I started running to the wreckage trying to see if my brother and best friend were there. Praying I was mistaken, but knowing deep down this was them.

As I reach the car, the door is being slowly pushed open, and I watch as Jordan tries to step out.

"Jordan!" I scream as I get there just in time to catch him before he hits the ground. He had blood all over.

I was scrambling for a way to stop it.

"Jordan, Jordan open your eyes," I state, trying to get him to open his eyes. He still had a pulse but he was bleeding a lot.

"Caleb!" I scream I couldn't move, I was supporting Jordan's body. He was already running, his phone to his ear.

"Holy shit," he yells running a hand through his hair looking at Jordan before running over to the passenger side of the car for Beck.

"Co I need your jacket," I needed something to stop the bleeding, there was a lot. My legs were covered and it just would stop.

"C'mon Jordan," I start to cry looking down at him. I feel for a pulse again and it was still there "Please Jordan, it'll be okay, you're okay," I start wrapping the jacket Co had thrown me around his abdomen. Just as I do so his eyes open slightly.

Good sign. Eyes open, that good, right? It has to be.

"Bailey?"

"I'm here Jordy, I'm here," I wipe my eyes "I got you, you're okay,"

"I'm tired," his eyes were opening and closing so slow, at any second he could go unconscious again.

"It's okay, the ambulance is on its way just stay awake," I scramble "Please stay awake Jordy,"

"This kinda hurts B," his voice is quiet as he manages a slight grin.

"Just hang in there," I wipe my eyes that were now clouded by tears and I try my best to smile for

"How's Beck?"

"He's okay," I lie. I didn't know how my brother is. I didn't want Jordan to move anymore than he has, I've stayed as still as possible.

"Good," he nods, his voice beyond weak "Just smile, I'll be okay, you're smile always makes things better anyway, don't stop,"

"Okay Jordan," I didn't know if I could right now.

"Okay," he nods his eyes slowly closing "I love you Bails,"

"Jordan! Jordan wake up!" I yell again. My hand instantly goes to take his pulse "Caleb!" I can't help but scream. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't stop the bleeding, I couldn't keep him awake and the fucking ambulances weren't coming fast enough.

Co runs over to me, as I hold Jordan and cry and I watch the tears fill his eyes as he comes to help me.

Just as he goes to check for a pulse, the loud siren grows louder as the colored lights surround us. Seconds later, we're surrounded by paramedics.

"What happened?" one questions as they get my brother out of the car and into the stretcher doing the same for Jordan and the other driver.

The other driver didn't even look like he was breathing.

"We-I-I have no-no idea," I tell her as tears streamed down my face, "We were driving home from a party and came up on the two cars and when I got out I-I, saw it was my brother and my best friend and-and I, I caught him and I tried to keep him awake, are they going to be okay?"

"We're going to do everything we can," she says "but they need to get to the hospital now." And with that she's hurrying into the he back of one of the ambulances leaving us with the many police cars.

"Co," I turn to look at him now sobbing. There was so much blood. I was wearing it now.

I couldn't keep him awake.

"Shh it's okay baby," he says pulling me to him "they'll be okay,"

I don't know if even he believed what he was saying, because he didn't say a word driving to the hospital.

Neither did I though. I knew he was just trying to keep himself together enough to drive. I wasn't even trying.

I never hated hospitals. They never bothered me.

But right now, I want be anywhere but here, at the same time, I knew I wasn't going anywhere until I got to see them.

We just got here, following close behind. The ambulance, everyone else was on their way.

The only thing we'd learned so far was that it was a drunk driver and they had died in the ambulance. Their blood alcohol level has been more than double the legal limit.

Haven't gotten a word on my brother or Jordan.

"Bailey! Caleb!" His mom comes running over to us before pulling us both in for a hug. That's all we could do right now.

Co and I had both been crying the whole ride to the hospital and I feel myself start to now break down all over again.

"Are you guys okay? What happened?" She questions urgently, inspecting us to see if we'd been hurt.

"I don't know," I break down right there in her arms. I'm the one that told Jordan to drive Beck home, I'm the reason why Beck was going to leave.

"Do you know how they are?" Co managed to pull himself together

"They won't let me in, I can't treat family," she says her eyes watering "C'mon," she starts leading us back into a private waiting room.

Where we sit.

And we wait.

———————————

Everyone was here.

My whole family, Kazers whole family, Jordan's, Em's, Tyler's, Wes's, and Lexi and Amy.

It's been over three hours and all we've got is both were rushed into surgery and are in critical condition.

Critical condition. They could die, and I'd be the reason for it. I'm the one that pissed Beck of and I'm the one that asked Jordan to drive him home.

I haven't said a word since we got here. None of us have really. We just sat here in silence, the only ounce of comfort offered was each other's presence, that was barely anything right now though.

They could die.

How can I fucking live without either one of them let alone both?

I know I'm crying. I didn't think it was possible anymore, considering it's all I've been able to do for the past three and a half hours.

I felt practically numb. There was absolutely nothing I can do, and it was killing me.

I couldn't go in there are be with them. I couldn't apologize, I couldn't do anything but sit here and wait.

I fucking hate waiting.

I want to be back at the party, I want to be with my friends I want everyone to be laughing, and I just wish that this never happened.

This wasn't supposed to happen. None of this was.

"Bailey," my dad comes to my side, snapping out of my daze, he quietly hands me a change of clothes. I'd completely forgotten I was still covered in Jordan's blood.

I was wearing my best friends blood.

"Bailey," Co coaxes me out of my head again. I'd just been sitting there staring at the clothes that were now set in my lap

I'm silent getting up, dragging myself to the bathroom.

I didn't even notice the package of baby wipes my dad had given me.

For the first time tonight I see just how much of a mess I really am.

My bright blue dress was now a muddy reddish purple. I didn't even realize the crimson smears on my face. Under my eyes. Down my cheeks mixed with trails of tears.

Fuck, I looked like I killed someone.

I walk back out fifteen minutes later. Still a mess just in different clothes to see my dad taking to the other parents.

I knew the were talking about us, their body language gave them all away.

"You guys should go home," Jordan's dad says "It's almost eight am you guys have been up long and need sleep,"

"No," Ace states "I-I'm not leaving,"

"None of us are," Em adds

"Emma," her mom states "You guys all need sleep, this isn't good for you guys,"

"I don't mean any disrespect, but right now I dont think they give two fucks about what's good for them," Austin states as Kay shoots him a glare

"Austin Matthew!" She snaps

"Mom he's right," Caleb talks for the first time tonight. That was something we'd had in common, we shut down.

"Caleb,"

"If you want me out, you're gonna have to call security because I'm not moving," he deadpans.

"Bailey, Arrex, Ace, Colton go" my sad states

"Really?" I look right at him

Arrex just scoffs, Ace and Colton don't acknowledge him at all.

"Yes,"

"No." I look him dead in the eye "My two best friends are currently in critical fucking condition, opened up on a damn table and you want me to go home?" I snap

"Bailey Ryanne-"

"No dad, I don't give a shit, I just held my best friend and wore his fucking blood, I'm not leaving until I get to see them. You can sit there and glare at me all you want but I'm not leaving," I've never talked to my dad like that. Never in my life, but he can't possibly tho k I'm going to leave right now.

He goes to yell at me. I know it was coming, the only thing stopping him being the sound of the waiting room door opening.

I'd said I wanted be here, but now, getting one look at that doctors face, it takes everything in me to not throw up.

I knew what he was going to say before he even says it.

And I feel my own legs give out below me.