*another good song that goes with the St.Paddy's theme -> Another Irish drinking song by Da Vinci's Notebook; also highly recommend playing this song while reading ^^

"IT'S SAINT PADDY'S DAY BITCHES!!" For once it's me waking my brothers up. St.Patricks day had quickly become one of my favorite holidays especially after living in Chicago.

Chicago loved St.Paddy's day. They dyed the river green and every neighborhood had some parade going on. Everyone was Irish on St.Patricks day, and no one questioned you. It doesn't happen often but it was really a time of togetherness in the city, something I'd always loved.

"Jesus it's like 7 a.m." Arrex groans

"Yes it is big brother" I grin, placing a sparkly green hat on his head

"Why?"

"Cause it's St.Patricks day and we're going to the parade" we went to the parade every year.

"Yeah...in like three hours"

"You're such a party pooper" I pout before throwing a pillow at him, "Get up!" I run out of his room, right into Becks, basically doing the same thing with each brother until all of them are up.

"I'm really regretting getting this extension" Ryan mumbles to Lance as I wake them. They were originally supposed to leave late January, but their commanding officer said that due to the completion of their last assignment. They were allotted another month and a half, they now deploy back the Wednesday before I leave for Chicago.

"Shut up, you love me" I scoff before skipping out of their room.

One of my favorite days of the year has begun.

Within hours, all of us were up and moving. Eventually everyone had come over. They boys all dressed in their St.Patrick's day shirts and face paint while Em, Amy and I wore much more obnoxious outfits, with face paint, tutu's insane headbands and jewelry

"You're seriously going out in public like that" Arrex questions Em as she enters the kitchen

"Fuck off Arrex" She smirks "I'm having fun, you're boring" She states before placing a headband, matching her own on his head

"Yeah whatever" he rolls his eyes at her but leaves the headband. He looks ridiculous.

"You guys ready to go?" Cheri grins, entering the kitchen in an outfit very similar to mine and Em's.

"Yes!" Em and I hop up, Caleb, Jordan and Arrex just look at each other and shake their heads

"Let's go then" Dad grins as we all get up to leave, I stay behind, with Co though

"They all out?" He questions, I just lazily look back at the door with a grin, nodding

He leans down to kiss me before bursting into a fit of laughter.

"I'm sorry I can't take you seriously" he starts to laugh "Do you seriously have a green smiley face on your boobs?" He questions looking directly at my chest. I was wearing a green tank top along with a mint green bralette , Em had gotten me; and for some reason while Em and as I were putting our face paint on, Em decided, to paint a little smiley face right on my chest.

"Em did it" I roll my eyes with a grin

"Kinda hot" he smirks "In a stupid weirdo kinda way"

"You're so annoying" I laugh "You know that?"

"Oh yeah, I annoy the shit outta you" he smirks "Always have Princess"

"That's true Kazer" I laugh before hopping up on my tippy toes to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

"That smiley face is very distracting" He grins, glancing back up at my face

"Hey" I snap in his face "Eyes are up here Kazer"

"Oh I know they're there" he grins, looking me in the eyes "I could never forget about those beautiful brown eyes of yours...however there are more important matters to observe"

"You are such a guy sometimes" I roll my eyes at him

"I'd hope so" he smirks, I go to say more but he cuts me off, crashing his lips to mine. We fight for dominance for a second, but eventually I let him win. It doesn't take long for him to lift me up, holding me right under my ass so I am now eye level with him.

"Hey! Dumb and dumbass!" All of a sudden Arrex's approaching voice is heard, I'm dropped to my feet as Co takes a step or two back, I run into the bathroom down the little hall from the living room before Arrex can see me

"Where Belle?" I hear A question, just as he says this I flush the toiled, wash my hand quickly and step out of the bathroom

"She had to pee, I was just waiting for her" Co says as I join them

"You take forever, let's go" A grunts at me before walking out.

"We're telling them" Co states "today" he adds once more before walking out, leaving me in the kitchen, alone.

--------

"Oh look at this one!" Em laughs, giving me her phone. She'd taken about three thousand pictures while we were at the parade. I was still looking for one good one.

"Oh my god" I can't help laugh along with her, the picture was of her Amy and I along with this really tall guy dressed as a leprechaun. I mean, this guy has to be like 6'10 or something. So we all obviously wanted a picture with him cause he was a giant leprechaun, well in doing so, Em had asked if she could give him a piggy back ride, he had just laughed and agreed.

The picture was of him falling off her back as Amy and I stood aside watching in complete horror.

"One of the best moments of the day" Amy chuckles "Oh my god Belle look at our faces"

"Dude we were horrified for you" I laugh as Em's cheeks splash a light shade of pink. By now we were sweaty messes, our makeup smeared everywhere, and clothes a mess.

"Alright guys lets go get some food!" My dad had gotten two corned beef roasts that he was cooking up along with potatoes and cabbage. A real St.Paddys day meal.

"Yes!" We all hope out, running out of the car to the house.

Within minutes we were all laying around the living room. Caleb laying beside me, but not talking to me.

He'd been quiet all day, smiling when necessary so no one would know he's off. He was stressed, I could tell, I am too, but the difference between him and I in situations like these, nothing changed that much within me when I was stressed, I still put on a show until somehow someone noticed a crack in my normality act. Co, however, just shut down. He didn't talk, barely smiled and was in his head constantly, not paying attention to anything.

"Hey" I nudge him

"What?"

"Stop being like this"

"I'm not being like anything" he rolls his eyes at me

"You are and you know it" I state quietly. He doesn't answer me and just stares ahead at the tv. My being, well me, I huff and stand up.

"Hey let's play a board game" I had them up in my room, the top shelf of my closet

"I'm down" both Arrex and Ace say at the sane time, Beck just nods and the rest of them soon agree.

"Jolly green giant, come help me?" I question Co, giving him a look

"Yeah" he huffs getting up

Once in my room, I close the door and lean against it, looking over at him.

"What's up with you?" I question

"I'm stressed" is all he says before sitting back on my bed "Belle we're telling them soon," he says

"Co" I plead "I can't-"

"We decided to tell them today, that's what we are going to do" he argues

"No you decided that" I snap "You decided that we're going to tell them, I never said a thing." I know I agreed like two weeks ago, but the actual prospect of telling them scares the everliving shit out of me.

"I don't fucking care who decided Belle" he yells at me "Fine, yeah I decided this. If I left it to you, you'd leave it off until fucking August to tell them!"

"No I wouldn't!" I argue, sending a glare at him.

"You would. You're scared of what they'd say, you're terrified about what will happen," he states, staring down at me, his eyes emotionless "You're too afraid of their reaction to actually be with me"

"Do not say that. Do not fucking guilt trip me" I snap at him "It's the exact reason I'm fucking terrified to tell them! I want to be with you, more than anything, but the minute we tell them, shit could change and I don't want you nor I to be put in that position!"

"We should at least try Belle! I fucking lo-" he stops himself and takes a deep breath, quieting himself "I fucking want to be with you Belle. But I cannot keep going like this without your brothers knowing. I love them, and I cannot lie to them. You're their sister, they'll forgive you no matter what, but me? I'm their friend, regardless if we've been together our whole lives, I am not family. If it comes between you and I, it's you all day. I don't want to lose my best friends over this,"

"And I don't want to fucking lose you!" I yell at him. The minute we tell them, they'll tear us apart. He's their best friend and I'm their sister, it's against their rules. He has high hopes for something that has a very low probability "This is all just too hard right now Co, telling them could ruin this"

"Fine." He states "Then I'll make it easy for you, we won't tell them"

"Thank you"

"No I wasn't finished." He states coldly again "You don't wanna fight for this, then I'll make it easier for you. We can't tell them anything if there's nothing to tell them about" he states before walking passed me to the door

"So what? That's it?" I question, my heart feeling like it's about to pound out of my chest. I could feel it breaking into a million little pieces.

I've had boyfriends before, but I've never felt this for anyone. I've never felt like this ever in my life.

When he looked back at me, all I could see in his eyes was hurt. The look on his face killed me. He was going to cry and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"Yeah" and with that, he walks out and down the stairs. I hear him tell my parents something about having to leave before my parents bid him goodbye and call the rest of us for dinner.

It takes me a minute to move from my room,I wasn't going to cry...not yet.

"Hey, I'm not feeling all that great, my stomach is really hurting" I tell my dad, trying to keep my voice steady even though, with every word, I was slowly breaking down.

"Are you sure?" Cheri questions, coming closer "Do you need anything, you look like you just saw a ghost"

"Yeah, I'm just -just tired and not feeling all that great" I say, yelling at myself for stuttering "I'm just gonna go to bed"

"Okay I'll be up later to check on you" My dad nods, I just mumble an okay.

I start to cry as I make my way back upstairs. The one person I've ever wanted with all my heart, the one person who can make me smile when I don't want to, the one person who is there for me no matter what, just walked out the door.

And it's all my fault.