated "I don't fucking know anymore and it's pissing me off."

"I don't either," I go quiet.

"Bailey I love you, a lot, but since you told me you're moving, in all honesty I don't know what to think,"

"So what?" I question "You can't tell em you haven't been thinking the same thing,"

"Of course I have," he states "On top of the fact that we're going to be hundreds of miles apart, we're both going to be busy as fuck, and we have to focus on what's important,"

"Both are important," my future and my relationship.

"I know they are," he nods "But-fuck I don't know Bailey. Football is my life and so are you but I need to do this Bailey, I can't loose focus. I have to do this if not for myself for Jordan."

I know what he's saying. It's the same reason I've done a 180 in what I'm planning on going into. I've told him already. I want to go into medicine, work in the ER, help people like Jordan.

Just like he's working for Jordan, I am too.

I understand what he's saying, I just don't want to accept it. He's right. Trying to maintain our relationship while also trying to stay on track with our careers is going to be damn near impossible.

"What do you want to do," I question

"What do you think is best?" He answers my question with a question. He just didn't want to say it.

"Do we break up?"

No. I don't want to.

"I love you Bailey," he doesn't directly answer my question but I know that's a yes.

I hated the fact that he was right.

"I love you too Co," I nod as tears fill my eyes

"So what do we do now," he questions.

"I don't know," I shrug wiping my watery eyes before I could cry.

"How about this," he says pulling me in front of him as he sat on my bed. I was standing in between his legs as he looked up at me "We stay together until you have to leave, and then we just take a break for a little while,"

I didn't want to and I know he didn't either, but he needed this, as much as I wanted to disagree with him, I couldn't. With as much as I don't want this to end, I know it's best for him, and I think me too.

"If it's meant to be we'll come back to eachother," I finish for him. We'd both talked about this before. Before our worlds went to hell. We knew, if we were meant to be, we'd come back to each other, no matter what.

"Exactly," he musters up a smile as his fingers drew circles on my hips "We'll be okay,"

"I hope so," I nod. He was practically my everything, I wanted a future with him, but I knew what I had to do. I knew he needed to focus on his career. I needed to focus on school.

"You're still my princess," I fight off a smile as he says this,

"Always will be," I nod. No matter how far apart, no matter how long, he will always be the love of my life. I have never in my life felt this way towards anyone.

"Never in my life have I felt so absolutely obsessed with one person," he says "I don't think I'll ever love anyone as much as I love you,"

"Me too," I nod. And that's how I know we'll be okay.