*Highly recommend listening to this song, it's perfect for this chapter and one of my favorites!

"Belle? Have you seen A? He has my shoes" Em huffs

"Why?" I laugh at her, it was almost midnight and we were all messes scattered around Tyler's house. The host himself, was loving the attention.

"Cause my feet were hurting and I told him to hold my shoes" She grins and I just laugh. She can be very bossy sometimes.

"Sorry, I haven't seen him"

"Damnit, it's almost midnight, I gotta look presentable for midnight pictures. Speaking of which, how do you not look like a mess right now?" She gestures to my very put together appearance.

"Haven't been drinking that much Em" I shake my head at her, I've only had a few beers, I was a girl of simple taste really.

"I noticed you two have been avoiding eachother" she comments again, sitting beside me "You should really talk to him"

"I can't Em. He and I are friends, and I don't want to mess that up and get stupid feelings involved" I huff, no matter how much I liked him, he's still my best friend and I didn't want to jeopardize that. If anything happens between us, I could lose him and that can't happen.

"I think it's a little too late for that Belle, he's had feeling involved for years." She snorts "It's exactly why you should talk to him. You want to be with someone who's your best friend." She state smile seriously this time

"I don't know Em, he's just confusing sometimes. Like this passed week, he hasn't said a word to me, he's been avoiding me. Granted I've gone along with it, but I just thought that was because he didn't want to see me. And then at the house earlier he was messing with me and I just don't know." I start to ramble. I was so confused and I hated being confused. I felt like I was losing control of this situation and my own emotions, something that never happened to me.

"You can't be in control of everything Belle" Em laughs. That's true, but there have been very few situations I wasn't. "I just wanna see you happy"

"I've been hearing that a lot" I roll my eyes. I am happy, perfectly happy right now... I think. "Can we just not talk about this right now? We have four minutes until midnight,"

"Yeah, I gotta go get my shoes" she huffs with an eye roll

I just grin at her before I stalk into the kitchen. Ty had started gathering everyone into the living room to watch the ball drop, I however snuck back into the kitchen to pour champagne for everyone.

Turns out he didn't have any champagne flutes, honestly I don't think he owned anything glass. Red solo cups it is.

We're classy bitches down here.

"What are you doing in here?" The familiar deep voice sounds behind me, scaring the shit out of me and causing me to spill a little bit of the champagne on my top and the counter.

"You scared the shit out of me" I semi-yell at him as he just sort of-grins at me

"Sorry" he shrugs "Why are you in here?"

"Just pouring some champagne for everyone" I mumble, turning away from him, back to the cups

"Can you please talk to me Belle?" He says seriously now

"About what?" I state, sounding a little more bitter than I'd originally intended to

"Just anything" he grunts

"What?" I turn around to look at him

"I just want to talk to you" he says, his tone sad and his eyes not bright and happy like they usually are

"I miss you" he adds after a moment of silence, his voice cracking slightly, making me almost break right then and there.

"You're confusing as hell" I state once again, before turning around to face him, a red solo cup in hand

"How?" he question, leaning against the counter

"Because you say all these things. And you seem like you want to kiss me one minute and then you're avoiding me and then you joke around with me the next. I dont know what the hell you're trying to do here, but for my sake please figure it the fuck out" I state seriously, this whole being confused shit pissed me off.

"I can't joke around with you?"

"No-wait no I meant yes you can obviously but I- fuck I don't even know where I was going with this," I huff. I don't even know what I was trying to say, I was never good as talking about my feelings "I just don't know where you stand with all of this. I'm confused and I hate being confused. I know how I feel, but you keep messing aruond and I have no fucking clue how to read you" I hear them start to count down in the next room

10

"Stand in what?" He asks, playing dumb

9

"In this!" I motion between us "Stop acting stupid"

8

"You really have no idea?" He questions sincerely,

7

"I'm just confused" I state "I don't know how to feel right now Co"

6

"Just let go, for one night. You have this need to be in control everything, but you can't control everything" he says once again

5

"You've been holding back, trying to control how you feel"

4

"And I guess I have too a little, but I'm done." He continues

3

"What do you mean you're done?" I question

2

"I mean I'm done hiding and trying to control whatever it is I feel for you" he says simply, before stepping right in front of me, cupping my face "You said you don't know where I stand with all of this" he continued, "I'll show you"

1

And he's claiming my lips as his as he pushes me up against the counter. Everything in me exploded, literal firework were going off. This was no sweet first kiss, he kissed me with urgency and hunger, like he needed me.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR" I hear everyone yell in the next room after I completely forgot they were there in the first place

He tasted like mint and cinnamon, with a slight hint of alcohol on his lips and it was everything I'd ever wanted. I just reach up, running my hands through his hair, pulling slightly. At this, he tightens his grin on my hips, groaning slightly as he intensified the kiss.

"Belle?" I distantly hear Arrex calling me from the other room, after realizing it was Arrex calling me, Co and I practically jumped twenty feet from each other. Just in time too as all of my brothers along with our friends entered the kitchen

"Happy New Year guys!" Arrex laughs, giving Caleb one of the guy hugs. Caleb however, was still trying to compose himself, as was I.

"Happy New Year" Co speaks first, I finally find my voice after him, wishing everyone a Happy New year before making up some lame excuse to go pee.

After actually going pee, I just stand in front of the mirror staring back at myself. I don't even know where to go from here. Sure it was the best kiss I've had in my life. Sure, I never realized how satisfying finally kissing him would really be. SURE, maybe I've been wanting to do that for a long ass time. But we are friends, if something were to happen between us, I can't risk losing him. I like him, a lot, and I need him in my life even if it is just platonically. God why the fuck am I so indecisive?

After washing my hands and somewhat gaining control of myself, I set out to find Jordan, I really needed to talk to him. I remember him saying like half an hour ago we was feeling shitty, so my guess is he's probably laying down in the guest room.

When I walk into the guest room, I find my guess was correct. He was definitely laying down in the guest room...

"Oh my holy fuck" I say as I instantly back out of the room, practically slamming the door shut behind me.

"Fuck Belle" I hear Jordan almost laugh

"You can come in now, I have a shirt on" Lexi laughs as I enter with a shit eating grin on my face

"I know we're friends and all Belle, ur I didn't think you be seeing my boobs this soon, I hope you know that we're both stuck in this weird ass friendship now" she snorts and I try to compose myself from laughing my ass of.

"Thank for that bud" Jordan glares at me "What's up?"

"Uh nothing, we can talk later" I grin, before glancing at Lexi "nice shirt" it was Jordan's button down that he'd worn to the party

I simply leave the room, not without popping my head back in, advising them to use protection, and go back downstairs.

"Hey Belle, you okay?" Beck questions as soon as he sees me

"Uh yeah-I'm good" I stutter "I just kinda wanna go home"

"Okay, I'll get the guys, I haven't had anything tonight" he says, his eyebrows furrowed "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah I'm good Beck" I nod, I was nervous around him, I never seriously lie to my twin, sure little white lies here and there but a full out mini-make out session with his best friend? I think that far surpasses a little white lie.

Half an hour later, we're all driving home in Arrex's truck.

Of course I was currently stuck in the back between Wes and Caleb, along with Em while Amy, Beck, Arrex and Ace all sit in the front. Both Colton and Jordan decided to stay at Ty's.

"I had fun" Em laughs, flicking both Ace and Arrex in the back of the head

"Ow" both of them groan. They were just trying to sleep, both had more than enough to drink tonight

"Me too" Caleb smirks, the corners of his lips quirked up

I just roll my eyes at him as I look across Wes out the window, just wanting to be home and in my bed.

No sooner do we get home, that's exactly what I do. I walk straight up the stairs to my room, changing into just an oversized hoodie and my underwear before crawling into bed-trying to forget everything that had happened.

No matter how much I wanted whatever this was between Caleb and I, I couldn't. Right?

What the fuck did I get myself into?